"Friends" buying you a drink without asking if you want one

[Spaceroast]

Can we call out this garbage behavior?

When I go out I usually have a rough idea of how much or how little I intend to drink. Sometimes that's several beers, sometimes one or two, sometimes nothing. On top of that, I am acutely aware of the aftereffects rum & cokes can have on me. Even if I don't get anywhere near drunk, my body reacts so badly to that concoction that I have to suffer well into the next morning. I don't know what that's about but I avoid them if at all possible.

Yet when someone decides HEYYY YOU GUYS ALL LIKE DRINKING RIGHT I'M GONNA BE A GOOD GUY AND MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY WITH MORE DRINKS they somehow think they're being a great friend by basically pressuring everyone into drinking whatever poison they've paid for and brought to the table. And for some reason in my experience it's more often than not going to be rum & coke. I don't want to drink it but now I'll feel guilty if I don't. Way to go, dude.

I guess all I'm saying is if you absolutely must buy a round of drinks, just go around and ask everyone involved if they would like one or not. Please understand.

EDIT: I'm talking about when someone buys you a drink and then verbally pressures you into drinking it. In my experience this seems to be the case a lot of the time, but maybe I'm just unfortunate enough to frequently end up drinking with terrible people. I should have made this clear.

 

[xxracerxx]

Fucking hell, just don't drink it.

 

[Servbot24]

"Friends" giving me things without asking me permission first are no true friends at all!

Just don't drink it, sheesh. You're gonna be out of "friends" real fast at that rate.

 

[StopMakingSense]

Fucking hell, just don't drink it.

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Yep, this.

 

[Poimandres]

Eh, case by case. I have friends who would appreciate a drink 99% of the time (if we are already out drinking), and others I would definitely ask.

 

[Zomba13]

"Thanks but I'm good" *pass drink along to other friend who would like a free drink*

Alternatively cancel them and never speak to them again.

 

[Raguel]

Then....don't drink it? Your friends are just trying to make sure everyone is having fun. If you don't want another drink then tell him. Stop being passive aggressive

 

[Deception]

WCYFBN?

Seriously just don't take the drink, it's not that serious.

 

[NineConsonants]

I mean, are they your friends? I feel like if they are, you can just tell them how you feel about it.

 

[Darkmaigle]

I just say thanks and nurse it while everyone else enjoys themselves and act like a normal godam human being.

Jesus Christ

 

[Deleted member 31817]

They're offering you free drinks lmao. Either drink it and enjoy getting free things or don't drink it.

 

[The_hypocrite]

You must be a great friend!!!

Don't drink it, if you don't want to. Nobody truly cares about it as much as you.

 

[Bluebot]

Just say no thanks and give it to the heavy drinker of the group. In any normal friend group everyone would be happy with this.

 

[Mindfreak191]

No need to get so mad about it, thank him for the drink and kindly refuse and offer him the drink instead, I used to sometimes buy drinks for my friends without them asking, if they decline I would be ok with it, but damn it would make them seem like an asshole if they would call it "garbage behavior"...sheesh

 

[nitewulf]

Typically everyone one asks, "I'm grabbing a round, what're you drinking?"

But don't feel obligated to drink something you can't handle.

 

[IlGialloMondadori]

Garbage behaviour? WTF? Dude buys you something because he's your friend.

"Nah dude, not right now, but thanks!"

How hard is that? You're the one who sounds like you've got some garbage behaviour, IMO.

 

[Flow]

Imagine buying your friend a drink, and instead of telling you they don't want it they instead get on a forum to complain about it. But sure, this is garbage behavior on their part.

 

[kung-fu-owl]

You're not obligated to drink what anyone buys you, "friend" or otherwise. That's in your head. If you're mature enough to decide how much you're going to drink on a given night, then you should be mature enough to manage a polite rejection. Someone else will surely be happy to drink in your stead.

I understand having to do that can be annoying, perhaps, but the fact you think the generosity of others expressed in this way is garbage behaviour says a lot about you and none of it is flattering.

 

[wenis]

It's the sugar in the rum and coke that's killing you the next day.

Just don't drink it. Someone will drink it 🤷🏽‍♂️

 

[Spaceroast]

It's usually more just acquaintances trying to be chummy that do this. With close friends we tend to be more aware of what/how much everyone prefers to drink.

But there's definitely an element of pressure to it. I can just not drink it, of course. But people do get called out for it which is a kind of bullshit element of drinking culture. So let's not pretend it's as simple as "just don't drink it."

 

[vatstep]

Just when I thought we had run out of things to complain about

 

[Phendrana]

Just don't drink it. Say you have an early morning or something, jesus. Someone doing that would probably be happy to drink it themselves.

So many threads on this site baffle me.

 

[Flow]

Most of the time if you tell them you don't want the drink someone else will drink it.

 

[Deleted member 31817]

It's usually more just acquaintances trying to be chummy that do this. With close friends we tend to be more aware of what/how much everyone prefers to drink.

But there's definitely an element of pressure to it. I can just not drink it, of course. But people do get called out for it which is a kind of bullshit element of drinking culture. So let's not pretend it's as simple as "just don't drink it."

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Drinking culture/peer pressure sucks but that's different than the act of buying the drink, no?

 

[AcademicSaucer]

How is this a problem?

 

[Samanosuke Akechi]

Be an adult and tell them "no". Not that hard. You're overthinking it.

 

[Masterz1337]

Sounds like a good friend.

 

[Neoriceisgood]

Lmao I've had people do this to me a lot despite them knowing full well I don't drink alcohol,
I just always immediately slide it in front of the person next to me. >.>

 

[-JD-]

Sometimes I don't like being pressured into drinking, so I kinda get what op is saying. But I'm confident enough to just say no, so it's never really a problem.

 

[xxracerxx]

It's usually more just acquaintances trying to be chummy that do this. With close friends we tend to be more aware of what/how much everyone prefers to drink.

But there's definitely an element of pressure to it. I can just not drink it, of course. But people do get called out for it which is a kind of bullshit element of drinking culture. So let's not pretend it's as simple as "just don't drink it."

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If the people you are hanging out with call you out on it, tell them to fuck off. Seriously.

You are probably young (especially if the drinks are rum and cokes), but telling people no is something that you just learn how to do.

 

[Acorn]

Fucking hell, just don't drink it.

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Yep

 

[TangoTango]

I sometimes wonder how some people on this forum get through each day without going crazy cause they don't know how to be normal.

 

[Haze]

No it isn't garbage behavior. Just politely refuse the drink. It'd be completely different if they were actually pressuring you to drink it after, but even then it's just only kind of dickish.

 

[Haze]

WCYFBN?

Click to shrink...

 

[Calamari41]

Your friend will be fine hearing you say "no thanks man, I'm just about at my limit, but I really appreciate it"

Unless you're like a freshman in college hanging out with people who are just newly discovering alcohol and trying to front as badasses, nobody is going to pressure you to keep drinking

 

[Border]

If you are really too scared to confront the issue, then take a couple sips and dump it in a trash can when nobody is looking. If you are worried about someone seeing you do that, then take the drink to the toilet and dump it there.

I feel like these solutions should occur pretty naturally to a normal person.

 

[SuperBanana]

Oh my god, a friend buying you a drink out of their own money and wanting to socalise with you. Absolute scum!

 

[xxracerxx]

If you are really too scared to confront the issue, then take a couple sips and dump it in a trash can when nobody is looking. If you are worried about someone seeing you do that, then take the drink to the toilet and dump it there.

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This is so overboard. Just leave the drink be or give it to someone else at the table.

 

[Spaceroast]

No it isn't garbage behavior. Just politely refuse the drink. It'd be completely different if they were actually pressuring you to drink it after, but even then it's just only kind of dickish.

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Like I said, in my experience this tends to be the case. You'll hear things along the lines of "just drink it, you pussy" which is obviously a shit thing to say. There are a lot of people out there who seem to think "if I'm getting fucked up, I better drag everyone down with me."

Thread backfired, obviously. I should have titled it "being pressured to drink when you don't want to."

 

[Potterson]

Whoa, you don't like that specific someone huh?

 

[ResetGreyWolf]

You sound like a fun person to be around.

 

[xxracerxx]

Like I said, in my experience this tends to be the case. You'll hear things along the lines of "just drink it, you pussy" which is obviously a shit thing to say. There are a lot of people out there who seem to think "if I'm getting fucked up, I better drag everyone down with me."

Thread backfired, obviously. I should have titled it "being pressured to drink when you don't want to."

Click to shrink...

Your friends or acquaintances suck if they are doing that. Simple as that.

 

[Calamari41]

Like I said, in my experience this tends to be the case. You'll hear things along the lines of "just drink it, you pussy" which is obviously a shit thing to say. There are a lot of people out there who seem to think "if I'm getting fucked up, I better drag everyone down with me."

Thread backfired, obviously. I should have titled it "being pressured to drink when you don't want to."

Click to shrink...

Definitely update the OP with this info, the person calling you a pussy and trying to forcefully pressure you into drinking is not cool. The way you state it in your post, it comes across as you saying that just the act of buying you a drink is what is making you feel pressured to drink past your limit.

 

[Staf]

Fucking hell, just don't drink it.

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This. It's not that hard.

 

[Haze]

Like I said, in my experience this tends to be the case. You'll hear things along the lines of "just drink it, you pussy" which is obviously a shit thing to say. There are a lot of people out there who seem to think "if I'm getting fucked up, I better drag everyone down with me."

Thread backfired, obviously. I should have titled it "being pressured to drink when you don't want to."

Click to shrink...

Then that's kind of different and not really what I got from the OP. My impression was that the act of buying you the drink was then pressuring you. Yeah that's dickheaded if you're already near or at your level and friends are legitimately guilting or coercing you to drink more.

 

[Malverde]

Like I said, in my experience this tends to be the case. You'll hear things along the lines of "just drink it, you pussy" which is obviously a shit thing to say. There are a lot of people out there who seem to think "if I'm getting fucked up, I better drag everyone down with me."

Click to shrink...

I mean, the correct response to that is always a "fuck you." If someone doesn't want to take no for an answer then they are shitty. Also you should add this missing bit to the OP, I was ready to jump on the bandwagon too.

 

[Deleted member 1248]

I have the same issue, but with blowjobs. It's like ugh, I gotta get my dick sucked AGAIN? Then I'm like, alright, I guess, because I don't wanna be rude or seem ungrateful.

 

[Rainer516]

You need real problems besides your acquaintances buying the next round.

 

[Border]

This is so overboard. Just leave the drink be or give it to someone else at the table.

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Well yeah, that is obvious. But we are talking about someone that is too embarrassed or nervous to explain to anyone that they do not want to drink.

It isn't that hard to slow-roll or nurse a drink you don't want, so I don't really understand the dilemma in the first place. It makes sense maybe if you want to drink but somebody bought you a nasty drink, but if your only goal is to drink less then just sip it slowly over a few hours. If you want a different drink then yeah maybe you have to secretly dump the nasty drink, but otherwise just take it slow.

 

[saenima]

When i wanna buy someone drinks i ask what they want.