New pasta? Source?Good. Johnson almost made a great movie, but it wasn't quite there, and I think a new version is exactly what fans deserve. In terms of the story, clearly it's brilliant. But there is one critical element that's missing. It needs a sexual punch-up. We need to get a female lead character in there that Kylo can bang throughout the whole movie. See, one of the problems with Star Wars films is that they lack a certain eroticism. What if we were to bring an incredibly hot but skeptical female Knight of Ren partner into the mix? And then that way, whenever Kylo's not out busting heads because he's sensed rebellion, he's back at the Supremacy performing outrageous sexual experiments on her supple, young body. Now here's the twist. And there is a twist. We show it. We show all of it. Because what's the one major thing missing from all Star Wars films these days? Full penetration. We're gonna show full penetration, and we're gonna show a lot of it. I mean, we're talking, you know, graphic scenes of Kylo Renn really going to town on this hot, young Knight of Ren from behind, 69, anal, vaginal, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl All the hits. All the big ones. All the good ones. And then he senses rebellion again. He's out busting heads. Then he's back to the Supremacy for some more full penetration. He senses rebellion. Back to the Supremacy, full penetration. Rebellion, penetration, rebellion, full penetration, rebellion, penetration. And this goes on and on and back and forth for 90 or so minutes until the movie just sort of ends.
Poe's law says . . . Shrug.The twitter account and the webpage are hilarious. I'm hoping that the person behind it eventually reveals that he was just trolling all the dumb Star Wars fanatics who bought into it. I mean this has to be what is going to happen right?
Bingo. Didnt have that dreaded "diversity" that TLJ had. That is the only reason they fixate on TLJ but not the prequels.
They can still live in their straight white male bubble watching the prequels.
Ding ding dingY'know, it's not Disney ruining Star Wars, it's the fucking fans that are making this shit insufferable.
Another winnerWhat's extra annoying about this is that these super extreme "fans" who hate TLJ are basically going to drown out any actual legit discussion about the movie. It definitely has some flaws and character moments that are worth discussing, but nobody is going to pay attention to that because of shitheads like these people.
Star Wars is weird. Even at the official events like the Star Wars Celebration, everyone who comes up on stage to speak has to tell the audience about the first time they saw Star Wars, like we're all part of some secret society for liking the world's most popular entertainment brand.
I don't know how it all turned into the mess we have today where every gross incel shitheel feels they're entitled to a perfect Star Wars free of women and minorities that ticks every box on their imaginary checklist of what a Star Wars needs to be, though. The Last Jedi lit a fire inside people the likes of which I've never seen before. Six months out and you still can't mention Star Wars without it turning into a TLJ Hot Take contest.
It's because these fans treat Star Wars as such an integral part of their identity. Anything they perceive as flawed with it has to be internalized, and that can deliver a blow to their psyche.Star Wars is weird. Even at the official events like the Star Wars Celebration, everyone who comes up on stage to speak has to tell the audience about the first time they saw Star Wars, like we're all part of some secret society for liking the world's most popular entertainment brand.
I don't know how it all turned into the mess we have today where every gross incel shitheel feels they're entitled to a perfect Star Wars free of women and minorities that ticks every box on their imaginary checklist of what a Star Wars needs to be, though. The Last Jedi lit a fire inside people the likes of which I've never seen before. Six months out and you still can't mention Star Wars without it turning into a TLJ Hot Take contest.
The really funny thing here is that almost all the non-racist complaints people list about TLJ are actually complaints about TFA. Abrams saddled Johnson with unfulfillable expectations. Johnson smartly responded to this by not trying to fulfill them.
Honestly this might be smartest way to handle a potential Snoke exposition that I've read. Kind of like Obi-Wan briefly describing Darth Vader in ANH.TLJ could have had Luke trying to figure out about Snoke in his exile or whatever and Rey asks who this guy is who turned Ren or some nonsense.
That Yoda scene though
Uwe Boll is no Tommy Wiseau. If you're going to make the best, you have to get the best.this redo won't work til they get a excellent director like Uwe Boll
This topic just reminded me a book I read recently that was just exposition after exposition with bits of story in between.
It was interesting because it was a critic of European Monarchy circa 1700s and it was really well written.
But dear god it killed any pacing the story had and the narrative or the characters felt like an afterthough over how the author felt about Monarchy.
I'm really absolutely glad they didn't go that route or the Prequel route of expogab forever and keep that at the minimun.
Uwe Boll is no Tommy Wiseau. If you're going to make the best, you have to get the best.
Guilty as charged.My jerk-knee reaction when reading this, I swear to God, was: "(s)he's totally talking about Victor Hugo"
Then two posts later I was right.
Many years ago, I once read Les Misérables unabridged. It took me 5 years off and on but I did it. God that book was difficult to slog through.
TLJ is what it is, Star Wars fans. Just let it be what it is now. You dont see people get hellfired over the Star Trek reboot's?
Good. Johnson almost made a great movie, but it wasn't quite there, and I think a new version is exactly what fans deserve. In terms of the story, clearly it's brilliant. But there is one critical element that's missing. It needs a sexual punch-up. We need to get a female lead character in there that Kylo can bang throughout the whole movie. See, one of the problems with Star Wars films is that they lack a certain eroticism. What if we were to bring an incredibly hot but skeptical female Knight of Ren partner into the mix? And then that way, whenever Kylo's not out busting heads because he's sensed rebellion, he's back at the Supremacy performing outrageous sexual experiments on her supple, young body. Now here's the twist. And there is a twist. We show it. We show all of it. Because what's the one major thing missing from all Star Wars films these days? Full penetration. We're gonna show full penetration, and we're gonna show a lot of it. I mean, we're talking, you know, graphic scenes of Kylo Renn really going to town on this hot, young Knight of Ren from behind, 69, anal, vaginal, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl All the hits. All the big ones. All the good ones. And then he senses rebellion again. He's out busting heads. Then he's back to the Supremacy for some more full penetration. He senses rebellion. Back to the Supremacy, full penetration. Rebellion, penetration, rebellion, full penetration, rebellion, penetration. And this goes on and on and back and forth for 90 or so minutes until the movie just sort of ends.
I think the whole thing with the mystery shit is that there's a disconnect between the characters and some of the audience. The characters in the story do not give a shit who Snoke is, he isn't presented as a mystery to be solved, the people he's affected the most(Ren, Leia, Han) already seem to know everything they would ever want to know about Snoke and that's that.
Guilty as charged.
l'Homme qui rit is a kind of a nice story and the analysis is interesting and everything but dear god do 1 or the other!
I refuse to believe this guy was celebrated for his writing because he was supposedly a storyteller.
Like kids bag on Zola for being overwrought with descriptions and shit but at least ALL the descriptions have a direct relation with what's fucking happening.
And you cemented what I thought about Les Misérables, I'm never going to read that.
93 is going to be the final part of my deep dive into Hugo.
Victor Hugo, master of World building!In Les Misérables, Victor Hugo spends 100 pages, no joke, going over the history of the covent where Jean Valjean and Cosette end up hiding after being chased by Jalvert. It adds absolutely NOTHING to the plot!
The only Zola I've read was Germinal and that was required reading in High School. But I really, really loved it. I need to read more of his books.
Anyway, back on topic... Lol at that Misery reference above. It's actually quite fitting!
Your prose is only worse because you don't have 75 pages to expand on it!^^I think people just want something similar to the conference room scene in episode 4. We get a ton of exposition about the world, but in a way that feels natural (politicians / army guys arguing about politics). I don't think Star Wars fans necessarily want 50 pages of exposition à la Hugo ("Rien ne ressemblait plus, il y a un demi-siècle, à la première porte cochère venue que la porte cochère du numéro 62 de la petite rue Picpus. Cette porte, habituellement entr'ouverte de la façon la plus engageante, laissait voir deux choses qui n'ont rien de très funèbre, une cour entourée de murs tapissés de vigne et la face d'un portier qui flâne..." Zzzzzzzz)
I think everyone would have been satisfied with Leia giving a quick summary of the situation around the hologram projector: "for too long, the Republic has let the remnants of the Empire grovel in the far reaches of the galaxy. They never took their threats seriously but their deafness has paid the ultimate price. We need to take down Starkiller base!"
OK, my prose is really bad, but you get the idea.
Have you seen how much money fans would give to realize their dreams?They can't possibly actually have 150 million dollars.... where do people get this much money and you could do so much more with this money. This whole story is weird
From the website "You DO NOT have to put financial or personal information in, just an email address and a pledge."They can't possibly actually have 150 million dollars.... where do people get this much money and you could do so much more with this money. This whole story is weird