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Help me learn origami. Want to impress my crush at Whole Foods
- Thread starter MajulaDream
- Start date
Man some of you are cruel as fuck. Did any of you start dating before Tinder was invented?
Sorry to hear about the bad news OP. At least you were casual about it and figured it out organically.
Sorry to hear about the bad news OP. At least you were casual about it and figured it out organically.
Things I've learned from this thread. Some of you are super creepy. Far too many guys are making asking a woman out far too big a deal. There are a bunch of stalkers here. And very few have social awareness.
At least there were a decent amount of counter posts.
At least there were a decent amount of counter posts.
But he doesn't know how friendly they truly are because he hasn't interacted with her outside of a context where she's paid to be nice
Yeah, that's not really the place for it. Cashiers tend to be averse to that kind of thing when at work.
User Banned (1 Week): Inflammatory false equivalence surrounding bigotry
Extremists prey on the disenfranchised. If we go for the jugular and shame people who are just clueless instead of treating them like human beings you are setting up the ball for the first red-piller who comes along to nudge it into the hole.
People are obviously responsible for their own actions, ultimately. But we have to accept some culpability when we act to take people down instead of building them up. We have to stop abusing people for not having learned what we have.
I say this as kindly as possible. You are on the internet. The internet goes many other places than Resetera and one of them is google. Youtube also has a search function. It is also pretty damned creepy that you stalk this person and think that walking up and handing her a paper something or other will come off as anything other than creepy when you seem to not even be able to have a conversation with her.
I do not agree with this. They have a friendship of some kind so thatbis even better.
Shoot ya shot OP!
Just ask her out and move on if she says no.
A guy at work literally the other day said he was gonna try and pick up a girl (customer) by creating a contact in his phone, putting her name in (He knows her name) and putting the cursor in the phone number field and saying "check this out" and handing her the phone in the hopes that she figures out the puzzle.
A guy at work literally the other day said he was gonna try and pick up a girl (customer) by creating a contact in his phone, putting her name in (He knows her name) and putting the cursor in the phone number field and saying "check this out" and handing her the phone in the hopes that she figures out the puzzle.
He did, they were such close friends he didn't know she had a boyfriend... he does now though.
Ah man, I was only on page 3, spoilers.
This thread feels off to me. I get service folks are paid to be nice but in working in retail for years I saw it all the time and never gave it a second thought. Sometimes they say no but just as often if they are single and the person asking is attractive, they say yes. Doesnt seem like a big deal.
No. No. No. No, that's not how this works. The OP claims he has "kindled a bit of a friendship" with the cashier, but they are not friends. They have never spent any time together outside of her customer service role. They have never had a conversation where she wasn't being paid to be nice to him. He didn't even know she had a boyfriend already.
I recommend you guys read this post for an example of how wildly out of control these situations can get when a man mistakes basic human interaction with a retail serviceperson as flirting. Now, I'm not saying the OP would do something like this...but we don't know. We don't have any idea who he is, and more importantly, neither does the girl he's talking to. "Excuse me, can I speak to a manager, the girl on checkout 5 was very rude to me just now..."
The ground rules here really aren't hard. Don't ask people on dates in situations where they're physically stuck with you. Don't ask people on dates in places where there are no witnesses around, like empty parking lots. Don't ask people on dates in situations where their job and livelihood depends on making you happy. This shouldn't be difficult. But of course it becomes difficult because every Stalker Sammy has a story about how his brother's friend asked out a girl at Starbucks and she said yes so maybe it'll work for him too. That's how stalkers operate; the slightest bit of "hope," even if it has nothing to do with their particular situation, is enough to keep them going even when all available evidence says the person is not interested or has even told them such repeatedly.
Oh, and...
"Be attractive, don't be unattractive." Yeah, no shit. People are more willing to say yes if a person they're actually attracted to asks them out. Thanks for this bold scientific inquiry. The problem is that because you have no idea if the other person finds you attractive, you should not be asking them out in a situation where it is potentially unsafe for them to say no.
While I get what you're saying in the last paragraph, it is filled with ifs and fears and snark but I get it. I'm a dinosaur. The world moves on.
Should've said 'lucky guy' when she mentioned boyfriend. Don't have to explain why you said just move the convo forward happily while planting a seed, clearly, that you are interested.
Well that was a wild ride. Nice job finding out in a genuinely natural way, OP. That could have been an awkward mess of a situation if it had played out a little differently.
This part cannot be driven home hard enough. Particularly in a retail environment, people tend to get this idea that if the associate they're dealing with is nice to them, they're friends. Or their available. Or they're dropping hints that they're attracted to you... Wait until you've had some sort of interaction with them outside of a place where they're trapped in a perpetual state of needing to be positive and friendly for the sake of their paycheck before you go assuming anything about your chances with a person.
Ok, now that one is creepy. The origami thing is looking more and more charming by the minute.
Yes. Just don't make it the crux of the interaction. Say it with confidence and don't make it a big deal (because it's not). You can mask it with an anecdote about camping/outdoors and still let her know.
She is taken. She told him she's taken. Why does he need to let her know he's interested anyway?
Phew. He doesn't have to. If he wants to, that's his choice. Just do so respectively.
Being respectful would actually involve respecting her unavailability, not lining up to be her next lay.
A charismatic, socially adept person could pull this off.
A person who's first thought after deciding they want to ask someone out is to learn oragami probably can't.
Well said. There are some embarrassing comments in this thread.
Nothing wrong with asking a girl out at her place of work, especially if you get along. Just be a little subtle about it. The origami is done weird shit though.
Hard disagree.
You have to think about whether or not you will make them uncomfortable and making things awkward for the both of you. How is that going to affect future interactions? Will they avoid you? Will you avoid that location entirely?
If it's a place you frequent it's a bad idea.
Here's the other thing: women are constantly being hit on, asked out, creeped on, etc. They're at work, give them some fucking peace. Don't be that guy.
And if a woman says nah you're wrong don't ask me out at work, invite her to coffee where you can explain to her why she's the wrong one!!!!!
