I don't know anymore

[ExhaustedWalrus]

Does anyone else feel numb every day? i feel like every day is the same. I don't know what to think anymore. I just feel like I am stuck and nothing will change. I am almost done. I don't know who I am. Nothing makes me happy. I truly don't know myself and that scares me.

I feel absolutely zero passion or interest in my job right now. I simply don't care.

 

[TheOther]

I go to work every day just to support my kids. After that? Empty.

 

[PlanetSmasher]

Quarantine magnifies pretty much every negative emotion. The blur of one day into the next, the uncertainty of the future, all of that stuff is toxic. It's like having a permanent IV drip of negative energy attached to you.

It's not just you, and it's not something you should be blaming yourself for. We live in unbelievable times right now and nobody is prepared for this. Even the people who pretend they are.

Try to find reasons to smile every day, even if it's just little things like your cat doing something stupid or a bird flying around outside. The world will keep spinning, even if it feels frozen solid right now.

 

[SunBroDave]

We're all here just trying to find peace of mind OP. Whenever I'm feeling stuck, I try to think about what will bring me that peace, i.e. where I want to go, and then just try to get a little bit closer to that each day.

Any day that brings you even just one step closer to peace is a day not wasted.

 

[Deleted member 44129]

Totally feel you OP. I have lost all my energy. Im supposed to be decorating the house and i sit about doing nothing instead. I feel like i have no life goals any more, and frankly, even if things go back to normal, i feel like ive gone into a bit of an existential crisis. Everything just seems so grey.

 

[IronStarr]

Yea, I'm struggling with that same thing this morning. Just wake up, log into work. Do that. Log off.

Were expecting our first in 3 months so the last 6 months has been quarantined, real quarantine. So going out and seeing friends or really doing anything at all besides groceries has been nonexistent. No babymoons, no showers, I haven't been able to even goto the Doctor appointments.

On top of that.... what does it matter.

 

[Goddo Hando]

i have a very happy family, a job i like, pretty fulfilling hobbies etc ,but this is the absolute numbest i've felt probably in my entire life.

i dont know if this is good advice or not, but it helps knowing that i'm not alone, and that everyone on the planet is missing normalcy in their lives and this should someday pass

 

[shnurgleton]

Have you talked to your SO about it? Maybe there's something you guys can do together to stave off the corona blues

 

[ExhaustedWalrus]

Have you talked to your SO about it? Maybe there's something you guys can do together to stave off the corona blues

Click to shrink...

I have, but I have depression, anxiety and ADHD and my mood is very flippant, so I feel like she doesn't understand.

 

[Deleted member 14313]

Sounds very very much like depression. If you can see a doctor.

Edit: if the feelings you expressed in the OP are new or worse than perhaps ask your doctor if there are any alternative treatments if you are already being treated for your depression and if you are not then maybe you should be (although I know this costs money in the US which is difficult)

 

[entremet]

Do you have any confidantes who you can share this with?

 

[shnurgleton]

I have, but I have depression, anxiety and ADHD and my mood is very flippant, so I feel like she doesn't understand.

Click to shrink...

If she loves you, she'll want to know and help. If you guys are thinking about marriage you should be ready to deal with these things together

 

[Bucca]

Doctor

 

[BasilZero]

Not sure where OP lives but isnt there a Social worker they can communicate this to?

 

[Deleted member 24052]

Does anyone else feel numb every day? i feel like every day is the same. I don't know what to think anymore. I just feel like I am stuck and nothing will change. I am almost done. I don't know who I am. Nothing makes me happy. I truly don't know myself and that scares me.

I feel absolutely zero passion or interest in my job right now. I simply don't care.

Click to shrink...

It has been a hard, hard year for many people and I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way right now, OP.

I have felt this way often enough in the last 6 months, and what tends to ground me is shifting what little focus I can over towards a hobby that makes me happy. It may seem silly, or like basic advice lacking depth, but shifting focus and energy onto a hobby really helps.

 

[Orb]

Working from home this long has gotten really exhausting. There is never an end to anything, no big markers in the day. Everything just flows right into the next thing.

 

[Poltergust]

This whole pandemic is starting to get to me, too. Just this past week, I had a COVID-19 scare at work (currently fine right now), a close friend told me his father died from the virus, and my best friend just yesterday told me his mom just came down with the virus, too.

I want to try and keep a positive outlook, but it seems that this pandemic doesn't want to leave me alone. I'm absolutely dreading hearing my parents eventually getting infected.

It feels like I'm on the precipice of everything unraveling and it terrifies me.

 

[jotun?]

Every day is exactly the same

It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't also oppressively hot and humid outside. My 10-day forecast has no highs below 98, and it feels like it's been that way forever. Yesterday it was 100 and raining. Hard to get out of the house to break up the routine when indoor destinations are off limits and outdoors is awful.

 

[rashbeep]

welcome to me a few years ago

at least now i get paid!

 

[Indy in the Fridge]

literally starting therapy next week because of how amplified my depression and anger have become because of the pandemic. i mean, i've had shit i've needed to address for a long time, but my wife and i have noticed that it's really affecting our marriage and my ability to maintain composure at my job.

 

[ExhaustedWalrus]

One more thing I will is that my mom is a 3rd grade teacher. We live in the south (TN), and they are not taking the virus seriously at all. I am so stressed and anxious about her getting it. And for the kids and teachers. It's really bothering me.

 

[TeaberryShark]

Yeah the whole work/eat/sleep + constant fear of death is getting pretty fuckin' old if I'm being honest. It has sent me into a pit of depression the last couple of weeks also. Stay strong friends, we will get through this. The only thing about life that you can count on is shits gonna change. There is no guarantee it will change for the better, but eventually, it will change. The part that's bothering me the most though is my loss of interest in my hobbies (indie game dev) work has been such a slog that its so hard for me to want to sit at the pc and do anything creative when I get home :(

 

[Ramala]

I have, but I have depression, anxiety and ADHD and my mood is very flippant, so I feel like she doesn't understand.

Click to shrink...

You absolutely should see your Dr because mine suggested a change in meds that has made the world of difference.

 

[Siyou]

You're not alone. I can't seem to find a job that lasts for longer than a month and it's me not fitting in.

 

[crazy monkey]

I go to work every day just to support my kids. After that? Empty.

Click to shrink...

That is life my friend.

 

[infinitebento]

it will not always be this way, i promise you.

please stay with us.

 

[Mendrox]

Have lots of more free time so I finally have time for myself and improving things I always wanted to improve. Great time to use the moment, grab it, and finally do something for your goals which you didn't have time before that.

 

[Deleted member 24079]

Feeling the same. I don't understand others who can focus on life goals right now. I use ring fit and go for runs but yeah work is located in medical so it's Covid all day everyday. I have a sunny disposition and I feel like there's a lid on my candle of emotion right now. Take a silly snack and get coding

 

[Cien]

At first i was fine with it. But as time went along, my outlook got bleak. Due to a number of factors, even taking my own life has entered my mind. but not doing it. Hoping things will get better.

 

[Dodongo]

Does anyone else feel numb every day? i feel like every day is the same. I don't know what to think anymore. I just feel like I am stuck and nothing will change. I am almost done. I don't know who I am. Nothing makes me happy. I truly don't know myself and that scares me.

I feel absolutely zero passion or interest in my job right now. I simply don't care.

Click to shrink...

I know what you mean. Hang in there dude.

It has been a really tough year. All the misinformation and apathy while thousands die has been terrible for my mental health.

 

[AlexBasch]

At this point I'm just trying to delay the inevitable: the virus hitting my parents, killing them, and me getting infected with possible permanent side effects from the disease. Either this year, or 2021, or 2022, or whatever. I have nothing to look forward in life, to be honest.

I haven't stepped out of my house in the last two weeks (again), first streak was an entire month, knowing I can go outside, get infected and kill my parents isn't giving me a lot of hope to keep this shit going, tbh.

 

[Ultimate Bear Cub]

I hear you. I've lately caught myself in between numb and frustrated myself. I almost react immediately to the sensation of boredom with a chore or writing session that I keep putting off for just such occasions. Breaking the monotony is not a skill I thought I needed till this year.

 

[Doc Kelso]

I always advocate for therapy, even for the healthiest of individuals. These days I absolutely implore everyone I know--that doesn't already do therapy in some way--to try it. Your feelings are valid and your emotions are understandable ones; People are, by and large, not equipped to handle these sorts of scenarios.

We don't have the tools to process these feelings properly because there isn't an outlet for things that we typically associate with a positive emotion, so the negative ones that are driven by things like inaction, lethargy and restlessness begin taking over our day-to-day. Compound that with a level of anxiety that many people have due to their loved ones not taking the quarantine seriously or living in an area that isn't the virus seriously, there is an incredible need within society to re-learn how we process our emotions and find outlets that enable us to feel good and healthy.

Hell, the idea of self-actualization that arises from how one expresses themself has been actively squashed by society. You're expected and taught to find worth in what you contribute, not to find worth in what you love.

Don't try to cope alone. You're not alone during this. The majority of people are right there with you.

 

[MercuryLS]

The uncertainty wears on you, I don't want my wife to go back to work teaching in September. That will put more pressure one my pay. At least my job is secure, but working from home for so long takes a toll. Just taking this day by day, but I'm having a hard time staying motivated.

The whole situation is just depressing.

 

[ExhaustedWalrus]

Thanks everyone. It makes me feel a little better knowing I'm not alone.

I feel like there's a disconnect between me and SO, because she works in person still and is busy all day every day, and I have my job which is fully WFH. She also goes to school full time and works 2 jobs. I feel like she doesn't understand why I feel this way.

Also, it seems likethe people I work with are still happy/sane. I just can't fathom it. I am so depressed and do not care one bit about work. I know I'm lucky to have a job, but it's so hard for me to have any enthusiasm toward my day to day work.

 

[mhayes86]

Don't forget we're in a pandemic and job changes, hell just about anything is difficult at this time. Keep your head up and things will get better. I'm bored at my job and it isn't all that fulfilling anymore (granted, it's not a bad job at all), but an offer I got is on hold due to the pandemic. It sucks, but I'm working through it.

 

[Like the hat?]

Op, find a hobby that doesn't involve the internet or technology. For me its hiking. Hiking is the one thing that grounds me and makes me feel OK with life.

i think the constant internet connection is really draining emotionally. I know i feel better when i focus on something that keeps me from being online.

 

[Dark Knight]

That is life my friend.

Click to shrink...

Don't say that.... it's never too late to find purpose or a calling.

 

[leenbzoold]

I wish i had a job where i could feel numb while doing it

 

[GangWarily]

I recently felt some solace meeting up with some friends and admitting that I was not doing okay. I feel like I've been trying to maintain the same level of effort and energy with work and I'm no longer capable of doing that :/

 

[Opposable]

I'm feeling this as well. Checking the news and seeing all the new job losses for the day, the hopelessness of the world as it sleepwalks into a second wave, the potential shutting down of things that have just re-opened, the uncertainty and lack of a time frame for normality to return.

It's grim. Just feels like there's nothing good out there anymore.

 

[RailWays]

Aside from consulting a professional I would recommend taking up a hobby to keep yourself engaged and break the monotony.

I usually like doing things that have no relation to my work as a means to detox.

 

[Antrax]

Definitely consider a non-digital hobby. I'm also 100% WFH, and you gotta just unplug sometimes.

I feel like there's a disconnect between me and SO, because she works in person still and is busy all day every day, and I have my job which is fully WFH. She also goes to school full time and works 2 jobs. I feel like she doesn't understand why I feel this way.

Click to shrink...

Heh, this is my wife and I, though in reverse (I'm busy all day and she's not). As the busy person, trust me, your SO gets it. She doesn't get it in the way that she 100% feels the way you do (just like I don't), but she cares about you and knows her situation is different.

Also, it seems likethe people I work with are still happy/sane. I just can't fathom it. I am so depressed and do not care one bit about work. I know I'm lucky to have a job, but it's so hard for me to have any enthusiasm toward my day to day work.

Click to shrink...

Also, I don't think your coworkers are being honest here. My whole company was cheery a d jokey for months and then we had a company meeting where our CEO asked us to be very frank about how quarantine was treating us. The smiles and jokes quickly became us venting for like 2 straight hours, and the company immediately instituted a pretty substantial monthly allowance for all therapy and mental health expenses (on top of what insurance covers). We can all joke the discomfort away for awhile but I promise it's hitting them too.

 

[Lkr]

I feel you. It's hard not to feel this way right now IMO. Just gotta remember this too will pass, and try to find something to occupy your anxiety. Did you lose a hobby due to quarantine? The lack of my gym really has hurt my mood

i have other coworkers that feel burnt out. Others are stressed af over their kids being home 24/7.

 

[Quade]

Right there with you OP. I don't know what the fuck i'm doing or what the fuck i'm supposed to be doing anymore. I'm not living, i'm just killing time.

 

[FrostweaveBandage]

There have been days like that, yes. I had a bit of a breakthrough a few weeks ago and haven't been in the dumps since. But I imagine it will get worse in the winter.

 

[TaySan]

I've been there OP. Please just hang in there. :)

 

[Mekanos]

We're in a groundhog day loop for sure. It's hard. I've tried to stay positive and find things to do. Some days are better than others.

We're all in this together. Someday, we can go outside and live our lives like we're supposed to.

 

[Whowasphone]

Every Day Is Exactly The Same

Provided to YouTube by Universal Music GroupEvery Day Is Exactly The Same · Nine Inch NailsWith Teeth℗ 2005 Interscope RecordsReleased on: 2005-05-03Associat...

youtu.be

 

[Mona]

not really, lots of media out there to consume