We're rating villains now? Here's my thoughts on the main series villains:
- I; Garland/Chaos, an absolute classic, what a nothing character. The most daimao of villains in the series. He's just a knight given a task by the lords of the elements and he gets killed 10 minutes in and by sheer plot contrivance gets sent back in time to become a demon and send the elemental fiends to the future. Who started this loop? Who knows, Garland sucks.
- II; Emperor Mateus, dude literally made a deal with Satan, got killed had his souls split in two his good part going to heaven and his bad part to hell and his evil soul took over hell and his good soul took over heaven because even his good part was evil. Looks like David Bowie, what a badass.
- III; Xande was one of three mages apprenticing under Noah and Noah decides to give gifts to all of their students: One gets all the knowledge of magic, one gets control of all dreams and Xande? Xande gets to fucking die. Xande is fucking piiiiiisssed. So he decides fuck the world i'm draining the light, and he fucking does and summons the Cloud of Darkness and then they both get chumped by the warriors of light. Moral: don't give awesome powers to two of your apprentices and then give the last one mortality and expect them not to try and kill the universe. I guess?
- IV; Golbez is just Darth Vader. Zemus is a loser.
- V; it's a fucking tree, 10/10
- VI; Gestahl is a goon, "oh look at me, my sprite looks like a dog!", Kefka's a literal clown.
- VII; Rufus is a doofus, Sephiroth is an interesting case study on what not to do with your villains. Having him not be an actual presence until the end of the game? Everyone constantly hyping him up? unintelligible connection to the main character? Mommy issues? B/10, try again.
- VIII; Edea was a neat concept that's been done a billion times, "secret advisor to empire slowly controlling minds" double twist she's being controlled as well! Hey Edea, Golbez called, he wants his shtick back; Ultimecia is a weird idea with her sorceress powers originated in the future? There's a stable timeloop there or something? She gets persecuted because she did something in the past or something? She kinda just appears out of nowhere, Z/99 your dreams are unclear.
- IX; I'm gonna be frank with y'all, I never finished IX. Goku/5, give your villains more clothes.
- X; Seymore Guado doesn't fucking die. How the heck doesn't he die I killed him like 90 times fucking die. Sin is interesting as a villain, more a force of nature also he's gross. Yu Yevon ain't a character. ∞/
- XI; The true enemy is actually Shantotto, huge spoilers, she's evil, DON'T BELIEVE HER RHYMING LIES
- XII; I've played this game to completion like 3 times I can't fucking recall the villains what the fuck
- XIII; The fal'cie are such nothing. The pope was one and he was neat before he turned into faces. Who the fuck spells it Jihl? The real villains are the friends we made along the way and/or Toriyama. IIII/XIII
- XIV; By the twelve, Nael van Darnus deserved a better game. 1.0 in general deserved a better game. The Ascians are kinda boring, tbh. Their god is a fucking purple crystal, what a bunch of shadowless weirdos. Praise be to Hydaelyn/10.
- XV; by Etro is the villain such a nothing character. They're trying to go for charismatic smarmy and missing completely. Get a better hat, ya doofus. I don't care how much the astrals made fun of you because you ate too much starscourge or whatever, you're not compelling. Every other villain dies off screen, what a great story.