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Nov 4, 2017
7,352
My wife and I had a fight (she was yelling, no physical fight) in front of our eight-month-old son a while back, and hearing him cry made me feel really bad. I guess at his age, he won't remember shit, and I'm sure most parents have loud arguments at some point, but it's scary to think of how arguing with your spouse can fuck up your kid.
As someone that has parent fighting all the time, you don't remember what exactly happened but the feelings of confusion, fear and sadness are always in the memory and stay with you.
Unfortunately, I remember shit like that when I was 3 years old forward, plus all the sentiments you've said above.
Yeah, things that happen before you start developing long term memories can still cause life-long damage. In some ways it can be worse, since you can't recall it clearly enough to discuss or work through the issue in therapy. If you can remember it, you can talk about it and try to develop strategies to cope with the trauma.

Source: I used to be a grief/loss counsellor, specialising in working with kids/families. Also a DV survivor.
 

JimmyJacking

Member
Oct 28, 2017
414
A few updates.

https://www.msn.com/en-au/news/aust...nge-avo-conditions/ar-BBQSayq?ocid=spartanntp

https://www.news.com.au/national/ns...e/news-story/2f88a38f28410f36b41896d1901c1ca5

Sydney gamer Luke James Munday, accused of assaulting his partner while livestreaming to his thousands of followers, has appeared in court.
Mr Munday, 26, was charged with common assault on Sunday, hours after his camera captured audio of his 21-year-old partner screaming and crying after claiming she had been hit in the face.
...
Magistrate Ian Cheetham adjourned the case to January 10 in order to give Mr Munday time to receive adequate legal advice and agreed Mr Munday would not have to appear at his next court date.
Mr Munday showed no emotion as his lawyer applied to have the matter adjourned.
Looking straight ahead, the 26-year-old let out a slight smile when the magistrate agreed to let him miss his next court date.
He didn't say anything when he left court.
….
In court today, his partner wrote a letter supporting the AVO but applied to have a condition changed, but police denied the request.
 

sephi22

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
873
User Banned (1 Week): Victim Blaming
Destiny with a self-described Nuclear take.
- The man repeatedly tries to de-escalate by saying go away and I'll be out soon.
- Physical abuse against men isn't taken as seriously as against women.
- The woman instigates both emotional and physical abuse by yelling and assaulting him first.
- He keeps trying to de-escalate, but eventually gives in and slaps her once, and goes back to saying he'll be out soon.
- The woman cries, yet continues to harass him and keeps throwing stuff at him.
- "When someone is being physically abusive towards you, it's not enough to say 'Go Away' to de-escalate, because they don't listen to it"

I like Destiny and his content, and I'm not sure about his take. On one hand, I agree with his general sentiments, that the woman started it and that domestic abuse against men isn't taken seriously. On the other hand, she's pregnant! She may be having trouble controlling her emotions and hitting a pregnant woman can have very serious consequences to the child. I can't agree with Destiny completely on this.

 

fanboi

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,702
Sweden
Destiny with a self-described Nuclear take.
- The man repeatedly tries to de-escalate by saying go away and I'll be out soon.
- Physical abuse against men isn't taken as seriously as against women.
- The woman instigates both emotional and physical abuse by yelling and assaulting him first.
- He keeps trying to de-escalate, but eventually gives in and slaps her once, and goes back to saying he'll be out soon.
- The woman cries, yet continues to harass him and keeps throwing stuff at him.
- "When someone is being physically abusive towards you, it's not enough to say 'Go Away' to de-escalate, because they don't listen to it"

I like Destiny and his content, and I'm not sure about his take. On one hand, I agree with his general sentiments, that the woman started it and that domestic abuse against men isn't taken seriously. On the other hand, she's pregnant! She may be having trouble controlling her emotions and hitting a pregnant woman can have very serious consequences to the child. I can't agree with Destiny completely on this.



I can agree that abuse towards men isn't taken as seriously as against women.

But if your SO is bloody pregnant you don't respond with violence (yes, of course, you never should either way) in any way, mental or physical.
 

sephi22

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
873
I implore everyone to watch the first 20-40 minutes of that video, whatever time you can spare. And refute Destiny's points.
 

Mr_Kuschels

Member
Oct 25, 2017
767
I don't get how anyone can defend him. How's his video game time more important than anything family related. He's a low-life who doesn't have his priorities in check. The way he's talking to his wife, especially in front of his kids, is baffling to me. My wife would throw me out the second I ask her to fuck off.

He clearly never learned that having kids means that things change in life and that your daily routine of playing video games whenever it pleases you won't be the same anymore. I have no sympathy for him and feel terribly sorry for his kids.
 

Zelda

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,079
Destiny taking the side of and defending the abuser? Not surprised at all since he's an asshole. Justifying physical violence against a pregnant woman in front of a young child is absolutely insane.
 

Vector

Member
Feb 28, 2018
6,638
If I were in that woman's position, pregnant and with kids to take care of, and my dirtbag husband won't stop playing fucking Fortnite to spend some time with his family then I'd be pretty fucking pissed and it's not inconceivable that I would throw cardboard at him to get his attention, because clearly he won't listen to my voice.

This woman has been in a shitty marriage for what is likely years, so it's not surprising she lashed out the way she did. It wasn't even a serious hit, she was just trying to get his attention because he wouldn't fucking listen.

Stop victim blaming and stop trying to clear this dbag of his actions.
 

endlessflood

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
8,693
Australia (GMT+10)
From an article today in the Sydney Morning Herald:

Following the alleged assault on Sunday night, police imposed an apprehended violence order on Mr Munday, 26, that dictated he could not go within 100 metres of his partner's workplace, where she lives, or the family home.

The court heard that he had applied to change that condition of the AVO.

Mr Munday's pregnant partner had written a letter in support of the change in conditions to allow him to return to the family home, the court heard.

Police opposed the change because of "the nature of the charges".

[...]

Magistrate Ian Cheetham declined to make the change
Bail documents show Munday, who goes by the name MrDeadMoth online, was in 2011 charged with malicious damage and common assault.
Neither were related to domestic violence.
"The accused has a number of convictions/findings of guilt for matters involving violence," the documents state.
His lawyer Steven Mercael of Australian Criminal Law Group applied for his client to be excused from appearing in court on the next occasion, because "there is a lot of attention on this case", which was allowed by the court.

A passerby yelled out at Mr Munday as he left the courtroom, screaming, "You f---ing dog."
Mr Munday was suspended from his job with Telstra on Tuesday.
Telstra general manager media Steve Carey said the alleged assault "goes against what we stand for as an organisation and the work we have done to assist women impacted by domestic violence".

Should change his name to DrDeadShit
 

fertygo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,558
That Destiny video deserve its own thread IMO, because ERA refer to him as anti-right voice.
 
Oct 25, 2017
10,095
Sweden
That Destiny video deserve its own thread IMO, because ERA refer to him as anti-right voice.
Destiny is the ultimate evidence that "Enemy of my enemy is my friend" is so stupid. He has even said, right here on this forum, that he is not your friendly, neighborhood progressive. As someone who used to follow him during his Starcraft 2 days, he is a sociopath.
 

Admiral Woofington

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
14,892
Destiny is the ultimate evidence that "Enemy of my enemy is my friend" is so stupid. He has even said, right here on this forum, that he is not your friendly, neighborhood progressive. As someone who used to follow him during his Starcraft 2 days, he is a sociopath.
All he had to do was keep quiet but he came out and said he's not the ally of the left. I remember him even saying something along the lines of not caring for the issues of women, minorities and other oppressed groups. Didn't he also say something about not seeing anything inherently wrong with some offensive racist terms?

Don't quote me clearly, but I recall him just coming out full swing to drag his own name in the dirt in here lmao
 

Deleted member 32679

User requested account closure
Banned
Nov 12, 2017
2,787
His take is rocky to say the least. I think him being in a physically abusive relationship with his ex is definitely messing up his logic on this.
 

Maneil99

Banned
Nov 2, 2017
5,252
That Destiny video deserve its own thread IMO, because ERA refer to him as anti-right voice.
All he had to do was keep quiet but he came out and said he's not the ally of the left. I remember him even saying something along the lines of not caring for the issues of women, minorities and other oppressed groups. Didn't he also say something about not seeing anything inherently wrong with some offensive racist terms?

Don't quote me clearly, but I recall him just coming out full swing to drag his own name in the dirt in here lmao
To be fair Destiny was in an abusive reletionship that almost lost him custody of his kid. But yah he should know better before his hot take. I tend to agree with him on all his points but this and his veganism arguements def a no no. Although idk how you can not view him as left wing. He is also 100% far left on minorities, women rights and oppressed groups.

A lot of people will say "both sides". But there is a clear escalation of card board box and punching someone's face.
 
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JK-Money

Attempt to circumvent a ban with an alt account
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
2,558
If anyone is a fan of Weapon Wheel Podcast I suggest you stop listening to them, they played the both sides angle and blamed her for what happened, smdh
 

Charamiwa

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,053
I wish I could remember what was that insane Destiny post here on resetera and what was the context of it, because all I remembered was that he sounded like an edgy child talking about how he wasn't there to please the left or something, and he was so proud of it too. He sounded like a maniac. Never been so put off by someone so quickly.
 

Masquerader

Banned
Nov 4, 2017
1,383
I'm gonna be VERY generous and give the more misguided victim blamers some advice: You may be more justified to point out that there's two sides to every coin in a less cut and dry scenario than when it's fucking caught on camera, and even then, it's still inexcusable. You keep forgetting that last part and it's probably best you remember that before you post. AND she's pregnant. For obvious reasons, don't defend (intentionally or otherwise) someone attacking a pregnant person, for their sake and for the sake of their future kid. Jeez.
 

Amnixia

▲ Legend ▲
The Fallen
Jan 25, 2018
10,411
To anyone blaming the victim here, the proper response to getting a piece of cardboard thrown it you is never to beat the shit out of someone.

And that is without the victim being pregnant or kids being prese present.

Unless you're both into bdsm or w/e, no violence against your SO.

It ain't hard to not be a shitbag people.
 
Oct 30, 2017
887
No surprise even his grandfather is a piece of shit

That's a fuckload of an assumption about the grandpa based on his limited words, the fact that you know nothing about him, and considering he probably has infinitely more insight into their years long relationship than you ever will from the few seconds that you're basing all your conclusions on.

But yeah sure, he's a piece of shit. Because, why not.
 

Admiral Woofington

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
14,892
I wish I could remember what was that insane Destiny post here on resetera and what was the context of it, because all I remembered was that he sounded like an edgy child talking about how he wasn't there to please the left or something, and he was so proud of it too. He sounded like a maniac. Never been so put off by someone so quickly.
Yeah I hope someone can link it. After that I lost all interest in seeing his debates like ever.
 

TCi

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
661
No idea why people are dragging in people like Destiny into the thread. What he or anyone else say about the case have nothing to do about this issue. It's like people just want to drag anything and anyone into the drama mud.
 

TCi

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
661
People that hate him, sure likes to follow him.

I guess it is the toxic drama culture social media have created. You have hundreds of channels dedicated to spread drama and spew more drama. All for views and to create further reactions.
 

Whompa

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
4,254
People that hate him, sure likes to follow him.

I guess it is the toxic drama culture social media have created. You have hundreds of channels dedicated to spread drama and spew more drama. All for views and to create further reactions.

they do it for the clicks $$$

Bottom feeders
 

ccieag

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
1,339
Vail, CO
So he was charged, and has to go to court
He will surely lose his job

I think the part most disturbing to me is that the spouse filed a letter to have the AVO amended that he could come home? Did I possibly read that correctly? If so, I have no words
 

GrimJawz

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
612
Canada
So what exactly is the problem with the Destiny video, having only seen about 15m of it myself it seemed mostly fine from the small part I watched.

Also why is it that people see criticising the victim for her actions to any extent in this scenario as the equivalent of somehow saying that they deserved it or were asking for it, why is it you cannot deem her actions in this video as also being poor while not be seen as defending or justifying the mans extreme actions.
 

senj

Member
Nov 6, 2017
4,430
Also why is it that people see criticising the victim for her actions to any extent in this scenario as the equivalent of somehow saying that they deserved it or were asking for it, why is it you cannot deem her actions in this video as also being poor while not be seen as defending or justifying the mans extreme actions.

Because actions speak louder than words.

If you throw in a token "yes obviously thing A is bad, much worse than thing B" and then devote a lot more effort to breaking down why Thing B Was Bad, you don't actually believe that A is worse than B, as very clearly evidenced by your preoccupation with dissecting B. It's dead obvious that B is what really bothers you and where your priorities lie.

It's "both sides same" shit to think they in any way deserve equal amounts of condemnation. Her actions aren't even in the same continent of heinousness as his. They're not worth redirecting effort away from calling him a huge piece of shit.
 

Baji Boxer

Chicken Chaser
Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,376
So what exactly is the problem with the Destiny video, having only seen about 15m of it myself it seemed mostly fine from the small part I watched.

Also why is it that people see criticising the victim for her actions to any extent in this scenario as the equivalent of somehow saying that they deserved it or were asking for it, why is it you cannot deem her actions in this video as also being poor while not be seen as defending or justifying the mans extreme actions.
Because it's not relevant when he beat his pregnant wife in front of his kid, while streaming. I just watched him get hit with an empty folded up box and respond by hitting her. Then going back and beating her again. He was very casual about just trying to go back to streaming, like this was normal.
 

8byte

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt-account
Banned
Oct 28, 2017
9,880
Kansas
God what a piece of shit this guy is.

I'm glad this thread exists so I can put all of these victim blaming jerks on my ignore list. Good night, what a train wreck...
 

aspiring

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,545
So he was charged, and has to go to court
He will surely lose his job

I think the part most disturbing to me is that the spouse filed a letter to have the AVO amended that he could come home? Did I possibly read that correctly? If so, I have no words

Its a common thing in relationships such as this. You fight, slap, throw things, swear, call cops, than in some cases yell at cops when they arresting the partner. And at the end make up.

I dont know if its cultural or not, but living next to people who did this near every weekend growing up, and seeing this instantly reminded me of that.

Thats why the only people i feel for is the kids. This doesnt seem to be a case of he beats her and she is scared. See his response after, her reaction as well. This shit is normal. See the photos of him. She probably beats his ass as well. Its a shitty relationship, and one i have seen plenty of australians have. And at the end of the day the only people who suffer are the kids.
 

endlessflood

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
8,693
Australia (GMT+10)
So he was charged, and has to go to court
He will surely lose his job

I think the part most disturbing to me is that the spouse filed a letter to have the AVO amended that he could come home? Did I possibly read that correctly? If so, I have no words
He's already been to court, but won't have to personally appear on the next occasion after the magistrate's ruling.

He's been suspended from his job and will almost certainly lose it once they've worked through the red tape. His employer, Telstra, is the former government-owned Australian telecommunications monopoly (since privatised), so a huge (and high profile) company.

And yes you read that right. I suspect that police work on the assumption that this sort of thing will happen, including during the trial itself, and so will already have all of the formal statements from the victim that they need so that she can't recant or change her story during the trial. I'm no expert but I think a big part of police work on domestic abuse cases is saving the victims from themselves.

In this case, it doesn't say good things about her support network though, although the fact that she's in a relationship with a deadshit like that probably already told us that. Hopefully she's able to reconnect with people that her partner might have tried to force out of her life.

Thankfully in this case the magistrate agreed with the police and dismissed the proposed AVO change.
 

GrimJawz

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
612
Canada
Because actions speak louder than words.

If you throw in a token "yes obviously thing A is bad, much worse than thing B" and then devote a lot more effort to breaking down why Thing B Was Bad, you don't actually believe that A is worse than B, as very clearly evidenced by your preoccupation with dissecting B. It's dead obvious that B is what really bothers you and where your priorities lie.

It's "both sides same" shit to think they in any way deserve equal amounts of condemnation. Her actions aren't even in the same continent of heinousness as his. They're not worth redirecting effort away from calling him a huge piece of shit.
I understand what your saying people argue in bad faith all the time they say one thing wen they mean another, but I do think that the majority just mean exactly what they say. it just seems like people are jumping to conclusions regarding people's intent trying to hard to sniff out coded bs so then they get to call then out or "drag" them.


And I also don't think people are saying they deserve equal condemnation either, there just examining everything that lead to the conclusion.
 

GrimJawz

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
612
Canada
User Banned (1 Month): Victim blamng, History of Severe Infractions
Because it's not relevant when he beat his pregnant wife in front of his kid, while streaming. I just watched him get hit with an empty folded up box and respond by hitting her. Then going back and beating her again. He was very casual about just trying to go back to streaming, like this was normal.
The assault on the wife is of course the biggest issue and deserves the harshest criticism/ legal ramifications of anything in this situation, but to say everything else isn't relevant is wrong, the everything else is what directly leads us into this awful situation.