Just a taste of what women might experience online

[gogosox82]

LOL. You really think Blizzard would do something about toxic behavior after ignoring it for so many years?

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Well I guess you just answered my question then. I don't play ow so I didn't know it was an issue there I don't remember it being this bad in wow ( granted I haven't played wow in 5 or 6 years) or Diablo 3( but there I just mostly play by myself or with friends) so I guess I'm a bit ignorant about it but blizzard needs to do something. This is completely unacceptable behavior going in in their game.

 

[Tahnit]

The difference being that when you end that session the harassment goes away. Women don't get that luxury.

Also remember that when they're busy harassing you, at least they're not harassing her. Seems like a small price to pay for giving someone a respite from this bullshit.

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Yeah that's how I look at it. Eventually they shut up.

Some of the best OW players I've seen in comp have been women.

 

[Deleted member 18161]

Fucking scumbag permavirgins.

These are the type of guys that piss their pants when any female talks to them in real life so then take it out on females online.

My little cousin plays OW online and the abuse she gets from males is horrific. Thankfully she's found a regular group of friends to play with.

 

[Tahnit]

Are there any social MMO games where people communicate without the toxicity? I mean, you can't avoid the occasional asshole, but are there games with a very relaxed player base?

I remember Pangya was pretty good. I played solo or tournament matches, and at worst it was people making lame golf puns.

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Ffxiv seems very inclusive.

 

[Majukun]

You are missing the point, it doesn't matter whether or not this happens every time or even most times, it matters that it happened at all. It's unacceptable that this happens to anyone at any point.

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yet is not something you can just stop.

there's a reason why moderation is a thing in forums,it's because on the internet you can't count on people self-regulating their behavior..someone will always, for shit and giggles, for real hate or for whatever step out of line.

problem is, you can't moderate every single match of every single videogame..you might put a report system but i wonder how registering the voice chat of people and then listening to it would hold out in a court when there are people constantly worried that the government is watching and spying on them.

also you would still need to put a considerable amount of workforce on it,and while i can see EA,UBIsoft, Activision not being hurt that much by it..samecan't be said for many other developers

 

[PhazonBlonde]

Ffxiv seems very inclusive.

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Generally yes, but i got some dude stalking me from that game. Also was called a "blue haired feminazi with a roast beef vagina" while in raid last time. not fun.

 

[AyaisMUsikWhore]

True story. I've heard shit like this since MW2 days and continue to hear it till this day. It's even more weird when this is being said by dudes a whole generation below me and some above me. Like it's not even just grown men and it's sad. I never ever play with my mic on unless I'm playing with friends in private group chat.

This is why private group chat is essential

 

[Ostinatto]

People act like that when they are anonymous on the internet, same with twitter and youtube comments.

 

[Legacy]

Disgusting, it's pricks like those who don't know how to treat women and probably will barely get chance to. Same ones who are quick to talk shit on comms then clam up when they actually see girls in real life.

Pathetic behaviour, I play with several women in stacks in Overwatch and it's never been an issue. Sucks that women have to go through this, it's a few jerks who give the rest of us a bad name.

 

[Chopchop]

Are there any social MMO games where people communicate without the toxicity? I mean, you can't avoid the occasional asshole, but are there games with a very relaxed player base?

I remember Pangya was pretty good. I played solo or tournament matches, and at worst it was people making lame golf puns.

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FFXIV is decent on that front. There are a lot of girls playing the game, and the playerbase seems older and more mature in general.

There are still assholes, but for the most part, if a girl shows up in your party, no one bats an eye.

 

[Deleted member 11413]

yet is not something you can just stop.

there's a reason why moderation is a thing in forums,it's because on the itnerent you can't count on people self-regulating their behavior..someone will always, for shit and giggles, for real hate or for whatever step out of line.

problem is, you can't moderate every single match of every single videogame..you might put a report system but i wonder how registering the voice chat of people and then listening to it would hold out in a court when there are people constantly worried that the government is watching and spying on them.

also you would still need to put a considerable amount of workforce on it,and while i can see EA,UBIsoft, Activision not being hurt that much by it..samecan't be said for many other developers

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I never said it wasn't a difficult problem to solve; of course it is, that's why there isn't a good solution currently. I do think moderation is probably the best method at curbing this behavior, though I don't necessarily think mass recording players is a good idea. But companies should take a much more proactive approach to dealing with toxicity, which means more staff handling reports and bans for players who have multiple instances of this behavior.

 

[Deleted member 6215]

People act like that when they are anonymous on the internet, same with twitter and youtube comments.

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Even if anonymity was a factor (it's not), how does this address the problem being discussed?

 

[DevilMayGuy]

Jesus what scumbags.

 

[ShinySunny]

This is why I hate FPS so much.
2 decades of online FPS, and the audience hasn't change at all.
If I want to show what a degenerated gamer is, I just need to log onto CS and start speaking.
Within a random group of FPS gamers, there will either be a screamer, a whiner, a complainer, a sexist, or a racist.
And of course, within that group they will always use that lame one liner: Sucky, sucky, 5 dollars? remark without fail, Without Fail, when I turn on my mic to talk.
Even with OW and their "friendlier" playerbase, dumb asses would always comment on if I look like DVa or not or ask me to do her lines.

For female gamers, I believe MMO is a much friendlier online genre than any MP games out there.
I've played WoW for 10years, and people actually treat people with respect since everyone is a guildie or basically a friend/family.
The same goes to FF14 as well.

 

[AyaisMUsikWhore]

FFXIV is decent on that front. There are a lot of girls playing the game, and the playerbase seems older and more mature in general.

There are still assholes, but for the most part, if a girl shows up in your party, no one bats an eye.

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This is true. I've actually been very welcomed by that community by a bunch of coworkers plus strangers in the game. I've never ran into a bad person yet

 

[Brotherhood93]

I'm a guy and I hate playing online because of other people, fortunately I prefer single player games anyway. I can't imagine what it'd be like to be a woman and have your favourite games ruined by people like this.

 

[Ferrs]

This is why I hate FPS so much.
2 decades of online FPS, and the audience hasn't change at all.
If I want to show what a degenerated gamer is, I just need to log onto CS and start speaking.
Within a random group of FPS gamers, there will either be a screamer, a whiner, a complainer, a sexist, or a racist.
And of course, within that group they will always use that lame one liner: Sucky, sucky, 5 dollars? remark without fail, Without Fail, when I turn on my mic to talk.
Even with OW and their "friendlier" playerbase, dumb asses would always comment on if I look like DVa or not or ask me to do her lines.

For female gamers, I believe MMO is a much friendlier online genre than any MP games out there.
I've played WoW for 10years, and people actually treat people with respect since everyone is a guildie or basically a friend/family.
The same goes to FF14 as well.

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This is not only an exclusive thing about FPS, happens everywhere, MMO included. The more vile stuff I've read has been in B2P MMOs.

 

[Risky_Bigness]

When I was younger I had more patience to sass back and mute and report but now at 40 it just feels insurmountable. I no longer bother with any games or activities like raids that require voice chat. I play games to relax and to escape for a bit. I hate that I have to alter my behavior or completely opt-out of things I love to do but it's just not worth the stress.

 

[Stop It]

My partner received sexually explicit abuse on her 2nd day playing Bomberman Live.

The *second* day. I have never received such abuse.

Being a woman online is absolutely a worse experience than a man's, it's incontrovertible. And fucking disgusting. What gives anyone the right to abuse someone based on their gender. Nothing.

 

[Tahnit]

Generally yes, but i got some dude stalking me from that game. Also was called a "blue haired feminazi with a roast beef vagina" while in raid last time. not fun.

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Ugh

 

[Deleted member 42351]

The difference being that when you end that session the harassment goes away. Women don't get that luxury.

Also remember that when they're busy harassing you, at least they're not harassing her. Seems like a small price to pay for giving someone a respite from this bullshit.

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Finally an old school gentleman. Men can take it. We are brought up this way. Men harass and joke with each other all the time, it is how we bond. It should be no issue at all to be the one that absorbs that harassment so that women don't have to. I can brush off harassment and horrible comments because they just don't get to me. I get worse from my actual friends cause they actually know me. Good on you sir.

 

[Ketch]

This shit makes me so fucking angry.

The toxic bullshit ruins online multiplayer for me, and i'm seldom the target, I can't imagine how people who are targeted by this shit on a regular basis feel.

I honestly think a lot of it has to do with the fact that acting like this online will never result in getting punched in the face, and I think the solution is a ZERO tolerance moderation policy. Every report should be looked at, and any report with video/audio evidence that verifies the person is trash should result in the most thorough lifetime ban possible. Full stop.

If somebody sends video of you saying this shit to blizzard you should be banned from the game for life, no exceptions.

And it needs to happen quickly and on a regular basis

hire the people to do the moderation and make it happen

people need to know that there are real consequences for their bullshit

 

[Deleted member 27471]

You are missing the point, it doesn't matter whether or not this happens every time or even most times, it matters that it happened at all. It's unacceptable that this happens to anyone at any point.

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How is that missing the point? The point is all anyone has to do is start speaking up at the right time. Yes in the video of there wasn't anything she could have done in her own, but why does this conversation need to be about only one experience in one video, why do so many of you need to argue with the fact that ppl need to do more, do you like to just argue?

 

[Rowsdower]

This is why I don't play multiplayer. Or at least, why I never use voice chat.

Only time I'll play online is with my friend.

 

[Mesoian]

You act cool and counter whatever they say.
If it they fire back and it keeps going back and forth, ask calmly if they (teammates) want to win this game or bitch around.
If that still doesn't work, you can still mute the others.

Honestly, I think a lot of people shouting "kill yourself" would shut up if you'd just go ahead with something like "why don't you try it first?". Harsh, but there's no reason not to be harsh to people telling you to kys.

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This has never worked in this history of video games. Jesus christ.

Do you even know what Trolling is?

 

[Era of not Yakuza]

"So people are Dumb, Deal with that"

Some comments here... If pretending not being a women is the solution, pretending not being black would solve racism ?

 

[Mesoian]

"Xbox record that"
I mean does MS not accept video proof of the harrass to?

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They actually don't, as there's no where to submit such harrassment to. You'd have to post something similar to the video in OP on social media and hope action is taken AND hope that said social media doesn't decide to go after you due to "harassment".

We have no good solutions and publishers don't care so no money will be spent on a solution.

Ever.

 

[andymcc]

Are these guys the same people that used to pull girls' hair in primary school?

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They were probably scared of getting cooties.

 

[chasingclouds]

I honestly have so much respect for any girls who still play multiplayer despite all this shit, because it totally puts me trying to be social online in general. I gave up with it a long time ago. I find it all genuinely distressing, and I'm very non-confrontational, I just want to enjoy games without being harassed. Sadly the only way to do that has been to hide being female. My gamertag is deliberately non-girly. I no longer ever use voice chat. I completely avoid online MP whenever possible. I find that guys will assume I'm a guy based on my game history/playstyle and I never correct them. Games like Far Cry where they force you to play MP to get all the achievements I often just use a male character to save myself hassle. I actually hated when Microsoft added avatars because people could see mine was female vs my gamerpic. Sadly my experience is that the guy who is completely accepting of you (as a female) playing with them, is the minority.

I don't honestly know how it can be solved. The issue is guys thinking it's ok to treat women as inferior, and it's unfortunately still endemic in real life as much as it is online.

 

[NoName999]

Gamers: Why isn't our hobby taken seriously?

Also Gamers: *These vids. Some of these responses*

So much for Era being "enlightened"

 

[ShinySunny]

This is not only an exclusive thing about FPS, happens everywhere, MMO included. The more vile stuff I've read has been in B2P MMOs.

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I am speaking from my 10yrs experiences.
Maybe yours is different.
But WoW/FF14 when I was in a guild, no one would treat people like that.
You would get instantly kicked out or never be invited to the raid.
Ironically, most big guilds have a Code of Conducts for this type of stuff.
MMO is more progressive than whatever "happening" around the online gaming community.

 

[Stryder]

Yeah my girlfriend was attempting to platinum Last of Us but gave up when it came to the online trophies because of toxicity like this.

 

[Dead Guy]

This kind of shit is why I don't play any multiplayer with randos anymore. I remember how disgusting cod got back in the day and even when I was in highschool it was repulsive

 

[Mesoian]

Are these guys the same people that used to pull girls' hair in primary school?

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These are the guys who bashfully look away when confronted with a girl in real life, then get on the internet and talk about how all women are bitches while simultaneously crying about why they can't get a girlfriend.

This kind of shit is why I don't play any multiplayer with randos anymore. I remember how disgusting cod got back in the day and even when I was in highschool it was repulsive

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Hell is overwatch randos. You wanna see some toxic shit? Try comp during a free weekend.

It's why I hate free weekends on OW. Everyone's acting their worst because everyone makes new accounts that are disposable so even in the highly unlikely chance they get banned, it doesn't matter.

If there wasn't an event going on right now, I'd probably skip this weekend to play OW entirely. It's gonna be shit.

 

[Duxxy3]

Would public voice chat removal fix this?

 

[JayBabay]

That must be super annoying to deal with, especially if it happens regularly. Commend her for not losing focus through all that.

 

[Weltall Zero]

Finally an old school gentleman. Men can take it. We are brought up this way. Men harass and joke with each other all the time, it is how we bond. It should be no issue at all to be the one that absorbs that harassment so that women don't have to. I can brush off harassment and horrible comments because they just don't get to me. I get worse from my actual friends cause they actually know me. Good on you sir.

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I'm assuming this is sarcasm (hard to tell, as there are actually a lot of men that actually think like this), but that's not what I'm saying at all. If someone is shat upon 24/7, and you can give them a respite from that for a few minutes, I don't think it's asking too much to show some empathy and do it. It doesn't matter if they're a woman, or black, or gay, or transgender, or any other similarly stupid reason why people shit on them; they have to deal with that every day, so I'm sure it won't kill you, as a member of the single most privileged group on the face of the Earth, to stand together with them against that abuse for a few minutes. There's nothing heroic or extraordinary aboit extending a hand to those in a far worse situation than you; it's simple, basic human decency.

Empathetically, this is not about "us men can take it". I have the firm conviction that if men magically and suddenly started to have to deal with what women do everyday, they would break far sooner than them.

 

[jem]

I hope the "I hope you die" comment at the end was directed at the cunt making the shitty comments but I have a feeling that's not the case...

 

[Unclebenny]

No abuse is accepted no matter the form. Stop talking like if I'm supporting them ffs! I've been patient and explaining yet you still think that I'm empowering those idiots. Give me a solution then! Developers aren't doing anything let alone what can we do about it?! It is a real problem and I'm still waiting for a solution if you have one.

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I've detailed why the stance you are taking isn't helping. I'm not just going to repeat myself. You don't have to agree but don't ignore what I've written.

I also mentioned a way in which you can help, be vocal. Stand against anyone you hear doing that. They need to know it is not acceptable. Certainly reporting is a good step but we have no idea how effective that is.

 

[Heid]

This is just... sad

Like so many guys have just never heard a womans voice before

 

[-PXG-]

Nobody talks in game chat on Destiny 2, thank goodness. Everyone is in party chat. Players on LFG are typically more concerned about in game stats and getting shit done, above everything else. So being an unpleasant asshole doesn't help. That just gets the whole group tilted anyway. Occasionally you'll find a racist or sexist douche, but they're typically awful, uncooperative players too, go figure. So naturally, they get kicked, blocked and reported without hesitation.

 

[Menx64]

I'm seeing a disconnect, all right.



So people who play games you don't approve of are the ones at fault and should be harassed? Thanks for the empathy.
Also a suggestion; if a sentence forms in your mind that starts with "nobody should be harassed because of who they are, but...", perhaps don't complete the thought, or at least don't commit it to written form.

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I agree I wrote that incorrectly. I did not mean that you have to bear that behavior for playing those games, but that people who play those games see violence as fun and that is weird to me.

It is not just shooting games. Any game that keeps score in some way is plagued by such behavior. I would encourage you to go to closest park near you and watch, or better yet play, a couple of hours of pickup basketball (really any team sport). There will be a ton shittalking (not just the typical trashtalking) that crosses the line there as well.

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You are correct. I was talking about violence in these games, but some people are just a-holes in real life as well.

 

[Mesoian]

Would public voice chat removal fix this?

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Nope. Public chat would still be just as bad.

 

[Deleted member 27471]

Thanks for literally pulling statistics out of your asshole rather than challenge your preconceptions that the situation might, indeed, be that bad. I would direct you to watch the Overwatch video above which has a couple dozen instances of men acting like that to women with zero other men calling them out, but I'm sure you'll also dismiss them all as cherry-picking.

Please continue to tell yourself that these are all black swan events in a sea of kindness and empathy, so that you can sleep better at night. Wouldn't want you to be upset or change your way of thinking just because women are being literally harassed out of games.

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Lol, I'm literally acknowledging the issue and telling you and all the others including myself need to be active in stepping in. How is that hard for you to understand? U keep arguing likes "its fucking hopeless, there is no point because there is just to many of them whaaaa!"

The world can be a shit place, so if you dont like it, do your damn part and stop arguing with someone who agrees there's a problem.

And if the gaming community is that toxic that 98% (like you make it sound) of games being played are by assholes where the fuck does everyone here including you fit in?

 

[SatelliteOfLove]

I've had to call out people I used to play with often cause they pull shit like this. Staying silent is staying complicit

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^^^
And these in the first tweet are the endless, clumsy end of the spectrum.

Ive played with this woman for 10 years and heard her speak TWELVE times.

 

[Vipu]

Alternative title: People are shit

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I agree with this, net is full of shit people no matter what game or time, better just mute them if possible.
Im not female and im not trying to say that its the same problem for males and females (no ban plz!) but after 5000h of dota I have seen pretty much every kind of toxic behavior and I just muted all voice/chat, focused just to my own game and it was never problem again.

 

[Kayotix]

My wife dealt with this shit constantly was even worse if she ever talked....

She basically stopped playing MP games on xbox/PS. It's a sad state of affairs when people have to deal with this shit.

 

[Bundy]

One of the reasons why almost all of my female friends are only playing singleplayer games.... is this :(
They do not want to deal with this BS.

 

[Duxxy3]

Nope. Public chat would still be just as bad.

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But at least text chat is something that can more easily be moderated.

 

[Deleted member 11986]

Disgusting that some men seek some kind of validation to harass women just because they are women. And they still think they're proud of themselves by doing that.