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Lack of space for socialising is a real problem these days

Sheentak

Member
Oct 25, 2017
464
Been thinking about how the lack of space for socialisation is a real problem in current times. Recently had a issue where my friends and I wanted to hang out but we had no where to go. we are all in our mid to late twenty somethings living in a major city but we have no where to really socialise. This is quite a problem for our generation. I wonder if it contributes to feeling lonely. Especially as fall and winter is coming so hanging outside is becoming less viable.

We all live in bedrooms with roommates we barely know where we can't really brinf a group over. Like bars, coffee shops are options but we just kinda wanted to chill and not have to spend money. Plus not everyone is comfortable in bars.

Growing up living with our parents it was common for us to just jam at somebodies house all day,l even in college! But now our living situations is not ideal for socialising. I literally live in a bedroom in a house with no common room. Even bringing partners home isn't always ideal due to lack of space.
My parents would invite there friends over all the time yet I can't as my living situation prevents that. Just been thinking about this lately how mellinials and zoomers as a adults lack space.
 

TaySan

Member
Dec 10, 2018
4,877
More and more millennials nowadays have no choice, but to live with their parents. Myself included and things will only get worse as cost of living continues to increase
 
OP
OP
Sheentak

Sheentak

Member
Oct 25, 2017
464
have you and your friends rent a house together?
Not viable people having partners, I wouldn't want to nessacarily live with all my friends as sometimes a good friend is a terrible room mate. Also just locations some people live in part of a city as its close to work.

It's just a general observation of lacking social spaces
 

Dyle

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
8,500
Wisconsin
It's funny how that happens since statistically we have more living space available to us today in the U.S. than ever, it just isn't distributed in a useful way. But I agree, personally there's no where for someone like me to hang out and meet people or to bring them. Bars and coffee shops suck and there are no real lounge spaces outside of college campuses
 
Oct 26, 2017
9,594
Not viable people having partners, I wouldn't want to nessacarily live with all my friends as sometimes a good friend is a terrible room mate. Also just locations some people live in part of a city as its close to work.

It's just a general observation of lacking social spaces
but all of you live in bedrooms with roommates you do not know. it shouldn't matter if your friends have partners cause they live with strangers too. so wouldn't it be better to live together as friends and not with strangers?
 

Cow Mengde

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,661
Hmmm... you have a point there.

The worse part about bars is that they're noisy, so I don't think they're all that great for conversations either.
 

Fulminator

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,495
I agree that there should be more open public spaces where people can just go and chill. It’s something I’ve thought about many times before.

I mean there's a reason why suburbs exist.
The suburbs suffer from this problem even more than cities, and sometimes you wanna do things outside of the house
 

samoyed

Member
Oct 26, 2017
9,974
You're noticing that urban spaces were never really designed to foster non-consumerist socializing. There's parks but nothing quite adequate for indoors activities.

I think cities should start expanding their libraries' services to providing meeting spaces, free of charge, or with a deposit to guard against vandalism.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,075
Yokohama, Japan
Does the area where you live have board game shops or board game cafes? Those usually have tables where you can just hang out while playing a game for cheap.

Maybe say what city you're in and someone can recommend some places.
 

texhnolyze

Member
Oct 25, 2017
12,661
Indonesia
Yeah, I get what you're saying, OP.

Yes, there are bars, cafes, and public parks, but they're not exactly private and not really comfortable for just chilling. Hanging out in a friend's house was one of the best memories in my younger days.
 

Jubbe

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,469
I've been to plenty of social gatherings at share houses. Sometimes the roommates join in and meet new people, other times they hide in their rooms or go out. I don't really see the issue. Also not really sure how this is a generational issue. Have free, public, indoor spaces for socialising with friends ever been a thing?
 
OP
OP
Sheentak

Sheentak

Member
Oct 25, 2017
464
You're noticing that urban spaces were never really designed to foster non-consumerist socializing. There's parks but nothing quite adequate for indoors activities.

I think cities should start expanding their libraries' services to providing meeting spaces, free of charge, or with a deposit to guard against vandalism.
This is a more elqeunt way to say what I meant.
 

samoyed

Member
Oct 26, 2017
9,974
Have free, public indoor spaces for socialising with friends ever been a thing?
I think the disconnect comes from:

In your childhood (and presumably OP's childhood), you'd do these things at people's homes, but most young adults today cannot afford their own homes, and so cannot host gatherings.
 

Titik

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,003
Yeah, other countries and cultures have a lively plaza/piazza/city center where you are encouraged to loiter and spend a lot of time in.

Here in the US, you have parks but many are closed at night and loitering is even illegal. Yup, just hanging out on the street or a place of business is illegal.
 

Jubbe

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,469
I think the disconnect comes from:

In your childhood (and presumably OP's childhood), you'd do these things at people's homes, but most young adults today cannot afford homes, and so cannot host gatherings.
I guess that just isn't my experience. Like I said, I've been to many social gatherings/parties at share houses or one bedroom apartments and it's never been an issue.
 

Dongs Macabre

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,172
Is there a coffee shop nearby where you can sit on couches and talk indefinitely about your latest escapades?
 

Blue Skies

Member
Mar 27, 2019
1,964
Yea I grew up in the suburbs and we all just liked getting fucked up, it’s how we socialized. We were rural adjacent and knew many people with basically daily ongoing house parties in their secluded homes.

Now I’m trying to be a bit more sober in life.. where the hell should we go lol
 

Ether_Snake

Member
Oct 29, 2017
4,877
Learn to skate, skateboard. Or play basketball or soccer. Or if there are some biking trails do that. Or indoor climbing. Or maybe grab a chess board and go play somewhere in a park.

But yeah unless you have a backyard or a balcony to yourself your options are limited. People who say living in the suburbs would be lonely: you would drive or they would drive to your place and you’d have the space indoor or outdoor to enjoy yourselves. Different income implications though, more the kind of thing you do once you have a family but then you’d likely bring the family over unless you go fishing or something.
 

Border

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,609
You can go to a bar, coffee shop, pool hall, or other semi-public space. How is this different from any other generation? Nobody has to spend any huge amount of money to get into places like that.

You can also go to a public park, just as easily.
 

Squarehard

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,793
I feel the title is a bit misleading, as there seems to be a more focused conversation to be had, but everyone is just responding directly to the title, and not the actual content in the first post.
 

TheMadTitan

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,581
I've been saying this for awhile; it's why I wish more apartment complexes were designed like senior living complexes or dorms. Both of those have shared living spaces as well, and at least with senior complexes, there's things like community libraries and kitchen/dining areas.

People of all ages could benefit from shit like this.
 

LegendofJoe

Member
Oct 28, 2017
5,417
Arkansas, USA
I've been saying this for awhile; it's why I wish more apartment complexes were designed like senior living complexes or dorms. Both of those have shared living spaces as well, and at least with senior complexes, there's things like community libraries and kitchen/dining areas.

People of all ages could benefit from shit like this.
I'd love to see in an agrihood like some of the examples below:

 

killerrin

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,833
Toronto
Our group doesn't have too hard of a time. We're all Mid-twenties and we'll mix it up between Escape Rooms, Mini Golf, Glow Golf, Board Game Nights, DnD and just going out for Dinner (Korean BBQ, Sushi, Wings/Burgers/Fries after work Friday Nights). We also take advantage of when special events or festivals are in town (Tip: If you search "What to do in CITY this weekend" you'll get results). We've almost done movies a couple times, and i'm still pushing for Laser Tag.

Point being, there is a bunch of stuff to be had for cheap if you look around. Your group just has to act on them and not fall into the trap of not being able to do something because "its for kids".
 

Allforce

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,704
Most bars are kind of not the ideal venue for any meaningful socialization...
The vast MAJORITY of bars are essentially a bar, some tables, and maybe TVs that are playing a game or something. Do you only hang out at night clubs or something?

Like I could meet up at about 14 different bars right now within a few miles from my house and sit down and have a conversation for hours. And I live in the suburbs. In a "major city" you probably have 10x the options...
 

Ether_Snake

Member
Oct 29, 2017
4,877
I've been saying this for awhile; it's why I wish more apartment complexes were designed like senior living complexes or dorms. Both of those have shared living spaces as well, and at least with senior complexes, there's things like community libraries and kitchen/dining areas.

People of all ages could benefit from shit like this.
Condo owners would vote to not pay for them because they don’t use them and especially if they can convert the spaces to units they could sell to use the money to pay off tax bills or maintenance.
 

Middleman

Member
Jun 14, 2019
620
Go to a park, play some pickup ball, go for a walk, to a public pool.

This really just sounds like a millennial whinge.
 

SecondVariety

Member
Oct 29, 2017
64
One point I will add to this is that if you think your options are bad now, it was not all that long ago the smoking was allowed (and extremely popular) in bars and clubs, etc. in the US. Further back it was even restaurants. Going into a bar in the early 2000's for an hour or so was a sure way to saturate your body, clothes, and hair with smoke.
But yes, more chill place to hang with people would be good, though I always thought it was worse for teenagers.
 

travisbickle

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,705
You can obviously find somewhere nice that fits your needs in a city, hospitality is the largest growing sector. Look around more.

And fucking buy a drink to support the place because I hate to burst your bubble but someone was spending money when you were chilling at a friend’s house all day, just because it wasn’t you doesn’t mean it was free.
 

riotous

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,342
Seattle
I don’t get it; when I was young and broke people lived with friends. All it takes is 2 people from a group of friends to live in an apartment together and boom hangout spot for all.

We had various spots, different peoples apartments, at points groups of us rented houses together, etc.
 

samoyed

Member
Oct 26, 2017
9,974
I don’t get it; when I was young and broke people lived with friends. All it takes is 2 people from a group of friends to live in an apartment together and boom hangout spot for all.
I get the feeling the OP and his friends don't live with friends and they don't want to crowd their roommates with their gatherings.
 

riotous

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,342
Seattle
I get the feeling the OP and his friends don't live with friends and they don't want to crowd their roommates with their gatherings.
Yes, he said as much.

Point being, wtf does this have to do with the time we are living?

Bunch of people rooming with strangers don’t have a place to hang out; solution is to live together, refusing to do so has nothing to do with the time we live in lol
 

Middleman

Member
Jun 14, 2019
620
You can obviously find somewhere nice that fits your needs in a city, hospitality is the largest growing sector. Look around more.

And fucking buy a drink to support the place because I hate to burst your bubble but someone was spending money when you were chilling at a friend’s house all day, just because it wasn’t you doesn’t mean it was free.
Yeah, the incredulity that there aren’t an abundance of chill, private, relaxed, indoor spaces for socialisation that cost absolutely zero is strange.
 

FUME5

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,914
Go to the park? The river? The beach? Likely there's an open space in your city with a big screen that is meant for community gatherings?

Anyway, you don't lack space compared to previous generations, if anything you have more options.