I’m tired of being sad

[MrConbon210]

My boyfriend left me about 10 days ago at this point and I'm sick of being upset about it. I try to not think about him but he eventually comes to mind and I get an overwhelming sense of guilt wash over me.

I really loved this guy. I don't open myself up to people like that very often. He was the first person I met at my new dream job and he made me feel excited to go into work everyday and see him.

I'm not gonna act like I did things right 24/7 but I tried to do the best that I could. I admitted my mistakes and worked hard not to repeat them. Everyone at work always mentioned how perfect we were together and as a newer employee, I was thrilled to have a strong sense of self. We signed up for the same sports team that our work sponsored and he became a huge part of my life.

Now I get upset having to walk into the break room hoping that I don't have to see him. He looks so happy and like nothing has changed. My bosses knew we were together and they can tell that I'm upset. I'm tired of people asking why I didn't go to such and such the previous night and I have to explain that I'm no longer invited to those events anymore. Some coworkers are good friends with him and straight up refuse to acknowledge my presence anymore.

But I still love him so much. I redownloaded tinder hoping I could see the other "fish in the sea" but none of them are him. I can't help to put all this blame on me.

I tried to make him happy but in the end all I did was ruin our relationship. I'm so tired of being sad and crying constantly. I try to get my mind off it, hang out with people, and such. But I'm constantly reminded that I failed the person I love.

I'm not gonna do anything drastic but I honestly feel like I destroyed a large part of my identity.

 

[Kinggroin]

It's going to hurt a while, but keeping talking to friends and family—stay active. Don't shell up. Do things that aren't things you did together, so that this way you can rebuild your own identity. I promise you'll heal eventually.

 

[Deleted member 18944]

Time heals all is the only type of unsolicited advice I have. You will make it through this and come out on top.

 

[TaySan]

Time heals all wounds. Keep doing you and stay active to keep your mind off of it. Things will get better and you will find someone even better in your life before you know it! :)

 

[Officer Big Mac]

Time heals all is the only type of unsolicited advice I have. You will make it through this and come out on top.

Click to shrink...

OP could be a bottom

 

[MrConbon210]

It's going to hurt a while, but keeping talking to friends and family—stay active. Don't shell up. Do things that aren't things you did together, so that this way you can rebuild your own identity. I promise you'll heal eventually.

Click to shrink...

My only friends are my coworkers who I work with and my family is across the country. I hate having to talk to my friends about how I feel because I'm afraid they're sick of it and someone will spill that info down to my ex.

That was a large reason for him leaving me. I like to talk through any issues I may have to gain the opinions of others and people started saying things to my ex.

 

[PlanetSmasher]

My only friends are my coworkers who I work with and my family is across the country. I hate having to talk to my friends about how I feel because I'm afraid they're sick of it and someone will spill that info down to my ex.

That was a large reason for him leaving me. I like to talk through any issues I may have to gain the opinions of others and people started saying things to my ex.

Click to shrink...

What kinds of hobbies do you have outside of work? Is there anything you can do for yourself to try and meet new people so that your life doesn't revolve entirely around people who know you in context with that relationship? A class, a club, something completely divorced from your job?

 

[-JD-]

Been there. Try picking up a hobby or some kind of self-improvement activity (gym, etc). You won't believe how much faster you'll feel about yourself if you commit to, well, yourself.

 

[MrConbon210]

What kinds of hobbies do you have outside of work? Is there anything you can do for yourself to try and meet new people so that your life doesn't revolve entirely around people who know you in context with that relationship? A class, a club, something completely divorced from your job?

Click to shrink...

Any clubs I'm in my boyfriend was also a part of. We share the same interests and that's why I thought the relationship worked out so well. I try doing my interests now but it just makes me more upset to do them alone. I'm in school but that doesn't start until late August.

 

[SolVanderlyn]

Let me tell you a snippet of my own story. I broke up with my last girlfriend eight years ago. EIGHT. I wasn't able to get over it until I sat down and talked about it with a friend who knew us both for a long time, and that was very recently.

Is this normal? No. But if you let your feelings stew like they are it can happen to you too. At least you are reaching out. If there's someone you can talk to in real life, do it. Before you can repair a broken vase, you need glue, and I think other people are the glue.

My only friends are my coworkers who I work with and my family is across the country. I hate having to talk to my friends about how I feel because I'm afraid they're sick of it and someone will spill that info down to my ex.

That was a large reason for him leaving me. I like to talk through any issues I may have to gain the opinions of others and people started saying things to my ex.

Click to shrink...

Just read this part. Can you skype with your family? Is there a friend you trust more than others?

I'll actually be real with you. Time doesn't heal shit. Can't say how long this is going to hurt. Maybe forever.

You're way too absorbed in your job. You desperately need to seek connections with people in other social circles.

Click to shrink...

This too. But I think you can ease the pain if you make the effort to heal the wound.

 

[Ra]

I'll actually be real with you. Time doesn't heal shit. Can't say how long this is going to hurt. Maybe forever.

You're way too absorbed in your job. You desperately need to seek connections with people in other social circles. You're desolate because they are all you think you have, and they are all connected to your ex.

 

[PlanetSmasher]

Any clubs I'm in my boyfriend was also a part of. We share the same interests and that's why I thought the relationship worked out so well. I try doing my interests now but it just makes me more upset to do them alone. I'm in school but that doesn't start until late August.

Click to shrink...

I think the best thing you could do for yourself would be to find a new club. Something that you can do for just you. Something that doesn't remind you of him or of your relationship.

Take a class over the summer. Think if there's anything you've idly wondered to yourself "man, I wish I knew how to do that" and find a class that can teach you how. I know it sounds stupid, but when I was in a really, really bad place a few years ago I started taking acting classes again and it got me back into performance and helped drag me out of the abyss for a while. I'm not saying you need to do exactly what I did, but trying to pick up a new skill is a great way to take your mind off of pain and meet new people at the same time, and I really think that would help you a lot.

 

[Creation_Scapes]

Time heals all wounds, it's not just a saying it's really true. Just wait it out and eventually you should start to feel better, so sorry to hear all this though.

 

[MrConbon210]

I'll actually be real with you. Time doesn't heal shit. Can't say how long this is going to hurt. Maybe forever.

You're way too absorbed in your job. You desperately need to seek connections with people in other social circles.

Click to shrink...

That's sorta just how my job seems to operate. On days off coworkers meet up to hang out. There's sports teams where different departments face each other. Probably 25% of the people working there are dating each other. It's a different environment than a typical job.

 

[hitme]

Don't blame yourself. Individuals change over time and that's something we cannot change.

Your time to heal is going to take longer if you're still in the same workplace together.

 

[Okabe]

OP could be a bottom

Click to shrink...

 

[Instro]

That's tough, it's always a big risk dating a co-worker. If goes south it's very difficult to have a clean break. My wife and I are co-workers, so I can imagine how bad it would be if we had ever broken up. Especially earlier in our relationship when she had more connections and friends in the office than I did. You get attached pretty quickly because of the time spent together and the constant proximity, on top of the fact that it feels like you always have someone in your corner at work even if the day/week isn't going well.

I don't have anything to offer advice wise. I would say maybe consider transfering, or looking elsewhere, but you said you are a newer employee so that would be tough either way.

 

[MrConbon210]

That's tough, it's always a big risk dating a co-worker. If goes south it's very difficult to have a clean break. My wife and I are co-workers, so I can imagine how bad it would be if we had ever broken up. Especially earlier in our relationship when she had more connections and friends in the office than I did. You get attached pretty quickly because of the time spent together and the constant proximity, on top of the fact that it feels like you always have someone in your corner at work even if the day/week isn't going well.

I don't have anything to offer advice wise. I would say maybe consider transfering, or looking elsewhere, but you said you are a newer employee so that would be tough either way.

Click to shrink...

It's pretty easy to transfer. There roughly 30 or so different places I could transfer to. However the place I'm working at now is my dream spot. Anywhere else and I would have filed for a transfer.

 

[Ra]

That's sorta just how my job seems to operate. On days off coworkers meet up to hang out. There's sports teams where different departments face each other. Probably 25% of the people working there are dating each other. It's a different environment than a typical job.

Click to shrink...

Sounds like an HR nightmare that's ready to burn to the ground.

You seem to have choices:

1. Get over your feelings for your ex so you feel comfortable hanging out with everyone again.

2. Pretend.

3. Find an external social circle.

4. Wallow in the abyss for an indeterminate amount of your future.

The problem I see coming one hundred miles away is that he is going to be dating someone else soon, and you need to be emotionally prepared to deal with that inevitability.

What we haven't broached is that you are calling people "friends", yet you can't trust that they won't go tell your ex what you talk about? No wait, they've already gone and done that, which is literally what caused the break up? Are you using the word "friends" correctly?

At this point we've established that you have co-workers. I'm not clear on whether you have friends, but I know we need to find you some real ones ASAP.

And what kind of person breaks up with you over that? Was the love actually mutual? These things must be reflected upon. Deeply.

 

[MrConbon210]

Sounds like an HR nightmare that's ready to burn to the ground.

You seem to have choices:

1. Get over your feelings for your ex so you feel comfortable hanging out with everyone again.

2. Pretend.

3. Find an external social circle.

4. Wallow in the abyss for an indeterminate amount of your future.

The problem I see coming one hundred miles away is that he is going to be dating someone else soon, and you need to be emotionally prepared to deal with that inevitability.

What we haven't broached is that you are calling people "friends", yet you can't trust that they won't go tell your ex what you talk about? No wait, they've already gone and done that, which is literally what caused the break up? Are you using the word "friends" correctly?

At this point we've established that you have co-workers. I'm not clear on whether you have friends, but I know we need to find you some real ones ASAP.

And what kind of person breaks up with you over that? Was the love actually mutual? These things must be reflected upon. Deeply.

Click to shrink...

So I have no boyfriend and no real friends anyone. Great.

I want to be comfortable around him but he straight up ignored my existence. I think he's already dating someone at work anyways now.

 

[PlanetSmasher]

So I have no boyfriend and no real friends anyone. Great.

I want to be comfortable around him but he straight up ignored my existence. I think he's already dating someone at work anyways now.

Click to shrink...

This may sound blunt, but work friends and true friends are not the same thing. That's not to say you can't have work friends, but it's important to have people in your life who have nothing to do with your job. I feel like a large part of the reason you're suffering so much right now is that you can't compartmentalize things.

 

[MrConbon210]

This may sound blunt, but work friends and true friends are not the same thing. That's not to say you can't have work friends, but it's important to have people in your life who have nothing to do with your job. I feel like a large part of the reason you're suffering so much right now is that you can't compartmentalize things.

Click to shrink...

My boyfriend didn't have any non-work friends. I honestly can't think of anyone at work who I talk who does. There's a few people outside of work I know people talk to but they used to work at our job in the past sooo.

 

[PlanetSmasher]

My boyfriend didn't have any non-work friends. I honestly can't think of anyone at work who I talk who does. There's a few people outside of work I know people talk to but they used to work at our job in the past sooo.

Click to shrink...

Not to pry too much, but what do you do for a living? The only people I know who are that devoted to their jobs are people in the restaurant/service industry. One of my former roommates was a server and he found it impossible to be friends with anyone who wasn't in the business like him.

 

[Ziltoidia 9]

Can I ask what you "did"?

 

[MrConbon210]

Not to pry too much, but what do you do for a living? The only people I know who are that devoted to their jobs are people in the restaurant/service industry. One of my former roommates was a server and he found it impossible to be friends with anyone who wasn't in the business like him.

Click to shrink...

Don't wanna give away too much but it's a theme park.

 

[PlanetSmasher]

Don't wanna give away too much but it's a theme park.

Click to shrink...

That's fine, you don't have to go into a lot of detail. I can understand how being a cast member at a park might lend itself to primarily socializing with other cast members, similar to how most stage/film actors primarily hang out with other actors. I get that 100%.

That being said, I really do think it's important to have people in your life who you don't have to bring work with you when you see them. When your entire life is focused through one lens like that and then that lens becomes a source of pain you're CONSTANTLY absorbing that darkness with no way to vent it in a healthy manner. You're standing in the miasma 24/7.

 

[Prophet Five]

I know how you feel OP. I hope you get over it quickly. My best advice is to not punish or blame yourself for things you couldn't control. Taking responsibility is one thing but no one in a relationship is completely responsible for everything.

 

[MrConbon210]

Can I ask what you "did"?

Click to shrink...

We had an argument because he disregarded plans I had for the day. He was really stressed for an interview coming up so I thought to give him some space so I didn't talk for him for a week. I thought that's what he wanted but he got upset so I apologized and we had a talk about how we felt.

Things seemed good for a few weeks but he spent a lot of time with our mutual friends and stopped inviting me to things. Often said no when I asked if we could hang out. He told me I was being clingy which was strange since I thought he was upset I didn't talk to him enough.

We had this big event coming up in the future but he decided to go to the event early and didn't tell me. I got upset and he told me I was overreacting and then broke up with me.

 

[Poppy]

just do what i did when i broke up with my boyfriend

drop out of school and move 3000 miles away like an asshole

 

[MrConbon210]

just do what i did when i broke up with my boyfriend

drop out of school and move 3000 miles away like an asshole

Click to shrink...

Already did that a few years ago. Moved across the country to start over.

 

[Poppy]

Already did that a few years ago. Moved across the country to start over.

Click to shrink...

i embrace you, sibling

 

[Ziltoidia 9]

We had an argument because he disregarded plans I had for the day. He was really stressed for an interview coming up so I thought to give him some space so I didn't talk for him for a week. I thought that's what he wanted but he got upset so I apologized and we had a talk about how we felt.

Things seemed good for a few weeks but he spent a lot of time with our mutual friends and stopped inviting me to things. Often said no when I asked if we could hang out. He told me I was being clingy which was strange since I thought he was upset I didn't talk to him enough.

We had this big event coming up in the future but he decided to go to the event early and didn't tell me. I got upset and he told me I was overreacting and then broke up with me.

Click to shrink...

You didn't do anything wrong, he seems like he was just looking for an excuse. Sorry you have to feel this way, I know all about lonliness too. You can always say what you need to say here with us.

 

[zebetite]

hey OP - i also learned my lesson the hard way about dating coworkers. it fucking sucks when it doesn't work out!

you don't mention in your post how long you were together, but we had a brief few-week thing and seeing her nearly every day continued to suck for months. so not only must this be the fucking worst for you (and i am really sorry to hear it), but now you've got my dumb ass telling you it's going to continue to be the fucking worst for pretty much as long as you can imagine.

i'm not here to bring you down, though. i want to tell you this: i'm totally good now. know what fixed it? it sure as fuck wasn't time. i literally went and got a new job over it. i was so goddamn determined to get as far a-fucking-way from this person as humanly possible that i become completely, utterly transfixed on the most comprehensive and exhaustive job hunt of my entire life. i'd once been unemployed for 8 consecutive months and even then i hadn't hit the job postings as hard as i was over this awkward situation i'd found myself in. at the time, i was super concerned that i was going to end up taking some shitty job in my desperation, and lower my overall quality-of-life. but i knew i had to do it, because i was miserable and it simply wasn't getting better.

when i landed a job... it just so happened that the new job was a huge improvement over the old one - not just because i didn't have to keep enduring awkward interactions at work with somebody i'd dated, but because it's legitimately a better fit for me. i've been at the new job for less than three months now and i've already gotten a promotion. i'm on a whole new career path that's totally blowing my old one out of the water, and i have this whole awkward series of mistakes and bad decisions to thank for it. i will definitely never talk to this person again because they made my life miserable for months but i am so, so thankful to her in this weird fucked-up way for forcing me to make positive changes in my life just to get the fuck away from her. i am literally living my best life right now, and it's all because my once comfortable-and-fulfilling career situation became deeply uncomfortable-and-unfulfilling overnight.

comfort, as it turns out, is the enemy of progress. we only grow when confronted with challenges to overcome. your ex-boyfriend is your latest challenge. you will overcome it. you need to. your livelihood kinda depends on it.

i know you said your current job is your dream job but there are always better opportunities out there. not just in love, but in careers too. you'll will find a job and/or partner that blow your old one(s) out of the water. your life will become more amazing than you ever could have dreamed, and you'll wake up every morning with the satisfaction of knowing you got to where you are by overcoming this incredibly challenging hurdle. it's going to suck for a while, but you need to let this pain motivate you to make positive changes to your life. once you do, you'll look back and realize two things:

1) you're doing better than ever before, and it's without him
2) his fuckin' loss

 

[MrConbon210]

You didn't do anything wrong, he seems like he was just looking for an excuse. Sorry you have to feel this way, I know all about lonliness too. You can always say what you need to say here with us.

Click to shrink...

I'm not gonna act like I did things right. Ignoring him for a week was a shitty move. I told him before I stopped talking that we can talk more at dinner that weekend. I thought that would show that I wasn't doing this out of spite but to gain some clarity and not overreact. Obviously he saw it differently so I didn't do anything like that again.

I was clingy in some aspects. He went to a party one night and I had no idea so I got worried if he got home okay and called him 3-4 times. That was definitely clingy and I could see being annoyed with that.

But then he called me clingy because I wanted to have a date night since we hadn't had one in a month. He claimed he was busy with work but would hang out with his best friend 4 days in a row while I was also free.

He definitely has issues expressing his emotions and showing affection. But the last month he was especially withdrawn. He didn't get the promotion at work but everyone else who interviewed did.

It was definitely a confusing final few weeks of our relationship but I was committed to working through our issues.

 

[rokkerkory]

Time will heal all. Let it take its course. You'll be ok in the end!

Take time to focus on yourself.

 

[Ziltoidia 9]

I'm not gonna act like I did things right. Ignoring him for a week was a shitty move. I told him before I stopped talking that we can talk more at dinner that weekend. I thought that would show that I wasn't doing this out of spite but to gain some clarity and not overreact. Obviously he saw it differently so I didn't do anything like that again.

I was clingy in some aspects. He went to a party one night and I had no idea so I got worried if he got home okay and called him 3-4 times. That was definitely clingy and I could see being annoyed with that.

But then he called me clingy because I wanted to have a date night since we hadn't had one in a month. He claimed he was busy with work but would hang out with his best friend 4 days in a row while I was also free.

He definitely has issues expressing his emotions and showing affection. But the last month he was especially withdrawn. He didn't get the promotion at work but everyone else who interviewed did.

It was definitely a confusing final few weeks of our relationship but I was committed to working through our issues.

Click to shrink...

Seems weird he would go to party without taking someone he was in a relationship with. I still don't think you need to evaluate yourself in a bad manner. Yes you might of been able to do things different before hand, but I feel still he was looking for excuses. Wanting to know if he got home okay is like, basic relationship correspondence. You clearly were trying to make the connections but something else was going on in his mind that he probably needs to come to terms with.

If everyone else got their promotions and he didn't, then probably work see his short comings too. What I can deduce about this person is, he isn't reliable as a worker but is able to become "casual friends" with?

 

[Deleted member 46958]

You did not lose a part of your identity because one's identity is not dependent on someone else.

In fact, you will have a greater sense of self after this relationship's fallout. In time.

Please feel better. It isn't easy splitting with someone you love. But you'll doubtlessly get stronger after it.

 

[MrConbon210]

Seems weird he would go to party without taking someone he was in a relationship with. I still don't think you need to evaluate yourself in a bad manner. Yes you might of been able to do things different before hand, but I feel still he was looking for excuses. Wanting to know if he got home okay is like, basic relationship correspondence. You clearly were trying to make the connections but something else was going on in his mind that he probably needs to come to terms with.

If everyone else got their promotions and he didn't, then probably work see his short comings too. What I can deduce about this person is, he isn't reliable as a worker but is able to become "casual friends" with?

Click to shrink...

Honestly even the managers at our job are confused on why he didn't get it. He has been at our job for nearly twice as long as those who got it and this was his 4th time trying to get it. He didn't even tell me he had an interview or that he didn't get it. I found that out through one of our managers.

Something had to have happened but I have no idea. Then he became withdrawn and cold towards me. And now he's apparently already dating someone. It's such a confusing situation.

 

[Moleculoman]

Reading some of your responses, I don't see your actions as being clingy? I get the impression that you were far more invested and interested in the relationship than he was. I'm going to presume that you were not dating each other for very long? If I were to guess...6 months or less.

You're in school, and have your whole life ahead of you. As much as it hurts right now (cuz breakups suck!), you deserve better. Also, I'm out of the dating pool, and there are far better equipped people to give you advice. But...I would probably recommend against going on Tinder for the time being. Unless you feel causal hookups are gonna help you get through this rough patch.

 

[Sowrong]

This person was a selfish asshole at the end from what you're saying. He doesn't want to be with you anymore so just stop thinking about what you did wrong towards him
Because it doesn't matter and all it does it prevent you from moving on. Honestly, do some self improvement activities for yourself and fuck someone new.

 

[Ziltoidia 9]

Honestly even the managers at our job are confused on why he didn't get it. He has been at our job for nearly twice as long as those who got it and this was his 4th time trying to get it. He didn't even tell me he had an interview or that he didn't get it. I found that out through one of our managers.

Something had to have happened but I have no idea. Then he became withdrawn and cold towards me. And now he's apparently already dating someone. It's such a confusing situation.

Click to shrink...

What do you feel would lead to closure for this? There is the relationship side of it and then there is the professional side of it. It's always best to be honest and then you can't go wrong. If there is professional misconduct from him or other co-workers and they try to paint you as bad, then they are being extremely juvenile.

With you working a dream job, I guess your number one priority is to make sure that doesn't change. Keep doing the gig as you were. If any co-workers want to be shits about it, then let them be shits. Don't let them con you into giving anyone a reason to let you go from that job.

Then there is the closure side of it with him. He just doesn't want to talk to you about it? If he knows he is loved by someone and he acts that way, then he is being an asshat and doesn't deserve you.

What about him did you like and why do you compare him to people on tinder? Don't just find a substitution, find an upgrade. Unfortunately, you won't be able to know for sure until you try a few dates out because personalities don't stop at interests. The upgrade would seem to be someone that actually will reciprocate a bond. Was he always distant?

 

[MrConbon210]

What do you feel would lead to closure for this? There is the relationship side of it and then there is the professional side of it. It's always best to be honest and then you can't go wrong. If there is professional misconduct from him or other co-workers and they try to paint you as bad, then they are being extremely juvenile.

With you working a dream job, I guess your number one priority is to make sure that doesn't change. Keep doing the gig as you were. If any co-workers want to be shits about it, then let them be shits. Don't let them con you into giving anyone a reason to let you go from that job.

Then there is the closure side of it with him. He just doesn't want to talk to you about it? If he knows he is loved by someone and he acts that way, then he is being an asshat and doesn't deserve you.

What about him did you like and why do you compare him to people on tinder? Don't just find a substitution, find an upgrade. Unfortunately, you won't be able to know for sure until you try a few dates out because personalities don't stop at interests. The upgrade would seem to be someone that actually will reciprocate a bond. Was he always distant?

Click to shrink...

I honestly don't really know at the moment what I would perceive as closure. I think it's so soon I'm still coming to terms with what has actually happened.

I liked him because he was incredibly handsome, had the same career goals as me, outside hobbies, sense of humor, and friends. We were in all honesty a perfect match. We would joke about we never argue and couldn't ever see us breaking up.

He doesn't go great at expressing his emotions but I knew he cared by smaller things he did like adding a smile emoji to his texts or calling me a nerd ironically. Then it sorta just stopped and he became withdrawn. Which caused me to push harder into the relationship since I thought he would open up on what was bothering him.

But then he sorta just never wanted to sleep over anymore while in the past we spent 1-2 days a week sleeping over. He didn't want to hold my hand anymore. He just shut down in a sense.

I find it hard not to blame myself for how he had acted the final few weeks. We celebrated his birthday and I bought us a private VIP Safari tour and that was the last time I can remember a genuine sense of warmth he had towards me.

His past 5 relationships all ended with his partner cheating on him. He didn't tell me the specifics but from what people tell me at work, his last relationship destroyed him. And apparently a few days before we started dating he kissed another coworker.

There's so many plot points to this relationship I can't really pinpoint what ever happened. And he never would say how he feels so I spent most of the time having to interpret what he was feeling at the moment.

 

[Ziltoidia 9]

I honestly don't really know at the moment what I would perceive as closure. I think it's so soon I'm still coming to terms with what has actually happened.

I liked him because he was incredibly handsome, had the same career goals as me, outside hobbies, sense of humor, and friends. We were in all honesty a perfect match. We would joke about we never argue and couldn't ever see us breaking up.

He doesn't go great at expressing his emotions but I knew he cared by smaller things he did like adding a smile emoji to his texts or calling me a nerd ironically. Then it sorta just stopped and he became withdrawn. Which caused me to push harder into the relationship since I thought he would open up on what was bothering him.

But then he sorta just never wanted to sleep over anymore while in the past we spent 1-2 days a week sleeping over. He didn't want to hold my hand anymore. He just shut down in a sense.

I find it hard not to blame myself for how he had acted the final few weeks. We celebrated his birthday and I bought us a private VIP Safari tour and that was the last time I can remember a genuine sense of warmth he had towards me.

His past 5 relationships all ended with his partner cheating on him. He didn't tell me the specifics but from what people tell me at work, his last relationship destroyed him. And apparently a few days before we started dating he kissed another coworker.

There's so many plot points to this relationship I can't really pinpoint what ever happened. And he never would say how he feels so I spent most of the time having to interpret what he was feeling at the moment.

Click to shrink...

Damn, then he of all people should know that how a relationship ends can hurt. Just keep doing you job, work on yourself while you are lonely, and be strong. I know you want to find someone like him because he was perfect for you in how you see it, but it is all relative and the future can be surprising.

 

[xxracerxx]

How long had you guys been together?

 

[MrConbon210]

How long had you guys been together?

Click to shrink...

Around 4 months. It doesn't sound like a whole lot but we knew each other beforehand and due to us working together, we spent a lot more time together than a typical couple.

 

[Filipus]

He is already dating someone else? Honestly it seems to me he was already done with the relationship before things went to crap, don't blame yourself for what happened.

I can't give you much advice except that you really shouldn't care for people that don't care for you. Maybe you have to change your attitude from "I miss him" to "screw this guy" and live your life the way you want to live. Go to your clubs, make new friends. It seems the ones you have aren't that great.

 

[ResetGreyWolf]

It's only been 10 days, OP. It can take years to fully get over someone you love. Give it a bit more time.

 

[Dynamite Cop]

Sorry to hear about that. I met my current girlfriend at a job. Management keeps tabs on that sort of stuff.. especially when layoffs come around. You mentioned that you're at your dream job.. things might get a little rough. Maybe start looking elsewhere?

 

[MrConbon210]

Girl, he is already dating someone else? Honestly it seems to me he was already done with the relationship before things went to crap, don't blame yourself for what happened.

I can't give you much advice except that you really shouldn't care for people that don't care for you. Maybe you have to change your attitude from "I miss him" to "screw this guy" and live your life the way you want to live. Go to your clubs, make new friends. It seems the ones you have aren't that great.

Click to shrink...

I'm gay. And he's gay too. Well, at least I thought he was. Currently there's a rumor he's talking to this girl at work. So I guess it's possible that he has been questioning his sexuality and wants to experiment.

Which I would have completely supported however instead he decided to emotionally shut me out and then break up with me instead of telling me any of this.

 

[MrConbon210]

Sorry to hear about that. I met my current girlfriend at a job. Management keeps tabs on that sort of stuff.. especially when layoffs come around. You mentioned that you're at your dream job.. things might get a little rough. Maybe start looking elsewhere?

Click to shrink...

My job isn't the type to just fire people. I think only 1-2 people have been fired in the past 6 months? Most people either transfer, get promoted, or quit.