I read the book 10% Happier by Dan Harris first. It kind of made me look at meditation in a different way, as Harris takes a more investigative journalism approach to the study. That kind of opened me up to meditation, and I started following the guided meditations in their app. I did end up getting the subscription, which I know you're trying to avoid, but felt like it was worth it to try it out for a year.
I still don't have a complete dedication to the practice. I meditate 4-5 times a week, and it was really frustrating at the beginning, as I was struggling with a lot of the same questions you're posing. I'd like to try and get to at least once a day, and so far this year, I've been a bit better (last year, I was averaging 2-3 time a week, and sometimes letting whole weeks go by without meditating). I guess the moment it "clicked" for me, was one really stressful day at work, I was getting worked up, pacing in frustration, and feeling really anxious. Then I just stopped, became aware of how I was feeling, and slowly calmed down, whereas normally, I probably would have carried the anxiety with me all day or at least most of the day and affected how I approached finding a solution to the problem. I still get caught up, it's not a cure-all, but just being able to catch myself feeling certain ways, when otherwise I wouldn't have, has convinced me it's worth sticking to. It's not fun to do, but feel like I've seen the benefits.
One big thing to keep in mind is that when you become distracted during meditation, that's not failing. The success is realizing when you're distracted and carried away and then coming back to the breath, as you're becoming more mindful of getting lost in thought.
Another app that was recommended to me was Insight Timer. I've downloaded it, but haven't checked it out yet.
