I keep being called "racist" for doing my job and it's really starting to tear at me

[Klyka]

Quick background:
I manage a sports and horse betting center in a city in Germany. Have been in the betting industry since I was 18, so for 15 years now making me 33. I am basically the whitest dude you can imagine. Blonde hair, blue eyes and not even the slightest tan.
Since in the betting industry here probably 80% of our customers have some kind of immigrant background it's happened on some rare occasion over the many years I've worked in the industry that when there was a dispute of any kind with a customer they would sometimes say I was being racist as some kind of "no I am not wrong, this is just why you are doing this now" thing. This was as I said extremely infrequent and has never really hit any nerve with me because it was clearly just said out of spite.

Now to today:
We have for over a year now a policy in our store that if you want to use the customer bathrooms, you actually need to be a paying customer or a regular who is known to us. Otherwise you will not get the key to the bathroom.
This policy was implemented because we had a big renovation last year and one of the things we always had problems with, being a store located directly at a street with a lot of pedestrians walking past, is that we would have tons and tons of people every day just walk into our store, go directly into the bathroom and do whatever in there. Making a mess, leaving stolen empty wallets on the floor, shooting up drugs, you name it.
Since during times where the store is full it is very hard for us to keep an eye on who is coming and going our boss decided to just lock the bathrooms and implement the policy I mentioned. Since then, things have been WAY better in the bathrooms. Signs on the doors also inform people about this in multiple languages.
What this means though is that we are now every day telling random people who come in that they can not use the bathrooms unless they actually place a bet. And this has as you can imagine lead to a lot of angry tirades from people who for some reason do not understand that they are not entitled to just use a stores bathrooms however they want. A very large number of the people we turn away have an immigrant background which as I said is common as customers in our industry. And this is where I constantly get called a racist for not letting them use the bathrooms without paying. At first this wasn't something I really cared about but now it is an almost constant in my work life. Mutiple times a week I get told I'm racist for just telling them the store policy and how they have to pay. Then they see someone else getting the key and get even angrier. Of course when they get angry we ask them to leave and that's usually where the "you're racist" comment comes in.

So that's basically the situation and I know this thread isn't gonna "change" anything, but man I just needed to vent about this. I'm not even doing anything wrong but I am still somehow internalizing this and it's making me question myself and makes me feel like shit lately. I usually don't let dumb shit angry people say get to me but it's just wearing me down.

Thanks for reading

 

[chaobreaker]

I mean it's not like the bathroom is for whites only, yeah?

Don't take it too hard. Sometimes people are just entitled shits.

 

[Hydeus]

Do your job. That's all. You have a policy, so you don't have to take this personaly.
People says stupid things when the don't have what they want. Don't let them influence you. Or you are dead.

 

[Trojita]

That sucks man.

 

[-PXG-]

People will find any excuse to make you the bad guy, and themselves a victim, because they didn't get their way. Don't worry about it.

 

[Rival]

Ignore them. A lot of minoroties will use their status to act out and play the race card ,nationality card etc

You know you're not being racist and they do to

 

[Aztechnology]

You're obviously not racist, the policy is not directly racist. It's on them. It's not uncommon for people to use that as a weapon to try to get what they want. It's no different than being cussed at. Obviously it's not pleasant. But don't let it get to you. It's not like you're scarring anyone, they're probably out the door. Using the bathroom somewhere else and forgetting it an hour later.

 

[atomsk eater]

That sounds rough, but you're just following store policy. If they want to use the bathroom so badly they need to actually be a customer.

People will find any excuse to make you the bad guy, and themselves a victim, because they didn't get their way. Don't worry about it.

Click to shrink...

This! Keep your head up op.

 

[samurai1226]

I was once being called a racist because I had no lighter as someone with immigrant background asked my if I have fire for his cigarette. Just try to ignore idiots who play the racist card on everything.

I absolutely understand the policy, it's horrible how many people think it's fun ruining a bathroom - Especially when they are drunk

 

[DFG]

People will find any excuse to make you the bad guy, and themselves a victim, because they didn't get their way. Don't worry about it.

Click to shrink...

This is it. OP just ignore fuckwits and don't let it ruin your day/week

 

[Miss Piggy]

Must be a very difficult job OP, it's okay to vent and try not to let it get you down too much.

 

[Klyka]

Must be a very difficult job OP, it's okay to vent and try not to let it get you down too much.

Click to shrink...

It's actually a really chill job, but just this regular thing now happening is fucking with me. Like, just call me an asshole or whatever, you know?

 

[GrantDaNasty]

Some people will try and do anything they can to get what they want, which sadly will include misusing incredibly legitimate concerns.

 

[tokkun]

These sorts of policies in stores are definitely open for abuse. A lot of places have eliminated "customer-only" policies because they were being applied in racist ways. Starbucks being a well-known recent example.

 

[Omegamon]

Ignore them

 

[Biggersmaller]

Some people will call others a "racist" when they don't get their way. It was common for me growing up. I grew-up in a predominantly black area until I was 14. My parents and I were never accused of being racist, except by total strangers who didn't get the parking spot they wanted, bullies in my school, or members of the crazy ass ICGJC congregation down the street.

 

[Klyka]

These sorts of policies in stores are definitely open for abuse. A lot of places have eliminated "customer-only" policies because they were being applied in racist ways. Starbucks being a well-known recent example.

Click to shrink...

Yeah we did think about this when implementing the policy but since it is literally only about the actual usage of the bathrooms we figured that there isn't really a way that it could be abuse since the person wanting to use it can either just show a betting ticket or pay a 1€. We even make it so that if you pay 1€ for the bathroom, use it and then afterwards actually place a bet, you get your 1€ back.

 

[vanmardigan]

A very large number of the people we turn away have an immigrant background which as I said is common as customers in our industry.

Click to shrink...

But these aren't your customers, right? Because they haven't bought anything? What if I bought something yesterday, can I come in today to use the bathroom?

In terms of fairness, if I were white, and therefore not your typical clientele, would I be able to use the bathroom if I asked really nicely? I know what you will reflexively say, but stop and think before you answer.

What about your shop, do you guys have any employees that aren't white? From your narrative, it seems like you are in an area with a lot of diversity. Because you keep saying your typical clientele is immigrant, but so is the amount of people wanting to use the bathroom that are not your clientele. The immigrant population is your bread and butter, they keep you employed. But because some of them pooped in your bathroom, and you went out of your way to call out their criminality (how do you know it was a stolen wallet you found as opposed to......a wallet), I think you DO have an issue with the immigrant population. Take the good (the profit you make from them) with the bad (your area's apparent lack of public bathroom) if you still want to do business there. Your store's policy is inherently going to affect immigrants (which I guess is shorthand for non white Germans) more than white Germans, but that's because you've chosen a place and type of business that careers to that population. It's unfair that you have to be called a racist, but you've got the perfect storm of circumstances and the shop has to decide if it wants to keep placing you in that position. Tell the owner to open the bathrooms, and pay a cleaner. Or else move the shop to an area with better public restrooms.

 

[Boiled Goose]

As long as you enforce the policy uniformly then there's not much you can do.

Maybe you can add another sign?

"Racism is wrong and all of our patrons are treated equally regardless of background".

"All are welcome here"

Etc.

As a counterpoint...

Do some self reflection at the above. Many of my European friends tell me they are not racist, but under further examination.... It doesn't hold up.

For example, at clubs people of color get denied entry constantly because of dress code... But the dress code rule is only applied to black and dark skinned people

 

[Deleted member 14080]

But these aren't your customers, right? Because they haven't bought anything? What if I bought something yesterday, can I come in today to use the bathroom?

In terms of fairness, if I were white, and therefore not your typical clientele, would I be able to use the bathroom if I asked really nicely? I know what you will reflexively say, but stop and think before you answer.

What about your shop, do you guys have any employees that aren't white? From your narrative, it seems like you are in an area with a lot of diversity. Because you keep saying your typical clientele is immigrant, but so is the amount of people wanting to use the bathroom that are not your clientele. The immigrant population is your bread and butter, they keep you employed. But because some of them pooped in your bathroom, and you went out of your way to call out their criminality (how do you know it was a stolen wallet you found as opposed to......a wallet), I think you DO have an issue with the immigrant population. Take the good (the profit you make from them) with the bad (your area's apparent lack of public bathroom) if you still want to do business there. Your store's policy is inherently going to affect immigrants (which I guess is shorthand for non white Germans) more than white Germans, but that's because you've chosen a place and type of business that careers to that population. It's unfair that you have to be called a racist, but you've got the perfect storm of circumstances and the shop has to decide if it wants to keep placing you in that position. Tell the owner to open the bathrooms, and pay a cleaner. Or else move the shop to an area with better public restrooms.

Click to shrink...

This!

 

[Thurston Last]

This used to happen all the time to a friend of mine. He worked at GameStop and was regularly accused of racism for refusing to barter. It was always immigrants either from India or Jamaica. (There just happened to be recent immigrants from those groups in the area).

He would explain that prices are set by corporate and bartering is not a thing they are allowed to do. This was unfathomable to some people and they would accuse him of being racsist.

 

[Odesu]

But these aren't your customers, right? Because they haven't bought anything? What if I bought something yesterday, can I come in today to use the bathroom?

In terms of fairness, if I were white, and therefore not your typical clientele, would I be able to use the bathroom if I asked really nicely? I know what you will reflexively say, but stop and think before you answer.

What about your shop, do you guys have any employees that aren't white? From your narrative, it seems like you are in an area with a lot of diversity. Because you keep saying your typical clientele is immigrant, but so is the amount of people wanting to use the bathroom that are not your clientele. The immigrant population is your bread and butter, they keep you employed. But because some of them pooped in your bathroom, and you went out of your way to call out their criminality (how do you know it was a stolen wallet you found as opposed to......a wallet), I think you DO have an issue with the immigrant population. Take the good (the profit you make from them) with the bad (your area's apparent lack of public bathroom) if you still want to do business there. Your store's policy is inherently going to affect immigrants (which I guess is shorthand for non white Germans) more than white Germans, but that's because you've chosen a place and type of business that careers to that population. It's unfair that you have to be called a racist, but you've got the perfect storm of circumstances and the shop has to decide if it wants to keep placing you in that position. Tell the owner to open the bathrooms, and pay a cleaner. Or else move the shop to an area with better public restrooms.

Click to shrink...

Finding emptied out wallets on the regular inside your bathroom is probably a pretty good sign that people don't actually keep losing their empty wallets in your bathroom.

Pretty much any business I know here in germany has the policy that you can only use their bathrooms if you are actually a customer. And that's fine. From his description its pretty obvious that their issue wasn't people using the bathroom, it was people using the bathroom for things like using drugs (and apparentely leave their equipment) & empty out wallets. It's absolutely not their job to make their place of work available for these kind of things. And implying that you have to do that if you want to have a majority of immigrant costumers is pretty problematic in and on itself.

I was working an office job in a big city's townhall as an employee of the city, where I had a lots and lots of costumers of diverse backgrounds, too. I had to live with being called a racist when having to deny applications or similiar things, too - and that's completely fine. Because you can be sure as hell that they suffered from racism basically everyday and now, me, another white dude in an office, seemed to again want to keep them from getting what they deserve. I just had to live with that and do my very best to explain the reason for denials and make sure they understood the reasons and that they weren't motivated by personal malice. I didn't achieve that always but again, that's ok.

OP: Maybe you guys could save up the 1€ you get from people using the bathroom to save up for a charity and maybe even make customers aware of that when they are in your business? Not as a shield to hide yourself away from discussions but to actually make that policy have a nice side effect?

 

[TokyoJoe]

I think Op is a good person. Don't worry about those trying to get under your skin. Some people try to do that all the time. Ignore them.

 

[Klyka]

But these aren't your customers, right? Because they haven't bought anything? What if I bought something yesterday, can I come in today to use the bathroom?

In terms of fairness, if I were white, and therefore not your typical clientele, would I be able to use the bathroom if I asked really nicely? I know what you will reflexively say, but stop and think before you answer.

What about your shop, do you guys have any employees that aren't white? From your narrative, it seems like you are in an area with a lot of diversity. Because you keep saying your typical clientele is immigrant, but so is the amount of people wanting to use the bathroom that are not your clientele. The immigrant population is your bread and butter, they keep you employed. But because some of them pooped in your bathroom, and you went out of your way to call out their criminality (how do you know it was a stolen wallet you found as opposed to......a wallet), I think you DO have an issue with the immigrant population. Take the good (the profit you make from them) with the bad (your area's apparent lack of public bathroom) if you still want to do business there. Your store's policy is inherently going to affect immigrants (which I guess is shorthand for non white Germans) more than white Germans, but that's because you've chosen a place and type of business that careers to that population. It's unfair that you have to be called a racist, but you've got the perfect storm of circumstances and the shop has to decide if it wants to keep placing you in that position. Tell the owner to open the bathrooms, and pay a cleaner. Or else move the shop to an area with better public restrooms.

Click to shrink...

Yeah I worded it wrong calling them "customers". They are just pedestrians coming into the store. I should have clarified that we are located in an inner city area close to the main station where a lot of people with an immigrant background live close by or travel through.
And yeah, we absolutely say "nope, pay please" to anyone, regardless of skin color.
And yes of course we have non white employees, come on man.
Regarding the stolen wallets, that's an actual thing that happened where we found a stolen wallet inside our toilets water container cause the water kept running and we opened it up finding a wallet stuck on the little flush lever inside. It had the ID and Student ID of a young woman in it and I brought it to the police personally.

 

[tokkun]

Yeah we did think about this when implementing the policy but since it is literally only about the actual usage of the bathrooms we figured that there isn't really a way that it could be abuse since the person wanting to use it can either just show a betting ticket or pay a 1€. We even make it so that if you pay 1€ for the bathroom, use it and then afterwards actually place a bet, you get your 1€ back.

Click to shrink...

The potential for abuse is right here:

you actually need to be a paying customer or a regular who is known to us

Click to shrink...

If the employees are allowed to bend the "you must pay or show a ticket" rule, it will eventually be abused.

Thinking "this is fine because I'm not a racist" is the old-school way of thinking about these things. The more modern view is that everyone (and I mean everyone) is vulnerable to unconscious biases, so the best way to avoid unintended discrimination is to reduce the opportunities for such discrimination to occur.

 

[gozu]

It's actually a really chill job, but just this regular thing now happening is fucking with me. Like, just call me an asshole or whatever, you know?

Click to shrink...

It's your bosses fault that you're getting yelled at. HE is the one who should be getting the flak, but life is unfair.

This whole not letting people use the bathroom unless they're customers is NOT very hospitable, especially from an eastern culture point of view.

I can totally understand why ignorant refugees would think you're a giant prick for violating such basic customs. And then, yeah, mistakenly assume it's because of racism. Because...sometimes it IS racism (see Starbucks). Or they use the racist word to hurt you because they're in discomfort or pain and you're telling them "shit in your pants, shit on the street, i don't care. Not my problem".

FYI, i would not call you a racist. Or an asshole. But I understand (cold) western customs. They probably do not.

Like that goose said, put in some anti-racism signs you can point at. It's PROOF you're not a racist ;)

Edit: also, you can't give regulars a pass on this. You undermine your entire "rules are rules" mantra and it's a bad look.

 

[GAMEPROFF]

Do your job. That's all. You have a policy, so you don't have to take this personaly.
People says stupid things when the don't have what they want. Don't let them influence you. Or you are dead.

Click to shrink...

this is so easy said and so difficult to do

 

[Oghuz]

As someone who worked in retail I can feel your pain. There are some REALLY entitled people out there. All we can do is remain patient and calm.

 

[Stooge]

When I was 20 or so I worked at Wells Fargo, and anytime anyone got more than 100 bucks out of their account in the motor bank (drive thru bank for non-Americans) we had to get 2 forms of ID *or* 1 form of ID and ask a question like "who is your employer, what check did you deposit last week" to verify someone didn't just steal someone's bag and write a check to themselves. It's hard to see a person's face if they were 3-4 lanes over and it was a common criminal tactic.

Of course, known customers were not really asked these questions because they were people we knew well bc they were in all the time.

Anyway I asked a guy (who was African American) some question to help get his money out and he buzzed back in and said "I think I've been racially profiled, what should I do?") and I explained the policy and why we do it, and left him my bosses business card. It super bothered me, but I did always get a chuckle that he asked me what he should do about what I just did.

 

[Klyka]

Yeah the "Regulars get a pass" thing can definitely seem open to abuse. We are talking about people who are here ever day for multiple hours though and place who knows how many bets so we all know them for years now.
Definitely a slippery slope though, I agree.

 

[Zelas]

Arguments with strangers typically bring out the worst behavior. Especially in situations where customers are involved.

 

[vanmardigan]

Finding emptied out wallets on the regular inside your bathroom is probably a pretty good sign that people don't actually keep losing their empty wallets in your bathroom.

Click to shrink...

Oh hey, look below, your assumptions were wrong. It was exactly one wallet, and from that story, its STILL not clear that it even was stolen rather than a drunk college student. Let's try to imagine what else you can be wrong about. For example, even if most shops in Germany have a customers only bathroom policy, who do you think is affected most?

Yeah I worded it wrong calling them "customers". They are just pedestrians coming into the store. I should have clarified that we are located in an inner city area close to the main station where a lot of people with an immigrant background live close by or travel through.
And yeah, we absolutely say "nope, pay please" to anyone, regardless of skin color.
And yes of course we have non white employees, come on man.
Regarding the stolen wallets, that's an actual thing that happened where we found a stolen wallet inside our toilets water container cause the water kept running and we opened it up finding a wallet stuck on the little flush lever inside. It had the ID and Student ID of a young woman in it and I brought it to the police personally.

Click to shrink...

What do the non white employees say when you are called a racist? Also, read back my post. Given who you are, where you are located, and who you make money from, you are being placed in a tough spot with this new policy. I think your owner needs to step up.

 

[Rogote]

Relax. You know YOU haven't done anything wrong and in all fairness, so do the people calling you racist. Just keep on trucking, that shit ain't on you.

 

[Mechanized]

Make the bathroom employees only, period. Sucks for your regulars but you don't need this headache.

 

[Klyka]

Oh hey, look below, your assumptions were wrong. It was exactly one wallet, and from that story, its STILL not clear that it even was stolen rather than a drunk college student. Let's try to imagine what else you can be wrong about. For example, even if most shops in Germany have a customers only bathroom policy, who do you think is affected most?



What do the non white employees say when you are called a racist? Also, read back my post. Given who you are, where you are located, and who you make money from, you are being placed in a tough spot with this new policy. I think your owner needs to step up.

Click to shrink...

It was a stolen wallet. The police said so and asked us later to provide video from our security cams to try and find the guy. The woman was robbed the night before.
I really don't know what you are trying to do here.

My coworkers think it's ridiculous.

The thread isn't even about the actual policy which everyone in the store agrees has been a good decision, it's just about my personal experience.

Make the bathroom employees only, period. Sucks for your regulars but you don't need this headache.

Click to shrink...

Well it IS the customer bathroom haha.

 

[vanmardigan]

It was a stolen wallet. The police said so and asked us later to provide video from our security cams to try and find the guy. The woman was robbed the night before.
I really don't know what you are trying to do here.

My coworkers think it's ridiculous.

The thread isn't even about the actual policy which everyone in the store agrees has been a good decision, it's just about my personal experience.


Well it IS the customer bathroom haha.

Click to shrink...

What I'm trying to do is give you a different perspective and maybe help you understand why some of this is happening. The problem is absolutely the policy. Unless you think the problem is the community that provides your livelihood.

 

[Westbahnhof]

What I'm trying to do is give you a different perspective and maybe help you understand why some of this is happening. The problem is absolutely the policy. Unless you think the problem is the community that provides your livelihood.

Click to shrink...

Customers are unreasonable. Obviously they are a huge part of the problem.
I get to discuss "but why" complaints all the time in my job. Haven't been called a racist, but I am convinced that people in general are just way too entitled in their role as potential customer.

The policy, in my opinion, makes sense.

 

[Klyka]

What I'm trying to do is give you a different perspective and maybe help you understand why some of this is happening. The problem is absolutely the policy. Unless you think the problem is the community that provides your livelihood.

Click to shrink...

None of the people who get angry and call me a racist are our customers though. They are random pedestrians who just want to use our bathroom for free.
They really don't provide our livelihood.

 

[Westbahnhof]

None of the people who get angry and call me a racist are our customers though. They are random pedestrians who just want to use our bathroom for free.
They really don't provide our livelihood.

Click to shrink...

We recently raised our entry fee on holidays from "free" to "5€". It gets some people so mad, you'd think I personally promised them free entry the day before.
Consumer/customer entitlement can be a real pain.

 

[Klyka]

We recently raised our entry fee on holidays from "free" to "5€". It gets some people so mad, you'd think I personally promised them free entry the day before.
Consumer/customer entitlement can be a real pain.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, I got some stories like that as well, but overall it's actually really positive working cause the customers here are very chill and just want to place their bets and watch the games/races.
It's just those random "bathroom tourists" who go nuts over it.

 

[Westbahnhof]

Yeah, I got some stories like that as well, but overall it's actually really positive working cause the customers here are very chill and just want to place their bets and watch the games/races.
It's just those random "bathroom tourists" who go nuts over it.

Click to shrink...

Yeah yeah, out of 1000 people, the number of those who are annoying is probably 10, with about 1 being really unpleasant. But it still sucks when it happens.

 

[bane833]

Lol why do you even care what these scumbags say?

 

[Reverse Giraffe]

You are not being racist. It shouldn't bother you.

 

[nekkid]

I once had a guy call me a racist after he hit me in his car and I demanded his insurance documentation. I was angry, but it's not like I used any slurs.

I didn't make things any better tbf, I just instantly laughed at him for how utterly ridiculous he was, and how offensive it was to try and use that as leverage.

 

[KDR_11k]

Tell the owner to open the bathrooms, and pay a cleaner. Or else move the shop to an area with better public restrooms.

Click to shrink...

Bathrooms with a cleaner usually charge 50 cents to non-customers anyway. It's likely that there are public restrooms nearby but either people want to dodge the charge or if it's a free bathroom it's likely dirty as hell (free bathrooms get abused a lot). You often see tighter bathroom rules in places with a lot of non-customers using the toilet, e.g. McDonalds at the train station even issues you one-time PINs for unlocking the bathroom door if you buy something.

Make the bathroom employees only, period. Sucks for your regulars but you don't need this headache.

Click to shrink...

If the place is serving drinks it's legally required to have a customer bathroom.

 

[Sphinx]

Tell the owner to open the bathrooms, and pay a cleaner

Click to shrink...

Do you live in Germany?? I don't think you understand what's the situation and how things unfold here....

If your workplace is around the inner area, let's say near a train station, you have people that drink alcohol and take hard drugs 24/7 there. They gather there in the train station, and they aren't 2 or 3 people....

These people are desperate (to put it mildly) to find a private place (like a cosy warm bathroom in winter) where they can use their needles to inject whatever substances they have and do all sorts of nasty stuff.

since they have been taking substances for years, they are like zombies, they won't react to a "Please don't do this", they don't know their names or anything, you have to guide them out and they'll come again after some hours if you keep your toilets open to everyone.

not just Casinos or gambling places are targets for these creeps, my workplace is a school for children ages 4~18 and yep we are near the main train station. we had to keep toilets closed at all times cause children would find syringes, needles and blood when they went to the toilet....one guy stole a coffee machine not long ago.

I am surprised to read OP's workplace at any point not long ago let random people, non-customers in the toilets.

 

[Klyka]

We do have a cleaning lady btw who cleans every morning and there were days where I came into the store in the morning and she was literally crying about the state of the bathroom because she had to clean shit off the walls and things like that.

 

[NoblesseOblige]

are there not public restrooms in a presumably high traffic area?

 

[Kyougar]

Same thing happened in my workplace OP.

I worked 1 year for a budget phone-carrier in a call-center that heavily advertised their budget line to immigrants (they even had a separate Turkish language phone line because so many Turkish people had bought their phones and contracts). So the proportional share of immigrant callers was bigger than on the other projects I worked on over the last decade.
The quality was shit, the infrastructure was shit, the policies were shit, the company itself was shit. And we little workers had to explain it to the customers. Some where understanding, some called us racist because we couldn't give them what they demanded. The "beauty" of it all, was the fact that no-one could see the face of the other person. So there were instances where I would be called a racist and I asked myself how should I even know that the person on the other end was "not german"? His name wasn't overly unrecognizable as not-german and he spoke high-german without an accent.
The other laughable thing was when some of my colleagues with a migrant background got called racist.
Or the time when my black friend shot up from his seat and shouted to the whole room "Attention everyone! I am racist!" (He was a bit of a drama-clown ;) )

 

[MRrogermoore]

I think they pull the racism card because policies like that sometimes come with a racial bias. I think some of them might have experienced it or racism before, so I can see where they re coming from; I mean let's face it racism and racial bias at work is very real.