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Has anyone ever been obsessed with you?

Strangelove_77

Strangelove_77

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
13,392
I ask because I have this friend who keeps texting me on Facebook. She tells about how she misses me and wants to meet up.
I've know her since high school and at one point we were best friends. We tried to turn that into a relationship back then but it just didn't work out. I wanted nothing to do with it after how things turned out.
But she still texts me about how she misses me. I've tried to talk to her about leaving me alone and she says she will but never goes through with it. I just ignore her now but she still texts me every once in a while.

Anyone here go through this sort of thing before?
 
Night Terror

Night Terror

Member
Feb 1, 2018
751
I've been on the other side of the equation. Truth is, it never goes well.

Be very concise and direct that you have no interest at all and cut all contact. I'm being serious.
 
Okabe

Okabe

Is Sometimes A Good Bean
Member
Aug 24, 2018
19,927
I'd honestly recommend just cutting her off because if you give her a reply that's enough to keep her coming back and she may even feel like she's being strung along if she doesn't get the point.
 
Marossi

Marossi

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,997
Yeah, this guy I've never met but had friends in common on Instagram kept talking to me for a couple months. Turns out he wanted me to join an MLM, I even made a thread on this.
 

____

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,734
Miami, FL
Yes three times and it's creepy af tbh. I don't like to be acknowledged by people at all but that obsession shit drives me nuts.
 
OP
OP
Strangelove_77

Strangelove_77

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
13,392
The thing that annoys me the most is that I'm just some regular dude. There's nothing about me to obsess over. I'm not special in any way.
 
JoRu

JoRu

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,791
I've had a few. One was a pretty normal, "healthy" obsession that passed fairly quickly after me telling her I wasn't interested.

I've had one which was more creepy and bothersome, though. After rejecting her it was fine for a while. But then she started to imply that I was lying to her about things I've said, for example me saying that I was not in love with anyone else either when she had asked that. She's kept repeatedly asking me if I've "changed my mind" since then, and in other ways tried to guilt trip me into thinking I've lied or done something wrong so that I would reconsider. It's calmed down now, but the obsessiveness and stalking from her side was fucking atrocious for a while.
 
GSG

GSG

Member
Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,051
Yeah, back when I was in college. I was at a friend's place for a party, but I was only there for 10-15 mins since I had to be somewhere else that night. There was a girl at the party that I introduced myself and talked to for 5 seconds at the most. When I got back home later that night, I received a Facebook friend request from her and just accepted it and thought nothing of it. The next morning, I woke up to my Facebook inbox flooded with messages from her, which was beyond fucking weird. I also stupidly had my number on Facebook, so she started texting me and repeatedly calling me on my phone when I didn't respond to her messages. I had to straight up tell her that I wasn't interested, which I felt bad about since I didn't want to cause anyone emotional pain for whatever reason.
 
data west

data west

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,013
There's a dude in wrassleera that saves my posts from like 2 years ago to try to 'got em' me
 
CoyoteSpitfire

CoyoteSpitfire

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,202
Nope, people tend to not even notice me. I think I'd feel pretty great in your situation. But if you're uncomfortable and she isn't taking the hint, then blocking her would be a good idea.
 
grang

grang

Member
Nov 13, 2017
10,066
Had a pretty freaky whirlwind romance turned obsessed fixation with a 20 year old when I was 16, in the context of an intensive outpatient eating disorder facility, that began and ended over the course of a week or so
 
OP
OP
Strangelove_77

Strangelove_77

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
13,392
JoRu said:
I've had a few. One was a pretty normal, "healthy" obsession that passed fairly quickly after me telling her I wasn't interested.

I've had one which was more creepy and bothersome, though. After rejecting her it was fine for a while. But then she started to imply that I was lying to her about things I've said, for example me saying that I was not in love with anyone else either when she had asked that. She's kept repeatedly asking me if I've "changed my mind" since then, and in other ways tried to guilt trip me into thinking I've lied or done something wrong so that I would reconsider. It's calmed down now, but the obsessiveness and stalking from her side was fucking atrocious for a while.
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Wouldn't it be best to lie and tell her you're already in a relationship?
 
OP
OP
Strangelove_77

Strangelove_77

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
13,392
The thing about blocking her is that I'd feel like she'd try to find me since we both live in the same neighborhood.
 
Ravelle

Ravelle

Member
Oct 31, 2017
17,801
It's probably because of that spiral in your skull OP, you might have to move out of that town of yours.
 
wwm0nkey

wwm0nkey

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,575
Yes, she wanted to go out with me in HS and I tried it but it just wasn't working, she got SUPER obsessive after that and it was a fucking mess.
 
OP
OP
Strangelove_77

Strangelove_77

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
13,392
Yaboosh said:
She doesn't know you well enough to realize how average you are. She's not obsessed with you she's obsessed with some person in her head and you are just the unfortunate avatar.
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That's the thing. She knows everything about me. We were best friends for a long ass time. No one knows me better than her.
I've often thought about being a dick to her but it's just not in me to be that way towards another person.
 
diakyu

diakyu

Member
Dec 15, 2018
17,538
I had this one girl that would tune her interests into whatever I was currently into at the time. That's about it. She was ver nonchalant about it.
 
jb1234

jb1234

Very low key
Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,231
Night Terror said:
I've been on the other side of the equation. Truth is, it never goes well.

Be very concise and direct that you have no interest at all and cut all contact. I'm being serious.
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As another person on the other side, I concur. Rip the band-aid off. You'll be doing her a favor in the long run.
 
viciouskillersquirrel

viciouskillersquirrel

Cheering your loss
Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,874
I've had people with crushes on me that I haven't returned, but never full-blown stalker obsession, luckily.

An unreciprocated crush is already an awkward situation because, usually, you already get along with the person and like them as people, just not like that. It means you want to let them down easy, which isn't always possible to do. Still, it's best to be clear about it, because there are real people with real feelings that can get hurt.

The other side of it is that if you're bored, horny or lonely at the time, there's a temptation to try to date the person despite the lack of a real connection and "see what happens". This is nearly always a bad idea because it will inevitably fizzle out. If you recognise on some level that the two of you just aren't right for each other, hooking up isn't going to magically fix it.
 
tommyv2

tommyv2

Member
Nov 6, 2017
1,425
If you're single, enjoy yourself an obsessed stalker. Scary, yet fun way to get free video games and Chinese food.
 
Advance.Wars.Sgt.

Advance.Wars.Sgt.

Member
Jun 10, 2018
8,846
Yes, and I didn't even realize it until she had confessed her feelings.

It was completely out of left field too because I never once said anything to her.
 
Zelda

Zelda

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,079
A girl in my high school would follow me around from a distance. I caught her taking pics of me in class once too. After graduating from high school I've never seen her again.
 
shnurgleton

shnurgleton

Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,864
Boston
I had a weird fan club in middle/high school of girls I wasn't interested in conspicuously thirsting after me, it was really uncomfortable. One of the showed up on my doorstep one day, it was kind of terrifying and I did not have the maturity to deal with it at all
 
OP
OP
Strangelove_77

Strangelove_77

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
13,392
shnurgleton said:
I had a weird fan club in middle/high school of girls I wasn't interested in conspicuously thirsting after me, it was really uncomfortable. One of the showed up on my doorstep one day, it was kind of terrifying and I did not have the maturity to deal with it at all
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That sounds absolutely unreal. I got zero attention in high school.
 
poptire

poptire

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
9,977
I went out with this girl from Bumble a few times. We had fun but I wasn't very attracted to her. After about three weeks we met up for dinner and I told her I liked her as a friend and enjoyed spending time with her but the romantic part just wasn't working.

She went haywire, trashing me on Twitter, blowing up my phone with texts for days. I thought about a restraining order, even.

Eventually she stopped messaging me. A mutual friend PMed me a few weeks ago and said she'd been fired from her job for using the company credit card on personal items, and she apparently tried to blame it on a supervisor that had been making advances towards her.
 
viciouskillersquirrel

viciouskillersquirrel

Cheering your loss
Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,874
Zelda said:
A girl in my high school would follow me around from a distance. I caught her taking pics of me in class once too. After graduating from high school I've never seen her again.
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The mental picture I get of this is of an anime schoolgirl longing for senpai to notice her.
Strangelove77 said:
That sounds absolutely unreal. I got zero attention in high school.
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You probably got more attention than you realised. Teens are a thirsty lot, but they're also new at relationships and shy about their real feelings.
 
leenbzoold

leenbzoold

Member
Apr 5, 2018
1,558
Yes. The sooner they are being dissapointed by you in some way, the better, and everyone can move on.
 
Siggy-P

Siggy-P

Avenger
Mar 18, 2018
11,865
Strangelove77 said:
I ask because I have this friend who keeps texting me on Facebook. She tells about how she misses me and wants to meet up.
I've know her since high school and at one point we were best friends. We tried to turn that into a relationship back then but it just didn't work out. I wanted nothing to do with it after how things turned out.
But she still texts me about how she misses me. I've tried to talk to her about leaving me alone and she says she will but never goes through with it. I just ignore her now but she still texts me every once in a while.

Anyone here go through this sort of thing before?
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Click to shrink...

I have not, but regardless I shall tell you that you're taking the right course if actjon. Continue to block her on everything without hesitation. Don't message her first, show practically that she cannot contact you.

And if she ever does make contact in person, tell her in nonuncertain terms to keep away.

If she escalates, go the Police.
 
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