You weren't expecting him to cry from that? You spent 40 minutes ranting about his life and how terrible he is, and how he was ruining yours and others lives. It's one thing to feel like you're the problem in your own life, but to throw it in his face that he's a burden and hurting everyone around him would only compound the problems. A lot of people who suffer from anxiety and depression are very aware of what options they have to actually improve their life, but because they have that anxiety/depression it prevents them from actually going through with the steps. With anxiety, it can be paralyzing to take that step and it's easy to get stuck in your own head about the possibilities. Depression can do similar things where they feel like nothing they do can actually fix the issue, so they don't actually take the steps either. Whether its seeing a therapist, exercising, or just taking care of themselves more, depression makes it much harder to actually see the benefits in those. It's easier for him to say that therapists are too expensive than it is for him to explain that he doesn't feel like they can actually help him.
I can't speak for your friend personally, but when people reach out and have trouble making progress, it's not necessarily because they want a pity party, but they're desperate to find some kind of solution they haven't thought of or some way to actually take those steps forward because they're miserable. I get that you reached your breaking point after 10 years, and its not on you to fix anyone, but I don't think the way you went about this was really the best way to get him help. I'm not really a fan of the whole tough love kind of thing in general, it wasn't helpful in the slightest when I was struggling and just made me feel worse.
