How a father lost his son to incel culture.

Tahnit · Nov 12, 2018

i was browsing twitter when someone I followed posted this and I can't believe what I read. It's sickening and so sad. Apparently incel "culture" is worse than we thought. Something needs to be done to save these young men from this path. Jesus fucking Christ.

https://www.reddit.com/r/self/comme...d_i_just_cannot_save/?st=JOEHQEN6&sh=51224d8f

It's too long to post here. But...godamn. Something is broken with society.

RedMercury · Nov 12, 2018

This post is so obviously fake it's ridiculous, it's just someone taking the piss. People like this exist but not this story, it's going for too many tropes.

SwampBastard · Nov 12, 2018

I saw this over the weekend. Pretty disgusting stuff. Added another item to the laundry list of reasons I'm glad my wife and I chose not to have children.

hydrophilic attack · Nov 12, 2018

incels are the fucking worst

Deleted member 1635 · Nov 12, 2018

RedMercury said:
This post is so obviously fake it's ridiculous, it's just someone taking the piss. People like this exist but not this story, it's going for too many tropes.

Yeah... it really does read like some random progressive person in their 20s wrote up a twisted fantasy about having an incel child. I just can't imagine that is a post from a father with a nearly 20-year old child.

shadowsdarknes · Nov 12, 2018

RedMercury said:
This post is so obviously fake it's ridiculous, it's just someone taking the piss. People like this exist but not this story, it's going for too many tropes.

It's possible. But shit like this is indeed happening everywhere to some extent. The incels we read about clearly have stressed relationships with their families and often use verbal and physical violence to lash out or make a point.
I'd say most tropes probably apply to most incels.

Driggonny · Nov 12, 2018

It just keeps going and going lol I'm skeptical

astro · Nov 12, 2018

RedMercury said:
This post is so obviously fake it's ridiculous, it's just someone taking the piss. People like this exist but not this story, it's going for too many tropes.

It could be, but this is extreme behaviour so even the most realistic accounts are going to seem ridiculous. It's perfectly possible someone like this exists.

Hollywood Duo · Nov 12, 2018

If its real (doubtful) then the father is 100% to blame. You don't just become an incel. Just like people don't just become terrorists. They have to already have sympathies for various reasons and someone radicalizes you.

Zeb · Nov 12, 2018

I don't know but it sounds like fake. People like this do exist though.

Deleted member 1635 · Nov 12, 2018

The person should have written it from the perspective of the little sister if they wanted half of that to be believable.

Deleted member 2834 · Nov 12, 2018

Incels are pathetic, but I'm not sure about this story

excelsiorlef · Nov 12, 2018

Tahnit said:
Apparently incel "culture" is worse than we thought.

No offense but who is we here

I've been screaming about for ages.

TheRuralJuror · Nov 12, 2018

I actually read that one. Awful to read, but I admit, it did seem like a bogus story.

Dreams-Visions · Nov 12, 2018

jesus h. christ.

sounds like he did his best with his son, but the pull of Incel thinking and culture was stronger than his grip on his son's hand. I hope he doesn't blame himself.

excelsiorlef · Nov 12, 2018

Hollywood Duo said:
If its real (doubtful) then the father is 100% to blame. You don't just become an incel. Just like people don't just become terrorists. They have to already have sympathies for various reasons and someone radicalizes you.

Not really. The internet unsupervised is all that's needed.

Seesaw15 · Nov 12, 2018

I tried mentoring him man-to-man, taking him on camping trips and whatnot and talking to him about women and girls and trying to give him advice. I suggested he try showering, changing up his hair and facial hair styles, trying out different fashion styles, maybe going to the gym.

This is so absurdly generic. Either this father is a piece of cardboard or this was written by an 18 year old reddit poster trying to sound like a parent. "My boy."

Well if people learn a positive lesson from this more power to them.

Tagyhag · Nov 12, 2018

I remember reading this and I'm sorry, I just can't buy it.

Yes, incels can be this hateful (See Elliot Rodgers) but this story reads like a Lifetime movie with every single trope imaginable.

The only thing it was missing was a dog who barked at the guy while he was trying to abuse his sister which the guy kicked and ended up killing the dog.

Gobias-Ind · Nov 12, 2018

True or not, the threat of my hypothetical children turning out like this is sufficient motivation to never have children.

I have nowhere near enough patience and unconditional love to deal with a racist incel teenager in my house.

HarryHengst · Nov 12, 2018

Hollywood Duo said:
If its real (doubtful) then the father is 100% to blame. You don't just become an incel. Just like people don't just become terrorists. They have to already have sympathies for various reasons and someone radicalizes you.

Some people just cant be saved. The internet makes it way too easy to radicalize if you start out with ''why wont this hot girl from school date me'' and end up in incel forums.

BWoog · Nov 12, 2018

Jesus. That's some nightmare fuel right there.

Hollywood Duo · Nov 12, 2018

Dreams-Visions said:
jesus h. christ.

sounds like he did his best with his son, but the pull of Incel thinking and culture was stronger than his grip on his son's hand. I hope he doesn't blame himself.

He may have done his best but he still completely failed as a parent and a role model.

excelsiorlef said:
Not really. The internet unsupervised is all that's needed.

Well, if you are letting a young teenager unsupervised on the internet all the time with no context then that is a big issue.

HarryHengst said:
Some people just cant be saved. The internet makes it way too easy to radicalize if you start out with ''why wont this hot girl from school date me'' and end up in incel forums.

If their father figure role model is terrible then yeah it is way too easy.

sayuuna · Nov 12, 2018

I didn't feel it was fake so apparently I have no idea what these people are/are capable of in reality

'3y Kingdom · Nov 12, 2018

Hollywood Duo said:
If its real (doubtful) then the father is 100% to blame. You don't just become an incel. Just like people don't just become terrorists. They have to already have sympathies for various reasons and someone radicalizes you.

Even good parents can produce psychopathic children.

Blent · Nov 12, 2018

Having read the whole thing, it feels like a checklist of literally every incel 'trope' I could think of.

I don't actually believe it's genuine, partly because it's Reddit after all, but also a lot because I don't want to believe it's real.

EDIT: Regardless of whether it's real or not though, the more important thing is that we recognise incel behaviour as a society and talk about how to help stop impressionable young men turning to that behaviour.

Pimienta · Nov 12, 2018

snacknuts said:
I saw this over the weekend. Pretty disgusting stuff. Added another item to the laundry list of reasons I'm glad my wife and I chose not to have children.

Normal men don't get into incel culture.

dude · Nov 12, 2018

This is clearly fake IMO.

We asked if she would like to have a question-free steady supply of condoms left in her bathroom drawer

For a girl who's 12? And this is mentioned entirely out of the blue.

astro · Nov 12, 2018

excelsiorlef said:
No offense but who is we here

I've been screaming about for ages.

Th average person, obviously? Of course you've been screaming about it for ages, you've been tuned into it for ages.

BUNTING1243 · Nov 12, 2018

Yeah as someone who studies this kinda internet culture for work and has had multiple siblings flirt with it, a lot of this strikes me as too on-the-nose to be real. Not to say elements of it aren't happening in huge numbers, which is absolutely true.

StrapOnFetus · Nov 12, 2018

Honestly I cannot tell if it is real or fake.

I seen a Incel forum after watching a documentary about it. Just filled with the most vile and sexist things you can imagine.

Deleted member 1635 · Nov 12, 2018

I wonder what the motivation is behind the person who came up with this nonsense. Is it some attempt to portray people who fall into incel culture as being broken from the start? That they have something fundamentally wrong with them that even the most perfectly progressive and understanding loving parents cannot prevent from surfacing?

astro · Nov 12, 2018

BUNTING1243 said:
Yeah as someone who studies this kinda internet culture for work and has had multiple siblings flirt with it, a lot of this strikes me as too on-the-nose to be real. Not to say elements of it aren't happening in huge numbers, which is absolutely true.

An extreme like this will likely exist, though. So while this very well might be fake it's also potentially possible.

I Am Captain America · Nov 12, 2018

Yeah I don't know if it was just me but going through it you get the feeling this sounds fake and coming from a 20 year olds mouth you've been played OP

Hollywood Duo · Nov 12, 2018

'3y Kingdom said:
Even good parents can produce psychopathic children.

Considering being psychopathic is a mental illness...sure. An attentive parent would probably notice that a child showed very little to no empathy and get them help.

Dreams-Visions · Nov 12, 2018

Hollywood Duo said:
He may have done his best but he still completely failed as a parent and a role model.

Nah. His son was already broken. He was sniffing panties at 14. By most accounts listed, he was a good dad. Though I would have put him out the first time he swole his chest up at his mother or made a pass at his sister's friends. But even then...would that help or harm the kid, leaving him to his own devices on his own?

If there was clear failure, it would have been not locking down the internet fully from the very beginning. But most parents fail at that.

excelsiorlef · Nov 12, 2018

astro said:
Th average person, obviously? Of course you've been screaming about it for ages, you've been tuned into it for ages.

I just don't like this who could have known it's this bad.

Incels have committed several mass killings already.

Seesaw15 · Nov 12, 2018

I wiped the hard drive completely and began strictly monitoring his online activity. I used parental filters to block incel sites and and porn sites that hosted cartoon porn.

This dad wiped the hard drive and blocked all the cartoon porn!? What a pro.

Deleted member 41271 · Nov 12, 2018

Tahnit said:
was browsing twitter when someone I followed posted this and I can't believe what I read. It's sickening and so sad. Apparently incel "culture" is worse than we thought.

+

Nah, some of us have been talking about these guys since 2013. Usually told to shut up and stop being uppity, while everyone falls over each other to have sympathy for the incels while they throw out death threats.

As for this story, could be real. Real incels acted in ways that make less sense. Is it real? Who knows. Remember, we're dealing with people that prefer hentai images over real women, and hate real women for not being their slaves.

astro · Nov 12, 2018

excelsiorlef said:
I just don't like this who could have known it's this bad.

Incels have committed several mass killings already.

Well, it's an assumption that that's what they meant. I get your frustration, though, I've been tuned into this for longer too, as I have many social issues, and it often feels like too little too late when we come around to discussing them on a broader stage.

Hollywood Duo · Nov 12, 2018

Dreams-Visions said:
Nah. His son was already broken. He was sniffing panties at 14.

If there was clear failure, it would have been not locking down the internet fully from the very beginning. But most parents fail at that.

There is no excuse for that anymore. Maybe 20 years ago. To fail at supervising internet usage is to fail at being a parent. The tools are there and are simple to use.

Dreams-Visions · Nov 12, 2018

Seesaw15 said:
This dad wiped the hard drive and blocked all the cartoon porn!? What a pro.

unfortunately he forgot that phones come with data plans...

Hollywood Duo said:
There is no excuse for that anymore. Maybe 20 years ago.

I don't have any kids, but most parents I know would have to go to the Geek Squad if their home network stopped working for any reason, never mind setting up advanced website and IP address filtering.

Like, let's be real. This dad has to be in his what? 50s - 60s? I think you're off-base making that assumption (that it's unacceptable of parents don't know how to lock down their internet).

Stouffers · Nov 12, 2018

I saw this a few days ago and still have a hard time believing it's completely true. Some items are a bit too on the nose or extreme, BUT if true, yikes.

'3y Kingdom · Nov 12, 2018

Hollywood Duo said:
Considering being psychopathic is a mental illness...sure. An attentive parent would probably notice that a child showed very little to no empathy and get them help.

If this account is real, the father wiped his kid's hard drive, restricted his son's computer usage, enabled parental controls, and found at least two therapists. That's not inattentive, not by a long shot.

AliceAmber · Nov 12, 2018

I'm going to take it at face value. What a horrible read, that poor family.

Beer Monkey · Nov 12, 2018

It's been going on eight years since a friend of mine tied a rope to his ceiling fan fixture and hung himself to death. This was after a really intense couple of years studying PUA/redpill stuff as a lifestyle/philosophy - not as a way to be more outgoing or confident, but as an ideal that women are broken human beings that destroy men. He felt a tiny percent of all the men had 100% of the sex and that we was deprived of the ability to have sex. He finally got a tall, pretty girlfriend, which was his goal, and when she cheated/left he committed suicide.

Not a fake story, and not recent. This stuff isn't new.

Bernd Lauert · Nov 12, 2018

Reads like r/inceltears fan fiction tbh.

astro · Nov 12, 2018

It doesn't matter if it's fake, imo.

There are incels whose make-up includes "only" 2-3 of these examples, perhaps sometimes even 1-2, or even 1... and even as individual aspects these things are abhorrent and dangerous.

Even if this is fake, it's highlighting just how obscene this movement is as a whole.

Hollywood Duo · Nov 12, 2018

'3y Kingdom said:
If this account is real, the father wiped his kid's hard drive, restricted his son's computer usage, enabled parental controls, and found at least two therapists. That's not inattentive, not by a long shot.

If the account is real, he let this shit happen for at least 3 years. It is inattentive.

excelsiorlef · Nov 12, 2018

Hollywood Duo said:
There is no excuse for that anymore. Maybe 20 years ago. To fail at supervising internet usage is to fail at being a parent. The tools are there and are simple to use.

99% of parents are probably failures than

RedMercury · Nov 12, 2018

I should say that while I believe this specific story is made up and while the person who wrote it got a good laugh, ultimately it did a lot of good, I've seen it circulated and people are using it as a sort of flashpoint to where they are aware of the depths of depravity of incels and their culture. All the elements of the story taken as a whole are not true, but individually they are all things that really happen, and hopefully parents see it and can be familiar with hat signs to look for.

How a father lost his son to incel culture.

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