My girlfriend's father took her family and myself out to dinner following her brother's graduation. In total, it was a group of six. We ate at a sushi/hibachi place that certainly was not cheap. Our group ordered a total of four appetizers, four sushi rolls, two hibachi plates, and multiple alcoholic drinks.
I thought the service from our waiter was pretty great. He was a charismatic guy, and graduated from the same school as my girlfriend's brother so they shared some funny anecdotes about attending the school.
All was going fairly well until my girlfriend requested additional napkins from the waiter. He came back with a stack of six large napkins. The dad's fiancee said "Oh no, we're going to need twice as many napkins" (no clue why?), and the waiter responded with "Are you sure? I brought one for each member of the party." The dad and his fiancee said in summary "Yes of course, we asked for a reason" so the waiter comes back shortly with 12 extra napkins for a grand total of 18 napkins, not including the ones that came wrapped in everyone's silverware. So that's 24 total napkins for six people.
Even though these extra napkins sat unused on the table through the entire meal, the dad and his fiancee spent the rest of the dinner complaining about how rude the waiter was for not immediately bringing the extra napkins as soon as they asked for them.
Once we wrapped up dinner, the waiter handed the check to the dad and let him know that since we ordered four custom sushi rolls, the waiter split the gratuity with the sushi line chefs but any additional tip on top of the gratuity would stay in the waiter's pocket. After the waiter left the table, the dad went on a rant about how the waiter did not deserve a tip because he did not bring the additional napkins (that went unused) immediately. He zeroed out the extra tip line so the waiter and sushi chefs would split a $30 gratuity on a very large order for a difficult table.
I thought the dad was being ridiculous, so I pulled out the $9 I had in my wallet and put it down on the table for an additional tip. My girlfriend's dad noticed this and said that it wasn't necessary and that he was paying for our dinner. I thanked him and said I was aware but wanted to leave something extra for the waiter.
After my girlfriend and I left the restaurant, she told me that it was rude of me to put down an extra tip. She agreed that her dad and his fiancee were being ridiculous, but putting an extra tip on the table made her dad look rude and cheap as he was the one paying for dinner. While I can see her side, I think I did the right thing. In hindsight, the only change I would have made would have been to give the waiter the tip discretely and apologize for the trouble our table gave him.
What say you, ERA? Was I in the wrong here?
TLDR: GF says it's rude to leave an additional tip on the table if someone else is paying, even if they short the wait staff
I thought the service from our waiter was pretty great. He was a charismatic guy, and graduated from the same school as my girlfriend's brother so they shared some funny anecdotes about attending the school.
All was going fairly well until my girlfriend requested additional napkins from the waiter. He came back with a stack of six large napkins. The dad's fiancee said "Oh no, we're going to need twice as many napkins" (no clue why?), and the waiter responded with "Are you sure? I brought one for each member of the party." The dad and his fiancee said in summary "Yes of course, we asked for a reason" so the waiter comes back shortly with 12 extra napkins for a grand total of 18 napkins, not including the ones that came wrapped in everyone's silverware. So that's 24 total napkins for six people.
Even though these extra napkins sat unused on the table through the entire meal, the dad and his fiancee spent the rest of the dinner complaining about how rude the waiter was for not immediately bringing the extra napkins as soon as they asked for them.
Once we wrapped up dinner, the waiter handed the check to the dad and let him know that since we ordered four custom sushi rolls, the waiter split the gratuity with the sushi line chefs but any additional tip on top of the gratuity would stay in the waiter's pocket. After the waiter left the table, the dad went on a rant about how the waiter did not deserve a tip because he did not bring the additional napkins (that went unused) immediately. He zeroed out the extra tip line so the waiter and sushi chefs would split a $30 gratuity on a very large order for a difficult table.
I thought the dad was being ridiculous, so I pulled out the $9 I had in my wallet and put it down on the table for an additional tip. My girlfriend's dad noticed this and said that it wasn't necessary and that he was paying for our dinner. I thanked him and said I was aware but wanted to leave something extra for the waiter.
After my girlfriend and I left the restaurant, she told me that it was rude of me to put down an extra tip. She agreed that her dad and his fiancee were being ridiculous, but putting an extra tip on the table made her dad look rude and cheap as he was the one paying for dinner. While I can see her side, I think I did the right thing. In hindsight, the only change I would have made would have been to give the waiter the tip discretely and apologize for the trouble our table gave him.
What say you, ERA? Was I in the wrong here?
TLDR: GF says it's rude to leave an additional tip on the table if someone else is paying, even if they short the wait staff
