So....I've just had an experience I won't forget for a while. I think I just saw the weirdest Christmas movie of the year. It's called Christmas Chronicles starring Kurt Russell as Santa. And oh boy is it a ride.
Half the movie is your typical kids Christmas movie about believing in the season, and the other half is just batshit insanity.
Some things I've seen:
- Santa inferring that both world wars started because he didn't deliver the presents on time that year.
- Santa stealing a car with the help of a teen and young child and leading the cops on a chase through Chicago
- Santa being thrown in prison
- Santa partying with prostitutes
- A weird musical number in the style of jailhouse rock that comes out of nowhere and is never mentioned again.
- A little girl being thrown into a fire in Santa's gift sac by an organized crime group.
- Creepy as fuck elves almost cutting the teen's nuts off with a chainsaw
- Santa sending the kids on a chase after his reindeer and gifts only to reveal at the end of the movie he could've done everything himself and he just put them through hell for no reason.
- Giving the teen an ornament that's apparently a portal into the afterlife so he can see the face of his dead father in it's reflection.
- A strange 4th wall break right at the end where he suggests that the whole movie was real and he released it to the world at large himself.
What a ride. I haven't experienced such huge tonal shifts between scenes in a movie in a while. The whole film doesn't know what it wants to be. One moment the little girl is exploring the north pole and hanging with elves, the next the teen is about to get his ass kicked by several thugs who kidnapped him in a park. One minute the kids are having a heart to heart talk about their dead dad and the next Santa is rocking it in jail with some prostitutes that got picked up the night before.
If you get the chance give it a watch. It's on Netflix. As ridiculous as it is, you'll be very entertained.
Half the movie is your typical kids Christmas movie about believing in the season, and the other half is just batshit insanity.
Some things I've seen:
- Santa inferring that both world wars started because he didn't deliver the presents on time that year.
- Santa stealing a car with the help of a teen and young child and leading the cops on a chase through Chicago
- Santa being thrown in prison
- Santa partying with prostitutes
- A weird musical number in the style of jailhouse rock that comes out of nowhere and is never mentioned again.
- A little girl being thrown into a fire in Santa's gift sac by an organized crime group.
- Creepy as fuck elves almost cutting the teen's nuts off with a chainsaw
- Santa sending the kids on a chase after his reindeer and gifts only to reveal at the end of the movie he could've done everything himself and he just put them through hell for no reason.
- Giving the teen an ornament that's apparently a portal into the afterlife so he can see the face of his dead father in it's reflection.
- A strange 4th wall break right at the end where he suggests that the whole movie was real and he released it to the world at large himself.
What a ride. I haven't experienced such huge tonal shifts between scenes in a movie in a while. The whole film doesn't know what it wants to be. One moment the little girl is exploring the north pole and hanging with elves, the next the teen is about to get his ass kicked by several thugs who kidnapped him in a park. One minute the kids are having a heart to heart talk about their dead dad and the next Santa is rocking it in jail with some prostitutes that got picked up the night before.
If you get the chance give it a watch. It's on Netflix. As ridiculous as it is, you'll be very entertained.
