Getting Your Partner Interested in Gaming

[C.Mongler]

I am interested in any techniques in this area, will be following this. The only game my SO and I played together to completion was Until Dawn. She loves horror movies, and considering the game is basically an interactive horror movie with a low difficulty barrier, we were able to sit down and play through it. She'll occasionally challenge me to fighting games (Soul Calibur and Mortal Kombat are her favorites), and that usually ends poorly, with me clobbering her and her becoming quickly frustrated. I try my best to tone down my basic knowledge of game mechanics to give her a fair shot, but short of literally just not playing (she also refuses to let me turn on handicaps for some reason), it's hard for me to tone it down enough to be on the similar level as someone who barely ever plays games. Other games we've tried, she usually will die pretty quickly and deem the game too hard or complicated and give up within the first ten minutes. I bought the Crash trilogy when that came out, as she expressed a huge nostalgia for the series from when she was a kid, but she gave up on playing after the second level (I had to play through the first level for her).

So yeah, I've mostly given up on it at this point in our relationship, but I still wish there was some way to spark at least a casual interest. I just want a co-op buddy man.

 

[roboleon]

Show her how far video games have come since Super Mario Bros 3

 

[Scaught]

I am interested in any techniques in this area, will be following this. The only game my SO and I played together to completion was Until Dawn. She loves horror movies, and considering the game is basically an interactive horror movie with a low difficulty barrier, we were able to sit down and play through it. She'll occasionally challenge me to fighting games (Soul Calibur and Mortal Kombat are her favorites), and that usually ends poorly, with me clobbering her and her becoming quickly frustrated. I try my best to tone down my basic knowledge of game mechanics to give her a fair shot, but short of literally just not playing (she also refuses to let me turn on handicaps for some reason), it's hard for me to tone it down enough to be on the similar level as someone who barely ever plays games. Other games we've tried, she usually will die pretty quickly and deem the game too hard or complicated and give up within the first ten minutes. I bought the Crash trilogy when that came out, as she expressed a huge nostalgia for the series from when she was a kid, but she gave up on playing after the second level (I had to play through the first level for her).

So yeah, I've mostly given up on it at this point in our relationship, but I still wish there was some way to spark at least a casual interest. I just want a co-op buddy man.

Click to shrink...

Diablo 3 is pretty easy. Hack and slash is cathartic and if it's too easy you can pick a class you've never tried before. She likes Diablo more than I do now.

 

[Funkallero]

My wife doesn't have any interest in gaming but recently Cuphead visuals and sounds caught her attention. Felt like a small victory...

 

[Blablurn]

I bought a Switch some days ago.

She playing Mario right now.

Didnt do anything.

The magic of Nintendo

 

[chandoog]

My wife is not interested in action/shooter type games at all .. but she loves siting with me and playing choice based story games, for those cases I do the "playing" part and she makes the decisions since she's not really a gamer-per-say.

Games like Life is Strange, Until Dawn etc are her favorites and we often replay them (specifically Until Dawn, to try and either save or kill specific characters). She also likes sitting in on scary games like Outlast, Whistleblower and Outlast 2 and also other games which primarily focus on telling a story like Firewatch and recently she really like Edith Finch .. both for the story and the crazy visual style of the game.

 

[Deleted member 279]

I think it's a bit selfish when guys try to pressure their SO's into gaming... They'd gravitate towards it naturally if they felt like it.

I could tell you countless stories of enthusiasts gifting their SO a fully built gaming PC for birthdays.

If your SO is actually down for it organically, thats a different story. That could be cool. Especially a game like Divinity: Original Sin 2.

Couple years ago me and mine played through Telltale's Walking Dead Season 1. She liked it a lot. She made the choices while I held the controller. It was fun!

 

[Maturin]

My wife and I share plenty of interests. But we also have interests we don't share. I think if I was younger I'd be keen for her to join me in gaming. But at my age I'm happy with both have fun things we can do that don't need each other.

My wife isn't one of those stereotype game hating spouses, who view it as childish. She's just not interested in games. When we met I was still working full time in games journalism, and it was my job more than a hobby. So when we were together I was avoiding gaming, rather than trying to share it with her.

As I said in my initial post in the thread, my first (I was widowed) wife was a gamer. I remember when she showed me how she could complete Sonic 1 in a stupid short time finding all the secrets. At the age I was then this was perhaps the most erotic thing I had ever seen!!! But now as I said, I'm not really a videogaming evangelist, I'm more of a gaming hermit!

 

[Ballistik]

So what I gather from this thread is... get a Switch and play Mario Kart with her.

 

[HStallion]

 

[Fireblend]

My gf plays videogames just as much as I do, has her own Switch, is playing Ni no Kuni in preparation for the second one next year, etc. We also share an interest in retro gaming and lately she's been the one buying the most retro consoles and games, even found a CRT TV to play our games on :P

She's the best.

 

[galactic_punt]

My wife somehow managed to pick up gaming through Assassin's Creed 2. The simple gameplay coupled with the mess that is ACs layout ended up working really well. Now she plays almost everything outside of the faster paced FPS (motion issues) and horror games. Worst hurdle to hop over was the tendency to backseat game, still creeps in from time to time but all is gucci now.

 

[Brandson]

My wife likes the Sims and Civilization. I've been getting the latest versions of both for her for a while now. She has recently started playing some Nintendo games mainly because our oldest child is old enough to play now and wants us to play with him. Pikmin 3 is a fav there. The kids and her demanded that I play it all the way through for them so they could watch. She has started her own game now finally, as it's a little bit daunting at first. She has also been slowly working through Final Fantasy VI on my Vita. Anything violent is a no-go, which is fine with me anyway. No way would she go out of her way to research or source any titles though. Supplying gaming for the family is squarely my responsibility.

 

[Berordn]

In my last relationship with a non-gamer, I tried getting him into SP games and it just didn't work out for him that way which is fine (even though he seemed to want to be able to get into it). We had a blast playing co-op games. The Switch was fairly new so we were big on Snipperclips and Bomberman co-op, and Puyo Puyo Tetris could make for a few good laughs.

 

[Bjones]

Don't do it lol.. there is no real win there.

Either they love it and take up all your gaming time, or they think that one part of you they over look is even dumber than before ... or have fun for 10 mins and then say meh and go about as before.

I do think guys specifically have this thought that if you can get your other into gaming that they will just sit and watch you play a game. Which just isn't going to happen.

 

[Phantom]

I think complex games are difficult to get into. Though I've successfully initiated my SO to Phantasy Star Online Ep I&II offline lately. It just takes time and dedication.

Cooperative games work best in my experience. But we also enjoyed Diablo I through LAN.

 

[The Joker]

I've tried with mine, but she got really frustrated. After some time she took interest in gaming as something she could watch. She watched me play the whole Uncharted 1, and when that was finished, I started Uncharted 2, and she enjoyed that one as well. When I started playing UC3, she had lost interest, until I got Portal 2. I asked her if she wanted to try, so that we could play coop, and it clicked instantly, after some fiddling with the controllers, she managed to keep up! She even played through the reboot of Rayman. This is the only games (outside of Monopoly) I've got her to play. She also enjoyed watching The Evil Within and Until Dawn, but since then, she hasn't really cared.

 

[SpaceRipperStingyEyes]

I do the opposite sometimes, kinda deter her from games. I consume enough games media/ talk about them enough with friends. I love being able to connect with her without games being involved it's refreshing.

 

[JeremyCraves_Snow]

My girlfriend and I started with Borderlands 2. Figured a game where we work together and was possible to carry her while she got the hang of controls. She plays a lot of games solo now but we still love a good co-op game.

 

[MRYEAH]

My GF walked in my house picked up my rock band guitar moved the mic next to her and said how often can we play
One week into dating she's hilarious
She never owned a console outside a Russian equivalent to the SNES
She has embraced both my famiies passions
Sports and video games
Rock band is her favorite Mario Kart second then Overcooked probably after that
But currently she is watching me play Mario Odyssey and making fun of AC Orgins (there's no story she says)
She tried Rise of tomb raider and didn't like the controls
She has no interest in anything gun based
2 weekends ago she got into Thimbleweed Park
I learned let her pick from the digital library and only suggest what type of game it is
Far more enjoyable for her
I was curious why she was reluctant about certain games
I found out in a previous relationship that was toxic
video games were an issue that she was isolated while they played and ignored
I've made that clear this won't be a problem for us and she is really becoming excited to try new game types on weekends as part of her free time

 

[Bosh]

There are games for everyone but if your SO isn't into gaming as a whole just show her some very brief (2 minutes or less ) snippits of games they might enjoy.

What I always do is after watching a conference (right now Paris game week) I show a few reveal trailers to her. If she bites I buy the game.

Also if you get a game and they are not into it don't force them to complete it just because you bought it. Everyone has a style of game they like to play and when you find one then buy those games. You might not be totally into every single one but any game is enjoyable with two.

Some that work well are the Lego series, puyo puyo Tetris , Laura Croft temple of Osiris. These are all games which limit the need to use a stick for the camera which makes it one less control to worry about. They also all have fewer controls to memorize making it easier to get into the game quicker. If you have a Switch Mario kart has a feature where you can make it so player 2 doesn't fall off the track which makes getting into the game for them easier as well.

 

[KodaRuss]

Overcooked, Mario Kart 8 and Mario Odyssey have gotten my wife playing a little bit. More local coop games are needed in my opinion. I love Overcooked, simple yet difficult game.

 

[pokeystaples]

My wife loves playing games, but we play different kinds of games so sometimes we just sit together and play our respective handhelds and sometimes we are both trying to hog the television because we both purchased something new.

I have found that it is easier for my partners to enjoy games that can be easily communicated. If they are not a person who regularly plays games and you present them with a game that uses every single button on the controller, sometimes at the same time, you are already starting in the negative. If the story involves you taking 45 minutes to explain the background it might be harder for your partner to take interest.

I sometimes feel like questions like these are really asking, "How do I convince my partner to like games I like and play them with me?" I wish there were a magic phrase, but it mainly amounts to asking what kinds of games they might be interested in, lots of trial and error and you being willing to play whatever your partner is down to play.

 

[Noctis]

Wouldn't try, never will. It is okay for a couple to like different things.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, that's my motto as well. Not interesting in all that jazz.

Talking from previous experiences since I'm single at the moment, I never played whenever my girl was around or stayed over. Not out of shame or anything it's just that i'm more "preoccupied" with other pressing matters wink wink.. I do find it rude playing in front of someone who doesn't enjoy gaming who has any remote interest.

Whenever I play is by myself in peace.

 

[Deleted member 4346]

My wife is a gamer! That's something special to our marriage. When we first started dating, she and I played World of Warcraft together. She had played casually in a previous relationship, but we played together every single night, then got into raiding together. Then, when we got bored of Cataclysm, I got her started in Final Fantasy XI when she moved in with me, and she fell in love with the game (and the series). We did endgame there for 4-5 years. For her, gaming is different than it is for me, with different goals. I like to, if possible, accomplish something concrete every time I play. And I love broad sweeping goals, planning, completionism, etc. She's not like that. It's harder to motivate her to focus, she just wants to play and chill. Also, we never do competitive content, always coop. Competitive gets ugly, lol.

Games that we've played and enjoyed together- Final Fantasy XI WotG/Adoulin/RoV, Borderlands series, Diablo 3, World of Warcraft Cata and Legion, Star Wars: the Old Republic, Guild Wars 2, Final Fantasy XIV 1.0 to SB, The Division, The Witcher 2/3, FFXIII, and now she's in love with Destiny 2.

Games that she likes solo- Fallout 4, Final Fantasy XIII, Minecraft, Flower, Journey, Star Wars Battlefront

Games that she hates- Dark Souls and Bloodborne, Overwatch, most twitch FPSes

It's good to share a hobby. We share other hobbies too, and we have separate things that we enjoy, to balance it out. It does get a bit expensive because I upgrade both of our gaming rigs every 2-3 years. And it's not without its pitfalls. She'll go stretches where she won't play with me at all, but instead spends her free time on terrible mobile games. I've learned to be patient with that. For me, I don't care for mobile gaming, but for her it scratches the same itch as bigger games.

 

[Possumowner]

I'm lucky my wife loves gaming,she does play a lot on mobile but she definitely likes a good coop game with me,or she beats me up with any fighter

 

[tiesto]

I recently entered a new relationship with someone with very little experience in gaming or its language. I showed her a few games I've been playing (Cuphead, Ys 8) and had her peruse the SNES Classic, where she played a bit of SMW, LttP, and FF6. Seems like she's interested in exploring further, which is exciting. She also doesn't mind that I have 1000+ games.

 

[Phellps]

My boyfriend is into games as well, and we often enjoy games together. But he gets bored easily, so sometimes he won't feel like playing the game anymore if it's long. Like, we have yet to finish the second expansion of Destiny, Diablo 3 and Borderlands 2.

It makes me fucking livid, tbh.

 

[Arrakis]

i got my wife to play rock band and just dance , and the first episode of telltale's game of thrones because she liked the show that's about it , she has no real interest in gaming

 

[Ossom]

My wife is not really interested in games in general and so I don't try to get her into playing anything too heavy. She enjoys things that are very story rich. That means any TellTale game or things like Life is Strange.

She will join in for group game sessions sometimes, with games like Mario Kart and Jackbox.

She will never be a gamer like I am, but that's fine. I tend to play and she will sit with me and read. She will sometimes ask what I'm playing and listen to me talk about it. She will then go of any read up on the story in her own time. She will then ask me periodically where I am to see what I know to get my view on it. I find that it is a nice way that we can chat about games and something that she decided to do without my suggestion.

 

[eutrophied]

right when i started getting close with my b-friend a couple years ago he admitted to me, rather ashamedly for whatever reason, that he was really into city builders - the simcity series in particular - and had been discouraged by the misfirings of simcity 2013. he was interested in trying cities: skylines but was self-conscious about getting back into it. as this was the first inclination he gave me about being into hobbyist video games at all, i was immediately invested in the narrative of reinstating a childhood passion and rallied him to give it a shot. he's now got like, 1000+ hours in the game. super into the whole youtube cities community too. it's been a joy to watch.

i've had to reconcile that he's not into anything with violence or really action-y gameplay. watched me play bayonetta a couple months back and asked, "oh, is this really all you do?" and it honestly almost broke my heart. i've been trying to open him up to other sim-adjacent games. i gifted him stardew last year on a whim and he ended up loving it. i haven't had any inspired picks since then.

 

[bahorel]

All the men I've gone out with seem to be too cool for games. How hard is it to find a dude to play games with? :/ it shouldn't be hard but somehow it is.

 

[scottbeowulf]

My wife won't play games. I think because she's not that good at them it really frustrates her, and after a long day working the last thing she wants is to get pissed off learning something new like gaming. BUT, she does really like watching certain games. Cinematic ones like Uncharted, Until Dawn, bits of GTA, etc. So even though she won't really play, she will sit down, put on some headphones, and watch me play for hours sometimes. Just being able to share some great gaming experiences is great.

 

[cj_iwakura]

My ex watched me play Drakengard 3 because she liked Zero.

 

[Wolfgav]

All the men I've gone out with seem to be too cool for games. How hard is it to find a dude to play games with? :/ it shouldn't be hard but somehow it is.

Click to shrink...

Maybe they are worried about you not liking them if they bring up gaming right away.

 

[tuta]

I tried with the latest Guitar Hero. She was curious about it and enjoyed playing on easy but that didnt last long. I want to try again.

 

[pixeldreams]

You absolutely cannot force it, if they aren't into it, they aren't into it. My wife sticks to a handful of games and has no issue playing them over and over again, she probably has finished Mario 3 more than 50 times at this point.

Now that I own a Switch we have been playing MK8D a lot which she really enjoys, and plans on giving Odyssey a try as well. That being said she does enjoy watching some games (Fallout, Uncharted, TLOU) that she has zero interest in ever playing herself.

 

[BlueBikinis]

My wife rarely plays games, but recently has put 100 hours into stardew valley lol. Can't even get her attention when she is playing it.

 

[mindatlarge]

Currently single but I have a friend who was desperately trying to get his girlfriend, who is my best friend, to play games with him. He would text me asking me to tell his gf to play with him, haha. Anyways, turns out he was trying to get her into Call of Duty and whatnot which she absolutely hates. I recommended some games I thought she might like, Overcooked and Puyo Puyo Tetris, since they owned a PS4 and I knew her taste in mobile games. Though he didn't have any interest in those games, I made the point that if he wants her to play games with him, he may have to compromise, play some games she enjoys, then maybe she'll come around to the games he likes as well. Seems like my advice worked, as they both play games regularly together now.

 

[crontabulation]

There's a lack of good co op games even with useful sites with co Optimus . Nintendo games are the only ones me and my gf play together really.

I bought Stardew Valley for my gf tho ... seriously regret it she is addicted like crazy !

 

[Seijuro]

I tried to get my gf into games, but she isn't really a fan. Only games she likes watching my play are Destiny 1/2 and GTA, where she likes to take over the driving sections to drive around LA for a bit, or ride the sparrow from a to b, and that's it.

First game I gave her to play was PT without telling her what the game's about. After 3 min she was screaming in terror and threw the controller in panic. No horror games anymore for her.

 

[xxracerxx]

My wife will play the occasional game and when she does, she goes all in on them. Here are some of the games she has completed (and usually at 100%):

• Red Dead Redemption / Undead Nightmare
• Jak & Daxter (1st one only)
• SSX series (PS2 only)
• Starfox Adventures
• Psychonauts
• Peggle 1&2
• Letter Quest

I never really know what will catch her fancy.

 

[noggenFogged]

It's honestly not about getting them into gaming as much as it is sharing experiences with them. My fiancée knew I was a big gamer when we first stated dating, and didn't really care too much about it. But over time, we both tried sharing some of each other's interests, just to connect more. She may not sit down and play an FPS with me, but she enjoys a good story as much as the next person and will keep tabs of what is happening in a game if she isn't actively paying attention. Twitch ended up being a good medium for us; she could watch a bit of gaming with me, with a bit of extra personality added in, and not have to pay attention all of the time. She sat and worked on other projects around me for the entirety of Persona 5 and really got into it, same with the new South Park. You shouldn't force it, but I also don't think you should try to exclude them from it.

 

[xxracerxx]

Twitch ended up being a good medium for us; she could watch a bit of gaming with me, with a bit of extra personality added in, and not have to pay attention all of the time.

Click to shrink...

I am slightly confused, are you both participating in a stream or are you just watching streams together?

 

[Keltic]

This.... Game time is my time....

Click to shrink...

I'll go with these folks, my time is mine, don't get a lot of it but it's nice to have separate interests.

 

[Shigo_Naito]

Both the wife and I love gaming its just finding time, that is the problem. For Switch games we completed overcooked and are currently playing Fire Emblem Warriors. Have to say we would be enjoying FEW more if they would have had co op with multiple Switch systems.

 

[Jack Frost]

My wife will only play Mario Odyssey. I tried to teach her others but she never likes anything, so I don't force it.

 

[Deleted member 3010]

My GF is totally out of the Video Game hobby, there's not much to do with her.

Sometimes she likes to watch me, like with Odyssey recently.

The only game I managed to have her play with me and actually have fun was Snipperclips, that's why I plan on buying Snipperclip Plus. :P

 

[Bashful Trey]

My girlfriend makes an effort to get into the things I am passionate about. But it's a pretty limited scope of what actually hooks her. She loves Bloodborne, Dark Souls, Super Mario Odyssey, BotW, and Undertale. She doesn't care for anime games, or games with too much chit-chat. (Excluding Undertale because it's funny.)

She thought she'd dig Mass Effect, but she just ended up on her phone. She isn't interested in Nier or Persona. FPSs are too difficult to follow.

 

[SweetBellic]

I'd love my SO to be interested in gaming to the extent that I can discuss games and gaming news with her without boring her to tears... But I'd hate for it to get to a point where we're fighting over the controller or feel obligated to play local multiplayer. Actual gaming is me time.