Fetishes weird me out and make me feel judgmental...

Do you have fetishes?

  • Yes

    Votes: 335 85.9%
  • Not that I know of

    Votes: 55 14.1%

  • Total voters
    390
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Baconmonk

Avenger
Oct 26, 2017
4,823
I don’t quite know the difference between someone kinky and someone with a fetish
I can understand not knowing the difference, as well as it not being a necessary distinction for most folks to even need to know. I also don't claim to be an expert, just want to try and shed light. But since we're in a thread about it...

Dictionary definitions (of the sexual variety) are literally:

Fetish - an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

Kink - unconventional sexual taste or behavior

So basically, a person with a fetish needs something very specific to happen for them to be fulfilled sexually. Think more of the folks living doggy lifestyles and bug chasers.

Folks with kinky lifestyles may like to engage in some more 'off-brand' sexual stuff (to them) from time to time. But the key is that it isn't a required or necessary part of their sexual experience.

Personally, I'm plenty kinky but I don't have any fetishes. Also, I think if folks aren't forcing their lifestyles on others it generally isn't an issue.
 
Oct 29, 2017
3,010
Here's some creep fuel for you -- a brief video chronicling a "Daddy Dom Little Girl" relationship:


This guy's girlfriend spends some significant amount of time living and acting as a 5-year-old, and regards her boyfriend as her father. She has toys, coloring books, and affects a squeaky high-pitched child voice. She has a list of rules posted on the wall, the most troubling of which is the second rule "Don't tell Daddy no". For some reason the rule that basically says "Get a job" cracks me up though.

Oh no...Im not gonna watch that. Your description is all I need. Im just gonna say it although most people have already basically touched on this: Not all fetishes/kinks are equal and the mantra of accepting all kinks/fetishes lets some really weird/unhealthy shit fly. Of course everyone's line in the sand is different and I like to think Im pretty open minded to a lot of stuff but some of these just seem like windows into some kind of mental/emotional issues.
 

Kemono

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,248
I can understand not knowing the difference, as well as it not being a necessary distinction for most folks to even need to know. I also don't claim to be an expert, just want to try and shed light. But since we're in a thread about it...

Dictionary definitions (of the sexual variety) are literally:

Fetish - an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

Kink - unconventional sexual taste or behavior

So basically, a person with a fetish needs something very specific to happen for them to be fulfilled sexually. Think more of the folks living doggy lifestyles and bug chasers.

Folks with kinky lifestyles may like to engage in some more 'off-brand' sexual stuff (to them) from time to time. But the key is that it isn't a required or necessary part of their sexual experience.

Personally, I'm plenty kinky but I don't have any fetishes. Also, I think if folks aren't forcing their lifestyles on others it generally isn't an issue.

Thanks for the explanation.

it seems i don't have a fetish but some kinks...

Cool.
 

Abstrusity

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,524
This sounds like the perfect place to reintroduce the numerical kink value (NKV) scale. A quantification of fetishes, that orders then only in the most nonjudgmental way: by how dangerous it is.

On the Numerical Kink Value (NKV) scale, there is separation of consentual and non consentual kinks and sex acts, varying from the benign, like body part fetishism, roleplay, or graphs, to the far less so, like snuff, or bloodletting, or beating.

In this way, we can categorize the entire spectrum of fetishes. Both consentual and nonconsentual graphs of severity of kink follow a heavy tailed distribution, more heavily varied on the lower end of the scale, with most people being closely aligned with many 1-2 kinks, fewer 3, with rarer 4 and 5 kinks at lowest numbers.

Some of you may be confused, as nonconsentual typically denotes sexual assault or worse, but that cannot be further from the truth, as nonconsent as a kink is heavily represented; Here, noncon refers to wanting a kink to be forced through roleplay. However, the typical actions required of these types of kinks may change the Numerical Kink Value.

I am currently on my lunch break, but I would *love* to continue to discuss this upon my return home.
 

Neece

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,553
Here's some creep fuel for you -- a brief video chronicling a "Daddy Dom Little Girl" relationship:


This guy's girlfriend spends some significant amount of time living and acting as a 5-year-old, and regards her boyfriend as her father. She has toys, coloring books, and affects a squeaky high-pitched child voice. She has a list of rules posted on the wall, the most troubling of which is the second rule "Don't tell Daddy no". For some reason the rule that basically says "Get a job" cracks me up though.
The guy looks (and sounds) like he’s not really into it. One sided as hell.
 

Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
16,087
Everyone who is furry-shaming in this thread is being a massive asshole. Furry-shaming can have severe consequences for young and vulnerable people, and I'm going to explain why. Fair warning to anyone reading this post, I'm going to discuss childhood sexual abuse and grooming, so skip it if that is triggering for you.

Starting at age 13, I was groomed by predators online to engage in sexual roleplaying/chats, most of whom I met through online games and then later the furry community. This was in the mid to late 2000's, so furry shaming and shitting on furries was extremely common and accepted. I saw those kinds of comments online all the time, heard them from my friends, and that made me extremely ashamed of being into furry stuff. So ashamed that I hid the fact that I was into furry stuff from everyone. That included hiding the fact that I was interacting sexually with adult men over the internet. Whenever something would happen that would make me uncomfortable, or scared, or fucked up as part of the grooming and abuse, I never talked to anyone about it because I was so afraid of being judged for being into furry stuff. So it wasn't until years later that I finally got into therapy and began dealing with what happened to me, but by that time the damage had been done. The fear of ridicule and shame and hatred and ostracization kept me silent about my abuse for years, and I've still barely told anyone about it.

This kind of shaming can have the same effect that slut shaming has on women who are assaulted. Many women don't come forward about their assault because they are afraid they will be judged for their behavior, for being drunk, for what they were wearing, etc. So they stay silent. Furry shaming had the same effect on me, it kept me silent about the abuse I suffered for over a decade, and kept me from seeking help while the abuse was occurring. If you are engaging in furry shaming, you are participating in a culture that keeps victims silent.
 

Border

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,685
The guy looks (and sounds) like he’s not really into it. One sided as hell.
I got the sense that he really isn't into the Little Girl crap, but puts up with it because it allows him to have a great deal of power and authority in the relationship ("Don't tell Daddy No"). In the broader community of "Dom" people I suspect there's some subset of people that probably aren't too into the kink/fetish but just like it because they want control/power.

I have loved a woman as much as I thought it was humanly possible, but I don't think I have ever loved a woman enough to tolerate her behaving like an eight-year-old. Not sure what I would do of someone I was deeply involved with sprung this on me.
 

Wackamole

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,585
People are complicated.

Some feel the need to pose with pouting lips while sweating for an online avatar.
Why? Who knows...

But i agree. I had a pretty normal happy childhood and some fetishes are so incredibly weird to me.
Some even ruine my porn experience because some thumbnails are incredible boner-killers.
I do NOT want to see gaping assholes or pink socks, pissing, pooping, etc
I won't judge a person for it but i don't want to see it either.

The gift (barebacking at parties to receive HIV) is one of the weirdest things i have ever heard.
That doesn't seem like a fetish though.
 

KSweeley

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,450
Baltimore, Maryland, USA
According to Wikipedia, there's a fetish where people get sexually aroused seeing others pee on themselves:


Omorashi (おもらし / オモラシ / お漏らし), sometimes abbreviated as simply "omo", is a form of fetish subculture originating and predominately recognized in Japan, in which participants experience arousal from having a full bladder or wetting themselves, or from seeing someone else experiencing a full bladder or wetting themselves. Outside Japan, it is not usually distinguished from urolagnia, though they are different things. Westerners who do make the distinction commonly use phrases such as "bladder desperation" or "panty wetting", although a number of fetishist communities in the West have also adopted the more specific Japanese language terminology. The term "omorashi" means "to wet oneself", literally translated, "leaking". The word is also occasionally romanized as "omorasi" in the Kunrei-shiki romanization system.

One of the variations is known as omorashi yagai, which translates as "to wet oneself outdoors (or publicly)." A further variation includes yagai hōnyō, or "outdoor (or public) urination", in which the subject publicly removes their clothes to urinate. Other yagai hōnyō practitioners operate much like graffiti artists, attempting public urination acts without being caught.[2]

Japanese-produced omorashi media also include comic books and cartoons. These range from independently produced dōjinshi to large, commercially-produced manga. Some focus exclusively on omorashi stories, while others include only the occasional scene. Some contain obvious sexual themes and could be considered a form of H manga, while others, like Iinari! Aibure-shon, are well known to be suitable for all ages, since they have only mild ecchi content such as panchira.[7] Omorashi manga may also adopt the formula of an existing genre while shifting the focus towards wetting scenarios, as in Omujo! Omutsu Joshi, which follows the typical Harem formula but features teenage characters who wet their panties and wear diapers.

Wetting scenes have existed in anime as early as the popular Doraemon and Devilman series of the 1970s.

However, these did not have the erotic context which characterizes modern omorashi media, since they predated the first full-blown anime pornography, which was not available until 1984, when the advent of the first H anime OVAs such as Wonder Kids' Lolita Anime were made possible by the widespread availability of home video. One example of this later erotic context is the 1994 H anime OVA Vixens, which features scenes of incontinence in a setting that is overtly sexual.

There are also sites where users can upload and watch their own pictures. It can be fanart or manga. Sometimes there are GIFs involved. The most known site for such fanart is omorashi.org. Those pictures are more likely the fanart of already existing anime or game characters (SAO or Touhou), but there are some own pictures too.

An eroge (erotic game) is a Japanese video or computer game that features erotic content, usually in the form of anime-style artwork. The crossover of omorashi and anime fandom has produced a number of games such as Water Closet: The Forbidden Chamber which are specifically focused on omorashi. The limited popularity of omorashi in the West has prompted a number of programmers in the scene to create software patches for these Japanese games which translate the on screen text into English.[8]

Some eroge game designers have capitalized on the omorashi fandom's niche market by including the occasional wetting scene in their games as a selling point. MAID iN HEAVEN SuperS,[9] for example, which contains only a single, diapered wetting scene, was used to spin-off an entire set of collectible figures in various omorashi poses.[10] These PVC model figures were created by toy manufacturer Giga Pulse, which is not related to the video company of similar name.

Vice Media has documented an account of an omorashi community existing in the United States since at least 1970.[14] Outside Japan omorashi groups sometimes refer to their shared interest as "desperation/wetting" fetishism, often making a distinction between content featuring males and females. In 2018, People magazine[15] and the New York Post[16] reported the use of the English language portmanteau word "peegasm" among people who practiced "releasing urine after a long period of time" in order to achieve "a stimulation of pelvic nerves" that "could feel like an orgasmic response.” Some English language fetish websites with a focus on females simply identify as "panty wetting." Since such sites abandon the "desperation" title which implies an effort not to wet, they are more likely to include nudity, overtly sexual models and situations, as well as purposeful (as opposed to accidental) wetting. There are still communities which focus on the more tame or softcore aspects of omorashi, which are generally focused on simple wetting in fully or semi-clothed situations without the overtly sexual models and situations. However, this softcore side is more rare in English-speaking communities than the more explicitly sexual omorashi content.
 

Bramblebutt

Member
Jan 11, 2018
1,560
What I think is fascinating about kinks is how many are not what you'd consider innate or immutable and tend to go in and out of favor with the general public as time passes and cultural fascinations change. And this is totally not me lowkey whining about the lack of content for my own obscure kink in recent years.
 

Black_Red

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,492
I think I can totally understand the HIV one, Im a person extremely scared about breaking condoms because one time it happened to me and I didnt noticed. Porn videos where it happens kind of turn me on, even if in real life Im spending 3 times more money on better condoms to avoid it happening again.

I guess its because of the fear/adrenaline of the situation, and it may be something similar with the HIV risk.
 
Oct 25, 2017
5,497
Every time the topic of fetishes/kinks come up i roll in like "yeah man whatever you like as long as you're not hurtin anybody have fun" but I always end up leaving like "humanity was a mistake and we deserve the fire."
 

AliceAmber

That spark, this Resistance, must survive.
Moderator
May 2, 2018
930
Space
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Let's not have a discussion where the sole purpose is to shame others.
 
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