I know you ladies are using this thread to try stand on a stool and be heard over the crowd, and I hope you don't think this me trying to kick the stool out from under you. But I think while you're telling people to stop and think about your unique perspective, you can be quick to dismiss any others from all over the world. America = The World is a real perspective bias that happens across much of the english speaking parts of the internet. This of course shouldn't dictate what you have to permit however. If you're making a garden for yourselves you're entiteled to prune any buds you need to, and rip out any weeds.
I think the solution may just call for a slight attitude adjustment. I can only imagine the mountains of shit you must have to put up with on regular basis, but while you have your arms up in a cage like a seasoned pugalist should, it may be obscuring a part of your view. You may not be seeing how the simple framing of how you issue bans may be causing anxiety.
I've lurked here and at the old place for years and posted maybe a little over 300 times so I'm no loss to the community if I have to be banned to foster a better environment for the rest of you who need it more.
But it would make the world of difference for my, and most observers perspectives, if I heard "Sorry fella, this is a private club and you don't meet the dress code, let me show you the door and best of luck elsewhere!" instead of "Good god, you're much too evil to be here, fuck off and burn in hell forever!".
I think the latter causes alot of the bristling and pushback, whereas the former, most reasonable people could accept a little more gracefully.
Sure some people will still try to cause a fuss but that's just the differnce between the weeds and the buds.