So, we have been married for 8 years. We have not been close physically once we started having kids and it got worse over the years to a point where we fight constantly and like 5 years ago she has not shared the same blanket with me, she gave me my own. She talked about divorce and separation, she wants me to sleep in a different room, I rejected all those options...I know separation would just do more damage to us. She openly said if she met someone she liked she wouldn't be able to control herself and fall in love with him
Anyway, we moved to a different house this year and she invited the maintenance guy to dinner with us. She acted flirty to him during dinner and him a little to her...well, she's acted like that to him every time he's around. We had some big fights cause I was jealous and after all that she told me she no longer loves me and that she's changed. To now, I have been doing adjustments to improve myself for her to feel for me sgain (like helping with house work, helping with kids).
Still, she would wonder about him and the kind of person he is. I told her she liked him...sometime later she would ask me why I think she liked him.
I actually spoke to her about it and said I was uncomfortable she's too close to him and asked her to stop directly contacting him for any house work (they have an email to the maintenance group). At other times I told her there is a line she can't cross. At another time I told her that because she resents me and can't talk to me, and that she is depressed, she's emotionally vulnerable and that other men can take advantage of that...to which she replied, why is that so bad?
She set password on her phone a while ago and she didn't want to give me her phone when I asked to use it (for legitimate reasons). I already knew something was going on since she always let me use her phone by giving me the password but she hasn't given me this new password. She would also have suspicious calls and talks with men. Like one time she had a call from a man while driving, and his first sentence was, jody (fake wife name), are you ok? And she just listened and didn't say much and later hung up. Another time she was chatting with some guy on the call for a while and I got angry..she said he's the sales person from a store and he's a little gay (IF it is really that guy, yes, I think he's gay).
Anyway, this morning she let me talk to the hospital for her appointment and after the call I checked her chatting app. And I found her chatting with the maintenance guy..the chats are quite personal with her telling him how she was doing and how her period is lasting too long making her feel bad, I also saw her asking him for morning coffee.
I got so upset I didn't check all then messages. From what I did see, he didn't act inappropriate..but I didn't see all the messages..
I confronted her, she got very emotional and apologize to me and asked for me to forgive her. She said she didn't do more than chatting with him. She said she only chatted with him cause she was mad at me. I told her she need to stop lying to me, she's talking to him because she's likes him. She's been begging me to forgive her or tell her what to do, if I want her to leave us. She says she only knew how important I am to her when I confronted her with the messages..
Well, I am not feeling sad. I feel nothing...I am just feeling empty. I do love her but I don't know what the fuck is happening or what I am doing anymore.
I know she's depressed and is moody due to the kids, and me, plus financial burden. She also has a chronic life threatening disease (but so far is basically not active and no treatment needed, however it is still doing harm to her body). I can forgive her only because I love her, but also because I know she hasn't been able to talk to me due to our distance and she probably needed that someone to talk to...even if it is romantically in her mind..she probably unknowingly wanted an escape. I don't know I would do anything different if I was her.
I kind of wanted to text then maintenance guy and tell him my wife is in depression and apologize for her actions towards him. Should I do that? I am honestly bothered by it that he probably thinks my wife is cheating and I am not knowing. I don't like this at all.
Anyway, we moved to a different house this year and she invited the maintenance guy to dinner with us. She acted flirty to him during dinner and him a little to her...well, she's acted like that to him every time he's around. We had some big fights cause I was jealous and after all that she told me she no longer loves me and that she's changed. To now, I have been doing adjustments to improve myself for her to feel for me sgain (like helping with house work, helping with kids).
Still, she would wonder about him and the kind of person he is. I told her she liked him...sometime later she would ask me why I think she liked him.
I actually spoke to her about it and said I was uncomfortable she's too close to him and asked her to stop directly contacting him for any house work (they have an email to the maintenance group). At other times I told her there is a line she can't cross. At another time I told her that because she resents me and can't talk to me, and that she is depressed, she's emotionally vulnerable and that other men can take advantage of that...to which she replied, why is that so bad?
She set password on her phone a while ago and she didn't want to give me her phone when I asked to use it (for legitimate reasons). I already knew something was going on since she always let me use her phone by giving me the password but she hasn't given me this new password. She would also have suspicious calls and talks with men. Like one time she had a call from a man while driving, and his first sentence was, jody (fake wife name), are you ok? And she just listened and didn't say much and later hung up. Another time she was chatting with some guy on the call for a while and I got angry..she said he's the sales person from a store and he's a little gay (IF it is really that guy, yes, I think he's gay).
Anyway, this morning she let me talk to the hospital for her appointment and after the call I checked her chatting app. And I found her chatting with the maintenance guy..the chats are quite personal with her telling him how she was doing and how her period is lasting too long making her feel bad, I also saw her asking him for morning coffee.
I got so upset I didn't check all then messages. From what I did see, he didn't act inappropriate..but I didn't see all the messages..
I confronted her, she got very emotional and apologize to me and asked for me to forgive her. She said she didn't do more than chatting with him. She said she only chatted with him cause she was mad at me. I told her she need to stop lying to me, she's talking to him because she's likes him. She's been begging me to forgive her or tell her what to do, if I want her to leave us. She says she only knew how important I am to her when I confronted her with the messages..
Well, I am not feeling sad. I feel nothing...I am just feeling empty. I do love her but I don't know what the fuck is happening or what I am doing anymore.
I know she's depressed and is moody due to the kids, and me, plus financial burden. She also has a chronic life threatening disease (but so far is basically not active and no treatment needed, however it is still doing harm to her body). I can forgive her only because I love her, but also because I know she hasn't been able to talk to me due to our distance and she probably needed that someone to talk to...even if it is romantically in her mind..she probably unknowingly wanted an escape. I don't know I would do anything different if I was her.
I kind of wanted to text then maintenance guy and tell him my wife is in depression and apologize for her actions towards him. Should I do that? I am honestly bothered by it that he probably thinks my wife is cheating and I am not knowing. I don't like this at all.
