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Henry Cavill: Hesitant to date in fear of being called a rapist
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By all means, I agree that his original quote about "the thrill of the chase" does come off a little weird, but for anyone who's ever dated or gone through the very early stages of a potential relationship, we all know, both male and female, how exzilerating it is to find someone who's as interested in you as you are with them. I feel like people wouldn't think twice about of this statement if it came from a female, but since its coming from a male who has more of an ability to defend himself, its downplayed as though he is capable of preventing trouble from occurring (ex: Terry crews)
This movement is a lot like BLM and I'm happy to see maginalized people finally have an opportunity to come forward with their truths to finally see some level of recognizition with it....but there's a part of me that's also wanting more accountability to happen on both sides. Maybe I'm wrong for wanting this due to the level of liars being significantly less than the number of people telling the truth, but seeing as most of the people on the internet who react to these stories will never really have the full context of the situation, it's incredible easy to jump to whatever side feels right and stick to it with next to no information to follow. I think the one advantage BLM has is the videos showing what happened to the people they are standing up for. That is something I could easily get on board with, but I understand that in requesting for that level of proof or information with all sexual assault cases is both impossible and improbable given the scenario that it's likely to only happen in private where no cameras are running.
I guess I don't really understand the outrage over Cavill. I mean, the sentiment is ridiculous but it's not worthy of ending your fandom of his or anything. Just a meat-head comment but not maliciously so, in my opinion. If he is dumb enough to think that hitting on women will get him called a rapist, well, pity the women that don't get to be the target of his affectations.
(It's ridiculous anyways, as the real world scenario of this all is that to most people, Cavill could just stand around in a bar and have people throw themselves at him anyways, so I doubt he's really going out of his way to pick up women that much in the first place.)
I would absolutely ignore or actively incite anger at this twat. It's written for the Daily Wire which is Ben Shapiro's outrage-rag designed to make suburban men feel like their penises are large, their brains are larger and that 1950s conservatism is the way the world should be. Fuck 'em.
(It's ridiculous anyways, as the real world scenario of this all is that to most people, Cavill could just stand around in a bar and have people throw themselves at him anyways, so I doubt he's really going out of his way to pick up women that much in the first place.)
I would absolutely ignore or actively incite anger at this twat. It's written for the Daily Wire which is Ben Shapiro's outrage-rag designed to make suburban men feel like their penises are large, their brains are larger and that 1950s conservatism is the way the world should be. Fuck 'em.
These posts are disgusting. But then, I guess I should've expected it.
lol most of the responses here literally prove his point. Yeah he maybe could have worded it better, I understand the hyperbole, but maybe not use rape as the example.
Do you have something to say or are you going to hide behind this passive aggressive bullshit of a post?
Straight white men need to shut up for once in their damn lives tbh.
But understand that this is you. This is what you are saying. Cavill made himself very clear. I see no sign in his words that he needed anyone to "clarify" what it was he was trying to communicate.
You can't substitute Cavill's words for your own interpretation and then criticize people who are responding to Cavill's words. People are going by what he said.
Oh look, another one.
I've already said it, several times. The people here like you and the dearly departed Bleepey stanning for Cavill and downplaying his disgusting statements need to take a long look in the mirror and listing to what they are defending. We've already had almost twenty people banned here for spewing downplaying this and spewing bullshit. Is this REALLY the hill you want to die on???
acting as a profession must attract this kind of narcissist by the boatload. It's like Sean Penn with his stupid little poem. hmm yes MeToo, exploited women yadda yadda how does this affect me and my dating life as a rich and famous actor?
It's a hard life being told "no means no". Truly the weight of the world on their shoulders
I get what he's saying. All it would take is one crazy person and your life is ruined. And even if you're ultimately proven innocent, the internet mob will have already gotten you by that point anyway.
I do think the social progress we've made recently is worth it, but surely people can understand this POV? Unless you have a lot of faith in the average stranger being a decent person lol.
I do think the social progress we've made recently is worth it, but surely people can understand this POV? Unless you have a lot of faith in the average stranger being a decent person lol.
I don't. The odds of a false accusation happening to jail Mr. Cavill are extremely small, given that false rape accusations are only 2% of all reports.
All it takes is one crazy person who expects him to stop when she says no. Women be crazy, right?
You have a way better chance of getting into a car accident then someone filing a false rape report against you. I'm willing to bet money that you aren't paralyzed by fear of car accidents every time you have to drive to work. Why should anyone operate under the assumption that women are running around filing false rape reports when they are courting women when the odds do not favor that at all?
It's not a fear informed by rationality. It's the same thing as people that drive cars but won't ever step into a plane. Giving them statistics won't change their mind, because that assumes that their belief is only fueled by a wrong dataset that can be corrected.
How is it risky?
How is it risky "these days"?
What's different now than before that makes it riskier?
Where is this explosion of people who have had their careers ruined by false allegations?
User Banned (1 Week): Misogynistic fear-mongering.
How is it risky?
It risks your career and reputation if you are in the public light.
How is it risky "these days"?
These days everything is documented and analyzed. Text messages, videos, photos, emails, etc. A man can have honest intentions of pursuing a woman and the narrative can be spun as harassment.
What's different now than before that makes it riskier?
The internet. Everything is documented. And society has changed as well. I'm all for women being protected against harassment. But it's just too risky for a guy to try to woo a girl anymore.
Where is this explosion of people who have had their careers ruined by false allegations?
What?
Again, I think Cavill is right. In today's world, a man is better off waiting for the woman to make the first move. It significantly reduces the risk of things being taken the wrong way or misunderstood.
It risks your career and reputation if you are in the public light.
How is it risky "these days"?
These days everything is documented and analyzed. Text messages, videos, photos, emails, etc. A man can have honest intentions of pursuing a woman and the narrative can be spun as harassment.
What's different now than before that makes it riskier?
The internet. Everything is documented. And society has changed as well. I'm all for women being protected against harassment. But it's just too risky for a guy to try to woo a girl anymore.
Where is this explosion of people who have had their careers ruined by false allegations?
What?
Again, I think Cavill is right. In today's world, a man is better off waiting for the woman to make the first move. It significantly reduces the risk of things being taken the wrong way or misunderstood.
What? He doesn't want women to make the first move. He wants to go back to the times when it was acceptable for men to continue going after a woman after she said no.
Let me just repeat what i posted earlier for the new people.
Some of the comments in this thread just scream of men wanting it to be their turn to be the victim. I'm completely dumbfounded at how some of you think.
It doesn't take a whole lot these days to get the ball rolling about harassment, rape or abuse allegations. Whether they're justified or not the fact is that everything is under a microscope now and the smallest mistake could blow up to career ending situations. Of course he's not afraid of "getting jailed." He's just afraid of fucking up.
You don't have to be a rapist or an abuser to make mistakes, come off as rude by making the wrong impression or overstepping a boundary you thought was safe doing so. That can happen. There aren't just "rapists" and "good guys." There are plenty of guys with good intentions that fuck up. Same with woman. But if Henry Cavill does it, it's on Twitter, it's on Jezebel, it's on Facebook, its on TV, it's in the tabloids. And before you know it you are shunned from the industry. That's a perfectly understandable fear.
You don't have to be a rapist or an abuser to make mistakes, come off as rude by making the wrong impression or overstepping a boundary you thought was safe doing so. That can happen. There aren't just "rapists" and "good guys." There are plenty of guys with good intentions that fuck up. Same with woman. But if Henry Cavill does it, it's on Twitter, it's on Jezebel, it's on Facebook, its on TV, it's in the tabloids. And before you know it you are shunned from the industry. That's a perfectly understandable fear.
This isnt about being perceived as "rude" and you shouldnt be coming away from this topic with that understanding.
no it's not. he's being unreasonable if he thinks women are some how out to make him look like a creep or worse. A few stories circulating in the blogs shouldn't justify that kind of fear. That's insane.
User Banned (2 Weeks): Repeated downplaying of sexual harassment allegations, fearmongering.
But that's not what he's afraid about? He's afraid about messing up in any way and it blowing up. We are waaaaaaaay past "a few stories circulating in the blogs" at this point, when allegations, stories or rumors pop up, the pop up everywhere. The fact that he doesn't trust himself is questionable but the fear of escalation I find not.
that's not reasonable either. it assumes that women are out here conspiring to sell every story of a date gone wrong to the blogs and frame it in a way that make people like him look like creeps or worse. Where is the evidence to suggest that this could be the case? I can't point to anything the makes this fear and this precautions of his seem reasonable. If he's reading a few stories of this happening and shitting his pants you cant sell that to me as reasonable or valid. There nothing damning you or him can point to and fairly conclude that these precautions are necessary. He's fucking overreacting.
Jeeeeesus Henry.
It's so insensitive that he brings this up, as if guys feeling like they have to walk on eggshells when it comes to dating is some kind of issue, while on the flipside women are dealing with the far, far more serious issue of sexual harassment.
Like yeah Henry, you might feel that way, but it's kind of ridiculous to go all, "Oh woe is me" when your and other guys' supposed problem in this situation is not even a fucking problem compared to the ACTUAL ISSUE AT HAND.
And it's really ironic how he's all concerned about his public image in these comments, but these very comments ended up damaging his public image anyway.
It's so insensitive that he brings this up, as if guys feeling like they have to walk on eggshells when it comes to dating is some kind of issue, while on the flipside women are dealing with the far, far more serious issue of sexual harassment.
Like yeah Henry, you might feel that way, but it's kind of ridiculous to go all, "Oh woe is me" when your and other guys' supposed problem in this situation is not even a fucking problem compared to the ACTUAL ISSUE AT HAND.
And it's really ironic how he's all concerned about his public image in these comments, but these very comments ended up damaging his public image anyway.
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If messing up is not taking no for an answer or sexual harassment of course he should be afraid
This isn't how statistics work. Whatever source you have for global average rate of false reports has no bearing on an individual, especially a clearly atypical individual.
Are false accusations more common against notably rich men who have a ton of their wealth potential tied up in their public perception than against the typical man? I don't know, but neither do you. Whatever 2% you're working with includes (tens? hundreds? of) thousands of people who couldn't, say, credibly threaten to call TMZ to peddle a fabricated story.
The 2% isn't "the likelihood of a report against any given person being false," it's the likelihood of any given report in the universe being false. The number doesn't tell you anything about the nature of those false reports, or what class of person they might disproportionately accrue to.
I'm not sure its entirely irrational for someone in the public eye like Henry Cavill? And jail isn't the only negative impact it could have, obviously. Any accusation would damage his reputation and affect his livelihood. Is it likely? No. But I get the fear.
...why do this? I never said anything of the sort. At all.
For real. This thread is now four days old. And yet you still have people floating in here and catching bans with their paranoia about evil bitches trying to falsely accuse them of rape. What possesses a man to see this topic, see the age of the OP, see all the bans and still post dumb shit like "Y'know he has a point. He just worded it badly. If there's even a 1% chance a woman will accuse you of rape, we have to take it as an absolute certainity. Women are scary and out to get men. "
Based on what statistics?
Edit: adidn't see the banner on your later post below before replying.
In answer to your "what?" If you're still reading:
Statistics show that false allogantions are rare. So if your behaviours are fine chances are high you'll be fine too.
There is no epidemic of men being falsely accused so why is anyone even commenting like Cavil?
Privilege being rebalanced feels like a shock to some I guess.
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If only it were true.
As opposed to the internet mob that includes death threats and rape threats that forms against REAL victims and false accusers alike because they're accusing someone they idolize for no good reason? I want to to stew on that thought for a moment, that ANY accusation is met with harassment of the potential (or actual) victim due to the automatic assumption by the "internet mob" that she's falsely accusing, also "regardless of the facts". That argument plays both ways. Who do you think is exceptionally more vulnerable and has more to lose with that in mind?
Besides that, where was this paranoia before? It's not like a false rape accusation how-to was written up for women when #MeToo happened.
So if you're paranoid about it now, you should have been paranoid about it before.... OH WAIT, no you probably shouldn't have been, because society commonly protects rapists by discrediting and threatening accusers, regardless of whether or not it was true.
So basically, when you deconstruct this argument in such a way as you have, you open it up to these critiques which only reaffirm that his complaint can be boiled down to "I'm scared now that women are trying to take away my male privilege security blankey that ensured I wouldn't suffer any consequences for what could be unwanted behavior at best and terrible misogynistic behavior at worst."
Of course I know this. I explicitly mentioned in my original post that the social progress we've made when it comes to sexual assault (etc.) in the last year or so is a good thing. I'm not trying to minimize that or imply that the fears Cavill has are at all comparable. I just understand the fear, irrational as it may be to some.
Please. That's looking at it through the worst lens possible. The rational explanation for why the paranoia is higher now is because of just how easy it would be for a crazy/evil person to take advantage of the movement if they wanted to. That's it.
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The President of the United States bragged about being able to sexually assault women.
So let's look at it another way: is he terrified of saying the wrong thing and being seen as an asshole or a nightmare when a person takes that story to TMZ or the tabloids or spreads rumors through the Hollywood grapevine?
I'd hope it's a yes, because that's exceptionally more common and SO much easier than a false rape accusation and has happened to several celebrities over the years, such as everyone's most-hated Roseanne Barr, who was out of work for a decade or so due to talk about her being difficult to work with. Or Rip Torn, who allegedly had a knife fight with someone at a dinner with Peter Fonda (who couldn't corroborate that Torn initiated the altercation) and lost a role that went on to make Jack Nicholson a star and has been a B-lister since.
Here's a better and more recent example: Katherine Heigl couldn't get decent work for the better part of 6 years, going from grabbing $12 million a role to doing cheap direct-to-video movies and failed TV series, all because of rumours that she was a primadonna. Maybe she'll do well on Suits.
So where's his irrational fear of upsetting his co-workers?
Or is he afraid of having a party and being falsely accused of manslaughter if one of his guests dies?
Because that exact thing happened to Fatty Arbuckle. His accuser's tale was so flimsy that she was never called to testify because the prosecutor knew her story wouldn't stand up to scrutiny. That seems like a cakewalk for her: say shit and never be required to back it up. He had to suffer through 2 mistrials and a 3rd trial that acquitted him. But he was out of work for more than a decade and only got work again the year that he died of a heart attack. And Arbuckle isn't the only one that lost a career over association to a crime or crimes they didn't commit. So where's the fear of that?
How would a Henry Cavill be able to function with that mountain of things to be concerned about that are infinitely more likely?
Oh, wait, those don't single out women using their newfound "ease" of victimhood to their personal advantage, despite there being infinitely easier avenues to ruin a celebrity's life than a rape accusation that doesn't cause the accuser to be exposed to death and rape threats.
There's no method in which it's just about irrational thinking unless it's an irrational fear of women in general, as it's the only thing unique to this single career-ending happenstance he apparently has paranoia over in lieu of all the other crippling fears he could possess.
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We don't know either way if false reports are more common or less common with individuals of Cavils status but neither does Cavil. He doesn't posses any additional dataset that you and I don't know of that can make his precautions seem valid and reasonable. Is he reacting to various #metoo headlines and going with that? A previous poster mentioned that he's probably more so looking at stories Where some famous dude did some goofy shit and got embarrassed by the blogs. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that's the case. Rich men and athletes already take precautions for those kinds of things. They make their partner sign NDAs which I think is fair. Kanye West iirc made Amber Rose sign an NDA when they broke up. An idiot such as Chris Brown makes his groupies sign NDAs. NBA players are notorious for having women sign NDAs even just to party with them. If Cavil wants to take precautions and not be embarrassed by a date gone wrong story popping up in the blogs with his name in it shouldn't he try to take from his peers and make his partners sign an NDA? To me it seems anything more than that is completely unreasonable
so more unjustified fear mongering then? You're getting paranoid about a total hypothetical "what if?" situation.
I tell ya this right now you wouldn't last a week of being a woman without having a mental breakdown if you're that afraid. I can't even go to the fucking grocery store without being sexually harassed somedays and you're over here sweating bullets on some slim chance some "crazy" girl falsely accuses you of rape.
Know what's worse than being falsely accused of rape? BEING RAPED.
There are some things you can't control in life. I don't really fear a car or plane crash because if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. That's the difference. This is something you can control. As unlikely as you believe it is, the chance that someone could make false accusations is entirely possible, and Cavill has changed the way he looks at approaching women as a result.
I don't know why people keep acting as if I'm equating these two things. Nothing I've said has remotely implied that.
There isn't much point continuing this.
Because you know what we've seen a lot of in this thread? Men talking in great detail about the horrors of your career as an actor being ruined by one false accusation (which is untrue, but whatever). You know what hasn't been talked about for the most part? The severe trauma that rape survivors endure because it scars you for the rest of your life.
Cavills point is that the #MeToo movement is bad for him because he's afraid of being falsely accused. If your priority is empathizing with him and not the scores of rape victims in the MeToo movement, it shows where your empathy is; with a powerful rich white actor instead of rape victims.
And make no mistake, you can't say you understand his fear and also claim to have empathy for women. Because implicit in his fear (and the fear men display in this thread) is that women are untrustworthy when reporting rape. And you can't call women liars or distrust us while encouraging us to report rape. Fear and trust are mutually exclusive emotions.
I absolutely can, and have done so.
Rape and sexual assault is the worst thing a guy could possibly be associated with. So yes, I can emphasise with Cavill's fear of being wrongly accused. I can't help but think of how many people that would affect other than myself. It would fundamentally change or end my relationships with everyone I've ever known. Car crashes and the other comparisons people have made honestly don't even come close to that, so yes the idea that an opportunistic lunatic could take advantage of the situation is a little scary. Do I let it paralyse me and avoid dating? Of course not. But I do understand the fear, and don't really get how that's so surprising to some.
Whether you believe that or still think this is some veiled misogyny is beyond me at this point.
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You don't need to be a Hollywood actor to be a narcissist and one of the purposes of the MeToo movement is to make men think twice about how they approach women.
The fact that Henry Cavill, a gorgeous guy that from other interviews seems funny and a nice person that most women would not turn down if he started wooing them, is legitimately scared that one bad date could ruin his life isn't actually something people in this thread (90+% of which are men, I'd assume) should be so aggressively condescending about.
It just means he's starting to understand how scared women are of one bad date that could get them stalked, raped or, y'know, killed.
Which is a good thing 'cause if men actually understood how much attention women have to pay to everything we do, everything we wear, everything we say, if men understood how much attention women have to pay to everything men say and do, keeping an eye out for any warning signs, you'd understand that dating isn't very fun and is actually exhausting.
Ironically, Henry Cavill is quite right - from the perspective of women, anyway. Dating really isn't worth the risk and you do end up going back to the same old flames and relationships that didn't work because at least you know they won't rape or murder you or ring your doorbell at 4am because you didn't reply to the twelve texts they sent today.
So, maybe, if men are starting to understand what dating is like for women, they'll make a conscious effort to make women feel more comfortable and safe.
I want to contribute to the discussion but I don't know how to word it without being banned...
I was personally accused of rape. It never went to court or anything but after a long discussion with her and after she calmed down she admitted it wasn't rape and we're still somewhat friends. This doesn't justify Henry Cavill saying stupid things but he could have personal experience in this topic that never came to light which is why he's so afraid. It doesn't matter statistically how many times false reports go out. I'm also afraid of accidentally saying the wrong thing so I'm pretty cold to women until they explicitly say they like me. My fear could very well be irrational but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Just a different point of view from someone who was accused.
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I just realized the ridiculous amount of irony in my username being "Superman".
I was personally accused of rape. It never went to court or anything but after a long discussion with her and after she calmed down she admitted it wasn't rape and we're still somewhat friends. This doesn't justify Henry Cavill saying stupid things but he could have personal experience in this topic that never came to light which is why he's so afraid. It doesn't matter statistically how many times false reports go out. I'm also afraid of accidentally saying the wrong thing so I'm pretty cold to women until they explicitly say they like me. My fear could very well be irrational but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Just a different point of view from someone who was accused.
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I just realized the ridiculous amount of irony in my username being "Superman".
User Banned(1 Week): Baseless Fearmongering about Dating
He is sort of right, not because sexual harassment isn't something that exists but rather because not everyone has the same interpretation of what those things entails. To some all it takes to be harassed is saying something they deem to be wrong, and once accused the accused is already on the back-foot. The internet is judge, jury and executioner (usually of those peoples carriers). The internet does not seek evidence and everyone assumes they know simply because an accusation is leveled against someone. So why wouldn't someone be afraid to date? Especially a celebrity who knows that all it takes to sink his reputation is an Accusation, it doesn't matter if said accusation is true or not.
He's being hyperbolic, obviously. But the idea that because he's famous someone might accuse him of things for even trying to be romantic, yeah sure I get that. I don't know how he managed to fuck up expressing it so badly though.
User Banned (1 Week): Sexist generalisations, downplaying sexual harassment. Account still in junior phase.
I think there are many men that have experienced how irrational some girs can get after you break up with them or end some fling. It's of course scary to think about how that could play out if she chooses to use social media to get some revenge. As a man I find myself being much more scared about things I can't defend myself against, unwanted sexual advances or harassment aimed only at me feels easier to deal with than uncontrollable rumors. It doesn't have to be full on rape accusation (which I agree is probably extremely rare).