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Fucking family for you.

It’s Time To Go

It’s Time To Go

Member
Dec 2, 2017
20,589
I just want to complain a bit. I don't like to be rude or be mean to anyone so I try and be nice and polite to absolutely every body cos it don't cost nothing does it. But my older sister just really gets on my nerves. She never shuts up, turns every conversation about her, and just talks to me and acts like I'm a dog, or a piece of shit.

Every time I have a complaint or a problem with anything, she just says 'ha ha as if you have any problems' or 'oh shut up no one wants to hear your opinion on things' Every time I make an opinion on anything, she says 'ok, moving from that' and or completely over shouts me. She also expects me to wait on her hand and foot and then criticises me cos because nothing is up to her standards, and suggestions that she do things herself mainly just come with 'well you don't do much else do you' She also thinks nothing of sneezing in my face, or coughing in my face.

Part of my problem is other people being unhappy and making trouble just makes me feel awful and anxious, and I like people to be happy I'm also not very loud and don't like talking, or arguing either. So even when I attempt to say stuff to her, she either doesn't listen or just say 'is the dog barking?'

Rant over, I'm just feeling a little upset.
 
Richter1887

Richter1887

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
39,146
The best thing you can do is cut her off until she understand that it isn't acceptable. Do this if your parents doesn't help you.

Edit: I am under assumption you told your parents and told your sister to cut it off but she never did.
 
MasterYoshi

MasterYoshi

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,008
That title sounds like a movie I've seen before.

How old are you, OP? I'm asking for context, not in a degrading manner.
 
PlanetSmasher

PlanetSmasher

The Abominable Showman
Member
Oct 25, 2017
115,438
She sounds like a remarkably unpleasant and toxic person. Do you live with her? If you don't, I'd just suggest cutting her out of your life entirely.
 
OP
OP
It’s Time To Go

It’s Time To Go

Member
Dec 2, 2017
20,589
MasterYoshi said:
That title sounds like a movie I've seen before.

How old are you, OP? I'm asking for context, not in a degrading manner.
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I'm 25, she's two months off 32.
PlanetSmasher said:
She sounds like a remarkably unpleasant and toxic person. Do you live with her? If you don't, I'd just suggest cutting her out of your life entirely.
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She doesn't thankfully, she's down for the weekend.


And if I called her a cunt, my mum would be pissed off at me, and I don't like to piss anyone off. She has a really bad relationship with her siblings and sort of insists on a strange harmony between all of us and gets pissed off if any of us start an argument with the other. Although she does agree she talks to me very badly and does speak up for me when she's going on.
 
Hokahey

Hokahey

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
2,288
Either she's an asshole, or maybe you mope about and complain too much and she's sick of it.
 
vodalus

vodalus

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,220
CT
Sorry to hear that OP.

One way to deal with toxic people is to repel their toxicity with kindness. Failing that, condescension is also a powerful tool. Confronting her with actual truth is likely to be counterproductive given she sounds very twisted and cruel.
 
OP
OP
It’s Time To Go

It’s Time To Go

Member
Dec 2, 2017
20,589
Hokahey said:
Either she's an asshole, or maybe you mope about and complain too much and she's sick of it.
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I mean I'm probably not the cheeriest person, but she doesn't live here and doesn't see that, and she's been speaking to me like that since I was about 12 years old, I'm just a little more sensitive now I guess. Or she's just worn me down over time.
 
CallMeShaft

CallMeShaft

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
3,355
I'd tell her off next time if I were you. Sure, you'd probably rather not look like an asshole, but bottling up isn't the answer.
 
BarryFishFinger

BarryFishFinger

Member
Oct 27, 2017
7,460
Nevermind OP. Remember you can't pick your family, and just because they're family doesn't mean you have to like them or get along with them. If anyone else treated you like this, you simply wouldn't engage with them, but you feel like you have to make an effort when they're related to you.

But really you don't. She sounds like a right prick, so just ignore her and be done.
 
Nivash

Nivash

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,463
CormoranStrike said:
I'm 25, she's two months off 32.
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What? That kinda shit is maybe sort of acceptable at 15, barely tolerable at 22 and completely absurd for a grown-ass woman pushing middle age. What's her major malfunction? Is she like this with everyone or just with family? Either way is not OK, but I get curious.

You should by no means have to put up with that shit.
 
faceless

faceless

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
4,198
CormoranStrike said:
I'm 25, she's two months off 32.

She doesn't thankfully, she's down for the weekend.

And if I called her a cunt, my mum would be pissed off at me, and I don't like to piss anyone off. She has a really bad relationship with her siblings and sort of insists on a strange harmony between all of us and gets pissed off if any of us start an argument with the other. Although she does agree she talks to me very badly and does speak up for me when she's going on.
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you need to do it anyway.

and then if your mom is upset at you, tell your mom you have tried for years and it's one-sided and you are done trying since your sister never has.
 
Melkezadek

Melkezadek

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,168
Doug_Funnie.png


Joking aside, sorry to hear about that OP. Sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do and uses you as a mean to make herself feel superior. If you've got wit, turn her bullshit against her. It won't be fun for her anymore if you make her feel stupid in front of others. Roast her ass.

edit: Just saw the ages. Get in that ass, Larry.
 
OP
OP
It’s Time To Go

It’s Time To Go

Member
Dec 2, 2017
20,589
Nivash said:
What? That kinda shit is maybe sort of acceptable at 15, barely tolerable at 22 and completely absurd for a grown-ass woman pushing middle age. What's her major malfunction? Is she like this with everyone or just with family? Either way is not OK, but I get curious.

You should by no means have to put up with that shit.
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She's like that with her boyfriend too. She's not a super pleasant person to anyone, but not to the same extent.
 
Ogodei

Ogodei

One Winged Slayer
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
10,256
Coruscant
Do you not live together? If she doesn't live with you, just freeze her out except when your mother's around (for her sake. I do understand the anxiety about losing the only family you have over what, later in life, might seem trivial even if the conflict was real enough at the time).
 
Phunkydiabetic

Phunkydiabetic

Banned
May 3, 2018
390
CormoranStrike said:
I'm 25, she's two months off 32.


She doesn't thankfully, she's down for the weekend.


And if I called her a cunt, my mum would be pissed off at me, and I don't like to piss anyone off. She has a really bad relationship with her siblings and sort of insists on a strange harmony between all of us and gets pissed off if any of us start an argument with the other. Although she does agree she talks to me very badly and does speak up for me when she's going on.
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You don't necessarily have to call her a cunt but unfortunately people have a hard time taking criticism and her or others getting angry is probably going to happen. The most important thing is ultimately you are #1. You shouldn't really put up with being treated shitty. If things need to be said say them.
 

Deleted member 36086

User requested account closure
Banned
Dec 13, 2017
897
If you don't like the interactions you have with her, stop interacting with her. That's what I do. I don't enjoy being around my family so I never deal with them unless I have no choice.
 

Thisman

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,841
But we haven't even heard from the sisters point of view. Cussing from the first reply onwards.... yikes .
 
KNTomg

KNTomg

Member
May 18, 2018
266
Toxic people are toxic. Even within family limits. Call her out and act on it. If it persists, move out.
 
THE RABID MOOSE

THE RABID MOOSE

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,280
Literally, bring this up to her and do not backdown. I have had an older sibling sometime act like this, not to this extent but enough where it was severely irritating. Make her know that she makes you feel like shit, every little bit and call her out on it constantly. These kind of people only change or realize their behavior shitty is when they are constantly challenged on it, not for a sec back down
 
Xelan

Xelan

One Winged Slayer
Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
765
Your sister is very aware of your non confrontational attitude and uses you as a punching bag because of this, either confront her about it or avoid her altogether just don't reward her behavior with inaction.
 
PJV3

PJV3

Member
Oct 25, 2017
25,676
London
The sneezing and coughing in the face would be my breaking point, I can ignore the verbal stuff.
 
Adam_Roman

Adam_Roman

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,066
Start doing what she does to you, to her. And if she or your mom gives you grief for it, say you learned it from your older sister and walk away.
 
Dude Abides

Dude Abides

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
2,382
Tell her to fuck off and if your mom gives you shit tell her to fuck off too. Its either that or continue to be a doormat.
 
Verelios

Verelios

Member
Oct 26, 2017
14,876
Corven said:
Your sister is very aware of your non confrontational attitude and uses you as a punching bag because of this, either confront her about it or avoid her altogether just don't reward her behavior with inaction.
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I think this makes the most sense. And your mom covering for you when things get tough isn't a good look by any means. It'll just make her feel like she's being ganged up on (ironic, I know) so nothing's going to change until you actually confront her.
 

Deleted member 8463

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
6,261
Sometimes it takes a sibling fight to resolve these things. I'm not saying to have a physical fight but you should definitely make yourself heard. If she doesn't change then cut her out of your life. You can choose your family, despite the saying.
 
OP
OP
It’s Time To Go

It’s Time To Go

Member
Dec 2, 2017
20,589
SpitfireKit said:
Do you live with your mum, OP?
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Yes, and my younger sister. I do stuff like washing and cleaning and cooking for them too, but I don't mind that and there out longer than me and they're appreciative and etc etc.
Thisman said:
But we haven't even heard from the sisters point of view. Cussing from the first reply onwards.... yikes .
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I mean I'm not a perfect person, far from it, but I try and be nice to everyone, I do the lions share of cooking and cleaning, the things I've done for her this weekend is pretty long considering she's only been here since Friday afternoon, I don't think I do anything to justify her treating me like that.

Unless I do which is possible. But I do try.
 
jb1234

jb1234

Very low key
Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,224
You need to start setting boundaries with her. At the very least, break the "she expects me to wait on her hand and foot" cycle. Tell her to do her own shit.
 
Mr. Keith

Mr. Keith

Member
Oct 31, 2017
1,940
It sounds like she's still treating you like a little kid and getting away with it because she knows you won't confront her.

That might fly back then but you're both adults and equals now. Don't take shit like that.
 
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