Gaming with anxiety

[Burgess_101]

When I was younger, I used to be able to pick up pretty much any game and play it through start to finish. As I got older though (around age 16), I developed anxiety. Ever since then I have found it extremely difficult to play through games. I'll often buy games then I will have to put them down as I start to get anxious about playing the game badly. This includes getting stuck, dying a lot or otherwise finding myself in a position that would flare my anxious tendencies. I would just feel so much pressure to get through each game, even with games I am thoroughly enjoying. The most recent examples including RE2 and DMC. Even playing on easy difficulties doesn't help. The only games where this isn't so much of an issue is in Co-op games and the Yakuza series.

The Yakuza series has become a comfy home for me when it comes to gaming. I love playing them through, and I know what to expect. It makes it easy for me to fly through them. Similarly playing games such as Factorio or Paradox grand strategy titles.

I've tried taking a break from games, I have other hobbies that entertain me. I've tried just pushing through but the anxiety always gets me in the end.

Does anyone here with a similar disposition have tips on how to overcome this? It's killing me. I used to love playing games but now its become a real dread for me when a game I should enjoy comes out, but I know I will never finish it.

 

[NMFried]

I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder when I was 20, which put me off of ~most~ games for a couple of years. It happened around the release of Destiny, and I remember trying to play and being so damn anxious that I couldn't even handle the tutorial.

But this got better with time. In addition to things like medication and therapy, I trained myself to be comfortable again with high-stress gaming sessions. I started by diving headfirst into the 3DS library and playing a ton of simple, calming mobile games (Monument Valley, Threes, etc.). Now? Well I was able to finish Resident Evil 2 and Devil May Cry 5. Now I'm playing Sekiro!

This is going to be different for everybody, and sure, there are some days where I avoid certain types of games. (I saw Us last night, so I played Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn during the day so I didn't stress out too much or throw myself off).

Don't lose hope! There was a moment where I thought I would never enjoy games (or movies or any social situations) the same way again. But now it's all about setting the right stage and knowing your limits. I know that's a lot, but I hope this helps!

 

[Kaz Frankenstein]

I know how you feel, though to a lesser extent. I find Walking Simulators and Tell Tale style games are good, as progression is guaranteed.

 

[Art Vandelay]

Do NOT play Sekiro.

 

[Kolya]

Is it the specific fear of not being able to complete a game that triggers the anxiety? I have similar anxiety when I start a new game, but mine stems from my worry that I'll get bored and drop it before finishing it.

What I've been trying to do is to retrain the way I think about finishing a game; it doesn't really matter if you get to the end of one or not. And if you do get stuck? It's okay to look for the answer elsewhere, it doesn't diminish your experience that you need assistance to get past the hurdle. There's no easy answer but when you give in to the anxieties is when they become true (IMO).

 

[Burgess_101]

I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder when I was 20, which put me off of ~most~ games for a couple of years. It happened around the release of Destiny, and I remember trying to play and being so damn anxious that I couldn't even handle the tutorial.

But this got better with time. In addition to things like medication and therapy, I trained myself to be comfortable again with high-stress gaming sessions. I started by diving headfirst into the 3DS library and playing a ton of simple, calming mobile games (Monument Valley, Threes, etc.). Now? Well I was able to finish Resident Evil 2 and Devil May Cry 5. Now I'm playing Sekiro!

This is going to be different for everybody, and sure, there are some days where I avoid certain types of games. (I saw Us last night, so I played Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn during the day so I didn't stress out too much or throw myself off).

Don't lose hope! There was a moment where I thought I would never enjoy games (or movies or any social situations) the same way again. But now it's all about setting the right stage and knowing your limits. I know that's a lot, but I hope this helps!

Click to shrink...

It's nice to hear that you found a way to manage it. That's what I have been trying to do for a while now. RE2 I managed to get 90% of the way through the Leon campaign. The thought of having to do it again multiple times though eventually pushed me to stop playing it. Mr. X didn't help! I might have to go see my doctor again about this and see. At least for therapy, back when I had depression+anxiety I was on medication but it never really helped. I should maybe give some sort of therapy a go though. I never managed to arrange it. I live in the UK, and I got referred to therapy but they cancelled my appointment and I never had the nerve/time to start the process again.

I know how you feel, though to a lesser extent. I find Walking Simulators and Tell Tale style games are good, as progression is guaranteed.

Click to shrink...

I loved playing through the TT style games for that reason. Though there is only so many you can play before it all gets a bit samey.

Do NOT play Sekiro.

Click to shrink...

I've got Sekiro and whilst I do have that feeling. I'm going to try and play through it with my brother alternating goes. We both managed to coop our way through DS3 and Bloodborne. Which is why it was a shame that Sekiro doesn't include MP of any sort. I was really pleased with the addition of a training option in the main hub though. It can go a long way to alleviating my concerns with not being good enough. I don't mind bashing my head a against a wall for a few hours to get really comfortable with a game. I tried it with DMC V, as well. I spent more time in the Void then I did playing the actual game!

Is it the specific fear of not being able to complete a game that triggers the anxiety? I have similar anxiety when I start a new game, but mine stems from my worry that I'll get bored and drop it before finishing it.

What I've been trying to do is to retrain the way I think about finishing a game; it doesn't really matter if you get to the end of one or not. And if you do get stuck? It's okay to look for the answer elsewhere, it doesn't diminish your experience that you need assistance to get past the hurdle. There's no easy answer but when you give in to the anxieties is when they become true (IMO).

Click to shrink...

I don't mind not finishing a game, as long as its because I'd just had my fill. It's when I know I am enjoying the game but I know significant roadblocks will be in the way of me enjoying it that triggers the anxiety. I think I need to stop looking at walkthroughs, as I first thought they were helping me deal with the anxiety (knowing what to expect). But when I read something that seemed like a tall order, it would set me on edge before I even got to that point.

I'm trying my best to get over the issues I have, and I do make little steps forward every so often. It's just tiring. What was once a hobby for me has now become some sort of exercise in mental strength. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I wish it was as natural for me as it used to be.

 

[Poised Turtoise]

I used to be so anxious similar little nothings bothered me, but this really is anxiety over nothing. Had multiple suicide attempts under my belt before I admitted to myself that there was a serious problem; not saying you are suicidal but being that ungrounded from reality at least from my experience is dangerous

Take a break from games if it feels like a trigger of the problem, I had to take a break from screens and general dopamine loops/distractions I used to lean on while figuring my addictive behavior and physically crippling anxiety, go back when you are better imo. Whether games make you feel inadequate or not they are games and shouldnt flair up anxiety, either there is something wrong with your bodies health, you have a frail ego and dont like trying anything you are bad at, or somewhere in you, you feel your time at this point in life is better spent elsewhere (let's be real, for many of us gaming does not help with anxiety, terrible for your body and if played at night can fck up sleep cycles). Everything in life is hard if you let stress get out of hand, it will literally kill you. Ask yourself why you play games too? If it is the distraction you are used to for comfort might be hard but whatever it is imo take a break

 

[Mugy]

This happens with me too, since i live in Venezuela. I'm not sure if is anxiety (maybe posting here will me help me identifying my problem), but for some reason i can't play more of 15 minutes of any game without, either pausing the game, or straight it closing it. Last time i played something longer than that, was FFXV.

This is worse with fighting games (my favorite genre). As soon as i need to get into the lab to practice some basic combos, i just can't do it. It wasn't like that back when Ultimate Marvel .vs Capcom 3 came out. It could be practicing the same synergy BnB with the same team for hours, and i literally did.

 

[Listai]

I suffer from anxiety but games have always worked as a bit of a crutch for me as they require all of my attention they help with those intruding anxious thoughts, but on the flip-side they also help me to ignore some larger issues that I should probably be taking care of.

 

[Dary]

Oddly enough, video games actually provide a relief from anxiety for me, even moreso than the usual prescribed methods such as meditation.

 

[Burgess_101]

I used to be so anxious similar little nothings bothered me, but this really is anxiety over nothing. Had multiple suicide attempts under my belt before I admitted to myself that there was a serious problem; not saying you are suicidal but being that ungrounded from reality at least from my experience is dangerous

Take a break from games if it feels like a trigger of the problem, I had to take a break from screens and general dopamine loops/distractions I used to lean on while figuring my addictive behavior and physically crippling anxiety, go back when you are better imo. Whether games make you feel inadequate or not they are games and shouldnt flair up anxiety, either there is something wrong with your bodies health, you have a frail ego and dont like trying anything you are bad at, or somewhere in you, you feel your time at this point in life is better spent elsewhere (let's be real, for many of us gaming does not help with anxiety, terrible for your body and if played at night can fck up sleep cycles). Everything in life is hard if you let stress get out of hand, it will literally kill you. Ask yourself why you play games too? If it is the distraction you are used to for comfort might be hard but whatever it is imo take a break

Click to shrink...

I've never played games to excess, even when I was younger. I definitely stick to short bursts nowadays. Of course, it's difficult (if not impossible) to explain my entire mental health history. I used to be a lot worse, but I'm way better now. Best i've ever been. The anxiety feels like a fragment thats clung to me despite getting over my major mental health issues. I don't mind being bad at games, it's not really an issue. I think it's just when I enjoy a game so much, but I know I will never finish it is what really saddens me. It's a difficult loop to break out of, but one I am determined to do so. Even just getting it out here is valuable.

I've gone long stretches of time not playing games and it never helped. I just feel like I am not ready to give up playing games, at least not yet.

This happens with me too, since i live in Venezuela. I'm not sure if is anxiety (maybe posting here will me help me identifying my problem), but for some reason i can't play more of 15 minutes of any game without, either pausing the game, or straight it closing it. Last time i played something longer than that, was FFXV.

This is worse with fighting games (my favorite genre). As soon as i need to get into the lab to practice some basic combos, i just can't do it. It wasn't like that back when Ultimate Marvel .vs Capcom 3 came out. It could be practicing the same synergy BnB with the same team for hours, and i literally did.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, that sounds a lot like me. It's hard to quantify exactly. I especially relate to your first paragraph. I've done the exact thing multiple times. My Steam library is proof of that.

 

[Kolya]

I don't mind not finishing a game, as long as its because I'd just had my fill. It's when I know I am enjoying the game but I know significant roadblocks will be in the way of me enjoying it that triggers the anxiety. I think I need to stop looking at walkthroughs, as I first thought they were helping me deal with the anxiety (knowing what to expect). But when I read something that seemed like a tall order, it would set me on edge before I even got to that point.

I'm trying my best to get over the issues I have, and I do make little steps forward every so often. It's just tiring. What was once a hobby for me has now become some sort of exercise in mental strength. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I wish it was as natural for me as it used to be.

Click to shrink...

I think less looking at what is to come is definitely the right action to take. I know it's not easy to fix this problem, I've had anxiety literally my entire life and it isn't going to go away. My advice would be to try and keep an open mind when playing. Something that may seem hard from what you've read may not be in reality. Chances are if you're not aware of any 'difficult' sections then those sections will not be difficult when you get to them as they'll have no significance to you. For when you do legitimately get blocked by the game, maybe forcing yourself to get past the hurdle before you stop playing may help? I know that if I get stuck on a bit or annoyed (and so on) and stop playing before I beat it, I'll likely never go back to the game.

 

[Burgess_101]

I think less looking at what is to come is definitely the right action to take. I know it's not easy to fix this problem, I've had anxiety literally my entire life and it isn't going to go away. My advice would be to try and keep an open mind when playing. Something that may seem hard from what you've read may not be in reality. Chances are if you're not aware of any 'difficult' sections then those sections will not be difficult when you get to them as they'll have no significance to you. For when you do legitimately get blocked by the game, maybe forcing yourself to get past the hurdle before you stop playing may help? I know that if I get stuck on a bit or annoyed (and so on) and stop playing before I beat it, I'll likely never go back to the game.

Click to shrink...

This is something I have been working on recently actually. When I hit a roadblock, to not give up (within moderation of course). First boss in DMC V comes to mind. I was determined to not give up, and eventually I got the hang of it and got past it, similar situation with the second boss. I've not gone back to it since, but at least I didn't just give up when the going got tough, which is encouraging.

I started Sekiro yesterday, without looking at basically anything for the game. And I found myself able to enjoy it a lot more. I definitely think it's something I have to continue doing going forward. I never actually realised it until now, so thanks for bringing it up!

 

[Woffls]

My anxiety around gaming is to do with extracting value from the experience. I loathed every minute of AC Origins, but I dragged my way through with a constant feeling of being obliged to enjoy it due to critical reception.

In the end I got nothing from the experience - except a lesson, perhaps: there really is no value in playing a game through obligation. If you feel more comfortable playing an old favourite, then do so.

Trying to keep up with new releases under the pretence that they have an implicit value is a unhealthy. Don't feel compelled towards those experiences or pressured by all the talk about them; trust your instincts.

 

[ALIENSUPERSTAR]

yeah i relate to this. i convince myself i suck at whatever game i'm playing as soon as i start to do things less than perfectly and i end up actually playing worse. sometimes much worse. some days are worse than others and a lot of times if i pick up the game another day i play a lot better

 

[Kolya]

This is something I have been working on recently actually. When I hit a roadblock, to not give up (within moderation of course). First boss in DMC V comes to mind. I was determined to not give up, and eventually I got the hang of it and got past it, similar situation with the second boss. I've not gone back to it since, but at least I didn't just give up when the going got tough, which is encouraging.

I started Sekiro yesterday, without looking at basically anything for the game. And I found myself able to enjoy it a lot more. I definitely think it's something I have to continue doing going forward. I never actually realised it until now, so thanks for bringing it up!

Click to shrink...

Hey, if any of my gibberish helped in any way then I am more than happy for that. I also started Sekiro and I'm aware going in it's something I'll probably never finish but I am greatly enjoying chipping away and I try and make a point of making *some* progress, no matter how small, before stopping. It's a small thing but I feel it works.

 

[Rosebud]

I have anxiety and it's terrible. Sometimes I'm afraid of continue the main quest out of fear of being stucked.

That's why I'm playing more on PC lately, it has trainers. Just knowing that I have the option to modify something in the game is relaxing. If you have a gaming PC try WeMod.

 

[Kyoufu]

Do NOT play Sekiro.

Click to shrink...

Yup, playing Sekiro with anxiety just makes the game harder than it already is. :(

 

[Timeaisis]

Kind of. I have a real problem with playing a game "wrong". With many games it's hard to tell if you are legitimately playing wrong vs. just missing something obvious (or not so obvious). This leads to me questioning not only if I'm actually any good at a game but also if I missed something important, which both lead to anxiety.

Games can avoid this by being clear or if they are being obtuse be clear in their intention to be obtuse, but most games don't do this because it kills immersion. At the end of the day my player experience is more important than immersion. Open world games have this problem a lot.

 

[Burgess_101]

My anxiety around gaming is to do with extracting value from the experience. I loathed every minute of AC Origins, but I dragged my way through with a constant feeling of being obliged to enjoy it due to critical reception.

In the end I got nothing from the experience - except a lesson, perhaps: there really is no value in playing a game through obligation. If you feel more comfortable playing an old favourite, then do so.

Trying to keep up with new releases under the pretence that they have an implicit value is a unhealthy. Don't feel compelled towards those experiences or pressured by all the talk about them; trust your instincts.

Click to shrink...

I know the games that I *should* like, so I've never really been one to just play the latest critical success. The issues stems from knowing I like the game, but can't play it. Like some weird A Clockwork Orange type thing.

yeah i relate to this. i convince myself i suck at whatever game i'm playing as soon as i start to do things less than perfectly and i end up actually playing worse. sometimes much worse. some days are worse than others and a lot of times if i pick up the game another day i play a lot better

Click to shrink...

Yeah I get that a lot as well, especially with something like DMC with the style meter.

Hey, if any of my gibberish helped in any way then I am more than happy for that. I also started Sekiro and I'm aware going in it's something I'll probably never finish but I am greatly enjoying chipping away and I try and make a point of making *some* progress, no matter how small, before stopping. It's a small thing but I feel it works.

Click to shrink...

The statues (which seems to be a lot more liberally placed than the Souls games) have acted as nice marker for progress for me. Here's hoping we can at both at least get somewhat through the game!

 

[Deleted member 4532]

This is why I mostly play visual novels and RPGs. Other games stress me out a lot.

 

[Mugy]

I have anxiety and it's terrible. Sometimes I'm afraid of continue the main quest out of fear of being stucked.

That's why I'm playing more on PC lately, it has trainers. Just knowing that I have the option to modify something in the game is relaxing. If you have a gaming PC try WeMod.

Click to shrink...

I'm kinda in the same place with this too. I'm playing DMC V right now and seeing at Dante's move set its making me worried. Which is weird, because I actually got Platinum in all the previous DMC games except 4 (Special Edition) on the HD Collection, but for some reason i just can't bring myself to do it with DMC V. Its intimidating for me now, and i don't know why

 

[Herbz]

I have this problem too. Used to be able to play games np when I was younger. Nowaday I sometimes can't cuz of anxiety and over-analyzing/over-thinking.

 

[Nitori]

I have lots of anxiety about playing games in general. It takes a lot of effort for me to start playing one. I'm usually okay once I start playing.

I keep feeling like it's wrong for me to do things I enjoy.

 

[Kevin360]

The first game I ever felt this with was Bloodborne.

But I pushed through and watched some let's plays, and eventually beat most of it, minus one or two DLC bosses. The guides and videos helped me tremendously to still enjoy what would have otherwise been a bust purchase.

Even felt it somewhat with Hollow Knight, and dropped it for several months (after putting in 10 ish hours) before jumping back into it last week and playing it for another 20 hours.

This doesn't manifest itself in any crazy crippling ways in real life, so it's kind of weird how nervous I could get with video games. Having played them most of my life, and now at almost 30 being so hesitant to buy Sekiro because I remember how Bloodborne made me feel despite loving it.

 

[Blackbird]

The first Dark Souls helped me a lot with this, also waiting for Resi 7 i went back and tried the classics even while being nervous about it.

I think this goes up and down with time, obviously. Right now i'm very excited yet extremely afraid of Sekiro, which i haven't felt since before playing those examples above.

Give yourself time, get comfortable about knowing more of these games and its communities. Going slowly builds confidence and a sense of being part of something bigger that won't stop because of your mistakes, it all goes back around.

All the best wishes OP, i feel you.