I've been feeling guiltier and guiltier about eating meat and have a desire to change, but I'm also obese and embarrassingly picky.

[Robin]

I know that I'm not the only person in this camp, people whose world view aligns in one way, but are too set in their ways or cowardly to change. I feel like I hear this more and more, where people acknowledge the cruelty of the food industry but are not inspired enough to make an inconvenient change. I've been on this precipice before but don't know how to change my own behavior.

I'm a picky eater, so much so I feel like it's a mental illness. I basically don't eat vegetables at all. Leafy greens are ok but I have a weird distaste for tomatoes and other food items to the point that it almost feels like a phobia. Pretty much 99% of my diet is meat, cheese, and carbohydrates. It's something I'm deeply ashamed of and it's something I try to hide as much as humanly possible. I also am somewhat of an emotional eater and tend to gorge on food when I'm stressed out and it's frightening how out of control I feel most of the time. I've always been overweight my entire life but since starting a new job two years ago I've been spiraling even further out of control.

I've tried making incremental changes, I've been doing goofy things like making kale smoothies in the morning and that's actually been a bit of a pleasant breakthrough but inevitably I always end up unable to resist my cravings and end up back in the drive thru. I feel like if I don't change soon I'm probably going to die young. I'm only 30 but feel more and more like my body is failing me. I don't know. I don't know if there's an answer, if I should be going to therapy or what. It felt somewhat therapeutic to write this at least.

 

[Deleted member 4367]

You obviously need to learn to like vegetables before you can become a vegetarian.

Try roasted veggies. One by one.

 

[Robin]

You obviously need to learn to like vegetables before you can become a vegetarian.

Click to shrink...

Agreed.

 

[nsilvias]

look for unconventional fruits and vegetables you are bound to find something you like.

 

[Deleted member 4367]

Agreed.

Click to shrink...

Roasted veggies have less potent flavors you aren't used to and can have "char" that you might be used to. Start with asparagus, brussel sprouts, and broccoli. Roast them dark with olive oil and salt/pepper. Squeeze lemon on when done. Just keep trying until it clicks.

How are you with different spices? Indian food might be a good window into vegetarian eating for you if you like their spice signatures.

 

[Parthenios]

My family gave up meat for Lent with the hope of staying vegetarian permanently. My wife hates vegetables, too. We're coping by eating a lot of Indian dishes because you can't really tell there's no meat in them. Do you like spicy food? Curries are pretty simple to make.

 

[exodus]

I would definitely suggest trying to add veggies to your diet. The roasting recommendation is a good one. Veggies take on a less vegetal flavour when they’re roasted. Try roasted broccoli, cauliflower, and red peppers to start. Toss in a bit of oil and add some seasoning of your choice (I use Montreal fry seasoning), and bake at 400F on a roasting tray to your desired doneness, anywhere from 20-50 minutes.

Another good one is sautéed Brussels sprouts in seasoned breadcrumbs. Cut the Brussels sprouts in half and sauter in a bit of oil with salt and pepper until soft. Toast some Italian seasoned breadcrumbs in a dry pan (or with a bit of butter) until browned. Toss it all together and sauté for a minute longer. You can also start off by adding a bit of chopped bacon to that. Then work your way to pure veggie

 

[Minishdriveby]

look for unconventional fruits and vegetables you are bound to find something you like.

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idk i’d say try conventional fruits and vegetables too. A lot of picky eaters haven’t actually tasted or tried new foods. Explore.

 

[Lord Fagan]

Mixing carbs and fats is what is making you hungry and overeat.

Explore drinking ice water as your sole fluid intake, tracking your calories, and intermittent fasting.

The simple fact is you're describing a food addiction and you need to start treating it as such with techniques that address that root problem.

 

[voOsh]

Focus on losing weight and getting healthy before trying to make more difficult lifestyle modifications. Since you already like meat and cheese, have you ever tried the keto diet (low carb)? Once you are healthier and have better control over the food you eat, it will be much easier to transition to vegetarian or vegan.

 

[Secret Squirrel]

Is it flavour or texture you're struggling with? If it's the former, cook veg with whatever spices you like, you'll barely taste them. Stuff like stir fry is great for choking down loads of tasty veg, or for example I made this yesterday and it was delicious, contains sweet potato, red onions, red pepper, courgette, tomatoes, kidney beans and I chucked some mushrooms in too. Just give stuff like that a try and sooner or later you'll find something you like.

 

[CHC]

How do you feel about legumes (beans)? Very filling and nutritious staple for main courses, and also DIRT cheap compared to meat.

A recipe like this is very familiar, flavor wise:

Creamy Braised White Beans Recipe

Everything you need to make this humble-but-satisfying meal is probably in your kitchen at this very moment Two cans of beans (chickpeas and white beans) are simmered with milk, a whole head of garlic, herbs and nutmeg for a rich and creamy vegetarian dinner that can be on the table in under a...

cooking.nytimes.com

Garlic, creaminess, parmiggiano cheese, nothing wild. Something likee that with a leafy green salad is a vegetarian meal but not super adventurous or anything risky.

Definitely hard to break eating habits so don't feel silly about yours, at least you're making an effort! Shakes and smoothies are good.

 

[cameron]

Do you like any South Asian / East Asian dishes?

I hated vegetables as a teen, but that changed gradually after having dishes like fried rice with veggies mixed in as a side with my usual meat / chicken.

 

[Kwigo]

I changed my diet since january because of multiple gout related flare ups.

I eat meat like twice a week, sometimes no meat at all for a week, since mid-january, and I thought that it would be hard af... I was so very wrong.

Meat is very easily replaceable with soja-"meat". Yesterday my GF made a vegetarian döner kebab, and it was SO GOOD !

Maybe you could start with going to a vegan shop and ask the clerks while explaining your situation ? I'm certain they'd love to help you out.

Otherwise, look up some recipes of things to eat, but with meat-replacements ? There are a lot of recipes like chili non carne, veggie burgers, and so on.

Also, I kinda love broccoli now, even though I hated it my whole life. The key is to know how to prepare veggies, and most of all how to season them. It's a huge difference !

Do you like any South Asian / East Asian dishes?

I hated vegetables as a teen, but that changed gradually after having dishes like fried rice with veggies mixed in as a side with my usual meat / chicken.

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Also this, there's a lot of vegetarian dishes in asian cuisine which are to die for.

 

[Izzard]

I’ve been veggie for 33 years and I’m intolerant to a load of fruit and veg. Potatoes, carrots, melon, satsumas is about all I eat.
I have pasta, jacket potatoes, pizza mainly, and I’m not dead yet OP. Try no meat for a month and see how you get on.

 

[Lozjam]

Get rid of all of the food in your house, and food prep.

Make it so your entire week, you only prepare that, and freeze your bank account for the week so you cannot go to a drive through or get food. These meals up here were so good, filling and cheap, it was an excellent way to start for my fiance and I. Those smoothies too.... They are so good. Plus you spend so much less time doing dishes and cooking overall.

Tofu, when prepared properly, can really help too.

 

[Bluesteel]

I had a doctor friend tell me that changing your taste buds take some time to the point that it requires multiple times (edit: < 3+ times)) before something you 'hate' becomes 'tolerable.' May not mean that you'll ever enjoy it or love it, but it takes time.

Getting over your fear for eating certain vegetables is another issue altogether, but if/once you get over that hump, don't get too discouraged! Just know that it's going to be a process as opposed to something that you can switch cold-turkey.

 

[etiira]

I'm not sure I'd recommend my path, but I was an obese and picky kid/teenager that didn't like vegetables.

I became vegan at 20, entirely for ethical reasons, but didn't really know what to eat. I started with pb&j, cereal, the one brand of vegan ramen I could find, some fake sandwich meats, and taco bell. Nothing healthy at all, but I wasn't trying for that in the first place.

The beginning was a little rough, but my energy levels skyrocketed, I lost 80lbs, and slowly, my tastes expanded. By the time I was 22, I liked far more foods than I didn't, and that is even more true now at 34. I'm still an overweight food addict, but I'm an active and healthy one that has more good intake days than bad ones.

 

[Robin]

Is it flavour or texture you're struggling with? If it's the former, cook veg with whatever spices you like, you'll barely taste them. Stuff like stir fry is great for choking down loads of tasty veg, or for example I made this yesterday and it was delicious, contains sweet potato, red onions, red pepper, courgette, tomatoes, kidney beans and I chucked some mushrooms in too. Just give stuff like that a try and sooner or later you'll find something you like.

Click to shrink...

I guess it's a mix of both most of the time but some of my picky eating is almost on a psychological level. There are basically certain no-go foods that I'll have a reaction to, the big one is tomatoes but also almost all condiments in general. I won't eat raw tomato or ketchup, I don't let red sauces, and yet strangely pizza is fine, bbq sauces with tomato, etc, are fine. Unless I think about it too hard, and then I'll start to gag. It can often be upsetting because whenever I realize a contradiction, find out something I don't like is in something I do like, etc, it's all on some level farcical but very real to me.

Spicy food is great, asian food is great, most of my favorite food is in that sphere. But, with it usually comes a risk that I'll get close to something I don't like. I've been a lot better about this as of late than when I was younger though.

 

[Gernau Morat Gurgeh]

Do you like Indian food at all? That's a cuisine that is extremely tasty and can be delicious as pure veg. That said, don't beat yourself up and don't try to do it all in one go! Do you cook for yourself at all? It's both very satisfying and means you can make things you actually like. Good luck mate!

 

[chrominance]

FWIW I'm in a similar boat. I'm not exactly experiencing any health issues from it (yet) but I have a similar aversion to most fruits and vegetables, and I can sympathize with a lot of what you're saying (even the parts about being fine with some foods like tomatoes, but only if they're in a highly processed form like sauce). One of the issues here is that learning to eat healthier and especially learning to eat stuff you don't normally like is WORK, and it's very easy to not want to do the work, especially when you've got other things going on in your life that you have to deal with simultaneously. There's no value judgement in that statement; it's just a fact that the status quo is easier to maintain than change, and you only have so much mental energy to devote to everything in your life. So try not to feel too bad about not being able to make it work immediately, or having relapses occasionally; that's just how humans work sometimes.

I think your goal at this point doesn't have to be to cut out meat entirely; choosing an interim goal, like just reducing your intake to ex. one or two takeout meals a week or whatever. It's a much more achievable goal and hopefully that will help with the feelings of guilt at not making progress. Therapy may also help with the feelings of shame you have from your current diet. I think shame is an unfortunately common feeling people have about food, but the flipside of that is that therapy can potentially help address those feelings. It will be easier to make the transition if you can separate and isolate those feelings of shame, I think.

One other thing: vegan/vegetarian does not necessarily mean healthy. This cuts both ways, though: switching to vegan substitutes for trashy foods may not yield much benefit in terms of diet, though at least you won't be eating animal byproducts. But on the flipside, because they can still use similar non-animal ingredients and techniques without worrying about being super healthy, a lot of these vegan substitutes can be very tasty in their own right, and in ways that still work for picky eaters like you and me. There are a few vegan restaurants near me that I feel pretty okay going to, now that I've identified a few meals on the menu that I know I'll like. Having that beachhead can be a big help because you can be a little more adventurous with side dishes (instead of fries, I'll try the roasted brussel sprouts) while having something that you know you'll like as your main course (like a tasty vegan burger).

Subscribing to this thread to see what advice other people have, but I just wanted to chime in to say you're definitely not alone OP. We're all rooting for you.

 

[Perfect Chaos]

Roasted cauliflower is where it's at. A little bit of olive oil, salt, pepper, and then put em in the oven until they're a little brown.

If you like it, you can experiment with some other spices too.

 

[Kace]

Is this just about feeling guilty about doing something most animals on the planet do or about being more healthy?

Because you can easily be more healthy and still enjoy delicious meats

 

[Xx 720]

Some animals swallow small pebbles with their food, helps them digest cause that how they are made. If we weren’t meant to eat meat, we wouldn’t, we are omnivores, why swim against the ocean??

 

[Sordid Plebeian]

Try starting by integrating Brussels sprout, asparagus, and sweet potatoes into your diet. I find them to be pretty tasty as someone who is not a big fan of most vegetables. Also, they are some of the healthiest for you. Also, cooking with spices and letting them marinade a pre-prepared mixed vegetable dish makes them extra good.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

I'll echo the roasted veggies camp. Throw that in the oven with some salt and spices and it's as easy to make as anything.
Baby steps are needed for you then later if you still want to go vegetarian you can try going certain days meatless

 

[Secret Squirrel]

I guess it's a mix of both most of the time but some of my picky eating is almost on a psychological level. There are basically certain no-go foods that I'll have a reaction to, the big one is tomatoes but also almost all condiments in general. I won't eat raw tomato or ketchup, I don't let red sauces, and yet strangely pizza is fine, bbq sauces with tomato, etc, are fine. Unless I think about it too hard, and then I'll start to gag. It can often be upsetting because whenever I realize a contradiction, find out something I don't like is in something I do like, etc, it's all on some level farcical but very real to me.

Spicy food is great, asian food is great, most of my favorite food is in that sphere. But, with it usually comes a risk that I'll get close to something I don't like. I've been a lot better about this as of late than when I was younger though.

Click to shrink...

I totally get it, I hated basically all veg as a kid and essentially abandoned them for 20 years, but when I met my wife she slowly introduced me to them again - once I got used to the idea that onions were actually quite nice fried, I started to accept that maybe I'd been wrong about a few others and was willing to try them. The more I tried and didn't dislike, the more open I became to experimenting with different ones until eventually, I liked the vast majority (peas can still fuck off, obviously). Just be kind to yourself, don't expect it to change overnight but persevere and it'll be well worth it - it's also SO much more convenient when you stop being as picky! Good luck

 

[V_Arnold]

OP, I honestly, truly wish you the best in this journey. I am incredibly easily swayed when I see something that I consider undeniable, that is why my transition from meat+cheese+carbs into vegetarianism, then veganism went relatively smoothly (okay, due to health conditions, I need to be extremely careful with being a vegan, and I cant eat many staple seasonings).

I see a lot of people who consider greens, tomatoas and such as the main alternative to meat, but they are not the only one. First, I would advise you to simply identify the flavorings that you like. Experiment, so to speak, with these:

- Indian food (curry-based, seitan/rice/lentils as main protein source)
- Thai/japanese food (two different categories, pardon me, but they use soy and soybeans more freely compared)
- Mediterran diet with tons of olive, olive and also have you heard about glorious olives?
- Turkish/Greek (again, pardon me) dishes containing more chickpeas and sesame-based protein sources (tahini, falafel, humus, etc)

Just by trying out these four categories so to speak, you will find unique and varied vegetables that pretty much have nothing in common with the basic vegetables in the classic eu/us mainstream diet. Start here, and then once you have an acquired taste, you can see how easily all these categories can live without meat.

(And once again, sorry, I am overly generalizing but just wanted to have a split for the soy-based, curry-based, humus-based and basil/olive-based seasonings more pronounced).

 

[BLEEN]

I used to be like this with the pickiness. Hot-sauce, friends cooking, and just the smell of the food got me to overcome it.

Still despise eggs, mayo (any condiments with 'em too), and nearly all fish. But that's what omegas are for and other condiments. Oh yeah, also hate mustard. Maybe one day.

 

[etiira]

Also, in case my prior post wasn't clear, any incremental changes can still be positive and lead to something better. For me, I felt most strongly about the vegan part, so I started there and have been working the rest out from there. Maybe you care more about overall health, or trying new foods, or cutting certain ones out.

Find what you care about the most, and start there. Make the easiest improvements you can find first, and then try to leverage that progress to make greater change.

 

[thegodsend]

I more or less stopped eating meat about 8 months ago. I thought I could not do it. Turns out, it was super easy and there is enough vegetarian junk food that's usually even better. And if I crave meat, there's soja based stuff that comes quite close and does the trick after getting used to it.

 

[Sampson]

Don't make incremental changes.

Be born again.

That's the only thing that ever worked for me. I lost 120 lbs and have kept off about 100 lb of it for most of the last 15 years. I've occasionally relapsed, but have only been to get back on the path by recommitting myself fully.

You'll know when you're ready. It might not be today, or tomorrow, but the fact that you're posting this is a sign that you're almost there. One day, you'll wake up and say enough is enough. When you do, commit fully.

And don't be ashamed. You're fine just the way you are. Shame implies that you can't turn this around. But trust me, you can.

 

[Threadkular]

FWIW, I want to empathize with what you feel about being a picky eater. I eventually in my early 20s forced myself to start consuming other foods, but when I get heavy anxiety or stress I still revert back and stop eating vegetables and such.

And I carried a shame over that for a while. I always thought it was real embarrassing. There was admittedly something "small town" about it... my mom used to serve as apple sauce as a "replacement" for the vegetables we didn't eat.

Anyway, I know the feeling. Know that it's all in your head though and go easy on yourself.

I don't have suggestions on starting to like new foods. Maybe look at some blogs. So this of course required $, but one thing I can recommend is going to quality restaurants and eating meals as a chef prepares them. Oftentimes any vegetables or things you don't typically like are slathered in some amazing sauce or something. It'll taste infinitely better than whatever you or I could make with it.

The other thing is if you havent try fresh vegetables. I grew up on canned which are absolutely disgusting.

 

[Robin]

I do appreciate everyone's well wishes, I think there's a lot to think about and a lot of good places to start.

Also to clarify, the reason I eventually want to be vegan or closer to vegan is for ethical reasons, Im not striving towards that because of the weight and health concerns, it's just impossible to talk about one without the other for me because of my current situation. I'm basically having two dietary crisis at once, one ethical and the other health related.

 

[Deleted member 4367]

Meal planning/prep is critical when you're trying to change your diet. The moment you have to think about what you're going to eat when you're already hungry, the bad decisions happen. If you already have your meal planned out or made, it's so much easier to stick to it.

 

[meowdi gras]

Robin, if my own experience is an indication, it's definitely possible to transition from hating veggies to loving, and even craving them. Growing up, the only veggie I liked was raw carrots, or possibly spinach if it was served hot enough. (The hotter it is, the less you taste it.) It wasn't until well into my adulthood when, first, my ex-wife, then second, my current master chef bestie, they introduced my palate to all the wondrous, flavorful possibilities of vegetables.

To start off with, let's establish this first:

The other thing is if you havent try fresh vegetables. I grew up on canned which are absolutely disgusting.

Click to shrink...

A-freaking-men. With few exceptions, always go fresh or frozen with veggies. Believe me and the quoted poster, canned veggies are a palate-killer.

A few things I would strongly advise to sort of accustom yourself to the taste of veggies, which haven't been mentioned above:

• Up where you live in the Northeast, the climate is about ideal for growing most vegetables. Buy as much of your produce at local farmers markets--the kind at which actual farmers and garden owners sell stuff they've grown in their own soil--as possible. (I'm certain that, were you to look it up on the web, you'd find any number of them operating in your area.) Believe me, it makes a considerable difference. The closer you consume a vegetable from the time it was pulled out of the ground, not only the more nutrient-rich it will be, but also tastier. Most produce offered at supermarkets has been sitting for weeks, or even months since it was harvested, losing its pleasing flavor as it sits around aging.
• Should you opt to patronize one of these farmers markets, do me and yourself both a favor and seek out a vendor selling genuine, fresh-off-the-vine heirloom-variety tomatoes they grew themselves. (Hint: most heirloom varieties are not the typical round, smooth-skinned type you see everywhere these days, but rather tend to grow into irregular shapes and sport prominent ridges.) Give one of these a try, garnished with a little salt and black peppercorns, and I can guarantee it will taste noticeably better than any tomato you've ever tried. They cherish a sweetness and succulence that has been all but completely bred out of your tough-skinned supermarket tomato. Grab yourself some freshly-harvested carrots, too, and tell me if those also don't taste better than their old, dried-out supermarket equivalent.
• Try broccolini (a.k.a., "baby broccoli", or "broccolettes") in substitution of full-grown broccoli. You'll find that the younger version has a much less pungent, sulfurous flavor to it, and steamed it goes delightfully well with a little garlic butter spooned over top.
• Seek out some fresh "French Breakfast" radishes, roast those in the oven for 50 minutes at 425F covered with some olive oil and a bit of salt, a misted after you remove them with a little lemon juice, and you'll have yourself a prime substitute for potatoes, with immensely-fewer carbs. Also, give eggplant--a top-notch meat substitute--a go; particularly if you can find eggplants harvested young, which are quite a bit sweeter to the taste.

Try these handful of possibilities for a start and let me know if your palate isn't suddenly a little bit more veggie-friendly? Over time, as you introduce more and more new vegetables to yourself this way, you may find yourself much less hesitant about swapping out a portion of the meat in your diet for yummy veggies. Hugs and happy eating.

 

[8byte]

Unless you have allergies or a tastebud “disorder” (some people are hyper sensitive to certain tastes) then being picky is something you can and should overcome. Not just because it’ll open up your dietary offerings, but because it’s also pretty insensitive and privileged.

That said, I totally believe you can tackle this, especially with the awesome advice & info you’ve already gotten in this thread. I was in a similar boat at one point in my life, and if I can do it, I’m confident anyone can. You have my sword OP, good luck and god speed!

 

[Wereroku]

Therapy would not be a bad idea if you are having a lot of anxiety. That would also help lead to working with a dietician.

 

[Kace]

What about eating fish and seafood to help? There's nothing unethical about eating some good fish or scallops.

 

[steejee]

If you like chili you can do a meatless one really easy that tastes great and is super healthy.

I use https://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/recipes/spicy-vegetarian-chili as a base then add corn and up a lot of the portions, then maybe add chorizo seitan for the "meat" texture. I'll add in stuff like potatoes and squash puree as well. Will typically do it in a large crock pot on a Sunday and it makes like half a weeks worth of meals for both of us.

Since so much of the flavor is the spices you won't miss the meat version.

You can swap in ground impossible/beyond as well - neither is healthy but both are far better for the environment than beef and just one package per big pot doesnt amount to much bad in a giant heap of veggies and beans.

 

[skycamefalling]

There is a good chance you suffer from ARFID, OP. So, all I want to say is that you should ignore people telling you “to grow up”. ARFID is a terrible condition. To this day I have problems eating some food items. I literally cannot swallow them. I will just gag until I throw up.

Talking to a mental health care professional might help you.

 

[texhnolyze]

I basically don't eat vegetables at all.

Click to shrink...

That's concerning..

Your body needs vegetables. Try to at least find the substitutes for fibres and such.

 

[Robochimp]

As someone who has kids, this is a battle I regularly wage for one of them.

This recipe went over well.

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Warm Honey Glaze

Roasty toasty brussels soak up this delicious honey sauce, creating a combo you just can’t beat.

www.google.com

 

[Z-Beat]

For me it's more of a convenience issue.

And also because I really, REALLY like fish

 

[Merv]

I've never done it, but the Potato Diet is supposed to be a good way to switch. I wouldn't suggest staying on it very long, but it could make the transition to full vegetable diet easier. As a somewhat picky eater myself, it's the way I would go.

Potato Diet Review: Does It Work for Weight Loss?

The potato diet — or potato hack — is a short-term fad diet that promises rapid weight loss. This article reviews the pros and cons of the potato diet and whether it can help you lose weight.

www.healthline.com

How Magician Penn Jillette Lost 100 Pounds on the Potato Diet

The famous illusionist performed a very out-there trick.

www.goodhousekeeping.com

 

[FunkyMonkey]

Mixing carbs and fats is what is making you hungry and overeat.

Explore drinking ice water as your sole fluid intake, tracking your calories, and intermittent fasting.

The simple fact is you're describing a food addiction and you need to start treating it as such with techniques that address that root problem.

Click to shrink...

100% this

 

[Deleted member 4367]

As someone who has a kids, this is a battle I regularly wage for one of them.

This recipe went over well.

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Warm Honey Glaze

Roasty toasty brussels soak up this delicious honey sauce, creating a combo you just can’t beat.

www.google.com

Click to shrink...

That looks delicious for a fancy dinner.

 

[JeTmAn]

Try Beyond/Impossible meats, after a while you can't tell it's fake. Though they're not exactly healthy either...