I feel like I suck at being an adult

[TrueSloth]

I really want to move on to more fulfilling work, and there are opportunities I have planned to apply for, but my anxieties get in the way. The only thing motivating me is the idea of sticking around my current job, which isnt bad, its just boring and kind of lame.

 

[Wackamole]

It gets better. Just continue to socialize.
Worry less about it. People are different and it's 100% okay to be you.

 

[Jeronimo]

Don't look too closely or you'll see that nobody really knows what the heck they're doing.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

 

[Gunslinger]

I just keep to myself, I have a few close group of friends other than that I keep it to myself. Go to work, do my job and be out.

 

[Deleted member 25445]

I feel the same way, except that I don't really do the self depricating stuff in casual conversation.

I dunno what it is, but I feel like my brand of weirdness worked way better as a kid/teenager. As an adult I just feel immature.

Click to shrink...

Well that's kind of it for me too, my sarcasm and humor makes me feel like I'm doing a "how do you do fellow kids?". I mean, I don't even really dress all that mature normally either so in contrast to where I just recently moved, I feel out of place.

 

[-2B-]

you haven't created a thread asking how to properly wipe your ass so you are a step ahead of a lot of people

 

[Wolfgunblood]

I've always had anxiety issues, but I had finally got to a place about a decade ago where I used to be all "I don't give a fuck" in a lot of ways.
Then, I became a father 5+ years ago, and now I'm a god damn mess in so many other ways.
Like, I have existential crises over the most mundane shit, and I'm incessantly worrying about our safety, less from other people potentially harming us and more along the lines of being maimed in an accident of some sort. It really hit the wall 2 years with our first child when he was diagnosed with autism. I've never been the same since. I've blamed myself so much because I have severe, functionally-impairing OCD that I've incessantly been battling from early adolescence onward. As such, on top of all the other worries, I'm constantly worried that my OCD will get to the point where it interferes enough with my job to get me fired (it's waxes and wanes in intensity since it is stress induced).

Click to shrink...

Damn. Nothing about any of that is remotely easy to live with. It's especially hard not to blame yourself for things out of your control, or to not keep it all in as if you would burden others. Therapy helped me a lot with anxiety, but I haven't dealt with anything like OCD.

 

[ZackieChan]

Getting Invisalign helped me out with this immensely. Also getting stronger by lifting weights. Learned to dress more like an adult.
I still have some shyness issues when I'm at game conventions for work and need to meet new people/clients.

 

[Miles]

There's no right way to do it, you really just make it up as you go and hopefully someone says "You're a responsible adult!" at some point to maybe clue you in that you're not screwing things up too much.

I still feel that i'm screwing up being a parent 6 years later.

 

[CopyOfACopy]

Try being an adult parent :/

Click to shrink...

Tip #1: try not to drop them too often

 

[Muppet of a Man]

Damn. Nothing about any of that is remotely easy to live with. It's especially hard not to blame yourself for things out of your control, or to not keep it all in as if you would burden others. Therapy helped me a lot with anxiety, but I haven't dealt with anything like OCD.

Click to shrink...

The hardest part to deal with is knowing that there is a correlation between a parent having certain anxiety disorders with a genetic component, in particular OCD, and a higher chance of their child having autism. I did not know that going into having kids, but I soon learned it, as I was incessantly researching autism when our son was diagnosed with it.

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/sweeping-study-underscores-autisms-overlap-with-obsessions/

 

[Zelenogorsk]

As a balding 26 year old that could pass for 30 I have to remind myself sometimes that when other people meet me they don't think of me as 15 even though on the inside i still feel like a 15 year old.

Like i met with a banker the other day and halfway through the conversation i realized that they weren't talking to me like I was a kid, they were treating me like a real ass adult with autonomy and responsibility (which I do indeed have). It was weird.

I also still have a hard time asserting myself. As a child I was very subservient to my parents, never talked back or rebelled or anything like that, and I think because of that I still have a hard time saying no to things that I don't want to do even though I feel like telling people no and asserting yourself is an essential part to being an adult.

tl;dr autonomy is hard and annoying

 

[Wolfgunblood]

The hardest part to deal with is knowing that there is a correlation between a parent having certain anxiety disorders with a genetic component, in particular OCD, and a higher chance of their child having autism. I did not know that going into having kids, but I soon learned it, as I was incessantly researching autism when our son was diagnosed with it.

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/sweeping-study-underscores-autisms-overlap-with-obsessions/

Click to shrink...

Is there more evidence than that study? That's the first I've heard of that.

 

[Huey]

Growing up is coming to the realization that none of the adults you knew had any fucking clue what they were doing and now you get to be one of them

Click to shrink...

This, 100%, independent of what level of success you achieve in any realm.

That's why the notion of "adulting" irritates me... all prior generations went through the exact same thing, but now labelling at such has facilitated assholes like Bill Maher using it to marginalize millenials and their interests as immature and of no value.

A separate notion might be whether you have a social anxiety or generalized anxiety, mrtastee, and that would definitely be worth talking to a physician or psychologist about.

 

[Skade]

Being an adult is more or less being as clueless as your were as a kid but doing so while prentending you know what you are doing.

More or less.

 

[Mechanized]

Being an adult just means you have a bunch of life experience, nothing else. Everyone else is faking it until they make it just like you. Some people are more sociable or introverted, whatever.

I got better at talking to people by consciously making the effort to small talk and have eye contact when speaking to people, laugh at yourself if you have an embarrassing exchange. End of the day what did you lose by trying? Nothing. But you gained a tiny bit of experience outside of your comfort zone. It adds up.

 

[Captain Tuttle]

Everybody's winging it, I wouldnt worry too much.

Click to shrink...

Exactly. It took me until my mid 40's to realise it though

 

[julia crawford]

I have some bad days, and some really just not good at all days. I just go to sleep earlier and hope to feel better the next day.

 

[Gunny T Highway]

We all suck in our own ways in being an adult. Some are just better at masking it.

 

[somajunkie]

I think Jake the Dog says something along the lines of "sucking is the first step at being good at something". Practice at what you want to be good at. Let failures be your training grounds and opportunities to learn and grow from. If you are in a shitty situation and doing the same thing, don't expect different results or the situation to change.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Welcome to adulthood my friend. I'm only 2 years old than you. I still not perfect with some of the things you describe.