Honest question, why has interracial dating become a controversial topic as of late (especially within the black community)?

[Neoxon]

I found this interesting

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I just watched this & I can honestly relate with Rachel on a few levels, especially with regards to not being seen as black despite my skin color. I was constantly called an oreo in high school (black on the outside, white on the inside), especially with regards to how I acted & what I was into (I was more "proper" as they put it, I was a theatre kid who was also in student council.....I still do the former, etc.). But all the same, I'm proud to be black, & my interests with regards to video games/theatre/musical theatre/comics/movies/rock music/Broadway showtunes/etc. don't impact my blackness at all. This issue has gone down a significant amount in college, but it's something I occasionally think back to.

Either way, this was a fantastic video. Thank you for posting it, Tyrant.

How much interaction with black people do you have besides reading Twitter

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My theatre friends in college are mostly black (I don't see much of them now for obvious reasons), though it didn't seem like they cared either way on the topic of interracial dating.

 

[CrocoDuck]

Haven't really heard of this controversy but from what I know from observations and run arounds on and off the internet, AA Americans (particularly women) are the least desirable group among all racial groups.

there are also other really disturbing things you hear from minority communities like Asian women dating white guys because Asian men are seen as unmasculine (you also see them dating a lot of black men). For Latinos I know that in some instances within the Mexican-American community, Mexican girls are encouraged to date white guys because Mexican men/latinos are stereotyped as being controlling and misogynistic. They are also seen as more socially and economically successful, so there's another motive. You can further add the fetishization that you hear/read/see from all types of media that reinforce and glamorize these interracial mixtures without ever exploring potential negatives.

Obviously anyone can date whomever they want and this is not always the case within these communities, but these ideas/trends do exist.

 

[rude]

I made a thread on this, but you guys didn't want to discuss it then.

how interesting

 

[Muppet of a Man]

Sentiments like this feel similar to the "color-blind" approach to dealing with racism. Regardless of whether or not race has a biological basis, people do make assumptions or judgements of other people based on what they look like, especially when it comes to relationships. So race is a very real thing.




Honestly, I've become really suspicious of concepts like integration and assimilation these days. Some topics that come up in Asian American dialogue (or perhaps any immigrant experience) that tie into this issue is that marrying a White partner and distancing oneself from one's Asian heritage is a sign of becoming "truly integrated" into American society. In that sense, integration just feels more like erasure and it upholds a disturbing status quo.

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It's can't be this black or white sort of thing where it's either forced integration/assimilation or pure segregation. That's not the point . The point is options that are truly options. The problem is things right now are biased far too far towards segregation. A more natural balance would include much more integration.

 

[Deleted member 6230]

I made a thread on this, but you guys didn't want to discuss it then.

how interesting

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Didn't even get to ten posts

 

[sprsk]

As someone who has been in an interracial relationship for, fuck, 19 years? I can tell you the whole "colorblind" idea is just not realistic. We all have our own culture, and successful interracial relationships constantly have to deal with that. You may think race doesn't matter in your dating decisions, but also you should not go into an interracial relationship thinking "Well they're gonna be just like me but a different color!". You gotta be able to come to terms with your reality not being the only one, existing in a different culture, and then be able to accept that.

We as white people tend to think the world revolves around us, and even unconsciously think white is superior even when it comes to the people we love. When you date someone from another race, you have to wash that shit off or it'll never work.

I'm not black but I can only assume push back is partly based on white people never putting in the work to understand their partner's culture. I would be dubious of us too.

 

[Mr.fresh]

Sure but that's just 50 Cent and Lil Wayne being fucking racist. There are absolutely tons of racist people and that figures into their dating behavior as well, but that doesn't make interracial dating as a concept problematic.

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Sorry I was at work but I'm not saying that's the sole reason but it's a lot that happens even in my own family I unfortunately have cousins and uncles and stuff who refuse to date black women

 

[Deleted member 11413]

Sorry I was at work but I'm not saying that's the sole reason but it's a lot that happens even in my own family I unfortunately have cousins and uncles and stuff who refuse to date black women

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Yeah you are right, it is far too common.

 

[Bman94]

I don't care honestly, it's not a big deal for me.

But if you do want a "reason", especially with my pro-black friends, it's the idea of "why would you date your oppressors"? The more significant thought process is that historically black women were raped by white men during slavery, so culturally, it is seem like disrespect to date someone who's culture was based on rape and abuse towards black women.

On the other end, it's not hidden secret that Black men were falsely accused of sexual misconduct by White Women. You can look as far as back as Emitt Till. Again, it's the idea of "why would you feel comfortable dating a race that has hated your kind for years and/or see Black men as some sexual deviant because of their sexual organs".

 

[nanskee]

It's only an issue if you go on Twitter where everything is an issue. Irl nobody really cares

^pretty good explanation. I understand but disagree, I just think people should enjoy themselves

 

[Deleted member 6230]

It's only an issue if you go on Twitter where everything is an issue. Irl nobody really cares

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Uhh people got lynched for interracial dating in this country. That kinda baggage just doesn't disappear over night

 

[nanskee]

Uhh people got lynched for interracial dating in this country. That kinda baggage just doesn't disappear over night

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I mean that's true, I guess it depends on where you live. For example in the UK and Canada it's not that big of a deal. The US is different for sure.

I will say this though, with all honesty, I've been told by some family members that if I marry outside of my ethnicity I guess, they will not attend my wedding ceremony.

I don't know, still you're correct and I'll amend my statement; from my perspective it's not a big deal

 

[LilWayneSuckz]

Why ask an aggressively and predominately white board when it seems you looking for a black opinion??

I may not subscribe all the way to your friends philosophy but just take a look at the current world we live in?

Casual Racism, Denial, Virulent Racism

You do yourself a disservice to partner with somebody who doesn't understand the struggles you deal with when it comes to racial issues, and it's another level of effort to have to explain that to them let alone if debates arise which only just adds more stress and tension to a relationship

Basically, don't partner yourself with someone who "like Black people" but don't have shit to say or be involved in black issues of civil liberties

This is all just old shit coming to drastic measures now

This is all ontop of a lifetime of degrading and disrespecting black women, fetishization and everything else

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This post summarizes everything I feel about this topic as a black gay male.

 

[DragonSJG]

I don't care honestly, it's not a big deal for me.

But if you do want a "reason", especially with my pro-black friends, it's the idea of "why would you date your oppressors"? The more significant thought process is that historically black women were raped by white men during slavery, so culturally, it is seem like disrespect to date someone who's culture was based on rape and abuse towards black women.

On the other end, it's not hidden secret that Black men were falsely accused of sexual misconduct by White Women. You can look as far as back as Emitt Till. Again, it's the idea of "why would you feel comfortable dating a race that has hated your kind for years and/or see Black men as some sexual deviant because of their sexual organs".

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What do you think of being pro black and interracial dating then?

 

[JohnsonUT]

I found this interesting

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Just want to say, watching the Acho brother blow up the last few years has been a real joy. Even has youngsters they were special people. Hook 'em

 

[DragonSJG]

Regarding the fetishization topic, recently I was discussing the whole race thing in a groupchat of mine and someone said "I'm going to f*ck European girls for every African country that was colonized" and someone else agreed. Like, that kind of rhetoric is not only predatory and sexist as hell but its a waste. Like why waste time on some "revenge scheme" when you can focus on building a healthy relationship with black women. Man, I just hope they were kidding

 

[Powdered Egg]

It's only really like this because of social media and black women feeling let down by a lot of black men. Recently a lot of black men claim to not date black women because they are to much to deal with, or even rather have a black women of a lighter skin tone. 50 cent and lil Wayne just had a conversation on young money radio and they were saying how they would rather have an exotic woman over a black woman.

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I fucking despise this and it's one of my main beefs with rap. There are too many lyrics of rappers cooning and putting non-Black women on a pedestal. It's really fucked up, abusive, and socially irresponsible. At the end of the day no one cares what Wayne, 50, Kanye, or countless other rappers are into so why go out of the way to put that misogynoir out there? Those records shouldn't be played on the radio imo.

I love rap but I feel like the bullshit promoted in mainstream is a psyops at times.

I made a thread on this, but you guys didn't want to discuss it then.

how interesting

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Lmao! The mods have gotten better at letting discussions blossom. I remember this thread.

 

[Advance.Wars.Sgt.]

Regarding the fetishization topic, recently I was discussing the whole race thing in a groupchat of mine and someone said "I'm going to f*ck European girls for every African country that was colonized" and someone else agreed. Like, that kind of rhetoric is not only predatory and sexist as hell but its a waste. Like why waste time on some "revenge scheme" when you can focus on building a healthy relationship with black women. Man, I just hope they were kidding

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It's a lyric from Bas's "Too High to Riot" (fire song btw), so I'm going to guess the post was only half serious.

 

[Mr.fresh]

I fucking despise this and it's one of my main beefs with rap. There are too many lyrics of rappers cooning and putting non-Black women on a pedestal. It's really fucked up, abusive, and socially irresponsible. At the end of the day no one cares what Wayne, 50, Kanye, or countless other rappers are into so why go out of the way to put that misogynoir out there? Those records shouldn't be played on the radio imo.

I love rap but I feel like the bullshit promoted in mainstream is a psyops at times.

Lmao! The mods have gotten better at letting discussions blossom. I remember this thread.

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I agree it sucks, and they are absolutely putting them on a pedestal. I was just hanging out with friends at my house watching music videos on Youtube (Socially distant lol) and drinking and some of the females started commenting and saying things like "Damn there's not one dark skin girl in this video smh" But I only brought up Lil Wayne and 50 Cent because it was really recent and they received a ton of flak on Instagram for it, even Lil Waynes own daughter who seems to love and worship her dad was offended by this. But yea I 100 percent agree its socially irresponsible.

 

[DragonSJG]

It's a lyric from Bas's "Too High to Riot" (fire song btw), so I'm going to guess the post was only half serious.

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Ah good to know them

 

[LilWayneSuckz]

Interracial dating in the gay community is a mess, because I can't tell you how many times I've been fetishized by non-Black men; the only time I feel comfortable even engaging with someone on a dating app is with a Black man because they (generally) aren't thinking about a Mandingo fantasy, but even they have their own issues with fetishization of other races and wanting to be fetishized by exclusively non-Black men/women/non-binary people.

I made a thread on this, but you guys didn't want to discuss it then.

how interesting

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I don't even understand why your thread was locked, but I digress...

 

[Thanquol]

When I divorced a few years ago before meeting my new girlfriend I was on tinder an other apps as well and a disturbing trend I noticed was some black women who clearly indicated they didnt want to meet black men. That baffled my mind. As a caucasian I went on dates with a few black women and they told me the same, they didnt have any reason for it as well.

It was incredibly disturbing to say the least, why would you refuse to date a certain ethinicty is beyond my comprehension.

 

[TorianElecdra]

I have seen this sentiment highly reproduced in gay dating, specially when it comes to self-hatred from minorities and fetishized attitudes from, specially, white men. I understand the implications, but I also think the argument usually takes the approach of sociological essentialism when the only thing that matters in a romantic relationship are the sociological implications. I don't think we solve anything by asking people to "stay in their racial lanes" when it comes to dating. It seems reactionary tbh.

 

[GamerJM]

This might seem weird to say, but I'm a white person who's gone out on dates with two black women in the past and both seemed to have some weird internalized racism going on. The first complained about her younger sister being an "SJW" because she held a staged BLM-themed walk out at her school, and the second went on a rant about how she doesn't date black guys. I didn't really know what to say since like, I'm white and I couldn't find a way to really tell both of these women that their attitudes are wrong without seeming like a white savior.

 

[Thanquol]

This might seem weird to say, but I'm a white person who's gone out on dates with two black women in the past and both seemed to have some weird internalized racism going on. The first complained about her younger sister being an "SJW" because she held a staged BLM-themed walk out at her school, and the second went on a rant about how she doesn't date black guys. I didn't really know what to say since like, I'm white and I couldn't find a way to really tell both of these women that their attitudes are wrong without seeming like a white savior.

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See my post above, I experienced the same. I thought it was maybe a local thing or I was just being paranoid.

 

[masud]

I feel like this issue is slightly more complex than people are giving it credit for. Obviously interracial relationships should be accepted but some of the negative reactions while not defensible are understandable, especially in the black community. A black person dating a white person is not necessarily a indication of self hatred, but self hatred is a real thing in the black community and the thing you will often see with self hating black people is that usually they exclusively date non black people, its also common for successful black people to start dating outside of their race as a status symbol. We as black people have gone though a lot of psychological trauma, it's not easy, especially for black women, to grow up in a world with a European standard of beauty that tells them their hair, their nose or their figures are not desirable. There is real pain behind those angry reactions. The longest relationship I was in before my wife was with a write women and when I was confronted by other black people about it I made sure not to lash out even though that would be my normal reaction, I always tried to explain that I love my people but that has nothing to do with the romantic connections I make.

 

[lenovox1]

This might seem weird to say, but I'm a white person who's gone out on dates with two black women in the past and both seemed to have some weird internalized racism going on. The first complained about her younger sister being an "SJW" because she held a staged BLM-themed walk out at her school, and the second went on a rant about how she doesn't date black guys. I didn't really know what to say since like, I'm white and I couldn't find a way to really tell both of these women that their attitudes are wrong without seeming like a white savior.

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When I divorced a few years ago before meeting my new girlfriend I was on tinder an other apps as well and a disturbing trend I noticed was some black women who clearly indicated they didnt want to meet black men. That baffled my mind. As a caucasian I went on dates with a few black women and they told me the same, they didnt have any reason for it as well.

It was incredibly disturbing to say the least, why would you refuse to date a certain ethinicty is beyond my comprehension.

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It's not. Those women dated you because you were white, and said what they thought you wanted to hear based on your race, age, and gender.

Congratulations! You were fetishised.

 

[Thanquol]

It's not. Those women dated you because you were white, and said what they thought you wanted to hear based on your race, age, and gender.

Congratulations! You were fetishised.

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Except not, because one of them was married to a white men in the past and had kids with him. Unless her fetish lasted for 15 years.

 

[masud]

Except not, because one of them was married to a white men in the past and had kids with him. Unless her fetish lasted for 15 years.

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You can marry someone you fetishize. Look at mail order brides.

 

[Kino]

From an Asian perspective, there is a sort of purity angle that seems to be present. My aunt and her daughters are super judgemental of Asian women who date or marry white men because they're watering down the genes. They also think Asians who date whites hate themselves and are just trying to be special. Even within the general Asian diaspora though, it's generally preferred to marry someone of your own family ethnicity.

 

[Thanquol]

You can marry someone you fetishize. Look at mail order brides.

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Of course but having a serious relationship and kids with someone you only fetishize? I have an hard time believing that

Both you and I know mail order brides are a completely different thing. Thats for people with money and lacking social skills to meet someone.

 

[Cipherr]

Some of the replies I've seen on Twitter claim that interracial dating apparently comes from a form of self-hate (which I called out as bullshit).

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You have drifted into the loony side of Twitter. Retreat immediately from those fake woke fools. Try not to digest any of the garbage you see there. Avoid it like alt right videos on Youtube.

 

[the_wart]

Of course but having a serious relationship and kids with someone you only fetishize? I have an hard time believing that

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Some relationships are really, really shitty.

 

[Richietto]

I made a thread on this, but you guys didn't want to discuss it then.

how interesting

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Oof what a shitty call on the mods part.

 

[jman1954goat]

I just watched this & I can honestly relate with Rachel on a few levels, especially with regards to not being seen as black despite my skin color. I was constantly called an oreo in high school (black on the outside, white on the inside), especially with regards to how I acted & what I was into (I was more "proper" as they put it, I was a theatre kid who was also in student council.....I still do the former, etc.). But all the same, I'm proud to be black, & my interests with regards to video games/theatre/musical theatre/comics/movies/rock music/Broadway showtunes/etc. don't impact my blackness at all. This issue has gone down a significant amount in college, but it's something I occasionally think back to.

Either way, this was a fantastic video. Thank you for posting it, Tyrant.


My theatre friends in college are mostly black (I don't see much of them now for obvious reasons), though it didn't seem like they cared either way on the topic of interracial dating.

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I know the feeling people often accuse me of "acting white" or sounding white. I'm not trying to be white I'm just trying to be me super frustrating.

 

[Thanquol]

Some relationships are really, really shitty.

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Yeah, that would be if it was the case

 

[Neoxon]

You have drifted into the loony side of Twitter. Retreat immediately from those fake woke fools. Try not to digest any of the garbage you see there. Avoid it like alt right videos on Youtube.

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Duly noted

 

[LilWayneSuckz]

Of course but having a serious relationship and kids with someone you only fetishize? I have an hard time believing that

Both you and I know mail order brides are a completely different thing. Thats for people with money and lacking social skills to meet someone.

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I don't see how this is hard to believe.

 

[Thanquol]

I don't see how this is hard to believe.

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That's disturbing as hell but dont know if it has anything to do with it. So youre telling me from that video alone you can tell someone can have kids and a long lasting relationship with someone who you only fetishize? Im not sold on it

Anyhow it is pretty disturbing, as disturbing as the looks of other white parents who looked at me when I was bringing both of my kids and her kids at the park by myself and treating them like my own kids, you could really see in their eyes that they were judging me and some had condenscending looks. Crazy world we live in

 

[LilWayneSuckz]

That's disturbing as hell but dont know if it has anything to do with it. So youre telling me from that video alone you can tell someone can have kids and a long lasting relationship with someone who you only fetishize? Im not sold on it

Anyhow it is pretty disturbing, as disturbing as the looks of other white parents who looked at me when I was bringing both of my kids and her kids at the park by myself and treating them like my own kids, you could really see in their eyes that they were judging me and some had condenscending looks. Crazy world we live in

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I can't imagine anyone being in a relationship, let alone pro-creating with that person while also being a racist, not being someone who fetishizes that person's race.

If that's how that person feels, then they should do as the other racists tell them to do and "stay within your own race".

 

[Avinash117]

Except not, because one of them was married to a white men in the past and had kids with him. Unless her fetish lasted for 15 years.

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Maybe not entirely fetishizing, but those Black women think White men are of more value then a Black man. Marrying within you race means that you will be part of that community. They probably devalue the community that they were a part of. Being with a White man can be seen as being part of a more successful group.

 

[SpaceCrystal]

Some of the replies I've seen on Twitter claim that interracial dating apparently comes from a form of self-hate (which I called out as bullshit).

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You have drifted into the loony side of Twitter. Retreat immediately from those fake woke fools. Try not to digest any of the garbage you see there. Avoid it like alt right videos on Youtube.

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I agree with both of you. People are people. We all bleed the same color, & that's red.

 

[Thanquol]

Maybe not entirely fetishizing, but those Black women think White men are of more value then a Black man. Marrying within you race means that you will be part of that community. They probably devalue the community that they were a part of. Being with a White man can be seen as being part of a more successful group.

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Then would you say they do it unintentionally? Almost as if it's subconscious? I absolutely get what you're saying now

 

[Thanquol]

I can't imagine anyone being in a relationship, let alone pro-creating with that person while also being a racist, not being someone who fetishizes that person's race.

If that's how that person feels, then they should do as the other racists tell them to do and "stay within your own race".

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I'd go further and tell them to stay alone

 

[RastaMentality]

twitter & this forum aren't exactly the best place to discuss in community issues ❤️

 

[Thanquol]

twitter & this forum aren't exactly the best place to discuss in community issues ❤

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Twitter isn't but why here? Seems kind of inclusive here

I don't think there is any perfect place to discuss this but it needs to be discussed.

I've been called atrocious things by both blacks and whites as a white male while dating black women. There is a lot to work on

 

[RastaMentality]

That's disturbing as hell but dont know if it has anything to do with it. So youre telling me from that video alone you can tell someone can have kids and a long lasting relationship with someone who you only fetishize? Im not sold on it

Anyhow it is pretty disturbing, as disturbing as the looks of other white parents who looked at me when I was bringing both of my kids and her kids at the park by myself and treating them like my own kids, you could really see in their eyes that they were judging me and some had condenscending looks. Crazy world we live in

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You just can't be serious with this post. Racist people have married out of their races for literally decades

Twitter isn't but why here? Seems kind of inclusive here

I don't think there is any perfect place to discuss this but it needs to be discussed.

I've been called atrocious things by both blacks and whites as a white male while dating black women. There is a lot to work on

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discussing black ppl issues on a white forum just gets a lot of white people coming in with posts like yours about how "blacks" (lol?) need to do better without actually engaging with the complexities of the topic

 

[Thanquol]

You just can't be serious with this post. Racist people have married out of their races for literally decades

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Racism means hating another race, explain how to me you can marry someone you hate. I don't get this

 

[RastaMentality]

Racism means hating another race, explain how to me you can marry someone you hate. I don't get this

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You can easily hate black people but think that your black husband is good for his penis and better than other black people. Does that make sense now?

 

[Thanquol]

You can easily hate black people but think that your black husband is good for his penis and better than other black people. Does that make sense now?

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A bit, but that would be selective racism, which is fucking twisted