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I'm a complete failure and i'll never be anything more. Best way to end it all?

Dec 21, 2017
407
I'm done with life. There is absolutely no reason to continue living through this farce. I've spent the last decade regretting surviving suicide, and the longer I live and try to change things, the more I realize there has only been one way to fix it.

What's the best way to end myself before I have to live through another year of knowing every facet of loserdom? There are absolutely no pros to existing another day, if you're going to try that shit, get the fuck out.
 

Ebnas

Member
May 15, 2019
142
If you can't suss out a reason to live, then at least think of the person(s) that has to find and clean up your body. Do you really want to do that to anyone else, much less a potential loved one?
 

MetatronM

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,779
You know what, this is a rare occasion where avatar posting in earnest seems like a good idea. Simon was a loser until he decided to dig up instead of down one day.
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral
Dec 21, 2017
407
Don't tell yourself that. Ever.

Keep going.
Tried that. I'll give you your own personal variation of "Fuck THAT".

bro look at your avatar

Shut up, shoot for the star mans. Believe in the me that believes in you.
I'm too far gone for that to apply.

please get help, fam

you wouldn't have made this thread if you actually wanted to kill yourself
This is my way of getting help. You're right, part of me is preventing me from killing myself, and that's the problem. Getting better means i'm not alive.
 

Mariolee

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,906
Obviously we don't want you to kill yourself. People have gone to jail and lost everything and come back on top.

Please tell us more about your life, maybe it'll help us get a better perspective.
 

Bio

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
2,501
Denver, Colorado
I'm done with life. There is absolutely no reason to continue living through this farce. I've spent the last decade regretting surviving suicide, and the longer I live and try to change things, the more I realize there has only been one way to fix it.

What's the best way to end myself before I have to live through another year of knowing every facet of loserdom? There are absolutely no pros to existing another day, if you're going to try that shit, get the fuck out.
You're neither a failure, nor a loser. I don't have any good answers for you, but there are people out there who do. Please, please talk to someone before you do anything. Help is out there, and you deserve it.
 

CallMeShaft

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
1,789
I understand how you feel. Just understand that you are your own worst critic and while you may view yourself as a failure, that doesn't mean that that's how others view you.

If your going to end it, your going to end it. You've regretted not doing it for a decade now. But don't do it because your life doesn't compare with someone else's, that you feel that you compare unfavorably to those you compare yourself with. Because if you end your life because of that, then you didn't give your life a fair shake.
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral
Dec 21, 2017
407
Please seek help, no matter how down you feel, it's not worth ending your life over.
My life is absolutely worth ending. It's already reached it's end years ago and worn out its fucking welcome this decade. There is absolutely no reason for me to stay alive. I'd rather be dead.

You're neither a failure, nor a loser. I don't have any good answers for you, but there are people out there who do. Please, please talk to someone before you do anything. Help is out there, and you deserve it.
I'm both. I've spent a good number of years trying not to be only to realize that no matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough for anything. What is there to talk about? Nothing anyone says is going to be able to make a better use of my life than a bloodstain on the wall.

I understand how you feel. Just understand that you are your own worst critic and while you may view yourself as a failure, that doesn't mean that that's how others view you.

If your going to end it, your going to end it. You've regretted not doing it for a decade now. But don't do it because your life doesn't compare with someone else's, that you feel that you compare unfavorably to those you compare yourself with. Because if you end your life because of that, then you didn't give your life a fair shake.
No, my life doesn't compare to any metric I could imagine. I put effort into striving for things only to fail at them constantly. I'm a failing loser by my own metric and no one elses. Well, maybe others, but I don't count theiers. My life was given a fair shake, and i'm just done.


You think you know your life can never improve. That is just not epistemically possible. Most of us barely know anything.
No, it can improve. Those improvements mean i'm not alive, and that's all the improvement I need.
 

Musubi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,769
Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Its always worth getting up in the morning and trying again. Set small attainable goals for yourself. If you look at the whole picture and all of your problems at once your just going to be overwhelmed. Zoom in and focus on one thing at a time. Set small near term goals for yourself and then move on to a new one every time you accomplish one and eventually you'll have accomplished more than you have thought is possible.
 

Clefargle

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,424
Limburg
Don’t give up OP, fuck the standards that society uses. Don’t buy into this “loser vs success” mindset. It’s been marketed to you your whole life, but it isn’t the way humans work. That toxic shit doesn’t define you, it’s just a metric that assholes use to make value judgements about human beings.
 

Nerfgun

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,402
My life is absolutely worth ending. It's already reached it's end years ago and worn out its fucking welcome this decade. There is absolutely no reason for me to stay alive. I'd rather be dead.
I'll be very real with you here. All you will find here is a lot of support, or a thread lock. No one is going to coach you on how to kill yourself.
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral
Dec 21, 2017
407
Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Its always worth getting up in the morning and trying again. Set small attainable goals for yourself. If you look at the whole picture and all of your problems at once your just going to be overwhelmed. Zoom in and focus on one thing at a time. Set small near term goals for yourself and then move on to a new one every time you accomplish one and eventually you'll have accomplished more than you have thought is possible.
It's a permanent solution to a permanent problem. My life is THE problem. Ending it would be those small goals. It's the only thing worth accomplishing.

Don’t give up OP, fuck the standards that society uses. Don’t buy into this “loser vs success” mindset. It’s been marketed to you your whole life, but it isn’t the way humans work. That toxic shit doesn’t define you, it’s just a metric that assholes use to make value judgements about human beings.
Sorry, but that's the way it goes. It does define me. I am a huge fucking loser. By every definition. I've realized my existence is toxic and that's another reason why I'm looking to end it.

Would you consider a radical change? End your life as you know it, not suicide type of thing?
Probably not. I'm absolutely fucking tired of false promises and other bullshit people parade as a better option. I'd rather just take the bullet to the brain and spare myself the banalities.
 

Potterson

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,007
As Musubi wrote, suicide is permanent. Compare forever to the possible decades of life during which it can get better. Man, you have no idea what's after death. You don't. Don't play russian rulette.
 

TheGhost

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,143
Long Island
I'm done with life. There is absolutely no reason to continue living through this farce. I've spent the last decade regretting surviving suicide, and the longer I live and try to change things, the more I realize there has only been one way to fix it.

What's the best way to end myself before I have to live through another year of knowing every facet of loserdom? There are absolutely no pros to existing another day, if you're going to try that shit, get the fuck out.
I feel this way everyday of my life
And if I gave in.....well I wouldn't have been around to appreciate all the good things that happened to me since those thoughts originally crept into my head.

Could life suck? Sure....but it also filled with positive unexpected surprises. Chin up and keep on living
 

Masterz1337

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,446
The best way to end it all is to pick yourself up and learn from what has made you unhappy. You don’t need to give up, you can do better for yourself and realize what good you have to offer to other people.

Take a nap, things will feel better later and you can look at how to improve your life.
 

Bio

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
2,501
Denver, Colorado
I'm both. I've spent a good number of years trying not to be only to realize that no matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough for anything. What is there to talk about? Nothing anyone says is going to be able to make a better use of my life than a bloodstain on the wall.
Maybe you just need a different approach, or a different perspective, to help you get on the path you want to be. No one has all this shit figured out, I can assure you of that. Everyone in life is just fucking winging it, doing the best we can, and a lot of us are faking it until we (hopefully) make it. Some of us get luckier than others. Some of us have better support systems than others. You're not any lesser of a person just because things haven't come around for you yet.

It's your life to do with what you want, but I sincerely hope that you take every possible approach before you take the only one that's truly irrevocable. I think (hope) that the reason you reached out to all of us today is because, on some level, you know you don't really want to end it. Keep talking to us, reach out to other people, do damn near anything but what you're talking about in your first post. Please. Please keep trying. I know that I, and others here, will help you in any way we can.

You've got a lot of people right here who want you to continue to be here. I bet there are other people in your life who feel the same way. You don't have to go through this alone.
 

Callhitman

Member
Oct 25, 2017
392
Yuba city
1-800-273-8255 bro make the call. Tou need real help. Many of us have been in this position in life. I know twice I considered it. In the long run I kept trying and it all turned around. It's one day at a time and it's about making the positive changes. So.etimes that's moving to a better place. Sometimes it's just grinding threw till you can get life back on track. Trust many of the people here. This is a community that can help you.
 

capitalCORN

Member
Oct 26, 2017
8,496
If you haven't, cry. Then call for help. There are those who love you, or may never will because you think this split moment is worth more than all the treasures on Earth.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,561
I've been where you are op, in terms of feeling completely and utterly hooeless. It CAN get better, no matter how shit you are feeling right now, no matter long you've been suffering with this.
 

AGoodODST

Member
Oct 28, 2017
899
Why do you consider yourself a loser? What do you feel you have failed at so bad?

Failure doesn’t define you. You are you and you are totally worth it. Really hope pull through OP. Loads of people here if your get need to talk.
 

Callhitman

Member
Oct 25, 2017
392
Yuba city
Before you make any decisions let us know what's going on that makes you feel this way? I'm almost 40 I went threw almost two decades of being knocked down and getting hit by every bad luck thing life could throw. I learned your never alone and that if you keep trying you will get there. You just need help and guidance. People can help you make those steps bro. Let's us all help you.
 

Papa Satanás

Member
Oct 25, 2017
664
no
Call the hotline.

Speaking as someone who could have written this very op years ago and have since come out of it (don't fucking ask me how, I don't know), you can get better.
 
Sep 28, 2018
1,036
"If you're going through hell, keep going."
-Winston Churchill

I did... 2013 was the worst year of my life, bad thing after bad thing mounted and mounted. I've stopped making any long term plans because life is unpredictable and you just don't know whats going to happen. I can tell you now that my life is nothing like it was those short few years ago. I'm so glad I didn't end it when I felt like you do now.

It's never too late to turn your life around, identify the things that are making you unhappy and if you can be proactive about making small incremental changes to lessen them.


Remember in her 30's J.K Rowling who wrote harry potter was a struggling single mum who couldn't pay her bills... Now look.
 

Tora

Member
Jun 17, 2018
1,123
Yeah why do you feel that way? Brother I was in the same spot as you just 4 months ago, it really does get better no matter what your mind is telling you.
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral
Dec 21, 2017
407
Under what metric are you a loser?
Everybody fails.
I'm jobless. Stupid. Ugly. Lonely. In what metric am I NOT?

Maybe you just need a different approach, or a different perspective, to help you get on the path you want to be. No one has all this shit figured out, I can assure you of that. Everyone in life is just fucking winging it, doing the best we can, and a lot of us are faking it until we (hopefully) make it. Some of us get luckier than others. Some of us have better support systems than others. You're not any lesser of a person just because things haven't come around for you yet.

It's your life to do with what you want, but I sincerely hope that you take every possible approach before you take the only one that's truly irrevocable. I think (hope) that the reason you reached out to all of us today is because, on some level, you know you don't really want to end it. Keep talking to us, reach out to other people, do damn near anything but what you're talking about in your first post. Please. Please keep trying. I know that I, and others here, will help you in any way we can.

You've got a lot of people right here who want you to continue to be here. I bet there are other people in your life who feel the same way. You don't have to go through this alone.
My support system doesn't extend beyond this topic, and It never will. I'm unemployed and can't afford therapy.

I know it's irrevocable but at some point when you realize you have to look in the mirror and realize that no matter how hard you struggle, no matter how hard you try, you will never be good enough for anything, there's only one solution. Talk is cheap, it's not going to do anything or offer anything more than the front end of a speeding train.

You actually think there are other people in my life? That's hilarious. As such, yes, I do have to go through it alone.
 

Lucas M. Thomas

Editor-in-Chief of Nintendo Force Magazine
Verified
Oct 30, 2017
654
Kentucky
Someone posted the 1-800 number already, but you can also text “Hello” to 741741 if you don’t feel like having a phone call. Either way you should get in touch with someone who is better suited to having a good conversation with you about suicide than the forum posters here, as well-meaning as everyone is. Hope you’ll reach out, OP.
 

Clefargle

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,424
Limburg
It's a permanent solution to a permanent problem. My life is THE problem. Ending it would be those small goals. It's the only thing worth accomplishing.



Sorry, but that's the way it goes. It does define me. I am a huge fucking loser. By every definition. I've realized my existence is toxic and that's another reason why I'm looking to end it.


Probably not. I'm absolutely fucking tired of false promises and other bullshit people parade as a better option. I'd rather just take the bullet to the brain and spare myself the banalities.
OP that’s how it feels but you have to accept the fact that your feelings may not accurately represent the world. You may not be thinking clearly and you sound depressed. That means your brain has a literal imbalance and you are not in the position to condemn yourself for your own perceived failings. Plenty of people fail at plenty of things. I’ve failed at things this year last year and the year before. You aren’t unique in your level of failure, it may feel that way because you only have your perspective to draw from. It’s actually kind of insulting that you think you’ve hit some low that no one has ever reached before. Shit I know people that never tried to do anything worth failing at. If you can’t see value in the fact that you could keep trying things whether or not they met some arbitrary metric of “success”, then you should take some time and stop brow beating yourself about this stuff.
 

Musubi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,769
It's a permanent solution to a permanent problem. My life is THE problem. Ending it would be those small goals. It's the only thing worth accomplishing
Look, I get it. I struggle with bouts of depression myself. I have frequent thoughts of suicidal idolation myself. You say you want to kill yourself but man c'mon it doesn't take a rocket scientist to think of a dozen or so fatal ways to end yourself. That's not what you want from posting here.

Some days I look out at the world and shit just seems so bleak. But if you don't try nothing will ever get better. Nobody here can obviously stop you if you want to actually kill yourself but I implore you to actually try. Everyone is going to die eventually but not everyone gets a chance to live. Do something with your chance to live.

If you want to talk in a more private setting Im sure plenty of people here including myself would be willing to talk via PM's.
 
Oct 28, 2017
695
I’ve felt that way before too OP, don’t give up.

I would recommend trying some outside of the box solutions to get yourself in the right headspace. Microdosing psychedelics was an enormous benefit to me.
 

Reeks

Member
Oct 27, 2017
813
It's a permanent solution to a permanent problem. My life is THE problem. Ending it would be those small goals. It's the only thing worth accomplishing.



Sorry, but that's the way it goes. It does define me. I am a huge fucking loser. By every definition. I've realized my existence is toxic and that's another reason why I'm looking to end it.


Probably not. I'm absolutely fucking tired of false promises and other bullshit people parade as a better option. I'd rather just take the bullet to the brain and spare myself the banalities.
Fair enough. False promises blow. When I'm feeling like I want to end it all, the thing I hate the most is people telling me "it'll get better". Feel like it's so dismissive, although I know it comes from a good place. There are no magic answers, radical change is just a strategy that works for me. Before I make that leap I told myself, I'll sell everything and move to Thailand. But it's just my strategy, my tool, not an answer... really sorry if it came off as trying to tell you what to do. Just know that you are not alone. I dont understand what you're going through, but I know what it's like to want out. DM me if you want to talk. I'm so fucking sorry you feel this way.
 

oreomunsta

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
1,992
OP, don't choose to end your life. That's not an improvement. It's an unfortunate conclusion :(

You call yourself stupid, but based on your messages, you are an effective communicator through writing. Do you do anything with writing?

If you don't do something with that at the moment, it's a skill you have that this rando on the internet recognizes in you. Good communicative ability isn't a mark of stupidity
 

echoshifting

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
2,475
The Negative Zone
I don't think you would be here posting this thread and replying to posts if you were really ready to kill yourself. You know this isn't the place where anyone is going to answer the question in the op.

Please do not put finding your body on someone else. Please do not leave your loved ones asking if they could have done more for you. Please do not put it on us to wonder if we failed to say the right thing to help you.

There is a way out of this frame of mind. You can find it, I believe you can. Many have been posted. Find your way.
 

immortal-joe

Member
Oct 25, 2017
771
There's something inside you that wanted to start this thread. You're speaking into the void and you want someone to talk back.

We're here, and we're telling you to tap into the instinct in all of us to keep fighting. Don't let the darkness win, don't quit.

Many have stood where you are now, and made it through. Call the suicide hotline, get some help, talk to a doctor.

Fight. Please.