How do I aproach my partner to suggest... a threesome?

Oct 30, 2017
8,762
Idk but this is how my wife did it.

Brings hot friend over to house. We start drinking. Hot friend looks at me and says “she wants me to suck your dick. That’s why I’m here” and then shit happened

They had that shit planned for weeks.

In short get yourself a cool fun partner
"he wants me to fuck you, thats why im here"

im sure that'll go over great
 

Zen

Member
Nov 1, 2017
2,204
Can't help you OP since this would be a no go for me and my girl. Then again she has said before that if a kpop star ever propositioned her she'd do them in a heartbeat. Dunno if that means it's okay for me to do a celebrity if I have the chance or what

She's probably kidding...maybe...
 
Oct 25, 2017
772
can be difficult, you need to ease your partner into that question. like, play some board game only the two of you. say, it's fun but it would be much better if there were more players. when they go "heh, yeah I agree." - that's when you ask the question of what else could be fun with other players. basically, let them bring up the idea of a threesome!
 
Oct 25, 2017
700
I know couples, some married.. some not who started monogamous and ended up being non-monogamous or open. One way one couple did it was by trying to date another couple first. You don't have to touch each other but could do same room play at first until you get more comfortable. My relationship was always established we wanted to be non-monogamous so we go on dates with couples and a bunch of dates with single people. it's all about communication and being honest. You'd be surprised how a lot of people feel this way.Also don't be a jealous prick.

But ya download the app "FEELD" on your phone. It's a lifestyle app a lot of people use.
 
Oct 25, 2017
10,158
Idk but this is how my wife did it.

Brings hot friend over to house. We start drinking. Hot friend looks at me and says “she wants me to suck your dick. That’s why I’m here” and then shit happened

They had that shit planned for weeks.

In short get yourself a cool fun partner
 
Oct 25, 2017
6,248
can be difficult, you need to ease your partner into that question. like, play some board game only the two of you. say, it's fun but it would be much better if there were more players. when they go "heh, yeah I agree." - that's when you ask the question of what else could be fun with other players. basically, let them bring up the idea of a threesome!
Shit, just get a Ouija board.



"Should we have a Threesome?"

/push the arrow to yes, HARD and FAST, and then look at your partner like Satan looking at a lost soul
 
Oct 26, 2017
10,525
Montreal
this falls into open/closed relationships, something that should have been talked about from the beginning.

if your partner is okay with an open relationship then yeah, if not not then don't go for the threesome
 
Oct 25, 2017
7,573
I am not an expert or psychiatrist but from what I know of the theories and opinions of the worlds only known psychoanalyst and psychotherapist (i.e. analrapist), Dr. Tobias Funke, open relationships and threesomes never work out and are usually a cry from help.
 
Oct 25, 2017
9,101
Watch a couple of those Playboy episodes of foursome or whatever it was called where the dude gets completely humiliated and insecure. Then self insert as him.

If you can make it past that, you're good to even start kind of thinking about the mere suggestion I guess.
 
Oct 25, 2017
175
There are plenty of ways to spice up your relationship that don't involve bringing others in. I'd consider doing those and seeing if they scratch that "something new" itch before attempting to make a totally closed relationship into something else. You two have had a basic understanding for 3.5 years. That's a significant amount of time and it's quite possible that your partner will be stunned by your desire. (Of course, there is always the possibility that they love it. But since you two guys don't apparently talk about this stuff with each other, I'm just going with the odds.)

Anyway, the danger with the threesome is that you could show (or your partner thinks you show) more interest in the new person than your own partner. If this happens, it can ruin the relationship no matter how many reassurances you to try to make.

Also, if you're a heterosexual couple, you need to be ready for the possibility that your girl will want to be fucked by other dudes. I'm gay, but I know that many straight guys have a difficult time with the idea. It may start out as bringing a second girl into the bedroom, but fair is fair, and your girl may eventually want some new dick. If you can't handle the thought, don't even begin to head down this path.
 
Feb 19, 2018
1,559
We have been together for almost 3.5 years now, and I feel like it would be a... nice experience to shake things up?

I am not sure it is a good idea but I am kind of into it... but I am also at a very horny phase of my life so maybe I am thinking too much with the d.

People who already did it... is it worth it?

EDIT: MODS PLS HALP I THOUGHT I WAS IN THE ETCTERA PART
Know your girl and figure out if she is Bi or not. If she is than you can bring up a bit easier. But for real don't push it. I fell into my weird relationship because my girl likes to watch as her fetish.

Not everyone is that lucky or have a partner who is into it
 
Jan 23, 2019
78
We have been together for almost 3.5 years now, and I feel like it would be a... nice experience to shake things up?

I am not sure it is a good idea but I am kind of into it... but I am also at a very horny phase of my life so maybe I am thinking too much with the d.

People who already did it... is it worth it?

EDIT: MODS PLS HALP I THOUGHT I WAS IN THE ETCTERA PART
Don’t do it
 
Oct 27, 2017
1,368
I'm going to assume you're thinking "Bring another girl in, hot stuff, wooo!" but you'd have to be prepared for her to actually want another guy involved which may not be part of your plan? In which case you're basically ruining the relationship.
 
1, you should know whether your partner is into that from the start of the relationship. 2, you can do plenty of things to shake up your sex life with your partner that doesn't involve another person, going from vanilla sex to such an extreme isn't necessary.

The big thing here is are you bringing in another girl or guy? Are you a guy or girl? What about your partner? Are you or them straight/bi/gay? Like I can't imagine it going well if you are both straight as someone would be reaping the benefits of both people and the other, well, doesn't, unless you're into that.

Just don't ask, you can do plenty to spice things up. Try anal or something, its great.
 
Jan 19, 2018
447
you should know whether your partner is into that from the start of the relationship
I've seen this a couple times now, but that's not always true.

Yeah, if it was just a couple months into a relationship, they probably were into it before getting started and should have told you, but if you are multiple years into a relationship, people change and, while they may not have been into it initially, they are now...or are at least curious now.
 
Oct 30, 2017
5,323
Ideally you'd have a partner who makes you feel that you can be completely open about your desires. If you're not that fortunate, you'll have to think of a diplomatic way to bring up the possibility of having a threesome.

The reaction you can expect depends on your partner's attitude toward sex. If they're totally vanilla, have a lower libido than you do, or they've shown no interest in spicing things up in the time you've been together, a threesome might be a difficult sell.

Maybe you could test the waters by watching porn together and trying new bedroom activities. Determine how sexually adventurous or conservative your partner is before suggesting a threesome. Some people are just plain unwilling or unable to see an extra sexual partner as anything besides a threat to their relationship, or a sign that they're not good enough.

I thought there was gonna be a twist but it's just a perv thread on the wrong side boo
Very sex positive to label this a perv thread. Well done.
 
I've seen this a couple times now, but that's not always true.

Yeah, if it was just a couple months into a relationship, they probably were into it before getting started and should have told you, but if you are multiple years into a relationship, people change and, while they may not have been into it initially, they are now...or are at least curious now.
Oh yeah of course
 
Oct 27, 2017
400
Ideally you'd have a partner who makes you feel that you can be completely open about your desires. If you're not that fortunate, you'll have to think of a diplomatic way to bring up the possibility of having a threesome.

The reaction you can expect depends on your partner's attitude toward sex. If they're totally vanilla, have a lower libido than you do, or they've shown no interest in spicing things up in the time you've been together, a threesome might be a difficult sell.

Maybe you could test the waters by watching porn together and trying new bedroom activities. Determine how sexually adventurous or conservative your partner is before suggesting a threesome. Some people are just plain unwilling or unable to see an extra sexual partner as anything besides a threat to their relationship, or a sign that they're not good enough.


Very sex positive to label this a perv thread. Well done.
All good advise. Honestly the OP didn't give nearly enough info for good ideas. We need to know much more about the other person to give good ideas.
 
Nov 9, 2017
1,000
One should make sure that their partner is amiable to the idea before bringing it up. If not it could just come across as being bored with your current partner or wanting to have sex with someone else because things currently aren't good enough as is. Feelings could be hurt pretty bad.
 
Oct 25, 2017
2,648
Sing her a song:

Well, you could bring your roommate
I don't know if Stu is keen to
But if you want, we could double team you

How 'bout you and two dudes?
Him, you, and Stu in the nude
Bein' lewd with two dudes for food
Well, that's if Stu's into it too
Using Flight of the Concords to initiate a threesome. What could possibly go wrong? (leave your socks on)
 
Oct 25, 2017
129
Maybe I run in weird circles but being perverted doesn't have a negative connotation among my peers.
Perversion and it's etymological siblings are inherently describing things that are unnatural/unacceptable/unreasonable. It's the definition of the word
 
Jan 19, 2018
447
Maybe I run in weird circles but being perverted doesn't have a negative connotation among my peers.
I get where you're coming from. I don't consider it negative by default either, but most people I know do.

Like, I'll tell my SOs that they're pervy, but that's in a good way. A lot of people consider "pervy" to be negative though.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,168
Canada
It's a tricky situation. I've had one threesome with a gay couple.

I had a lot of fun, but I was the outsider joining. It's a different ballgame if you're in the relationship. I imagine it's difficult even bringing it up.