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It's Trans Awareness Week! (Nov 13th -19th)
- Thread starter Kyuuji
- Start date
OP
OP
A timeline for those new:
- Months of inaction while trans threads remain the most hostile and least pleasant place for trans people on Era.
- This is called out several times but is only dealt with in isolated single cases, like a post being edited out
- Finally hits breaking point, culminating in an ace member of the forum making a post calling it out
- Moderators offer support but refuse to stick the thread or address/acknowledge the issue
- A staff post is made a week later that's generic, doesn't acknowledge the inaction and is 50% about the staff themselves.
- That 50% is lamenting how the staff has been made to feel as a result of people expressing at the inaction
- Ketkat and other trans members push back, saying the attitude is the very issue we're trying to highlight
- Ketkat mentions in a minor part of the post that a staff member that is known to be acephobic
- Ketkat is banned within minutes
- Mods suddenly start replying, with more passion than had been shown to the thread in the week prior
- It's implied that Ketkat gained illicit access and abused her girlfriend
- Royalan then details in paragraphs the mod stance on the issue and comes to lock the thread
- The thread that was made to highlight trans issues is locked by Royalan
- The Trans Awareness Week becomes the home to share frustrations.
- Ketkat's ban reason changes three times over this period.
- Eventually a staff post is made, much in the same vein as the past one
- It suggests that we should get back to talking about trans awareness
- It details that Ketkat is permanently banned
- Royalan once again comes in to detail why this is the way it is, and asks to be held accountable
- It is then uncovered that Royalan has posted acephobic comments in the recent past
- Robin (Ketkat's girlfriend) mentions that Royalan isn't even the person being referred to initially.
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Hey everyone,
I wanted to chime and offer my two cents on the ongoing situation. For those of you who don't know me, I'm a former administrator for this website, and a transgender person myself. I also own and co-run the TransEra community discord. With that context out of the way, let's dig into things.
First of all, I think the mod post in this thread misunderstands what the actual issue is from the community's perspective. The community's issue is not with leaks. The community's issue is not with investigations. The community's issue is with how the situation was handled.
It is one thing to ban a member for leaking something that was private. I think most people can understand that logic, even if they don't necessarily agree with the decision. Where you lost people is when you decide to start talking about investigating the issue seriously, as if there was ever going to be any kind of chat log or read receipt in Discord that provided a smoking gun. The entire 'investigation' could never be more than he said, she said, for that's all that Discord provides you.
I am very frustrated to see that the staff has a willingness to take a swing at a banned member who can no longer speak for herself here in a thread about transgender awareness, no less. The sheer lack of awareness is mind boggling. To take a shot by saying, 'Ketkat understood the importance of privacy in safe spaces, as she has championed this herself,' isn't just low, it is quite frankly pathetic. Why would ever think it is ok to take a snide shot at someone like this in an official capacity? I cannot believe that there is an administrator on staff who approved this. It makes staff look like the pettiest people on the planet, taking a shot at a former trans member of the community loved by the community in a thread about the trans community.
The community doesn't care about how the ResetEra staff feels right now. It isn't about the ResetEra staff feeling comfortable, it is about the ResetEra community feeling comfortable. Ultimately, the staff serves the community, not the other way around. When I was on staff, I was always willing to make myself uncomfortable if it meant making the community more comfortable, even if it meant having hard conversations that lasted long hours. That's part of being a volunteer, and that is part of serving. It isn't about you, the staff, it is about us, the community. That is something that has absolutely been lost as time has gone on.
There's a lot more I could say on my feelings, but my feelings are ultimately moot at this point, and so are words. What really matters at this point is actions. ResetEra staff, whether you agree with them or not (and I hope you do), the community feels extremely wronged right now. People are hurting, and they're hurting because you've hurt them. Now is the time to show that y'all really are the good people I know and worked alongside for years. Do the right thing, and show it with your words, not with your actions.
I would suggest the following:
This is by no means the only things that have to happen or the only things that can happen, but I would call this a good start. It is hard. It is going to not be particularly fun for anyone involved. But, at the end of the day, it is worth it because this community and ResetEra are worth it. I urge this to be done at all haste.
If you have any questions for me, my inboxes are always open. If others have suggestions or additions to this list they'd like to see, please feel free to mention them, this was simply the first few big points that came to my mind.
Thanks,
Nicole
edit: fixed a typo
I wanted to chime and offer my two cents on the ongoing situation. For those of you who don't know me, I'm a former administrator for this website, and a transgender person myself. I also own and co-run the TransEra community discord. With that context out of the way, let's dig into things.
First of all, I think the mod post in this thread misunderstands what the actual issue is from the community's perspective. The community's issue is not with leaks. The community's issue is not with investigations. The community's issue is with how the situation was handled.
It is one thing to ban a member for leaking something that was private. I think most people can understand that logic, even if they don't necessarily agree with the decision. Where you lost people is when you decide to start talking about investigating the issue seriously, as if there was ever going to be any kind of chat log or read receipt in Discord that provided a smoking gun. The entire 'investigation' could never be more than he said, she said, for that's all that Discord provides you.
I am very frustrated to see that the staff has a willingness to take a swing at a banned member who can no longer speak for herself here in a thread about transgender awareness, no less. The sheer lack of awareness is mind boggling. To take a shot by saying, 'Ketkat understood the importance of privacy in safe spaces, as she has championed this herself,' isn't just low, it is quite frankly pathetic. Why would ever think it is ok to take a snide shot at someone like this in an official capacity? I cannot believe that there is an administrator on staff who approved this. It makes staff look like the pettiest people on the planet, taking a shot at a former trans member of the community loved by the community in a thread about the trans community.
The community doesn't care about how the ResetEra staff feels right now. It isn't about the ResetEra staff feeling comfortable, it is about the ResetEra community feeling comfortable. Ultimately, the staff serves the community, not the other way around. When I was on staff, I was always willing to make myself uncomfortable if it meant making the community more comfortable, even if it meant having hard conversations that lasted long hours. That's part of being a volunteer, and that is part of serving. It isn't about you, the staff, it is about us, the community. That is something that has absolutely been lost as time has gone on.
There's a lot more I could say on my feelings, but my feelings are ultimately moot at this point, and so are words. What really matters at this point is actions. ResetEra staff, whether you agree with them or not (and I hope you do), the community feels extremely wronged right now. People are hurting, and they're hurting because you've hurt them. Now is the time to show that y'all really are the good people I know and worked alongside for years. Do the right thing, and show it with your words, not with your actions.
I would suggest the following:
- The moderator who made the post that has been linked around this thread needs to resign. In order for the community to move on and to heal, sometimes it is necessary for oneself to step aside. In this case, it is time for you to step aside and allow the healing process to begin.
- An apology should be posted for this whole situation. In this apology, you should clearly outline the steps that you take when evaluating transphobic content or other content that is anti-LGBT. There are plenty of us in the community that are former staff and could as easily articulate these rules, but you need to step forward and tell the community what they are. And then, you have to let the community hold you accountable to them. That's how you will open the door for the community to restore trust in you, by enforcing this policy (that you already have) not with your words, but with your actions.
- There needs to be a greater diversification in the administration table. This is something that has been great in the past, but after most of the original administration left, is severely lacking now. Please correct this decision with serious administration changes that will result in better conversations in the administration room with voices who are more concerned about doing right by the community than doing right by the moderation rulebook.
- And, this really should be a given, but at this point, Ketkat should be unbanned. Right or wrong, it doesn't really matter how you feel about it. It will be a good starting sign to restorting the trust between the community and staff. If Ketkat breaks the rules again, that's on her, but right now, it doesn't really matter. What matters is keeping the community together and restoring the trust that has been broken.
This is by no means the only things that have to happen or the only things that can happen, but I would call this a good start. It is hard. It is going to not be particularly fun for anyone involved. But, at the end of the day, it is worth it because this community and ResetEra are worth it. I urge this to be done at all haste.
If you have any questions for me, my inboxes are always open. If others have suggestions or additions to this list they'd like to see, please feel free to mention them, this was simply the first few big points that came to my mind.
Thanks,
Nicole
edit: fixed a typo
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Seconded, and we can do even better:
- Sanction board: per-user thread that collates their history of warnings, bans, why, and the reasoning behind extensions. Don't obfuscate behind a shell account.
- Formal ban appeals: to be attended to not by the mod that instituted the ban, particularly when considering long or permanent bans, as a hedge against cronyism, over-reaction, or plain error. Include appeals to the sanction board.
- Mod nominations: you want better coverage of the forum's corners, more diverse voices, and a less adversarial relationship? Here's a way how. Nominate on a regular cycle such that existing mods can also feel free to step down without shortchanging anyone.
- Mod recalls: because, let's be honest. Sometimes we get some stinkers and that's just mundane reality when it comes to running a place like this. Make nominations for recall anonymous through a bot akin to the Giftbot, and set a percentile threshold to carry the recall or not.
- No blanket staff posts: Append each name individually to an advisory post, not in aggregate. If you want to be regarded as like us, post like us instead of erecting a procedural wall of perfect mod unity (it mostly serves to stifle discussion and cement the perspective that you're not our peers).
- Forget moderation of console warring/port begging/store warz that falls below the point of personal attacks. It's all trivial consumerist faff and coming down on it so hard is a solution in search of a problem. It's busywork, not valuable work.
- Shed the Gaf vestiges: seriously, so much of this crud is just hanging on because of simple inertia. Do we need member castes? Do we need four canonical subforums? Do we need to mandate OTs that expire at 20k posts?
- No more heavy-handed, "This is the last word on that, the united, formless, shapeless, and undivided mod mass decrees it" tosh. Discussions taper off and end. Don't throw weight around just to have the last word.
- More openness: discussion of the site's culture, future, and problems can't solely remain the prerogative of the mod team. Open discussion is the only reasonable way to make things better, work conciliation, and invest the entire forum in better outcomes.
- Proportion: accusations of bigotry can't be simply played off with stonewalling and blanket accusations of a criminal offense committed by the sanctioned member. It's irresponsible, it's insulting, and perfectly underlines the cultural problem that is driving people away and embittering members against a mod team that increasingly looks out of touch and out of hand.
- Conciliation: full and open discussions of crises like this one, including giving the accused and their witnesses the chance to speak for and defend themselves, and full ownership of mistakes, blind-spots, failings (both on the account of the mods and the accused). The social expectation to cop to fuckups should be expected of mods too, and not just as something that is nice to have when it happens.
A few things I would remind people as the evening hours begin in earnest:
To the community: Even on our best days when I was on staff, it took staff time to respond to issues. An issue of this magnitude, it will take time for them to respond. There is still time for them to respond correctly, now. Please have a bit of patience and wait for their response rather than demanding they rush things. You can still talk about this problem and how we got here, but rushing is not prudent. We want them to get this right. It is also late hours of the night for most of us, and many people, community and staff included would be greatly served by sleeping on this.
To the staff: Although things are bad right now, the community doesn't want to leave. People are looking for you to give them a reason to stay. They're looking for you to give them a reason to hope. They're looking for you to show them with their actions that things are going to be okay in the long run, even if they're not okay right now. Please, please, do not waste this opportunity.
And, I know posting your trans policies publicly is scary. Yes, it is possible it could be abused by bad faith actors. But I worry more about the community than I do some bad faith actors right now. The damage has already been done, and it will require extreme solutions to restore things to normal. The choice seems to be between rebuilding faith with the community or dealing with some bad faith actors. For me, it is clear which is the right decision is out of those options, and I earnestly hope it is clear for you too.
To the community: Even on our best days when I was on staff, it took staff time to respond to issues. An issue of this magnitude, it will take time for them to respond. There is still time for them to respond correctly, now. Please have a bit of patience and wait for their response rather than demanding they rush things. You can still talk about this problem and how we got here, but rushing is not prudent. We want them to get this right. It is also late hours of the night for most of us, and many people, community and staff included would be greatly served by sleeping on this.
To the staff: Although things are bad right now, the community doesn't want to leave. People are looking for you to give them a reason to stay. They're looking for you to give them a reason to hope. They're looking for you to show them with their actions that things are going to be okay in the long run, even if they're not okay right now. Please, please, do not waste this opportunity.
And, I know posting your trans policies publicly is scary. Yes, it is possible it could be abused by bad faith actors. But I worry more about the community than I do some bad faith actors right now. The damage has already been done, and it will require extreme solutions to restore things to normal. The choice seems to be between rebuilding faith with the community or dealing with some bad faith actors. For me, it is clear which is the right decision is out of those options, and I earnestly hope it is clear for you too.
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Staff: A couple of you have come in here, belatedly, lamenting the otherization of the staff by the community, and talking about how you're normal people with everyday lives (that, needless to say, come before volunteering on Era), but here's the thing:
The community doesn't want and has never wanted to "otherize" you. The habit — or, according to SweetNicole, the policy (?!) — of not engaging actively with the community otherizes yourselves. As the LGBT+ community well knows, visibility is crucial to the public acknowledging you as human. (And by engagement, I don't mean trotting out a singular relevant minority to act as the "face" of the staff, in a performance of ostensible diversity. That's not what being transparent looks like, and it's not what serving in a community should either.)
Be visible. (And by visibility, I don't mean towing the administrative line in intimidating or authoritative fashion.) Yes, that's scary, particularly when the community sentiment is boiling over — perhaps it wasn't even allowed, since Nepenthe had to make her case to appear at all — but proactive engagement can only democratize the forum and stymie said boiling in the first place. Yes, engagement comes with accountability for your visible words, but such is the burden of assumed responsibility, voluntary or no.
[Example: If Royalan had stayed in here, apologized, explained that he'd learned after his past comments, his name and calls for his banning might not be at the fore of this emotional boil over. It would still be prudent for him to resign as a moderator, not because past mistakes are unforgivable, but because his past acephobic comments made him a uniquely unqualified person to have the role he did in Ketkat's banning and the previous thread's locking.]
Since Era's founding, much of the community's adversarial relationship with the staff has — and I know you don't want to hear this — come from top-down policy decisions, as well as the virtual invisibility of the administrators, sans SweetNicole, who is now absent and whose role (even then, not enough) continues to be vacant. Era's community has its fair share of toxicity, but the staff's passivity and its policies' inadequacies have allowed it to grow.
One of Era's founding tenets was transparency, but literally the only meaningful and consistent example of it has been the public banners explaining warnings/bans... which, as seen in Ketkat's case, can be manipulatively abused (or at least appear to be, from the perspective of the public). That lack of transparency needs to change, as it has ever been at the fore of the community's disgruntlement with the staff.
Official reviews of situations, longform responses, and eventual policy changes take time. Everyone accepts that. But what's unacceptable — and what indicates severe mismanagement — is how many hours this thread went without any staff communicating, and that's being charitable and including Nepenthe's personal apology.
Regarding Ketkat: As Nicole said, enough is enough. The situation has reached a point where it no longer matters what she did or did not do, because as has been demonstrated constantly, she was a pillar of the community and multiple crucial sub-communities. I understand that her alleged actions make staff uncomfortable, but (1) she needs to be able to relay her side of the story, (2) the community comes first. Full stop.
Ketkat's banning may have been voted by staff majority — which I somehow doubt, due to its haste, and due to dissenters being less comfortable speaking up — but the bottom line is this: the community's voice has unanimously voted the opposite, and ResetEra is fundamentally the community, lest anyone forget how we clung together in our flight from GAF. Staff have come in here speaking of their humanity, of forgiveness, of sympathy, yet none of that is extended to Ketkat, whose offending post itself was made in unequivocal good faith for the betterment of the community? Unacceptable and hypocritical.
If there are individuals amongst the staff who aren't comfortable serving with Ketkat unbanned, then I remind them that their position is voluntary, and while I hope they stay in the community, their official capacity can be replaced from within the community. If pride gives anyone pause in doing so, perhaps replacement is all the better. Once again, communication is vital to health and longevity.
The LGBTIA+ community, the mental health community, the Era community: the confidence, comfortability, and support of all these people should come before staff wishes in this case of conflict. Period. Or else you aren't serving the community at all.
The community doesn't want and has never wanted to "otherize" you. The habit — or, according to SweetNicole, the policy (?!) — of not engaging actively with the community otherizes yourselves. As the LGBT+ community well knows, visibility is crucial to the public acknowledging you as human. (And by engagement, I don't mean trotting out a singular relevant minority to act as the "face" of the staff, in a performance of ostensible diversity. That's not what being transparent looks like, and it's not what serving in a community should either.)
Be visible. (And by visibility, I don't mean towing the administrative line in intimidating or authoritative fashion.) Yes, that's scary, particularly when the community sentiment is boiling over — perhaps it wasn't even allowed, since Nepenthe had to make her case to appear at all — but proactive engagement can only democratize the forum and stymie said boiling in the first place. Yes, engagement comes with accountability for your visible words, but such is the burden of assumed responsibility, voluntary or no.
[Example: If Royalan had stayed in here, apologized, explained that he'd learned after his past comments, his name and calls for his banning might not be at the fore of this emotional boil over. It would still be prudent for him to resign as a moderator, not because past mistakes are unforgivable, but because his past acephobic comments made him a uniquely unqualified person to have the role he did in Ketkat's banning and the previous thread's locking.]
Since Era's founding, much of the community's adversarial relationship with the staff has — and I know you don't want to hear this — come from top-down policy decisions, as well as the virtual invisibility of the administrators, sans SweetNicole, who is now absent and whose role (even then, not enough) continues to be vacant. Era's community has its fair share of toxicity, but the staff's passivity and its policies' inadequacies have allowed it to grow.
One of Era's founding tenets was transparency, but literally the only meaningful and consistent example of it has been the public banners explaining warnings/bans... which, as seen in Ketkat's case, can be manipulatively abused (or at least appear to be, from the perspective of the public). That lack of transparency needs to change, as it has ever been at the fore of the community's disgruntlement with the staff.
Official reviews of situations, longform responses, and eventual policy changes take time. Everyone accepts that. But what's unacceptable — and what indicates severe mismanagement — is how many hours this thread went without any staff communicating, and that's being charitable and including Nepenthe's personal apology.
Regarding Ketkat: As Nicole said, enough is enough. The situation has reached a point where it no longer matters what she did or did not do, because as has been demonstrated constantly, she was a pillar of the community and multiple crucial sub-communities. I understand that her alleged actions make staff uncomfortable, but (1) she needs to be able to relay her side of the story, (2) the community comes first. Full stop.
Ketkat's banning may have been voted by staff majority — which I somehow doubt, due to its haste, and due to dissenters being less comfortable speaking up — but the bottom line is this: the community's voice has unanimously voted the opposite, and ResetEra is fundamentally the community, lest anyone forget how we clung together in our flight from GAF. Staff have come in here speaking of their humanity, of forgiveness, of sympathy, yet none of that is extended to Ketkat, whose offending post itself was made in unequivocal good faith for the betterment of the community? Unacceptable and hypocritical.
If there are individuals amongst the staff who aren't comfortable serving with Ketkat unbanned, then I remind them that their position is voluntary, and while I hope they stay in the community, their official capacity can be replaced from within the community. If pride gives anyone pause in doing so, perhaps replacement is all the better. Once again, communication is vital to health and longevity.
The LGBTIA+ community, the mental health community, the Era community: the confidence, comfortability, and support of all these people should come before staff wishes in this case of conflict. Period. Or else you aren't serving the community at all.
I haven't said anything publicly yet. I've been given permission to speak openly and honestly now, and respond to people.
But first, an apology.
To the Resetera community at large; I am sorry.
To the Resetera Mod team who are now being held responsible for my words; I am sorry.
To the NB/Asexual/Trans community that has been made to feel devalued and erased by my words; I am sorry.
To the Black and Queer communities who looked to me to advocate for them; I am sorry.
I will be stepping down.
If there is anything else that people want me to respond to? I am currently able.
Yes.
When you get involved in advocacy for minority groups, one of the first things you realize is that it is a continual work. Striving to be an ally (not to be called one, because you can't give yourself that label; but to work to be one), never finishes. There's no finish line. It is a constant work to check yourself, to reflect on your biases and see them for what they are, and to strive to be better.
I was advocating for Black queer people in that thread. I was triggered by the idea that our experiences were being compared and devalued. In doing that, I devalued ace people. I don't offer that as an excuse.
Hey there everyone, I'm here right now and I have a lot of things that I want to say about this whole situation. First of all, I want to thank all of you who sent me kind messages both within these threads and on discord as I really appreciate them! There are so many times where I look at the state of the society that we live in and question the impact that one person can have against the tide of bigotry and mental health stigma that exists, and comments like yours do a lot to alleviate those concerns!
As for the big accusation, there's a lot to say about this. First and foremost, I want to make it clear that I did not invade Robin (my girlfriend's) privacy to look through her private discords, messages, or anything else. I am not interested in being the kind of person that can not be trusted in the most basic ways, and it was shocking for me to see staff assume that I would do that so quickly. When I made that initial post talking about moderation and the issues that exist within it, I posted some information that was from a private staff discord. I knew it was from there, and I chose to post it publicly instead of going to them in private or attempting to find a real solution to it. I regret posting it in that manner as I never had any intention of starting any large scale drama about this incident, and I chose to keep the names private for the safety of the moderation team. However, I now see that I didn't put as much consideration into that as I should have to begin with. There are quite a few places that exist off-site purely to document and harass notable people on this forum, and that includes people on the moderation team as they tend to stand out more. I have dealt with harassment from these people as being a minority or part of a vulnerable group seems to make you a target for them, and this is doubly true for minority staff members. I was hurt and disappointed that people that I consider close friends believed that I was capable of this, but they're not bad people for thinking this. They're just scared. And I don't fault them for that.
The reasons that they provided in that initial thread detailed a history of suspicions that I was looking into their discord as well as that I knew some moderation terminology that was used behind the scenes. In the email that I sent, I referenced a very specific thing that is used however this specific term is one that is an open secret of sorts and I've seen it used in quite a few places. Throughout this investigation that occurred, I was never once contacted or informed what any of these suspicions were actually about, so as of this moment, I am still unaware of what they are and unable to comment on them. It's hard to hear that there's evidence against you that you aren't allowed to see, but again keep in mind that at this point they're still concerned for their privacy and unsure if they can trust me. I don't blame them for wanting to avoid more of that, especially as they went looking for that conversation and did not feel the same way about it. I was assured by someone on the team who I deeply trust and is LGBT that the claim that this statement and the person who made them were against asexuals was incorrect and a misunderstanding.
And I do want to reiterate here at the end, I left out the names on both of those issues in my post for a reason. I understand the desire for wanting to know who said what in these conversations, but the way that this desire has manifested is worrying. There are mistakes that have been made by the moderation team throughout this whole ordeal as I know all too well. But at the same time, we can not realistically expect the people who moderate this website to feel safe when people are digging through their personal lives looking for anything that can be used.
I regret posting that line the way that I did and I'm sorry for all the headache that this has caused both you as users and the staff throughout this ordeal.
As for the big accusation, there's a lot to say about this. First and foremost, I want to make it clear that I did not invade Robin (my girlfriend's) privacy to look through her private discords, messages, or anything else. I am not interested in being the kind of person that can not be trusted in the most basic ways, and it was shocking for me to see staff assume that I would do that so quickly. When I made that initial post talking about moderation and the issues that exist within it, I posted some information that was from a private staff discord. I knew it was from there, and I chose to post it publicly instead of going to them in private or attempting to find a real solution to it. I regret posting it in that manner as I never had any intention of starting any large scale drama about this incident, and I chose to keep the names private for the safety of the moderation team. However, I now see that I didn't put as much consideration into that as I should have to begin with. There are quite a few places that exist off-site purely to document and harass notable people on this forum, and that includes people on the moderation team as they tend to stand out more. I have dealt with harassment from these people as being a minority or part of a vulnerable group seems to make you a target for them, and this is doubly true for minority staff members. I was hurt and disappointed that people that I consider close friends believed that I was capable of this, but they're not bad people for thinking this. They're just scared. And I don't fault them for that.
The reasons that they provided in that initial thread detailed a history of suspicions that I was looking into their discord as well as that I knew some moderation terminology that was used behind the scenes. In the email that I sent, I referenced a very specific thing that is used however this specific term is one that is an open secret of sorts and I've seen it used in quite a few places. Throughout this investigation that occurred, I was never once contacted or informed what any of these suspicions were actually about, so as of this moment, I am still unaware of what they are and unable to comment on them. It's hard to hear that there's evidence against you that you aren't allowed to see, but again keep in mind that at this point they're still concerned for their privacy and unsure if they can trust me. I don't blame them for wanting to avoid more of that, especially as they went looking for that conversation and did not feel the same way about it. I was assured by someone on the team who I deeply trust and is LGBT that the claim that this statement and the person who made them were against asexuals was incorrect and a misunderstanding.
And I do want to reiterate here at the end, I left out the names on both of those issues in my post for a reason. I understand the desire for wanting to know who said what in these conversations, but the way that this desire has manifested is worrying. There are mistakes that have been made by the moderation team throughout this whole ordeal as I know all too well. But at the same time, we can not realistically expect the people who moderate this website to feel safe when people are digging through their personal lives looking for anything that can be used.
I regret posting that line the way that I did and I'm sorry for all the headache that this has caused both you as users and the staff throughout this ordeal.