Lack of space for socialising is a real problem these days

Sheentak · Sep 10, 2019

Been thinking about how the lack of space for socialisation is a real problem in current times. Recently had a issue where my friends and I wanted to hang out but we had no where to go. we are all in our mid to late twenty somethings living in a major city but we have no where to really socialise. This is quite a problem for our generation. I wonder if it contributes to feeling lonely. Especially as fall and winter is coming so hanging outside is becoming less viable.

We all live in bedrooms with roommates we barely know where we can't really brinf a group over. Like bars, coffee shops are options but we just kinda wanted to chill and not have to spend money. Plus not everyone is comfortable in bars.

Growing up living with our parents it was common for us to just jam at somebodies house all day,l even in college! But now our living situations is not ideal for socialising. I literally live in a bedroom in a house with no common room. Even bringing partners home isn't always ideal due to lack of space.
My parents would invite there friends over all the time yet I can't as my living situation prevents that. Just been thinking about this lately how mellinials and zoomers as a adults lack space.

subpar spatula · Sep 10, 2019

have you and your friends rent a house together?

TaySan · Sep 10, 2019

More and more millennials nowadays have no choice, but to live with their parents. Myself included and things will only get worse as cost of living continues to increase

Sunster · Sep 10, 2019

TaySan said:
More and more millennials nowadays have no choice, but to live with their parents. Myself included and things will only get worse as cost of living continues to increase

it's all good though cause with trump, freedom is on the rise as well.

Pelicano · Sep 10, 2019

It's called the bar.

Sheentak · Sep 10, 2019

subpar spatula said:
have you and your friends rent a house together?

Not viable people having partners, I wouldn't want to nessacarily live with all my friends as sometimes a good friend is a terrible room mate. Also just locations some people live in part of a city as its close to work.

It's just a general observation of lacking social spaces

Dyle · Sep 10, 2019

It's funny how that happens since statistically we have more living space available to us today in the U.S. than ever, it just isn't distributed in a useful way. But I agree, personally there's no where for someone like me to hang out and meet people or to bring them. Bars and coffee shops suck and there are no real lounge spaces outside of college campuses

subpar spatula · Sep 10, 2019

Sheentak said:
Not viable people having partners, I wouldn't want to nessacarily live with all my friends as sometimes a good friend is a terrible room mate. Also just locations some people live in part of a city as its close to work.

It's just a general observation of lacking social spaces

but all of you live in bedrooms with roommates you do not know. it shouldn't matter if your friends have partners cause they live with strangers too. so wouldn't it be better to live together as friends and not with strangers?

BringBackSonics · Sep 10, 2019

Unless the bar or the coffee house has a 'per hour spending' rule, I mean there is your spot.

Cream Stout · Sep 10, 2019

Pelicano said:
It's called the bar.

Did you read the OP

Cow Mengde · Sep 10, 2019

Hmmm... you have a point there.

The worse part about bars is that they're noisy, so I don't think they're all that great for conversations either.

LOLDSFAN · Sep 10, 2019

Sheentak said:
we are all in our mid to late twenty somethings living in a major city

Sheentak said:
But now our living situations is not ideal

I mean there's a reason why suburbs exist.

Fulminator · Sep 10, 2019

I agree that there should be more open public spaces where people can just go and chill. It's something I've thought about many times before.

LOLDSFAN said:
I mean there's a reason why suburbs exist.

The suburbs suffer from this problem even more than cities, and sometimes you wanna do things outside of the house

¡ B 0 0 P ! · Sep 10, 2019

Fulminator said:
I agree that there should be more open public spaces where people can just go and chill. It's something I've thought about many times before.

The suburbs suffer from this problem even more than cities, and sometimes you wanna do things outside of the house

Yep. Suburbs are a lonely place. Everyone lives far away from each other and local hangout spots.

samoyed · Sep 10, 2019

You're noticing that urban spaces were never really designed to foster non-consumerist socializing. There's parks but nothing quite adequate for indoors activities.

I think cities should start expanding their libraries' services to providing meeting spaces, free of charge, or with a deposit to guard against vandalism.

CeramicDragon · Sep 10, 2019

You need to go to Central Perk, Cheers bar where everyone knows your name, Diner in Seinfeld.

WhoaIsThatMars · Sep 10, 2019

Does the area where you live have board game shops or board game cafes? Those usually have tables where you can just hang out while playing a game for cheap.

Maybe say what city you're in and someone can recommend some places.

texhnolyze · Sep 10, 2019

Yeah, I get what you're saying, OP.

Yes, there are bars, cafes, and public parks, but they're not exactly private and not really comfortable for just chilling. Hanging out in a friend's house was one of the best memories in my younger days.

samoyed · Sep 10, 2019

WhoaIsThatMars said:
Does the area where you live have board game shops or board game cafes? Those usually have tables where you can just hang out while playing a game for cheap.

These places usually cost money (I think?) and the OP mentioned he doesn't want to pay.

Jubbe · Sep 10, 2019

I've been to plenty of social gatherings at share houses. Sometimes the roommates join in and meet new people, other times they hide in their rooms or go out. I don't really see the issue. Also not really sure how this is a generational issue. Have free, public, indoor spaces for socialising with friends ever been a thing?

Sheentak · Sep 10, 2019

samoyed said:
You're noticing that urban spaces were never really designed to foster non-consumerist socializing. There's parks but nothing quite adequate for indoors activities.

I think cities should start expanding their libraries' services to providing meeting spaces, free of charge, or with a deposit to guard against vandalism.

This is a more elqeunt way to say what I meant.

samoyed · Sep 10, 2019

Jubbe said:
Have free, public indoor spaces for socialising with friends ever been a thing?

I think the disconnect comes from:

In your childhood (and presumably OP's childhood), you'd do these things at people's homes, but most young adults today cannot afford their own homes, and so cannot host gatherings.

WhoaIsThatMars · Sep 10, 2019

samoyed said:
These places usually cost money (I think?) and the OP mentioned he doesn't want to pay.

And I mentioned for cheap. I read the OP

Kyuur · Sep 10, 2019

Smells like nostalgia.

Titik · Sep 10, 2019

Yeah, other countries and cultures have a lively plaza/piazza/city center where you are encouraged to loiter and spend a lot of time in.

Here in the US, you have parks but many are closed at night and loitering is even illegal. Yup, just hanging out on the street or a place of business is illegal.

Jubbe · Sep 10, 2019

samoyed said:
I think the disconnect comes from:

In your childhood (and presumably OP's childhood), you'd do these things at people's homes, but most young adults today cannot afford homes, and so cannot host gatherings.

I guess that just isn't my experience. Like I said, I've been to many social gatherings/parties at share houses or one bedroom apartments and it's never been an issue.

Dongs Macabre · Sep 10, 2019

Is there a coffee shop nearby where you can sit on couches and talk indefinitely about your latest escapades?

Soliloquy of a Dogge · Sep 10, 2019

Pelicano said:
It's called the bar.

Most bars are kind of not the ideal venue for any meaningful socialization...

Blue Skies · Sep 10, 2019

Yea I grew up in the suburbs and we all just liked getting fucked up, it's how we socialized. We were rural adjacent and knew many people with basically daily ongoing house parties in their secluded homes.

Now I'm trying to be a bit more sober in life.. where the hell should we go lol

Ether_Snake · Sep 10, 2019

Learn to skate, skateboard. Or play basketball or soccer. Or if there are some biking trails do that. Or indoor climbing. Or maybe grab a chess board and go play somewhere in a park.

But yeah unless you have a backyard or a balcony to yourself your options are limited. People who say living in the suburbs would be lonely: you would drive or they would drive to your place and you'd have the space indoor or outdoor to enjoy yourselves. Different income implications though, more the kind of thing you do once you have a family but then you'd likely bring the family over unless you go fishing or something.

LegendofJoe · Sep 10, 2019

Craft breweries are the bars of our generation.

Border · Sep 10, 2019

You can go to a bar, coffee shop, pool hall, or other semi-public space. How is this different from any other generation? Nobody has to spend any huge amount of money to get into places like that.

You can also go to a public park, just as easily.

Blue Skies · Sep 10, 2019

LegendofJoe said:
Craft breweries are the bars of our generation.

But what if I don't have a beard

Squarehard · Sep 10, 2019

I feel the title is a bit misleading, as there seems to be a more focused conversation to be had, but everyone is just responding directly to the title, and not the actual content in the first post.

LegendofJoe · Sep 10, 2019

Blue Skies said:
But what if I don't have a beard

Then grow one, lol

TheMadTitan · Sep 10, 2019

I've been saying this for awhile; it's why I wish more apartment complexes were designed like senior living complexes or dorms. Both of those have shared living spaces as well, and at least with senior complexes, there's things like community libraries and kitchen/dining areas.

People of all ages could benefit from shit like this.

WhoaIsThatMars · Sep 10, 2019

Soliloquy of a Dogge said:
Most bars are kind of not the ideal venue for any meaningful socialization...

What kind of bars do you go to?

Soliloquy of a Dogge · Sep 10, 2019

WhoaIsThatMars said:
What kind of bars do you go to?

Noisy ones filled with obnoxious assholes.

LegendofJoe · Sep 10, 2019

TheMadTitan said:
I've been saying this for awhile; it's why I wish more apartment complexes were designed like senior living complexes or dorms. Both of those have shared living spaces as well, and at least with senior complexes, there's things like community libraries and kitchen/dining areas.

People of all ages could benefit from shit like this.

I'd love to see in an agrihood like some of the examples below:

https://charterforcompassion.org/sh...ihoods-taking-farm-to-table-living-mainstream

killerrin · Sep 10, 2019

Our group doesn't have too hard of a time. We're all Mid-twenties and we'll mix it up between Escape Rooms, Mini Golf, Glow Golf, Board Game Nights, DnD and just going out for Dinner (Korean BBQ, Sushi, Wings/Burgers/Fries after work Friday Nights). We also take advantage of when special events or festivals are in town (Tip: If you search "What to do in CITY this weekend" you'll get results). We've almost done movies a couple times, and i'm still pushing for Laser Tag.

Point being, there is a bunch of stuff to be had for cheap if you look around. Your group just has to act on them and not fall into the trap of not being able to do something because "its for kids".

Allforce · Sep 10, 2019

Soliloquy of a Dogge said:
Most bars are kind of not the ideal venue for any meaningful socialization...

The vast MAJORITY of bars are essentially a bar, some tables, and maybe TVs that are playing a game or something. Do you only hang out at night clubs or something?

Like I could meet up at about 14 different bars right now within a few miles from my house and sit down and have a conversation for hours. And I live in the suburbs. In a "major city" you probably have 10x the options...

Ether_Snake · Sep 10, 2019

TheMadTitan said:
I've been saying this for awhile; it's why I wish more apartment complexes were designed like senior living complexes or dorms. Both of those have shared living spaces as well, and at least with senior complexes, there's things like community libraries and kitchen/dining areas.

People of all ages could benefit from shit like this.

Condo owners would vote to not pay for them because they don't use them and especially if they can convert the spaces to units they could sell to use the money to pay off tax bills or maintenance.

Middleman · Sep 10, 2019

Go to a park, play some pickup ball, go for a walk, to a public pool.

This really just sounds like a millennial whinge.

SecondVariety · Sep 10, 2019

One point I will add to this is that if you think your options are bad now, it was not all that long ago the smoking was allowed (and extremely popular) in bars and clubs, etc. in the US. Further back it was even restaurants. Going into a bar in the early 2000's for an hour or so was a sure way to saturate your body, clothes, and hair with smoke.
But yes, more chill place to hang with people would be good, though I always thought it was worse for teenagers.

travisbickle · Sep 11, 2019

You can obviously find somewhere nice that fits your needs in a city, hospitality is the largest growing sector. Look around more.

And fucking buy a drink to support the place because I hate to burst your bubble but someone was spending money when you were chilling at a friend's house all day, just because it wasn't you doesn't mean it was free.

riotous · Sep 11, 2019

I don't get it; when I was young and broke people lived with friends. All it takes is 2 people from a group of friends to live in an apartment together and boom hangout spot for all.

We had various spots, different peoples apartments, at points groups of us rented houses together, etc.

samoyed · Sep 11, 2019

riotous said:
I don't get it; when I was young and broke people lived with friends. All it takes is 2 people from a group of friends to live in an apartment together and boom hangout spot for all.

I get the feeling the OP and his friends don't live with friends and they don't want to crowd their roommates with their gatherings.

riotous · Sep 11, 2019

samoyed said:
I get the feeling the OP and his friends don't live with friends and they don't want to crowd their roommates with their gatherings.

Yes, he said as much.

Point being, wtf does this have to do with the time we are living?

Bunch of people rooming with strangers don't have a place to hang out; solution is to live together, refusing to do so has nothing to do with the time we live in lol

Middleman · Sep 11, 2019

travisbickle said:
You can obviously find somewhere nice that fits your needs in a city, hospitality is the largest growing sector. Look around more.

And fucking buy a drink to support the place because I hate to burst your bubble but someone was spending money when you were chilling at a friend's house all day, just because it wasn't you doesn't mean it was free.

Yeah, the incredulity that there aren't an abundance of chill, private, relaxed, indoor spaces for socialisation that cost absolutely zero is strange.

FUME5 · Sep 11, 2019

Go to the park? The river? The beach? Likely there's an open space in your city with a big screen that is meant for community gatherings?

Anyway, you don't lack space compared to previous generations, if anything you have more options.

Lack of space for socialising is a real problem these days

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