This is even more of a reason to give a polite rejection. It seems like you have difficulty saying no.
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"Friends" buying you a drink without asking if you want one
- Thread starter Spaceroast
- Start date
What the fuck OP? Just don't drink it? If you're in a club setting just carry it and then put it down at the bar when no one is looking. The same can apply at a pub, lounge or restaurant. You could also not drink it and asked why just say you're not feeling it. Nothing wrong with the nice and expensive gesture of buying you a drink.
OP
OP
Great! And I don't think I'm reaching too much when I say this should be considered the proper way to go about it.
Happy Bivouac is this still china or some other place?
If you are still in china then I kind of get it, they wanna show their hospitality even though you've been there forever they still act like you are a guest. They also wanna see the laowai drink because we supposedly are good at it. If you have left china then I don't know dude, just tell your friends no.
If you are still in china then I kind of get it, they wanna show their hospitality even though you've been there forever they still act like you are a guest. They also wanna see the laowai drink because we supposedly are good at it. If you have left china then I don't know dude, just tell your friends no.
OP
OP
Talkin about other laowai here in China. I think there is kind of a specific drinking culture that has developed around this particular subset of people. And there is a weird thing that happens where a lot of guys who live here end up trying to be "alpha laowai" moreso than they would back home. Regarding the Chinese drinking culture specifically, I'm not a fan of how they go about it but in a way it's more forgivable because it's got so many ties into how the culture functions as a whole.
I'm just sitting here with a pretty bad headache and wanted to complain. I swear I'm not normally like this.
Buying an alcoholic drink for someone without asking them first is kinda shitty tbh. You are putting pressure on that person to drink something they may not want. It can seem rude or ungrateful to not drink it or give it to someone else in the group.
Don't assume people want your alcohol. Ask first. It isn't hard.
Don't assume people want your alcohol. Ask first. It isn't hard.
Oh yea that makes a bit of sense then. Lots of dudes out here wanna look rich and generous and alpha for sure. Look no further than our failed group chat and how that went down lol.
It is though. Just say "nah thanks I'm good" and pass it along. I do this all the time when I feel like I've reached my limit and my friends want to keep drinking.
Even more so when it comes from mere acquaintances. I see what you mean by "pressure of the drinking culture" but honestly, fuck that. I'm not making myself sick just to look cool or not to offend people I barely know.
ERA After Dark back at it again.
Seriously, just be thankful the persons being kind enough to buy you a free drink. You don't have to drink it, but it's the thought that counts.
Seriously, just be thankful the persons being kind enough to buy you a free drink. You don't have to drink it, but it's the thought that counts.
Someone offering something for free as a kind gesture, described as garbage behavior, is generally said by someone with garbage takes.
Drinks are expensive so I'd be grateful I had friends kind enough to buy me a drink. Even the whole pressure of drinking is simply sorted by saying no.
Now enforced 'round' culture I can get behind. People use it as a way to cheap out of buying drinks and I don't want part of that!
Now enforced 'round' culture I can get behind. People use it as a way to cheap out of buying drinks and I don't want part of that!
Just take it and say thank you. If you don't want it just go and leave it on the bar counter somewhere, the barman will notice it's unwanted and Chuck it down the sink after a while.
Yeah, not a fan of people forcing drinks on you .If someone insists to buy me a drink I normally just go for something weak like a bottle of bud.
In-fact, if I'm out on a bender then I always stick to bottles. My mates can drink 10+ pints a night and still have room for more. If I kept up with them I'd be wasted. I'm a huge lightweight when it comes to alcohol.
In-fact, if I'm out on a bender then I always stick to bottles. My mates can drink 10+ pints a night and still have room for more. If I kept up with them I'd be wasted. I'm a huge lightweight when it comes to alcohol.
Seriously. Make more chinese friends. In most foreign circles in China I have been to.... seriously they suck. Americans trying to talk about their fuckfriends, Germans demanding cheese and milk everywhere....
Expat circles in China are (imo) mostly bad.
"Supposedly"? If your British or Australian you've got it in the bag in most countries.
OP
OP
Truth. The last place you want to be living in China is the Ex Pat gated community.
Had it happen to me at EVO a few years ago by a friend of a friend, even after I told him I don't drink. I just put the drink down on some random table and kept it moving.
Shitty? You're already out at place with the intent of drinking. How is it shitty? More like a present. It was free. if you don't like it, it cost you nothing and someone else would probably finish it. If it wasn't for friends coming back with random drinks at bars I would've never discovered many of my now favorites.
People here have a hard time understanding that a good time also means other people don't step on your boundaries.
Everyone has different alcohol tolerances and people may not want to drink more than a certain amount for all kinds of reasons. Spending money on a drink and presenting it to someone can make the person feel obliged to drink it, as leaving it there or handing it to someone else could feel rude. Not everyone has the same social comfort level.
If you want to be generous and buy someone an alcoholic drink then just ask them first. How hard is that?
About as hard as saying "aww, thanks man, but I gotta drive".
Offering a drink is not stepping on your boundaries. You aren't being forced to drink it.
This would be like saying asking somebody on a date is crossing a boundary because apparently this person will feel obligated to say yes.
I've had this happen to me at a club last year when a female co-worker kept bringing beers and I got so shit-faced drunk that I puked 6 times on the way home.
Needless to say that ain't ever happening again.
Needless to say that ain't ever happening again.
Well that's admittedly your fault for continuing to take the beers and drink. Why didn't you just decline and say that you don't want any more. If she was a good person, she'd understand. If she continued to pressure you than that person isn't someone you should go to the club with.
Tell them to go fuck themselves and you will drink if you want to drink. In the UK its pretty usual behaviour to rib and make fun of each other when drinking and you to learn to throw back as good as you get.
I know. That's what I mean. It was my fault and I learned from it. I did decline it at some point but I underestimated the effect of them and was already pretty drunk.
Buying someone a drink is "garbage behaviour" now?
If they're so terrible why are you out with them?
You need new friends. Never had anyone pressure me to down a drink, and I'd probably laugh in their face even if they tried.