That's very often part of it; someone pretends to be someone more attractive in an online relationship.
Is it wrong to still expect apology after being catfished (long time ago)?
- Thread starter RustyNails
- Start date
Dudes a dick and shouldn't have done it, and should have apologised at the time.
However harbouring this grudge for so long without seeking closure is beating a dead horse. You've both moved on with your lives and went seperate ways. You've had your own life and just need to forget the past and not let it constrict or upset you.
If a situation permits where you could ask him one to one if he remembers then go for it, or if you feel comfortable messaging him.
Silently brooding over it for so long is not good for yourself. Either drop thinking about it and accept it was a dick move on his part and you've both moved on, or directly seek closure. Don't sit on the fence letting it beat you up. Because honestly at this point you shouldn't sit waiting for an apology: it isn't going to happen, he's moved on with his life and probably wouldn't remember it off his own back unless it was brought up.
However harbouring this grudge for so long without seeking closure is beating a dead horse. You've both moved on with your lives and went seperate ways. You've had your own life and just need to forget the past and not let it constrict or upset you.
If a situation permits where you could ask him one to one if he remembers then go for it, or if you feel comfortable messaging him.
Silently brooding over it for so long is not good for yourself. Either drop thinking about it and accept it was a dick move on his part and you've both moved on, or directly seek closure. Don't sit on the fence letting it beat you up. Because honestly at this point you shouldn't sit waiting for an apology: it isn't going to happen, he's moved on with his life and probably wouldn't remember it off his own back unless it was brought up.
The guy that did this was you friend? What a douche.
Anyway, if it still bothers you bring it up the next time you’re talking or when you meet in person.
Anyway, if it still bothers you bring it up the next time you’re talking or when you meet in person.
I gotcha.
I suppose I meant online meeting but intent to meet in person.
What is this? Seems very familiar...you're not the only one TC.
Totally understandable. But as an outsider, I'm tempted to say that it seems to be the kind of thing this person would have completely forgotten about. Sometimes in order to get an apology, we have to expose those emotions we feel even if it's not comfortable.
It's a personal decision, of course - the risk of exposing your vulnerability to someone who hurt you versus the burden of holding onto the hurt.
Ive got no idea why you kept even the skeleton of a friendship/acquaintanceship going. I was catfished by a regular date and made it a point to never interact with that person again. It’s completely cowardly bs honestly and more fucked when they get off on preying on people's emotions, vulnerabilities, money and energy. But that also makes them the type of person who won’t learn and won’t admit fault. You’ve got to just leave catfishers in your rear view.
OP, have a chat with your friend. If they’re really your friend they will hear you out just know that it may take good communication on your part since it has been 10 years and their initial reaction may not be what you like. Just bring it up to them gracefully and let them know you don’t hold a grudge, but it did hurt you. People in this thread don’t give time enough credit. It’s very possible he feels shitty about it and just can’t find a good way to apologize or thinks it would be weird to bring it up after so long. Even if he doesn’t remember, if you bring it up gracefully and he’s your friend he will at the very least know and grow from it. Or he doesn’t do any of this and that’s one less person in your life to worry about.
Edit: 10 years is also a really long time to not bring something up that you feel wronged about though and you will probably be rightfully questioned.
Edit: 10 years is also a really long time to not bring something up that you feel wronged about though and you will probably be rightfully questioned.
You had to grow a pair a decade ago, making it clear he's an asshole and that it wasn't funny, instead of going along to get along at that time. Now it's way too late. Too much time has passed. Let it go. He's probably forgotten all about it. You should to. Life's too short to be hung up on trivial nonsense like this. Unfriend or unfollow him to avoid 'seeing his name pop up', and move on.
OP
OP
Why don’t you just ask why he did it? That would likely spur an apology if he is truly a friend. Kids do stupid shit, but you should just ask him. The answer will tell you if you should let it go or drop him.
10 years have gone by, man. And he admittedly is no longer close with this person. There's no realistic course of action here that's gonna help anybody. Most likely if he "confronted" the guy, he'd end up feeling embarrassed all over again. There's no way he won't, after 10 damn years, come off like the petty/immature one in this. It's a joke that went too far, not something more serious like some actual crime or an assault, etc; had to be nipped in the bud then and there if anything. Too late now. Sounds like the TC isn't in a bad place in life right now. Beating this dead horse 10 years later helps nobody.
You seem pretty proud that you catfished someone and then got your ass (rightfully) beat.
I feel like that might soften the blows a little too much, although the extra fish stink may balance it out.
What's fucked up is that he put that much effort into humiliating you while under the pretence of friendship. I mean catfishing isn't a one-off joke, but a continued commitment to fuck with someone. I doubt I'd be able to forget something like that, too, it's just so unkind that it's actually difficult to understand, and that kind of stuff does stick with you imo.
High School is weird, it was a net positive for me.
Wouldn’t say I’m proud, but I definitely paid my kamic price!
Years later a girlfriend actually brought up that fight, and she had heard I told the guy he would be a killer just like his father (yeah his Dad was in jail for that). So yeah, what I did was messed up, but jeez I would never say something like that to anyone.
Well, you have him on facebook. Create a facebook page, with some random hot girl picture, add friends to it and then catfish him. When he's hooked, send him a picture of yourself with a payback is a bitch sign.
Aiight.
I would say , move past it. Some people do shitty stuff and try to pretend it ain't happen. Whether they forgot , or are pretending to forget, or are just a general sociopath. It happens. Trust me, my dad is this person, my dad was down right abusive and tries to pretend it ain't happen. Me, my sibling and my mom don't go for that, but that's who that guy is. He will never learn, and if he does its far too late to foster any meaningful relationship now.
Sometimes shit occurs, and sometimes people try to act like shit ain't occur. Be a better person than they are, and maybe if you see they are gonna catfish someone else, give the potential victim a warning.
That's all I got
I would say , move past it. Some people do shitty stuff and try to pretend it ain't happen. Whether they forgot , or are pretending to forget, or are just a general sociopath. It happens. Trust me, my dad is this person, my dad was down right abusive and tries to pretend it ain't happen. Me, my sibling and my mom don't go for that, but that's who that guy is. He will never learn, and if he does its far too late to foster any meaningful relationship now.
Sometimes shit occurs, and sometimes people try to act like shit ain't occur. Be a better person than they are, and maybe if you see they are gonna catfish someone else, give the potential victim a warning.
That's all I got
Maybe the OP isn't actually married and the friend is playing the long game.
Just let it go, it was a long time ago when you were both kids. Not worth holding onto a grudge for this long especially when it's something so inconsequential.
"Hahaha Yeah man it's no big deal!"
10 years later:
"I wonder if he's ever going to realize it's a big deal and out of the blue apologize for it?"
10 years later:
"I wonder if he's ever going to realize it's a big deal and out of the blue apologize for it?"
Oh course he should let it go, it's been over 10 years, probably closer to 15 by now. They were kids when this happened not worth stressing over.
The other guy probably doesn't even remember it and any apology now will be perfunctory at best.
Is there any significant events that happened to you recently? or do you feel like you are depressed? It might be triggered by something else entirely.
I suggest you confront him about this OP since I can see that it's really bothering you. You can't really move on if this is psychologically torturing you, just buy him a drink sometimes and talk to him about it. Be civil and direct, tell him that you are hurt and you are hoping he would apologize formally about it.
I suggest you confront him about this OP since I can see that it's really bothering you. You can't really move on if this is psychologically torturing you, just buy him a drink sometimes and talk to him about it. Be civil and direct, tell him that you are hurt and you are hoping he would apologize formally about it.
Did you cyber?
Weird question I know, but it's possible the other party was embarrassed? Or living out a fantasy/curiousity?
Months is a long time just for a 'joke'. How serious did it get?
I don't think you're wrong, you should have been apologized to, but 10 years is a long time, I'd drop that hope/expectation. If you can't, then unfriend. Not healthy to keep thinking about it that far gone.
Weird question I know, but it's possible the other party was embarrassed? Or living out a fantasy/curiousity?
Months is a long time just for a 'joke'. How serious did it get?
I don't think you're wrong, you should have been apologized to, but 10 years is a long time, I'd drop that hope/expectation. If you can't, then unfriend. Not healthy to keep thinking about it that far gone.
Did you stay in touch with him on fb for that long in hopes of an apology?
If not then each time you start a conversation with him you are refueling those grudges while still keeping up a front for a decade+. You are harming your mental health unnecessarily.
Ignore him, cut him out of your life and move on.
If not then each time you start a conversation with him you are refueling those grudges while still keeping up a front for a decade+. You are harming your mental health unnecessarily.
Ignore him, cut him out of your life and move on.
The person that catfished me when I was a teenager is still using that fake personality on all kinds of social media and psn to prey on teenagers. I forgave "her" at the time and we're still friends but sometimes I see "her" putting on the act and I can't help but shake my head. It's like dude you're a 30 something year old bald white dude pretending to be Yuko Ogura. Give it a rest already.
Sorry I'm venting but your situation is infuriating to me OP. Especially since I can justifiably assume the person that catfished you not only won't feel any remorse for how he hurt you. But, there's also a chance he'll try to turn it around and try to make you seem like a sick fuck for even remembering what happened.
Sorry I'm venting but your situation is infuriating to me OP. Especially since I can justifiably assume the person that catfished you not only won't feel any remorse for how he hurt you. But, there's also a chance he'll try to turn it around and try to make you seem like a sick fuck for even remembering what happened.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Why are users encouraging revenge? Just let the past go because bottling this up isn't healthy, at all.
I've never been catfished but I've went on an online date with someone whose photos were a bit misleading than what they looked like irl. Make sure to get full body shots yall. Those portrait shots, nahhhh.
In your situation it might make sense for him to have not really thought about it or whatever, so I wouldn't worry too much, though it's also understandable if you're still hurt by it.
But there are situations where it's more understandable to want an apology. For example, a guy I know on another gaming site was catfished by a guy on there for more than a couple years iirc. This was like six or seven years ago, but last year the guy found out and was still pissed at him. Back then, he bought him gifts, voice chatted, and treated it like a real relationship. The guy did apologize when we contacted him though it seemed a bit half-assed.
But there are situations where it's more understandable to want an apology. For example, a guy I know on another gaming site was catfished by a guy on there for more than a couple years iirc. This was like six or seven years ago, but last year the guy found out and was still pissed at him. Back then, he bought him gifts, voice chatted, and treated it like a real relationship. The guy did apologize when we contacted him though it seemed a bit half-assed.