Just a taste of what women might experience online

excelsiorlef

Member
Oct 25, 2017
44,425
Indeed. I don’t really understand where’s the fun in insulting other people while playing. Also the thought of “Women don’t know how to play video games” must vanish.

I’m not saying the same, I’m saying it happens either you’re a man or woman. There’s no other solution but to report them. What are you going to do exactly? Talk to them about how it’s wrong and make them stop? They won’t.
"I'm not saying it's the same... I'm just saying it happens to everyone"

You and a few others keep trying to remove women specifically from the conversation, stop.
 
Oct 28, 2017
8,956
What female gamers have to put up with online is straight up embarrassing and it makes the rest of us look bad by merely being in relative proximity to these asshats.

Not to mention all the fucking racists.
 

Richter1887

Member
Oct 27, 2017
19,023
Assholes like this are the reason I stopped playing Online. I really feel for these women who only want to have fun and chill out only for these punks to show up harrassing them.

They really need some kind of protection for females playing online. They should also be able to ban people who do this as well. They will never learn otherwise.
 
Oct 25, 2017
10,982
North Carolina
2 things you can’t be in online gaming, a woman or black. If they find out you are either, you will get harassed. It’s ducking pathetic and nuts and why I stick with private cheat these days most the time.
 

angelgrievous

Member
Nov 8, 2017
4,519
Ohio
The more I see stuff like this and the replies to them, the more I hate the use of the word "trolling". It's a mindless way to excuse dealing with a problem by equating genuine sexism, racism, and what have you with harmless pranksters.
Yep, this is too true. Every time this shit happens and we/them/whoever refer to it as trolling is undermining the true nature of what this is. It's not trolling, it's far worse, and it needs to be called out every single time.
 

Sir Guts

Use of alt account
Member
Oct 26, 2017
10,480
If your first response to this is "it happens to all of us" then you are taking away from this. You're not helping, you are in fact, actively harming.

Yes, this kind of barely comprehensible nonsense insult dribble happens to lots of people but women get it all the time. They don't have to "do" anything to encounter it other than be recognizable as a woman.

That's the difference and by trying to minimise it as "just a thing that happens" you are empowering the idiots who do it. Try instead to call out anyone you hear doing it, so at least there is some resistance.

Also be supportive of any abused group who makes a point of how crappy their lot in the gaming space is.
Again, I’m not taking away anything nor empowering the idiots who do it. I’m just trying to say that this will never stop happening so don’t let it get into you. That’s all. I report them all the time even if I heard anyone ingame talk about anyone not only me. Again, I apologize if I sounded that I’m taking away or empowering those idiots because clearly I’m not. Just trying to make people shut off these idiots or otherwise they won't enjoy a single game
 

PhazonBlonde

User requested ban
Banned
May 18, 2018
3,293
Somewhere deep in space
I remember watching a video about women who deal with this kind of BS. They all said that having other people call that shit out while they’re playing would help. Of course on r/games that led to a bunch of men calling them dumb and that it wouldn’t work.
It's not just reddit my friend, look at all the dudes doing the same shit in this thread throwing up their hands and saying nothing will fix it. Solution is simple, more ppl call it out and kick sexist assholes.
 

Ferrs

Avenger
Oct 26, 2017
10,379
People talking like this happen the same no matter the gender are either really ignorant, they don't want to see the truth, or they act like those ""trolls"". I just can't understand any other way because, NO, this doesn't happen with both genders.

No man is being harrassed just because he's a man. That's ENOUGH difference to make it not comparable. It's not simply the harassment, it's also why it happens.
 

grimrepo

Member
Jan 9, 2018
97
People need to start getting banned for this or companies need to be sued for facilitating it. I'm a (white staight) male and i can't stand listing to this shit.
 

Sir Guts

Use of alt account
Member
Oct 26, 2017
10,480
User Banned (1 Week): Sexism + Diminishing the prevalence and impact of gendered harassment
"I'm not saying it's the same... I'm just saying it happens to everyone"

You and a few others keep trying to remove women specifically from the conversation, stop.
Not at all lady, my intention is definitely helping you to enjoy your game more. I game with my lady all the time and we learned how to shut those idiots off. Why let a bunch of ignorants ruin our good time?
 

Natalie M.

Member
May 8, 2018
398
'Are you really a girl or just another 9 year old f****t?' was the only question I've ever been asked on voice chat. I stopped using it all together, not because I was offended - but because it was brutally annoying and I was truthfully embarrassed to even have that shit come out of my speakers.
 

aeolist

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
4,191
one of the few things i particularly like about overwatch online is the relative prevalence of women who play. i've still heard and reported some gross stuff being said to them but i really think just having more women around is something that helps a lot with this issue.
 

Panther2103

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,493
I had a few experiences where I've had to talk out against people in matches who are being obnoxious towards females. I remember in Halo 4 my girlfriend at the time got into a vehicle and it got blown up and the dude sent her a message telling her how females shouldn't be allowed to play video games because they don't know how. I tried to handle the situation as best as I could by messaging him back, dude ended up telling me he was going to kill me in real life and called me a bunch of racial slurs. You can also see some peoples attitudes change the second a woman is in the game. It's really bad sometimes.
 

MochaKoffee

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,786
I've long since lost all patience for this shit and just mute everyone first thing if I'm playing a game with voip. If I don't personally know you, I don't want to hear your voice or speak to you period.

"Don't feed the trolls" aka "hide and bury your own identity to make gamerz feel more comfy while playing their game"
Don't forget that they'll also get extremely angry that you're not on comms or that you've muted everyone like they said you should do because you're robbing them of their callouts. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 

excelsiorlef

Member
Oct 25, 2017
44,425
Like legit do you guys think women have never heard oh just mute and report before. Like that is some seriously new fangled advice that will surely make us feel like our concerns are being listened to.


Here's a spoiler for you: It's not just trolls, it's also your 3am gaming buddy you have a great time with, or your teenage son who is a good kid, or or A+ Kid brother, or your sweet young brother, or your chill cousin or your best friend or your cool uncle.
 

Unclebenny

Member
Oct 28, 2017
660
Again, I’m not taking away anything nor empowering the idiots who do it. I’m just trying to say that this will never stop happening so don’t let it get into you. That’s all. I report them all the time even if I heard anyone ingame talk about anyone not only me. Again, I apologize if I sounded that I’m taking away or empowering those idiots because clearly I’m not. Just trying to make people shut off these idiots or otherwise they won't enjoy a single game
That's thing, intentionally or not, you are empowering them. If the response to abuse from a large portion of the community is "it's a inevitability" it creates an atmosphere that allows the abuse to continue.

There is no easy solution to this problem but the start is for it become obvious that it is unacceptable behavior. Unfortunately we can't even get that far because we always have to have the discussion over whether this is really a problem or not.

You seem sincere in your points but keep in mind the same arguments are used as deflection by those who don't wan't to accept this as a real problem.

By equating the problems women face to the same ones everyone face, you are minimizing the problem and adding to the perception that harassment based on gender is being overblown.
 

Deleted member 835

User requested account deletion
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
15,660
Women of colour and lgbt have it worse than white women, white women have it worse than black guys and lgbt guys, white lgbt guys have it worse than white hetrosexual guys .

Online chat is wack, aa the highlighted I never use voice chat etc. But even I know women have it worse.

Women and other people shouldn't have to "report and block". Hell they shouldn't even have to be put through it in the first place
 
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PhazonBlonde

User requested ban
Banned
May 18, 2018
3,293
Somewhere deep in space
I've long since lost all patience for this shit and just mute everyone first thing if I'm playing a game with voip. If I don't personally know you, I don't want to hear your voice or speak to you period.



Don't forget that they'll also get extremely angry that you're not on comms or that you've muted everyone like they said you should do because you're robbing them of their callouts. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yep. So many people rage quit Fortnite squads because they don't hear people on mics right off the bat.

"Anyone got a mic?"
*silence*
"Alright fuck all you"
/leaves

happens all the time
 

Mr.Deadshot

Member
Oct 27, 2017
7,543
User banned (1 week): equating harassment with stealth bragging
Stealth brag video? ;)

I mean it's the usual stuff you hear in online-games. Doesn't have much to do with her gender. I would have muted these guys after their first sentences. There is really no point to deal with these kind of players. Stick with the nice players/friends and enjoy your game.
 

honest_ry

Banned
Oct 30, 2017
4,288
I was playing PUBG with a couple of random women last night and i was helpful and not a dick.

It must have been a breath of fresh air for them.
 

Dee Bill

Member
Oct 28, 2017
369
Montreal
I get this kind of behavior and i'm a dude. Just the other day, i was playing Fortnite and this guy was calling me names like the n-word and yelling at me on a mic which really made me go angry for no reason and all i wanted was to relax playing a videogame. I love online gaming but i try to do it with friends i know in real life or mute the fuck out of everyone.

This is one huge turn-off from online gaming, some people feel like they can do whatever they like behind their screen at home. I feel bad for these girls. This online trash talking culture is going too far.
 

CG Amor

Member
Oct 30, 2017
1,731
For every example of ppl talking shit to women online why isn't there ppl stepping in to say something?

I always see complaints, always see proof of ppl being assholes but yet never see or hear of ppl stepping in to stop the harrassment. It seems the only defence that happens is ppl discussing this thing here.

Would be nice to see ppl step in and make a difference instead of all sitting there with their mics muted recording video to later come here and discuss how awful ppl are.
 

Sir Guts

Use of alt account
Member
Oct 26, 2017
10,480
That's thing, intentionally or not, you are empowering them. If the response to abuse from a large portion of the community is "it's a inevitability" it creates an atmosphere that allows the abuse to continue.

There is no easy solution to this problem but the start is for it become obvious that it is unacceptable behavior. Unfortunately we can't even get that far because we always have to have the discussion over whether this is really a problem or not.

You seem sincere in your points but keep in mind the same arguments are used as deflection by those who don't wan't to accept this as a real problem.

By equating the problems women face to the same ones everyone face, you are minimizing the problem and adding to the perception that harassment based on gender is being overblown.
No abuse is accepted no matter the form. Stop talking like if I’m supporting them ffs! I’ve been patient and explaining yet you still think that I’m empowering those idiots. Give me a solution then! Developers aren’t doing anything let alone what can we do about it?! It is a real problem and I’m still waiting for a solution if you have one.
 

Suburban Thug

Member
Nov 13, 2017
3,427
Midwest
No what you said was
No that is one portion of a sentence from a post that I made.

Nobody is trying to exclude women from the conversation, the entire thread is about harassment they can receive online. The message you should be taking away from my post is that this (and worse) has happened to me -- a black male -- and the only way I've found to deal with these people is to 1) stay in party chat or 2) block and report. There is no way Sony/Microsoft will spend money moderating speech on their online services, that simply isn't a realistic option. Attempting to debate these people doesn't do anything because they don't want to be educated, any response they get is a victory. So I guess I am trying to say I empathize with what women go through and have a little experience with discrimination or harassment. I wasn't trying to universalize women and whatever else you accused. Sorry if it came off that way.
 

excelsiorlef

Member
Oct 25, 2017
44,425
Stealth brag video? ;)

I mean it's the usual stuff you hear in online-games. Doesn't have much to do with her gender. I would have muted these guys after their first sentences. There is really no point to deal with these kind of players. Stick with the nice players/friends and enjoy your game.
:|

no

Put hey congrats posts like this absolutely add to the toxicity that discourages women from engaging with gaming more.
 

Figboy

Associate Game Designer
Verified
Oct 25, 2017
1,554
Los Angeles, CA
That's gotta be the edgiest thing I've read today.

I'm well aware that this is not a magic problem solver, but it's better than getting aggressive (or worst case; cry) because that's the goal of those people.
Or perhaps men can start being held to a better standard and work to change their behavior, instead of the woman having to, once again, alter her behavior so there’s a chance she won’t be targeted by predatory behavior.

As usual, the onus is put in the victim to somehow rise above the abusers actions, instead of calling out the abusers actions as unacceptable.

One of the main reasons my wife doesn’t bother playing anything online is because the moment she has to speak, the harassment begins. Every time. It never fails. Hell, I’ve had people harassing her while I was streaming a game, and they heard her talking to me because my mic picked it up.

As men, I feel like we need to be better, more active allies to women that face harassment. If you’re playing online and your teammates are harassing a woman/girl teammate, call that shit out. If it’s possible to kick the harasser from the match or block them or whatever, do it.

This toxic behavior is deplorable and embarrassing. It’s not on the woman to change her behavior and gaming habits because people can’t act like human beings when playing a fucking video game online.
 

Visanideth

Banned
Oct 31, 2017
4,771
Disgusting stuff. But 5 minutes on any videogame related community on Facebook tell you everything you need to know about the problem.
 

PhazonBlonde

User requested ban
Banned
May 18, 2018
3,293
Somewhere deep in space
Stealth brag video? ;)

I mean it's the usual stuff you hear in online-games. Doesn't have much to do with her gender. I would have muted these guys after their first sentences. There is really no point to deal with these kind of players. Stick with the nice players/friends and enjoy your game.
Doesnt have much to do with her gender? It happened literally right after she made a call out and they heard her female voice! Please stop invalidating women's experiences you're not helping you're making this worse
 

AWizardDidIt

Member
Oct 28, 2017
602
Anne's good people and actually super good at Siege and OW. I have occasionally tuned into her streams but whenever some dickwad started calling out to her sex in voice chat it would cause me to become so uncomfortable that even I as a passive viewer would have a hard time continuing to watch. I can't imagine dealing with that every time I went on the internet. She's way more thick skinned than I am to make it her livelihood.
 

Tregard

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,462
These people are just dire.

Also just wanted to say "Anne Munition" is a great name.
 

Manny Toons

Member
Oct 26, 2017
715
BUT IT HAPPENS TO ME TOO. No, it doesn't. Stop trying to make everything about you and your XY chromosomes.
 

Ferrs

Avenger
Oct 26, 2017
10,379
Ok, can a man step in here and tell me his experience about when he was harassed just because he was a man?
 
Oct 25, 2017
826
I have to constantly report and tell people to shut the fuck up in comp OW cause they find is so strange that a woman is on their team.
I remember this guy dove in 1v5 as Winston when all we needed to do was guard the point because we got a pick and then he blamed the loss on only woman on the team for not healing his overextension.
That shit tilted me so bad because not only was it not even her fault at all, he couldn't even see how he was the one that cost us the win by not being near the team.
 

Hollywood Duo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
17,767
Online chat is terrible. I gave it up years ago. Sucks that these people have to endure this kind of abuse.
 

L Thammy

Spacenoid
Member
Oct 25, 2017
17,814
For those who are saying that this doesn't have much to do with gender, are you looking at the specific statements being made? Are you at least willing to accept that the ones that are specifically on the subject of an individual's gender do, in fact, have to do with gender?
 

Weltall Zero

Member
Oct 26, 2017
12,237
Madrid
You act cool and counter whatever they say.
If it they fire back and it keeps going back and forth, ask calmly if they (teammates) want to win this game or bitch around.
If that still doesn't work, you can still mute the others.

Honestly, I think a lot of people shouting "kill yourself" would shut up if you'd just go ahead with something like "why don't you try it first?". Harsh, but there's no reason not to be harsh to people telling you to kys.
You have a singularly odd idea of "not feeding the trolls".

Also your thought that in one minute and two paragraphs you've come up with a failproof flowchart to stop harassment would be adorable, if it wasn't offensive, insensitive, clueless and unempathetic at the same time.
 

CG Amor

Member
Oct 30, 2017
1,731
BUT IT HAPPENS TO ME TOO. No, it doesn't. Stop trying to make everything about you and your XY chromosomes.
What's wrong if it happens to other ppl too? Should it be used to validate their behaviour? No. And if that's what your getting at, that's fine, but dont sit there saying no one else is allowed to complain of their experience no matter what race or gender. We are all humans.
 
Oct 25, 2017
8,660
Or perhaps men can start being held to a better standard and work to change their behavior, instead of the woman having to, once again, alter her behavior so there’s a chance she won’t be targeted by predatory behavior.

As usual, the onus is put in the victim to somehow rise above the abusers actions, instead of calling out the abusers actions as unacceptable.

One of the main reasons my wife doesn’t bother playing anything online is because the moment she has to speak, the harassment begins. Every time. It never fails. Hell, I’ve had people harassing her while I was streaming a game, and they heard her talking to me because my mic picked it up.

As men, I feel like we need to be better, more active allies to women that face harassment. If you’re playing online and your teammates are harassing a woman/girl teammate, call that shit out. If it’s possible to kick the harasser from the match or block them or whatever, do it.

This toxic behavior is deplorable and embarrassing. It’s not on the woman to change her behavior and gaming habits because people can’t act like human beings when playing a fucking video game online.
Thank you. I can't believe that has to be said but that's where we are at sadly.
 

Trickster

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,534
Companies honestly needs to just crack down hard on this kind of behaviour. Should just be a straight perma ban if you are caught engaging in behaviour that could be categorized as harassment. Like, let these dipshits learn the hard way. Make it so that being a toxic idiot carries the risk of having to rebuy the game on a new account and start over in whatever progress system is in the game

I'm not sure if I've just been lucky or not, but in the hundreds of overwatch games I've played, I haven't been on a team where someone behaved like this. I mean, there's been plenty of toxic as shit games. But not the whole pathetic display of "omg ur a gurl? asl? you got big tits lmaololo?"
 

Kill3r7

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,997
The world is full of assholes and bullies both online and in real life. Unfortunately, online gaming is even worse for women and minorities because of anonymity and very few gamers speaking up to protect their fellow players while the behavior is occurring. I am guilty of this myself as I oftentimes will opt to mute all players rather than call out the behavior.
 

Menx64

Member
Oct 30, 2017
3,504
People are playing games trying to kill each other, been the most violent makes you the most points, the more you kill the better you are... and then expect people to be nice to each other. I am sorry but I believe there is a disconnect with that sort of thinking.
Nobody should be subject to harassment because of who they are, what they believe or any other reason, but people paying war games for fun are weird.