To be clear I'm not paying a full rent with my parents. It used to be $450 a month including utilities. Now $250 a month since my brothers are not paying at the moment. It's still the best option for me over moving out since I have no friends to be my roommate and I only work part time at the moment. :(I've never ever heard a system like this in my country. Absolutely no one I know made their kid pay for living at home and no one I know had to pay to continue living at home. It sounds extremely cold hearted to me.
It's like if you made your significant other pay rent to you if they moved in with you. (I'm not talking about sharing rent money or helping out in other areas.) Is that a thing too where you live?
Man... i'm glad i didn't live in that culture...
i moved out when i was 23 and never had to pay rent... pushing me and asking me for rent since 18 wouldn't have helped me at all that's for sure
Can you pinpoint an instance where someone in the thread suggested to do nothing? I don't think anybody has done that. The worst we got was someone suggesting that he goes to jail.Oh wait...the 19yo son has a son of his own?
And the OP still has to check on him to see if he's working?
People are going to be raising some soft ass kids.
You're 18yo and graduated from HS? Time to get a job and and start paying some bills. Or go to college/technical school. Or join the military.
Laughable that people think otherwise.
Make em go to collegeHow does your culture handle a 19 year old with a kid that doesn't work and games until 3am? Not being facetious, genuinely curious about the difference in approach outside of waiting until they're 30 and feel like finally being an adult.
This one dropped out of high school. College isn't in the cards.
Man... i'm glad i didn't live in that culture...
i moved out when i was 23 and never had to pay rent... pushing me and asking me for rent since 18 wouldn't have helped me at all that's for sure
I've never ever heard a system like this in my country. Absolutely no one I know made their kid pay for living at home and no one I know had to pay to continue living at home. It sounds extremely cold hearted to me.
It's like if you made your significant other pay rent to you if they moved in with you. (I'm not talking about sharing rent money or helping out in other areas.) Is that a thing too where you live?
I've never ever heard a system like this in my country. Absolutely no one I know made their kid pay for living at home and no one I know had to pay to continue living at home. It sounds extremely cold hearted to me.
It's like if you made your significant other pay rent to you if they moved in with you. (I'm not talking about sharing rent money or helping out in other areas.) Is that a thing too where you live?
Uh...of course you'd have a SO moving in "pay rent". Unless you're just talking semantics, I feel like it would be very unusual to move a partner into an established home and not expect them to begin contributing money to the living expenses. Whether you call that "paying rent" or "helping out" or anything else doesn't change that of course an adult choosing to share living space should also expect to share expenses. Granted, there's obvious exceptions based on ability and life circumstances and all that. Some people would include "being your children" in those exceptions.
The answer is still yes. You generally have a fixed minimum amount of monthly expenses.I don't know if it's semantics, I was talking about a fixed monthly amount of money, like people suggested to OP in this case.
The answer is still yes. You generally have a fixed minimum amount of monthly expenses.
How is it mind blowing for both to contribute to the household expenses? I honestly don't understand.
I don't know if it's semantics, I was talking about a fixed monthly amount of money, like people suggested to OP in this case.
How is it mind blowing for both to contribute to the household expenses? I honestly don't understand.
Good luck, man! I've read the whole thread and really appreciated all your follow-up posts. Tough spot, hope the next steps work out or that there is some improvement at least.The tough thing about making this thread, and something I should have realized before making it, is that people would need way more context than I was ready to give. That's my bad, and what I thought was an innocuous question, turned into a big thing. There is a lot more variables that people don't know about and when they don't know, they tend to project and fill in the blanks. I have made a decision, however, I think it best that I leave it at that. I appreciate everyone that weighed in, including the member that DMed me about specific jobs that might work for him. It was extremely thoughtful.
Interesting. When I moved into my wife's place, we just started splitting rent immediately. The easiest way was one of us paid in full one month then the other the next. I'm surprised you didn't have her contribute to the rent or mortgage or whatever the case may be. She was fortunate.. or at least according to you, most people in your culture who move in with someone are.I believe this sounds crazy to you, as the other way sounds crazy to me. In my "defense", it's not my particular thing, I know noone who would do it differently.
Again, this is because I had my own, non-rented place already.
I'm not American but European, but in this case I'd also ask my girlfriend/wife to split the costs. I don't really see it as a balanced relationship if one half of the couple is living for free, even though they have access to all the same amenities. Not only that, but you're paying double. Your electricity, gas and water bills are all higher now that you're with two, but the cost is all on one person.When my girlfriend (now wife) moved in with me to an apartment I owned, we shared the cost of buying groceries, cleaning supplies, stuff like that - and I mean she paid once, I paid next; there were no calculations to get even. She bought her clothes and books and gas for the car and I bought mine. But it never ocurred to me to ask for half the electricity/internet/monthly apartment cost (don't know the English word for it).
I believe this sounds crazy to you, as the other way sounds crazy to me. In my "defense", it's not my particular thing, I know noone who would do it differently.
Again, this is because I had my own, non-rented place already.
Something kinda similar just happened to me...
I own and run a Martial Arts gym. A fifteen year old and his dad come in. Dad says he is looking for something to keep his kid off the streets and out of trouble as he works night shift and his mother is not around to watch him. First class is free so kid jumps into a Muay Thai class. Went well and kid seemed excited to come back.
Kid never comes to a single class after that. About once a week he would stroll in and ask for the class schedules or tell me that he hurt his shoulder or tell me how he might want to do BJJ instead, etc,etc.
After like 6 months his Dad calls on the phone asking if he is there. "Nope haven't seen him". Next day, same call and same answer. Dad asks when was the last class he took. I told him it was only the one class 6 months ago. Dad is pissed as he thought his kid was at the gym everyday.
Dad calls back like 15 minutes later asking if he could get refunded some of the money as his kid never showed up. I told him I never got a single dime of any money from him. The Dad was giving the kid monthly payments for classes to give to me and kid never showed up keeping the money.
Actually I did get a call from a school liaison officer. I just kind of told him the exact same story here. The liaison officer told me that he might personally bring the kid to the classes but have not seen or heard anything from them.Sorry for the bump, but this little story is great! Did you ever hear from either of them again? It's funny that the dad was giving the kid money and thinking he was going to kickboxing, and in reality he was giving the kid money to go out and piss around every day!