I'm so fucked up.
I've been doing this all my life, I'm in my mid 30's now and I continue to do it to this day. I want to stop but there's some asshole inside of me that's bigger than my urge to become a better person, why do I constantly do this? Here is a breakdown in more detail:
I meet girl X and I immediately compare her to my previous girlfriends. I evaluate the good and the bad, what she's got going in her life that's better or worse compared to my ex's, however, ultimately I only focus on the bad and toss aside (or take for granted) the good. The qualities I mainly initially focus are looks. This lingers for a while, I keep quite, the relationship develops with some ups/downs and a few months down the line I somehow release out anger and frustration that I've built along the way.
Here is the fucked up part:
When we ultimately breakup due to my constant unhappiness with who she really is/was... I then... I only then realize how amazing she was. And I miss the fuck out of them, all I do is think about them. I obsess over my loss of her. And then I meet a new girl X, and even if this new girl looks better than my previous gf I find myself in the same cycle. Comparing her to the old one.
So, I start off with not being happy with the girls I meet but by the time we break up all I want is them. It's so fucked up. Am I always going to stay unhappy like this?
I plan on seeing a therapist, I need to fucking stop doing this but yet here I am doing the exact same thing, ugh.
I've been doing this all my life, I'm in my mid 30's now and I continue to do it to this day. I want to stop but there's some asshole inside of me that's bigger than my urge to become a better person, why do I constantly do this? Here is a breakdown in more detail:
I meet girl X and I immediately compare her to my previous girlfriends. I evaluate the good and the bad, what she's got going in her life that's better or worse compared to my ex's, however, ultimately I only focus on the bad and toss aside (or take for granted) the good. The qualities I mainly initially focus are looks. This lingers for a while, I keep quite, the relationship develops with some ups/downs and a few months down the line I somehow release out anger and frustration that I've built along the way.
Here is the fucked up part:
When we ultimately breakup due to my constant unhappiness with who she really is/was... I then... I only then realize how amazing she was. And I miss the fuck out of them, all I do is think about them. I obsess over my loss of her. And then I meet a new girl X, and even if this new girl looks better than my previous gf I find myself in the same cycle. Comparing her to the old one.
So, I start off with not being happy with the girls I meet but by the time we break up all I want is them. It's so fucked up. Am I always going to stay unhappy like this?
I plan on seeing a therapist, I need to fucking stop doing this but yet here I am doing the exact same thing, ugh.