Job offer... 10 days before starting a new job

Firmus_Anguis · Feb 14, 2020

I don't usually make personal threads, but I'm in a bind.

Me and 2 other co-workers quit our jobs in november/december. Our work environment was toxic for about 2 years (and still is). I was number 13 to quit (out of a total of 22 people).

Two of our bosses were fired after me and my co-workers quit. Here's the thing though... I was in a bad place.
I was one of the people who had to endure most of the abuse. I simply had to get the hell away from that place, it simply wasn't healthy.

Now... To my little dilemma. I signed up for a job that I have barely any experience with, but the boss was kind and he understood my predicament (he had read the papers). He told me, "as long as you are willing to learn, we'll figure it out!".

Fast-forward to yesterday. One of my former-colleague's (who I quite like and respect) called me up and said, "Listen, I know this is going to sound strange to you, because I know what kind of person you are... But my boss would like to meet with you".

I met with him today. He offered me a job on the spot, a job that I have experience with and quite frankly, I quite enjoyed doing. The pay is slightly better, a lot of my former colleagues work there, I get more vacation days and, hadn't I already signed up for the other job, I would've taken this one in a heartbeat. This fucking sucks, and I don't know how to tackle this shit.

Anyone of you who has been in a similar predicament? I'd love some advice.

finalflame · Feb 14, 2020

Take the better job as long as it's certain and you have it in writing. You don't owe the other job anything. Politely inform them something has come up and you will have to rescind your acceptance of their offer, but ONLY after you are positive your new offer has legs.

Hindl · Feb 14, 2020

People accepting a job offer and bailing for another job isn't that uncommon. It happened in my office just last year. It's no big deal, you don't owe the company anything. You said you'd take the new job if you hadn't signed up for this one. Just apologize to the job you accepted and say a better opportunity came up, and thank them for considering you. And yes, do all of this only AFTER you have the other job in writing

swift-darius · Feb 14, 2020

take this better job. it's a no-brainer

bmdubya · Feb 14, 2020

finalflame said:
Take the better job as long as it's certain and you have it in writing. You don't owe the other job anything. Politely inform them something has come up and you will have to rescind your acceptance of their offer, but ONLY after you are positive your new offer has legs.

Yep, 100% this.

Einbroch · Feb 14, 2020

Unless your field is small and everyone is connected, who cares. Take the better paying job you enjoy more. But make sure it's in writing and set in stone. Don't back out unless you're as guaranteed as you can get with the new offer. I've had "offers" that dragged on for months and ended up with nothing because nothing was in writing.

Yeah, it sucks for that first guy, but it's a job. Look out for yourself, because no one else will.

CloseTalker · Feb 14, 2020

Take the second job. Being overly personal in the workplace is probably what kept you in a toxic environment for two years in the first place. It's just business, do what's best for you.

CopyOfACopy · Feb 14, 2020

do whatever is best for you

nothing personal, just business

Kasai · Feb 14, 2020

Take the better job, BUT, inform the other job as quickly as possible and inform them about the situation.

I got a job, an amazing job, and my first day, 2 hours before I was scheduled, I had to tell the boss that family matters came up and due to the distance and us having only one car, I would have to decline the job.

She totally understood and actually hired me on the spot 8 months later.

Just be quick and polite.

Ajax125 · Feb 14, 2020

Take the better job or regret not taking it later on.

Evo Shandor · Feb 14, 2020

First post nails it.

Common Knowledge · Feb 14, 2020

You don't owe any employer anything. Do what's best for you.

Chopchop · Feb 14, 2020

That does suck, especially because the boss of the other guy sounds like he's trying to be nice to you.

But in your career, you should always look out for yourself first. If you take feelings out of it, this sounds like a better deal for both you and the first boss. That boss could find another potentially more qualified person instead of taking a chance with you, and you get a job that you like more *and pays better*.

I'd take the new job offer. 10 days in advance sucks, but it's better than actually starting the job and then leaving. Besides, any probation period (which hasn't even started yet) allows either the employee or employer to drop out of the job at any time for reasons like this one. And if the first boss is competent at all, he should have a shortlist of candidates to hire anyway. He would likely just offer the job to the next person down the list, who would then start like a week or two after you would have.

greekwolf · Feb 14, 2020

I mean... you have to do what's best for your future and mental well-being. If you've been offered a position that's similar to the work you're already comfortable with and even enjoy, vs. a job where you will be inexperienced with no guarantees that it will be to your liking, then I think its a no-brainer. Factor in a higher salary with better benefits and, well...

Deleted member 11626 · Feb 14, 2020

Take the better job, as long as all that stuff is the truth about it. Life is too short to feel like you owe any company anything, and you'll regret not taking the better job if you don't.

PlanetSmasher · Feb 14, 2020

finalflame said:
Take the better job as long as it's certain and you have it in writing. You don't owe the other job anything. Politely inform them something has come up and you will have to rescind your acceptance of their offer, but ONLY after you are positive your new offer has legs.

Got it in one. Businesses will understand you rescinding an offer way more readily than you starting and quitting after two days to take a better job. The latter is disrespectful, the former is basic reality.

Charpunk · Feb 14, 2020

Thank the first person for their offer, explain to them you were offered a job better suited to your area of expertise, take second offer.

twentytwo22 · Feb 14, 2020

I've done this before. They will understand and if they are jerks about it, you dodged a bullet anyway.

Wireframe · Feb 14, 2020

One and done

PMS341 · Feb 14, 2020

twentytwo22 said:
I've done this before. They will understand and if they are jerks about it, you dodged a bullet anyway.

This. Just tell 'em sorry and move on imo.

Deleted member 32005 · Feb 14, 2020

be professional but follow the money. you could even leverage the offer if they really wanted you.

Hollywood Duo · Feb 14, 2020

10 days is still plenty of time for them to offer it to someone else. Just don't wait until like the day before.

Deleted member 16365 · Feb 14, 2020

You don't owe anything to anyone or any company. Be honest with them and don't just not show for your first day.

Keep in mind that they can also pull your offer at any time. You didn't sign a contract.

tsampikos · Feb 14, 2020

Use this as leverage and negotiate both to see what ends up being in your favor.

Slipknot666 · Feb 14, 2020

Tell your current boss you found a better paying job.

StopMakingSense · Feb 14, 2020

Going by the nature of how you got job you would be starting, it sounds like that guy would be happy you landed somewhere comfortable.

Firmus_Anguis · Feb 14, 2020

I might want to add some details. It's still in the same field. The bosses know eachother and are quite competitive. They've continously tried to headhunt eachother's workers.

My current boss is trying to build a new department. The one making me the offer has about 25 experts in his employ, 5 of which I know... He is trying to position me in a role where I'll be directly mentored by one of the best experts in this field (not only in the company, but in Sweden). He is 50 - They want someone young to eventually take over (I turn 30 this year).

Man, this truly sucks... Thanks for the replies! Oh, I'll definitely get it in writing before I decide anything.

Aureon · Feb 14, 2020

Step 1: Get offer in writing
Step 2: Tell the in-waiting boss
Step 3: Either negotiate, or just bail if you're 100% sure you want the second job.

Firmus_Anguis said:
I might want to add some details. It's still in the same field. The bosses know eachother and are quite competitive. They've continously tried to headhunt eachother's workers.

My current boss is trying to build a new department. The one making me the offer has about 25 experts in his employ, 5 of which I know... He is trying to position me in a role where I'll be directly mentored by one of the best experts in this field (not only in the company, but in Sweden). He is 50 - They want someone young to eventually take over (I turn 30 this year).

Man, this truly sucks... Thanks for the replies! Oh, I'll definitely get it in writing before I decide anything.

I'm telling you, if you don't negotiate a bit them versus each other, you're leaving money on the table. There's always margin.

That said, i'll always rate non-money concerns (Commute length, work environment, growth opportunity) before marginal money considerations.

Chopchop · Feb 14, 2020

Firmus_Anguis said:
I might want to add some details. It's still in the same field. The bosses know eachother and are quite competitive. They've continously tried to headhunt eachother's workers.

My current boss is trying to build a new department. The one making me the offer has about 25 experts in his employ, 5 of which I know... He is trying to position me in a role where I'll be directly mentored by one of the best experts in this field (not only in the company, but in Sweden). He is 50 - They want someone young to eventually take over (I turn 30 this year).

Man, this truly sucks... Thanks for the replies! Oh, I'll definitely get it in writing before I decide anything.

In a way, this makes it easier. If they know each other and are competitive like that, then they know that whoever you choose, it's not personal. There likely won't be hard feelings if they both openly poach from each other.

Go with the choice that you think is best for you.

Deleted member 21709 · Feb 14, 2020

Go with the better paying job that you have experience in. What did your friend mean with "because I know what kind of person you are... "?

Mammoth Jones · Feb 14, 2020

finalflame said:
Take the better job as long as it's certain and you have it in writing. You don't owe the other job anything. Politely inform them something has come up and you will have to rescind your acceptance of their offer, but ONLY after you are positive your new offer has legs.

This. Get it in writing. 100% Guaranteed.

Deleted member 11985 · Feb 14, 2020

Headhunting happens all the time. My boss jokes about some of my former coworkers who were headhunted by other former coworkers. I don't think anybody takes it personal, so you should just take the better job.

iHeartGameDev · Feb 14, 2020

At the end of the day, you need to look out for what's best for yourself. I think that the job with slightly better pay in a familiar environment (at least in terms of the work and some of the coworkers that I assume you like) might be the better call. You would certainly be burning a bridge with the guy who was looking out for you given you don't have experience in the job he gave you, but that can also be framed as a fair reason for you to go with this new opportunity:

"I really appreciate you being so open to letting me learn, but an opportunity was literally just handed to me in the line of work that I am already proficient with. And, truthfully, it also has better pay. I'm so sorry to do this to you. I truly appreciate your time, but at this time this opportunity is one that I can't pass. I hope you understand this was a difficult decision for me to make. I literally made a thread on resetera asking for advice!"

Hope most of that helps ;D

Firmus_Anguis · Feb 14, 2020

inguef said:
Go with the better paying job that you have experience in. What did your friend mean with "because I know what kind of person you are... "?

Loyal to a fault. Especially to people who've been nothing but kind to me. I'll no doubt come off as the villian here and I hate it. I'll potentially be burning bridges I never intended to burn.

Deleted member 21709 · Feb 14, 2020

Firmus_Anguis said:
Loyal to a fault. Especially to people who've been nothing but kind to me. I'll no doubt come off as the villian here and I hate it. I'll potentially be burning bridges I never intended to burn.

Just be courteous, and you will be fine. You shouldn't be making this important decision based on what others might think of you. Do what's best for you and what feels right.

You will forget about those guilty feelings in a week at your new position.

Spork4000 · Feb 14, 2020

Take the better job, as someone who's been in a similar position, you WILL regret not going with the better opportunity.

Rookhelm · Feb 14, 2020

finalflame said:
Take the better job as long as it's certain and you have it in writing. You don't owe the other job anything. Politely inform them something has come up and you will have to rescind your acceptance of their offer, but ONLY after you are positive your new offer has legs.

This, happens all the time. If this new offer is a job you'd rather have is a guarantee, tell the other one something better came up. They'll understand and won't hold it against you...especially since you aren't experienced in the other one.

Cth · Feb 14, 2020

I was laid off and given six months to find something comparable..

Applied non-stop and one week before the deadline I was offered a job and accepted it. It had a good risk/reward being something I hadn't done and would have involved a lot of travel and getting to set up an office from scratch. They were honest and told me I was the 2nd choice, but the first choice backed out. I needed health care and took the job. It was my 2nd choice to be honest. I had spent weeks talking to them at every level of the organization, and they would take weeks to give me updates.

Then two days later, I'm offered a job from my first choice, the one I thought I hadn't done as well on the interview with. The people were great, and I wouldn't have to travel. It's closer, pays the same, etc. Very comparable but less stress for me.

I was still waiting to get my final paperwork from the first job, and went with my gut and signed on with the 2nd job (my first choice) They seemed more organized and stable. I was afraid the first company might change their mind about expanding into our region and close the office and I wanted something stable.

Long story short, don't be afraid to tell the first company you've received a better job offer. In most cases they'll appreciate your honesty and the heads up to give them more time to go with another candidate. And if you're wanting to avoid the conversation, you can always email/mail them. As long as you haven't signed any paperwork, it's easier for everyone. You're helping them by turning them down, so let them know asap.

Good luck!

tacocat · Feb 14, 2020

Take the better job. This is your life we are talking about here.

Hubologist · Feb 14, 2020

Take the job, speak to the guy who hired you and just be honest. He'll understand.

SolVanderlyn · Feb 14, 2020

Sounds like you should take the better job. You were suddenly out of work, it's not abnormal to look for multiple opportunities. Your potential employer will understand.

Firmus_Anguis · Feb 14, 2020

Cth said:
I was laid off and given six months to find something comparable..

Applied non-stop and one week before the deadline I was offered a job and accepted it. It had a good risk/reward being something I hadn't done and would have involved a lot of travel and getting to set up an office from scratch. They were honest and told me I was the 2nd choice, but the first choice backed out. I needed health care and took the job. It was my 2nd choice to be honest. I had spent weeks talking to them at every level of the organization, and they would take weeks to give me updates.

Then two days later, I'm offered a job from my first choice, the one I thought I hadn't done as well on the interview with. The people were great, and I wouldn't have to travel. It's closer, pays the same, etc. Very comparable but less stress for me.

I was still waiting to get my final paperwork from the first job, and went with my gut and signed on with the 2nd job (my first choice) They seemed more organized and stable. I was afraid the first company might change their mind about expanding into our region and close the office and I wanted something stable.

Long story short, don't be afraid to tell the first company you've received a better job offer. In most cases they'll appreciate your honesty and the heads up to give them more time to go with another candidate. And if you're wanting to avoid the conversation, you can always email/mail them. As long as you haven't signed any paperwork, it's easier for everyone. You're helping them by turning them down, so let them know asap.

Good luck!

Thank you!

My problem is that I've already signed everything... I did that 2 months ago. :-/

Which makes the situation even shittier. I probably should've clarified that, in case anyone didn't get that from what I've written.

____ · Feb 14, 2020

You don't owe either of them anything, so take the one that works best for you.

Dache · Feb 14, 2020

Firmus_Anguis said:
Loyal to a fault. Especially to people who've been nothing but kind to me. I'll no doubt come off as the villian here and I hate it. I'll potentially be burning bridges I never intended to burn.

No, I really don't think you will. Talk to the guy, be apologetic and thank him profusely for giving you a chance and explain the situation - you know the role a lot better, the pay, holiday, etc. It sounds like they're the kind of people who would understand better than most that this is business and it's just a no-brainer for you. Unless the role you'd be starting in soon - that you have no experience in - is something way cooler, interesting, has more room for growth, or a combination of all of those, you may be sticking around out of politeness more than anything else and regretting it later.

EDIT: Oh but holy fuck yes get the new offer in writing and signed before you do aaaaaannything

Fuchsia · Feb 14, 2020

finalflame said:
Take the better job as long as it's certain and you have it in writing. You don't owe the other job anything. Politely inform them something has come up and you will have to rescind your acceptance of their offer, but ONLY after you are positive your new offer has legs.

One and done imo.

jviggy43 · Feb 14, 2020

OP this is the easiest decision of your life. You take the job that pay you more and gives you more benefits. If you want you could reach out to the other job and see if you could leverage the situation (maybe you can up your price). Use it to your advantage.

Tagyhag · Feb 14, 2020

Like other said, take the better job but be absolutely sure that you have it before quitting the other job.

Chopchop · Feb 14, 2020

Firmus_Anguis said:
Thank you!

My problem is that I've already signed everything... I did that 2 months ago. :-/

Which makes the situation even shittier. I probably should've clarified that, in case anyone didn't get that from what I've written.

Your employment agreement likely has some bit in it that talks about a probationary or grace period that says it's okay if either you or your employer decide to part ways within the first few months of you working there. For the employer, that bit is there so that they can drop a bad hire without much fuss. For the employee, that bit is there so that you can leave easily if things aren't working out.

In other words, it's okay for you to leave under these circumstances, even if you signed those agreements. It's the working world. Everyone understands that you have to look out for yourself.

I understand feeling loyalty and not wanting to break your word, but in cases like these, I think it's okay, and more importantly, you need to make the choices that benefit you the most. I really don't think anyone will take it personally as long as you're polite when communicating your intentions.

SephiZack · Feb 14, 2020

Firmus_Anguis said:
Thank you!

My problem is that I've already signed everything... I did that 2 months ago. :-/

Which makes the situation even shittier. I probably should've clarified that, in case anyone didn't get that from what I've written.

Don't you have a probation period where you can quit/rescind the contract (or get fired) without repercussions?

davepoobond · Feb 14, 2020

take the better job
let the other job know you appreciate their offer. don't burn the bridge, you might need to fall back on it.

Job offer... 10 days before starting a new job

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