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Ex Girlfriend hit me up but she has a boyfriend

DongBeetle

DongBeetle

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,017
So I'm on my way home from eating with my friends when I get a text from a familiar number. It was my ex girlfriend. I've been blocked on her phone for months at this point and it was a real surprise to hear from her. She wanted to call so we did for about four hours. Mostly we talked about life and school. She talked about her boyfriend a decent amount but also said shit like "I hope me and my boyfriend are together forever but sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision breaking up with you" and that she drives by my place sometimes and thinks about our relationship often. I told her that I still had a sweater she left over. I told her I would mail it to her but she told me she would come over right then and get it.

So she came over and we ended up watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. She asked me if I would erase her from my memory and near the end of the film asked me if I would try things again. She ended up staying til 6am when she left because she felt like she was cheating. She texts me the next day telling me that she's sorry for leaving suddenly and that she didn't want to do anything that would damage her relationship. Other than some light tickling and play fighting we didn't do anything physical.

So here I am GAF. Just feeling kinda down in the dumps. I thought I was over it but I'm clearly not. I'm not really sure why I'm making this thread or if it's a good idea to do so. I'm not asking what I should do because I already know (i should do nothing). I don't have an appointment with my therapist until January but I'm gonna take my medicine more regularly and start my daily three mile runs up again. Since I cant talk to a professional about it, why not talk to a video game forum? But seriously shit dudes I just don't understand what her intentions were
 
entremet

entremet

You wouldn't toast a NES cartridge
Member
Oct 26, 2017
60,142
"So here I am GAF."

LOL.

Don't give her the time of day. You're giving her validation and attention while you still have feelings. You're clearly not over her and continuing to entertain her presence is messing you with. Block her and move on.
 
dlauv

dlauv

Prophet of Truth - One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,513
She's likely just between feelings. Let it play itself out and focus on yourself. Don't focus on her intentions so much, and don't be the one to try and make contact. As others say, it might be healthier to cut her out.
 
vodalus

vodalus

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,220
CT
from a quick google:

What is a Dead Cat Bounce?
A dead cat bounce is a temporary recovery from a prolonged decline or a bear market that is followed by the continuation of the downtrend. A dead cat bounce is a small, short-lived recovery in the price of a declining security, such as a stock. Frequently, downtrends are interrupted by brief periods of recovery — or small rallies — where prices temporarily rise. The name "dead cat bounce" is based on the notion that even a dead cat will bounce if it falls far enough and fast enough.
 
Cenauru

Cenauru

Dragon Girl Supremacy
Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,976
She already left you. She already has another boyfriend. If she cheats on her boyfriend to be with you, there's a chance she'll be ok doing the same to you.
 
Bleu

Bleu

Banned
Sep 21, 2018
1,599
She is using you.
Block her and if she ever contact you again kick her out.
 
luca

luca

Member
Oct 25, 2017
16,523
Ignore her and focus on yourself. My ex called me a few weeks ago, and we hadn't heard from each other for two years. I ignored the call. Then she wrote me and told me she have a new boyfriend who reminds her of me, and that's why she called cause she wanted to hear my voice. I told her I don't feel like talking and whatever it is I hold know grudges or anger toward her and that I'm happy for her. She told me the same thing. And that's it. She should focus on her boyfriend and herself. And I focus on myself.
 
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FreeMufasa

FreeMufasa

Banned
Oct 31, 2017
1,375
Shoulda got the cheeks and bounced. She tryna have her cake eat it too.

Do anything except getting back with her
 
OP
OP
DongBeetle

DongBeetle

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,017
I finished school so I've been mostly masturbating furiously, playing the new Katamari remake and working
 
Anti

Anti

Banned
Nov 22, 2017
2,972
Australia
Cut her out as soon as possible, she is playing games and she just wants your attention but her boyfriends attention as well, she seems needy, fake and a terrible person. Put yoursef in the other guy´s shoes and think how would you feel if it was happening to you.

Don´t give her any options as this will end badly not just for you but for her current boyfriend as well and she most likely play victim at the end and try to shake off all sort of guilt.
 

DesertEater

Member
Oct 28, 2017
28
vodalus said:
from a quick google:

What is a Dead Cat Bounce?
A dead cat bounce is a temporary recovery from a prolonged decline or a bear market that is followed by the continuation of the downtrend. A dead cat bounce is a small, short-lived recovery in the price of a declining security, such as a stock. Frequently, downtrends are interrupted by brief periods of recovery — or small rallies — where prices temporarily rise. The name "dead cat bounce" is based on the notion that even a dead cat will bounce if it falls far enough and fast enough.
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This is amazing...

Yup, sounds like a Dead Cat Bounce to me.

Honestly, she probably just bored and not with her current relationship or not getting the attention she wants so she turns to old relationships for quick validation. She might not be conscious of this, but I would stay clear from it. It will only confuse you.
 
Certinfy

Certinfy

Banned
Oct 29, 2017
3,476
Run. She's either using you for attention or some crap because she doesn't actually like her boyfriend or just wants to play games and make you feel like shit. Either way, don't be stupid.
 
Sho_Nuff82

Sho_Nuff82

Member
Nov 14, 2017
18,439
Her intentions were to see if you were still available if she changes her mind. She now knows you are. Congrats?
 

Deleted member 27246

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 30, 2017
3,066
DongBeetle said:
I just don't understand why she would do it in the first place. It shits going so well why try and fuck with me?
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She was keeping you as some sort of a back-up. The 'I might have made a mistake' is something I have heard too. In my case I was just getting interested in another girl, so I guess the ex felt she was about to lose her back-up.
 
Wolf of Yharnam

Wolf of Yharnam

Self-requested ban
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,004
Lmao, if I was her boyfriend I'd dump her asap. This comes so close to cheating for me... Playfighting / tickling?!

She's clearly using you. She didn't give a shit about you until now. No man, you know what to do

Btw. why did she break up with you? That could change a lot
 
BLEEN

BLEEN

Member
Oct 27, 2017
21,890
entremet said:
Don't give her the time of day. You're giving her validation and attention while you still have feelings. You're clearly not over her and continuing to entertain her presence is messing you with. Block her and move on.
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One and done. She's already emotionally cheating so there's that. I wouldn't get caught up in this.
 
LosDaddie

LosDaddie

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,622
Longwood, FL
I'd probably smash for a night, sure.

If you're single, then I don't see why not. As long as you're not trying to get back together, then there's nothing wrong with stretching her walls one last time.

Life is too short to worrying about how her relationship is going, or why she's hitting you up. Get yours, bruh.
 
burnsy

burnsy

Banned
May 31, 2018
438
She has got you by the balls and is manipulating you to feed her ego. You're obviously not over her and she knows it. You should not have let her over or even talk for four hours while she has a boyfriend. I'd say she knows the power she has over you and is playing both sides to get attention and validation. This is emotional abuse to you and is a form of cheating on her part. She is gaining at your expense.

I would advise you to play no part in it. avoid disappointment and heart break just block her number.
 
Chibs

Chibs

Member
Nov 5, 2017
4,507
Belgium
You're the backup plan. It's quite possible her relationship isnt' going great at all and she's checking if you'd still be there for her if that relationship breaks. Hence, the backup.

It's a shitty situation to be in, especially if you still have feelings. Tread carefully.
 
Casualcore

Casualcore

Member
Jul 25, 2018
1,303
Sounds like she has guilt or regrets, or has doubts about her current relationship and doesn't want to be alone. It's not unheard of for people to get back together, but in my experience, relationships break up for a reason. Even if you're both improved since then, you'd likely both slide into the familiar habits that made it not work before.
 
Deleted member 21339

Deleted member 21339

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
13,691
DongBeetle said:
Her intentions are clear. She's cut communication with me again. Just wish it hurt less
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She doesn't exist anymore. Never answer her calls or respond to her texts again. She sucks.

Easier said than done but you are only going to get hurt in the long run. She doesn't care about your feelings, only what you can do for her in the moment. She only thought about herself, not you and not the guy she's dating. Immature and selfish person. Cut your losses and find someone who actually respects you.
 
entremet

entremet

You wouldn't toast a NES cartridge
Member
Oct 26, 2017
60,142
LosDaddie said:
I'd probably smash for a night, sure.

If you're single, then I don't see why not. As long as you're not trying to get back together, then there's nothing wrong with stretching her walls one last time.

Life is too short to worrying about how her relationship is going, or why she's hitting you up. Get yours, bruh.
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He seems too emotionally involved still though. Like a puppy dog missing his owner lol. You're advice would make sense if he has moved on.

Plus she blocked him originally. She's dictating the terms of this. There's no mutuality here.
 
Keym

Keym

The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
9,197
She was clearly testing the waters OP, but it doesn't matter. She shouldn't have done that to you, least of all while she's with someone else. Don't let her contact you again.
 
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