I am curious where people stand on this. I'm gonna try to illustrate this question with examples.
The Nice-But-Ignorant Example:
When it comes to politics, my in-laws are fairly clueless white people, but I generally get along with them because they really go out of their way to be nice, socialize with people of color, and more. But the finer points of modern inclusivity elude them. I suspect that it's stuff that if they actually got called out on by someone who they offended, they would be horrified and try to correct, but talking about things theoretically, they simply don't understand what the big deal is. Further, since they aren't the types to go trawling progressive forums and diving deep into Twitter threads about lived experiences, they view a lot of modern social rules as annoying tut-tutting from joyless scolds. The more recent the rule, the less likely they are to know it; they have defended singing songs by black artists "as they were written" (you understand?) at karaoke, and they are likely to presume Asians are first or second generation and will ask where their family is "from" (as I've seen). But they'll also watch their neighbors kids when the parents need to go to the hospital, or fly across the country to help my wife and I as new parents struggling with twin infants.
Pros:
- Friendly with everybody, treats everyone with a baseline of respect
- Goes out of their way for anybody who needs it
Cons:
- Out of touch and has no habits that would put them in touch
- Likey to hurt/offend someone soon
The Rude-But-Woke Example:
A phenomenon I see online is people who exercising their (earned! and deserved!) right to "punch up" at majority groups with truly hateful abandon. For example, an ex girlfriend of mine just generally calls men "trash," jokes that she's "a misandrist," and has even had her twitter account suspended for replying to a guy who argued with her with pictures of severed penises (!). There are large portions of the population who, privileged as they may be, are not treated with even basic respect, and this inhibits many social interactions from going in any sort of positive direction. Angry and hard to socialize with, and cynical about people and the world, they rage about power imbalance and how they "hate white people" and "cishets" so forth. I recall it being quite a lonely and isolated time when we were together. But one thing they would never do is cross a trans person or a queer person or a woman, or fail to listen to (and truly try to empathize with the experiences of) a person of color. My ex's best friend is in fact a trans woman and she is constantly retweeting her perspectives. If you are of these marginalized groups, there is always time to spare to hear what you have to say.
Pros:
- Friendly to the marginalized, treats them with a huge amount of respect
- Goes out of their way for the marginalized
Cons:
- Not many friends IRL; generally angry/caustic and hard to get along with
- If you're not in a marginalized group, your feelings of offense do not matter to them
The Nice-But-Ignorant Example:
When it comes to politics, my in-laws are fairly clueless white people, but I generally get along with them because they really go out of their way to be nice, socialize with people of color, and more. But the finer points of modern inclusivity elude them. I suspect that it's stuff that if they actually got called out on by someone who they offended, they would be horrified and try to correct, but talking about things theoretically, they simply don't understand what the big deal is. Further, since they aren't the types to go trawling progressive forums and diving deep into Twitter threads about lived experiences, they view a lot of modern social rules as annoying tut-tutting from joyless scolds. The more recent the rule, the less likely they are to know it; they have defended singing songs by black artists "as they were written" (you understand?) at karaoke, and they are likely to presume Asians are first or second generation and will ask where their family is "from" (as I've seen). But they'll also watch their neighbors kids when the parents need to go to the hospital, or fly across the country to help my wife and I as new parents struggling with twin infants.
Pros:
- Friendly with everybody, treats everyone with a baseline of respect
- Goes out of their way for anybody who needs it
Cons:
- Out of touch and has no habits that would put them in touch
- Likey to hurt/offend someone soon
The Rude-But-Woke Example:
A phenomenon I see online is people who exercising their (earned! and deserved!) right to "punch up" at majority groups with truly hateful abandon. For example, an ex girlfriend of mine just generally calls men "trash," jokes that she's "a misandrist," and has even had her twitter account suspended for replying to a guy who argued with her with pictures of severed penises (!). There are large portions of the population who, privileged as they may be, are not treated with even basic respect, and this inhibits many social interactions from going in any sort of positive direction. Angry and hard to socialize with, and cynical about people and the world, they rage about power imbalance and how they "hate white people" and "cishets" so forth. I recall it being quite a lonely and isolated time when we were together. But one thing they would never do is cross a trans person or a queer person or a woman, or fail to listen to (and truly try to empathize with the experiences of) a person of color. My ex's best friend is in fact a trans woman and she is constantly retweeting her perspectives. If you are of these marginalized groups, there is always time to spare to hear what you have to say.
Pros:
- Friendly to the marginalized, treats them with a huge amount of respect
- Goes out of their way for the marginalized
Cons:
- Not many friends IRL; generally angry/caustic and hard to get along with
- If you're not in a marginalized group, your feelings of offense do not matter to them
