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How do I aproach my partner to suggest... a threesome?

Deleted member 925

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,711
Communicate.

The boyfriend and I had a few threesomes here and there, even a foursome with another gay couple we've become friends with. It's fun, just make sure you're safe and on the same page.
 
AlexFlame116

AlexFlame116

Prophet of Truth - One Winged Slayer
Member
Nov 17, 2017
23,177
Utah
The Awesomest said:
Hold up, what is this?

On topic: Uh, listen to the people in this thread, OP.
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All official lol
 
sibarraz

sibarraz

Prophet of Regret - One Winged Slayer
Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
18,094
A threesome should be proposed only after you are 100% sure that your partner is into it after a casual conversation, asking directly for it seems like a bad idea.

Also, there are a lot of factors too, like are you going to hire a sex worker, some random hookup through a dating site, a close friend? issues with the gender of the third member?

I would only do this if both of you are 100% sure on what both want
 
Kanann

Kanann

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,170
We 2 hate other human being so much, it may be fun if we trying to do that thing lol
 
daft_cat

daft_cat

Self-requested ban.
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Oct 27, 2017
195
Assuming you're a guy, would you feel alright about watching your girlfriend have her mind blown by some other dude while you tried your best to keep up?

If not, it's not exactly fair for you to put her in the same position with another woman unless she's really into it (and I imagine if she was, you'd know - especially after 3 and a half years of dating).
 
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Ding Dong Daddy

Member
Nov 13, 2017
933
Use the same amount of elipses like in your post when you ask. Since you should ask her in person, say the dot dot dot out loud.
 
Royalan

Royalan

I can say DEI; you can't.
Moderator
Oct 24, 2017
11,927
Well, first thing's first, OP...you know your partner better than we do. Is a threesome something they'd be open to? Because I'd be careful about how you bring this up. If they're not the type of be open to the idea, proposing it out-of-the-blue could potentially lead to a lot of paranoia about the stability of your relationship.
 
Camells

Camells

The Forgotten One
Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,056
Oh boy don't do this.
Unless you got a history with that or she/or he already mentioned something like that i'm pretty sure you can end up on a really tricky situation lmao

And you have to account for future issues because the balance between both of you will suffer a bit. Another thing to consider is like today we do it with another women but tomorrow i want with another guy and vice versa (otherwise your not being fair)

Tricky, really tricky.

You can always go for that Lan Party but you should anticipate which broadband issues you going to have.
Is your Internet provider good enough?
 
finalflame

finalflame

Product Management
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
8,538
Sure, as long as it's cool if another dude also smashes your wife. Tit for tat, and all.
 
Mercurial

Mercurial

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
985
You don't. Your girlfriend either suggests it or it is never given life by being spoken aloud. It's not even a sure thing even if she recommends it as you've got to react to that inquiry/idea correctly. If you navigate that minefield, you're still not clear: you make sure your girlfriend is attended to on perhaps a 70:30 or 80:20 ratio with your attention.

Given that you botched the creation of this thread, you're not off to a good start.
 
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Deleted member 33533

Banned
Nov 17, 2017
12,864
Broken Joystick said:
Literally just ask.
Like. "Have you ever wanted a threesome/have you ever considered a threesome/have you ever fantasied about a threesome?"

The answer is either going to be yes or no.

Then they'll likely ask you the same. To which you should reply honestly.

If both yes, have fun and list potential friends or people you'd think would be down.

I can see why a lot of posters are cautious but to say this is some sort of relationship breaker is ridiculous.
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I think it can certainly break a relationship. Remember we have no context for OP's relationship. Imagine if they're having problems in the bedroom and OP asks about a threesome. That's just going to sound like OP doesn't find their partner attractive and/or is bored of having sex with them and just wants to fuck someone new. It can easily make the other person feel like they're inadequate and poison the relationship leading it to an inevitable death. If OP's partner is against it, they aren't going to forget it. Though I suppose there's a point to be made that if it does come to that, cracks were already there.
 
finalflame

finalflame

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Oct 27, 2017
8,538
Bobo Dakes said:
And then what if the dude is much better at satisfying your wife.
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Right, and his dick is twice as thick and big as yours, too. And she orgasms while riding him multiple times.

If you can honestly say none of these would cause you any insecurity or anxiety whatsoever, you might be a good fit for a problem-free threesome and should approach your SO about it. If not, then you're a hypocrite and/or unprepared for the sexual and emotional dynamics at play here.
 
Flaurehn

Flaurehn

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,359
Mexico City
You need to trust your partner and communicate with her/him, don't aproach it like is a serious issue, just something to do for fun. Also since it seems would be your first time: DON'T suggest someone you know, either let your partner throw a name on it or go with like an escort or something
 

Deleted member 11985

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
4,168
Ah yes, the old quarter based game of devil's triangle. You should probably not ask about it, unless your significant other is already a confirmed kinky person.
 
daft_cat

daft_cat

Self-requested ban.
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Oct 27, 2017
195
finalflame said:
If not, then you're a hypocrite and/or unprepared for the sexual and emotional dynamics at play here.
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Yupp. As a general rule (i.e, for most people), a threesome works best when all three partners involved are casual. Watching someone you're in love with bone someone else (or vice versa) is bound to cause issues for one or more parties unless you're in an open relationship and/or can easily emotionally detach from sex.
 
Netherscourge

Netherscourge

Member
Oct 25, 2017
18,902
Suggesting this to your partner will probably end your relationship.

Because they might think you're getting bored with them.
 

Deleted member 44129

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May 29, 2018
7,690
What if the 3rd person is a 24 stone Trump supporting trucket in a MAGA hat who rides your missus while yelling "Libtard Cuck!"
 
Elandyll

Elandyll

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
8,806
Bobo Dakes said:
And then what if the dude is much better at satisfying your wife.
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Let's not be sexist though...

What if the woman is much better at satisfying his wife?

Now... For "most" guys thinking threesome, it plays like this in their head:

- Honey, would you possibly be into a threesome with... another woman?
- Why, I have been thinking about it, absolutely. But who to ask?
- Well, don't you have women colleagues who could be into it?
- Now that you mention it, Sharon was telling me her dream is to have a threesome some day! And she is gorgeous and totally bi I think!

They never think
- Honey, would you possibly be into a threesome with... another woman?
- Uh, no, I'm not into women. But as you bring that up, I could be into it with another guy...
- Uh... I guess... It's fair. I don't really know anyo...
- Oh that's ok! Mark from accounting would totally like to! I'll get in touch with him!
- Uh... Ok... But...
- And... Honey... You don't mind if at some point we do our own thing right? I've been totally thinking about doing him for months... And then I'd like to just watch you two going at it, I know he's bi. It's going to be fun!
- ...

But more seriously, after just 3 years in a relation, needing to bring someone else...

Eh. Tread carrefully, and perhaps think about where you two are in regard to intimacy with each other.
Plenty of ways to 'spice things up' without bringing potentially emotionally hurting 3rd parties imo.
 

Deleted member 4034

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Oct 25, 2017
26,560
Elandyll said:
Let's not be sexist though...

What if the woman is much better at satisfying his wife?

Now... For "most" guys thinking threesome, it plays like this in their head:

- Honey, would you possibly be into a threesome with... another woman?
- Why, I have been thinking about it, absolutely. But who to ask?
- Well, don't you have women colleagues who could be into it?
- Now that you mention it, Sharon was telling me her dream is to have a threesome some day! And she is gorgeous and totally bi I think!

They never think
- Honey, would you possibly be into a threesome with... another woman?
- Uh, no, I'm not into women. But as you bring that up, I could be into it with another guy...
- Uh... I guess... It's fair. I don't really know anyo...
- Oh that's ok! Mark from accounting would totally like to! I'll get in touch with him!
- Uh... Ok... But...
- And... Honey... You don't mind if at some point we do our own thing right? I've been totally thinking about doing him for months... And then I'd like to just watch you two going at it, I know he's bi. It's going to be fun!
- ...

But more seriously, after just 3 years in a relation, needing to bring someone else...

Eh. Tread carrefully, and perhaps think about where you two are in regard to intimacy with each other.
Plenty of ways to 'spice things up' without bringing potentially emotionally hurting 3rd parties imo.
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How was that sexist. Someone else said dude and wife (I don't think the OP is married) and I played off their hypothetical?
 
Alucrid

Alucrid

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Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,411
i don't get why people are all mad at the op. maybe he just wants to get two partners for his wife while he watches in the corner.
 
Golden

Golden

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Dec 9, 2018
928
Straightforward emotional blackmail.

"you don't love me if you don't let me bring a striper into our relationship" etc etc

That works 111‰of the time and it's the politest way to do it.

(/s)
 
crienne

crienne

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,166
Three years and it's never come up before? Thin ice, my dude. My girlfriend and I are nearing four years and we discussed this sort of thing within the first few months (neither of us are interested in that sort of thing tbh).
 
Netherscourge

Netherscourge

Member
Oct 25, 2017
18,902
Always run the scenario through your head with the roles reversed and think about how you would react to a proposal like that.

If your partner asked if YOU would like to invite someone THEY wanted to screw to bed:

1. Is your partner getting bored with your love life?
2. Does your partner really want to screw some other person, but is trying to find some sort of fair way to do it without having to cheat outright?
3. Will you be constantly comparing yourself to the other person or worrying about your partner forming a deeper relationship with them?

Now - if you would have negative feelings to those questions if your partner proposed the same thing to you, you should figure that your partner would probably be thinking the same exact thing about you if you asked THEM about it.
 
junomars

junomars

Banned
Nov 19, 2018
723
My advice is don't. Or if you do have one don't even look at the other chick for too long. The girlfriend/wife in the threesome tends to have her spirit crushed by her partner enjoying another woman. It aint worth it if you actually like/love her.
 
Magoo

Magoo

Member
Oct 28, 2017
2,229
UK
I have a friend that was about the same amount of time into his relationship when he suggested it to his girlfriend.

She eventually said yes.

He was ignored all the way through the three way and a few months later she left him after he found out she was cheating on him with the other girl.

Good luck though!
 
Donos

Donos

Member
Nov 15, 2017
6,520
Like many said, very tricky approaching that and it really depends on the partner. If you ask and she is a bit insecure maybe she thinks that she doesn't satisfy you anymore/enough and you need further /extra stimuli. Then it's straight downhill. But only you can asses this since we don't know your partner.
 
Yams

Yams

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,841
Idk but this is how my wife did it.

Brings hot friend over to house. We start drinking. Hot friend looks at me and says "she wants me to suck your dick. That's why I'm here" and then shit happened

They had that shit planned for weeks.

In short get yourself a cool fun partner
 

Deleted member 4034

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
26,560
Yams said:
Idk but this is how my wife did it.

Brings hot friend over to house. We start drinking. Hot friend looks at me and says "she wants me to suck your dick. That's why I'm here" and then shit happened

They had that shit planned for weeks.

In short get yourself a cool fun partner
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What was the next day like?

Was that a one time thing?
 
Yams

Yams

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,841
Bobo Dakes said:
What was the next day like?

Was that a one time thing?
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We had breakfast and her friend left. It was pretty normal.

We had another threesome on our wedding night in Jan. I think we have another one in the works with an ex-coworker friend of hers.

It's an open relationship too. So that makes everything easier
 
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