I can't speak to what it's like in rp servers, but lalas take by far the most grief of any race in the game and I don't think it's really arguable. I mean in your original post you called them potatoes and said they should be deleted from the game. Playing as a lala, we tend to get a chip on our shoulder. As for NPC's, the Elezen's defining characteristic is pretty much being racist bastards, so I would think they would get more grief for that first, but no it's usually the lalas that get shit on.
I feel like it's massive chip on the shoulder to the max with lalas. Even on the ff14 forums I find that they are the most aggressive, arguementive race of players.
And every race has its "decent" nicknames. Like the corpse people, the draggos and snu snu and such. No one really takes it personally other than lalas it seems.
Also for personal history ... When I first started tanking I use to hate being grouped with lala players because I simply couldn't see where they were when they were in melee range. For a time I use to mark them just to keep track. But that was a long time ago and I no longer have that problem lol!
Shit taking wise I think the roe have them beat. We're the least played race with the fewest played females. People openly call our race ugly and use real world trans slurs for femroes because of our build. The thing is, most all Femroes I've talked to or encounter (outside of this server. I legit think many Femroe on mateus are only playing them for futa erp and don't actually like them) have been the nicest most helpful players. Even on the ff14 forums they seem to be the most chill.
Lalas catch shit because of the way their players act, roe catch shit simply for not being traditionally cute in this game that focuses so much on that.
Also I blocked out most of hw story. Hated the area and it felt so disconnected from what we were doing iirc.