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LGBTQera |ERA1| (We're Queer)

Oct 25, 2017
2,296
Speaking of Gay Rights;


Uncertainty grips gay people in Taiwan as same-sex marriage goes to the vote
When the country’s highest court ruled the civil code’s definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman was unconstitutional, it gave parliament two years to legislate on same-sex unions and set Taiwan on the path to become the first nation in Asia to legalise gay marriage.

However, progress on implementing the law stalled following inaction from the ruling Democratic Progressive party and a groundswell of opposition by an anti-gay movement driven by huge financial support from conservative and Christian backers.
Sigh, I hope things works out for the best.
 
Oct 27, 2017
437
Congratulations. Remembering to live your life for yourself is extremely important and something I think more people should keep in mind.
Congratulations.

Your sister is right. You only have one life and you gotta live for you. Be happy.
First off, congratulations on coming out to your family! It takes measurable amounts of courage to do so. Your mom and sisters reactions are wonderful as your fathers is typical I feel. Regardless of his short sighted opinion, there is nothing wrong with you. Though ignorance can be cured, unlike being gay. He'll come around eventually.

Wishing you the best and live your best life possible. Live for you and only you, and make YOU happy before everyone else. This is your time to live your truth.
Thanks guys. I take these words to heart. <3
 
OP
OP
Sai

Sai

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,769
Chicago
gay insta is wayyyyy too many dudes all posting the same variations of pics at fire island with the hashtags #gayfireisland #gaylife #gaytravel #gayabs #gayinspo #gayfit #gaygym #gaybeach #travelgay #speedos etc etc

it's...annoying to say the least
 

RatskyWatsky

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,669
gay insta is wayyyyy too many dudes all posting the same variations of pics at fire island with the hashtags #gayfireisland #gaylife #gaytravel #gayabs #gayinspo #gayfit #gaygym #gaybeach #travelgay #speedos etc etc

it's...annoying to say the least
^^^^^^^
 
Oct 27, 2017
370
Detroit, MI
I had my first threesome this morning, it was overrated.
Probably because the other two were bi tops and no interaction between those two.
Wait, you mean that they had no interaction with each other? Not even kissing or anything like that?

And gay insta is usually really good, but the hashtag vomit does indeed need to be curbed lol.
 
Oct 26, 2017
2,515
gay insta is wayyyyy too many dudes all posting the same variations of pics at fire island with the hashtags #gayfireisland #gaylife #gaytravel #gayabs #gayinspo #gayfit #gaygym #gaybeach #travelgay #speedos etc etc

it's...annoying to say the least
Due to the way Instagram works, it's unfortunately the most effective way to catch followers and show up on the Search & Explore page. Of course, none of that is actually important unless one's job involves social media in some aspect and page metrics actually mean money, so I think most gays are just copying what they see.

Hashtag dumps belong in the comment section only.
 
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Oct 29, 2017
45
Soooo I haven't really posted anything here, more of a lurker type lol. But, there's something that's bothering me and I'd rather not talk about it irl, annonimity suits me I guess.

I guess I'll introduce myself first. I'm a gay guy from a fairly conservative christian country, but I'm pretty open about being gay and there aren't many people that don't know about me. So, I'm pretty content about my life because I don't really have to pretend anymore and my family and friends are super ok with it. However, I've always been abnormally shy and extremely self-conscious about my body. It's not even that I'm overweight, it's just that I'm highly uncomfortable when someone sees me shirtless or something of the sort. And as expected, my insecurities started seeping into my love life, and I think I messed up something potentially really good.

So I've been seeing this guy for around two months. It's early stages but all in all I have the biggest crush on him and we seem to get along really well. However yesterday, we were making out and started to really get into it until he tried to take my shirt off and I said I'd rather keep it on. He was ok with it but I immediately started thinking about how stupid I was with being coy with him seeing me shirtless literally seconds after sucking him off lol. This led to me losing my sex drive and the entire thing leading to a giant cocktease. This isn't the first time this happened too, it was just that yesterday was especially uncomfortable since he seemed understandably pissed off. I've usually battled my anxiety with alcohol which helps me relax in sex, but he wants me to be sober and I think he might be even thinking that he's the problem, although I've said lots of times that this isn't the case. All in all, since this is still early stages, I think he's becoming fed up with me and that it will all go to waste and that's the last thing I want. But I don't really know what to do, our interactions today were super sriff and I think I can't really do anything but stand by and watch the relationship fall appart.

This isn't really me asking for advices, it's just that I have a habit of writting my frustrations down when I'm upset, and this thread always seemed super supportive, so I decided to give it a shot and vent my problems here.
 
Oct 26, 2017
1,030
Sleepwalker, you've been with him for two months. He is obviously attracted to you and your body. You don't have to be self-conscious around him.

Talk with him about your issues. If he is kind, he will understand and help you through your insecurities. Be transparent. If you are not satisfied with your body, try to hit the gym.
Also kinda agree with your boyfriend about the alcohol. You don't want to associate your sex life with that substance.

A relationship isn't all about sex. You are in this together. Help eachother become better persons. But you need to talk, identify the issues and work through them together.
 
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That sounds... uneventful. Did you know these guys or were they just random hookups?

Threesomes are usually much more engaging than that, in my experience. The best ones are when all 3 parties are really into each other.
I knew one guy ( the one who did some sucking), he found the other guy randomly on grindr because he really wanted to try a threesome. I guess if one of them was vers it would be much hotter.
 
Oct 29, 2017
45
Sleepwalker, you've been with him for two months. He is obviously attracted to you and your body. You don't have to be self-conscious around him.

Talk with him about your issues. If he is kind, he will understand and help you through your insecurities. Be transparent. If you are not satisfied with your body, try to hit the gym.
Also kinda agree with your boyfriend about the alcohol. You don't want to associate your sex life with that substance.

A relationship isn't all about sex. You are in this together. Help eachother become better persons. But you need to talk, identify the issues and work through them together.
Thanks for the advice! The thing is, we talked about it, and I'm not sure if he's prepared to deal with my shit since we aren't really anything serious yet, as it should be, I mean two months aren't really anything. It's more that I think that he is becoming tired of me complicating what shouldn't really be a problem. I mean it certainly won't be the end of the world if we break up now as opposed to years down the line when it's serious, it's just that I'm frustrated that I could potentially mess up something in such a stupid way at such an early stage, it makes me really afraid of how could I handle future relationships if this one comes to an end. It seems I need to do some personal growth and I'm not sure if he's willing to wait for me.

I dunno, this may all seem silly, but it's really getting to me. I sent him an extensive message explaining that I may need some time before I'm fully comfortable with fully exposing myself to him and that I understand if he's fed up. I guess it all boils down to how he responds.
 
OP
OP
Sai

Sai

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,769
Chicago
Due to the way Instagram works, it's unfortunately the most effective way to catch followers and show up on the Search & Explore page. Of course, none of that is actually important unless you're job involves social media in some aspect and page metrics actually mean money to you, so I think most gays are just copying what they see.

Hashtag dumps belong in the comment section only.
The gay dudes who post to make money or advertise stuff always all look the same too, with the same set of lily-white male friends. eugh

Edit: sleepwalker, all you can really do is be somewhat upfront about your self-consciousness in removing your shirt and ask for his patience. He’s obviously into you, but we all know that never stops us from doubting ourselves. But it’s a good thing to remind yourself of when you’re feeling down on yourself, and maybe that will help you learn to relax a little more around him.
 

RatskyWatsky

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,669
However yesterday, we were making out and started to really get into it until he tried to take my shirt off and I said I'd rather keep it on. He was ok with it but I immediately started thinking about how stupid I was with being coy with him seeing me shirtless literally seconds after sucking him off lol.
Next time do it with the lights off!
 
Oct 25, 2017
449
Wish I had more gay friends in real life,, well ANY. Since leaving university it's so hard to meet other gay people easily! There's a gay climbing group in my city. Might join that as I've always wanted to do indoor climbing. lmao
 
That actually sounds ideal, honestly.
How so

Wish I had more gay friends in real life,, well ANY. Since leaving university it's so hard to meet other gay people easily! There's a gay climbing group in my city. Might join that as I've always wanted to do indoor climbing. lmao
I made a few gay friends from a Meetup gay boardgame group, then they introduced me to some other gay friends.
I think I now hangout with my gay friends much more than straight friends, like 80% vs 20%
 
Oct 25, 2017
449
How so



I made a few gay friends from a Meetup gay boardgame group, then they introduced me to some other gay friends.
I think I now hangout with my gay friends much more than straight friends, like 80% vs 20%
See a boardgame group would be soooo up my alley. I checked meetup out a year ago and it seemed generally dead. Might have another look now! Yeah guess it is all about finding a few friends then going from there to make more!
 
See a boardgame group would be soooo up my alley. I checked meetup out a year ago and it seemed generally dead. Might have another look now! Yeah guess it is all about finding a few friends then going from there to make more!
Don't search boardgame group, search LGBT groups and join those active ones that host board game sessions or other social activities.
My group hosts boardgame event once each month, picnic every two months, and occasionally escape room/laser tag/ice skating/hiking.
 
Oct 29, 2017
3,101
Is tinder a thing? I wanna get away from Grindr for something a little more relationship oriented but I dunno what else there is. Preferably match-based to cut down on unsolicited pushy messages.
 
Aug 4, 2018
581
California
So next month I see my boyfriend's family. First time I've met them, and despite being with my boyfriend for like... 5.5 years, it's only earlier this year they found out we weren't 'just friends.' Typical Texas family, bf was in the closet until this summer, you know how it goes.

So, uhh, any tips on meeting your same gender partner's family?
 
Oct 25, 2017
126
Good shout on the LGBT group thing, I'll probably need to find myself one of those after I move out of this oh so familiar small uni town in a few months.
Is tinder a thing? I wanna get away from Grindr for something a little more relationship oriented but I dunno what else there is. Preferably match-based to cut down on unsolicited pushy messages.
As a bi guy, I reckon it shows a pretty healthy mix of guys and gals but it's also the one dating app everyone uses in my area so ymmv.
So next month I see my boyfriend's family. First time I've met them, and despite being with my boyfriend for like... 5.5 years, it's only earlier this year they found out we weren't 'just friends.' Typical Texas family, bf was in the closet until this summer, you know how it goes.

So, uhh, any tips on meeting your same gender partner's family?
Nothing useful to add tbh, just wanted to say I hope it goes well <3
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,622
gay insta is wayyyyy too many dudes all posting the same variations of pics at fire island with the hashtags #gayfireisland #gaylife #gaytravel #gayabs #gayinspo #gayfit #gaygym #gaybeach #travelgay #speedos etc etc

it's...annoying to say the least
Should start following me. :) I'm at least interesting. I have succumbed to the hashtag dump though, although not those hashtags...
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,062
Canada
I've been unbanned hoorah!

In other news, I might have a boyfriend soon, my first boyfriend too :) been seeing this guy for a few weeks and he's super sweet and super hot :)
 
Oct 25, 2017
44
West Virginia
Ayyy fellow WV’ian! Yeah dating in WV is just dumb. Dating apps are just faceless profiles looking for a hookup, and it’s never particularly safe to talk to someone at a bar (at least in my experience). I’m actually in OH now but I frequently visit family in WV. Where I live now isn’t much better, lol. I’ve met a couple friends on Grindr and Growlr tho.
Oh someone else from WV. A rarity <3. I know I shouldn't expect much from West Virginia guys but its a serious train wreck. Granted everyone who is on dating apps in WV/MD have slept with one another or are incredibly creepy soooo I tend to just stay to myself.

Ohio isn't much better? I am losing faith haha. Wishing you the best though! Theres gotta be someone out there for all of us.
 
Oct 27, 2017
368
Seattle, WA
Is tinder a thing? I wanna get away from Grindr for something a little more relationship oriented but I dunno what else there is. Preferably match-based to cut down on unsolicited pushy messages.
Are you in a decently-sized city? Try OK Cupid. I've heard people complain that actual dating sites take too much time because they ask a lot of personality, career, and recreational input initially, but I mean, you're trying to get away from that impulsive, disposable aspect of hookup apps, so... put in the work. I went on quite a few very nice dates and eventually met my husband there.
 
Oct 29, 2017
3,101
Are you in a decently-sized city? Try OK Cupid. I've heard people complain that actual dating sites take too much time because they ask a lot of personality, career, and recreational input initially, but I mean, you're trying to get away from that impulsive, disposable aspect of hookup apps, so... put in the work. I went on quite a few very nice dates and eventually met my husband there.
I'm...not in a particularly decently-sized (or all that progressive) city, sadly. There's definitely an OKC "scene" but it's not huge. IDK, maybe that's all there is in my area, hard to tell.
 
Oct 25, 2017
876
Oh someone else from WV. A rarity <3. I know I shouldn't expect much from West Virginia guys but its a serious train wreck. Granted everyone who is on dating apps in WV/MD have slept with one another or are incredibly creepy soooo I tend to just stay to myself.

Ohio isn't much better? I am losing faith haha. Wishing you the best though! Theres gotta be someone out there for all of us.

Lol, right?? It’s a bummer cause I actually find the southern accent to be kinda nice, but alas.

I’ve heard Columbus has a pretty nice “scene”. I don’t spend too much time there, so I can’t personally say. The guys on Grindr and Growlr in NE Ohio tho are...yikes. Lol. Like I said I’ve met a few friends but no one I’d be interested in a real relationship with. I’m moving to NC soon so maybe better luck there lol
 
Oct 26, 2017
2,515
Lol, right?? It’s a bummer cause I actually find the southern accent to be kinda nice, but alas.

I’ve heard Columbus has a pretty nice “scene”. I don’t spend too much time there, so I can’t personally say. The guys on Grindr and Growlr in NE Ohio tho are...yikes. Lol. Like I said I’ve met a few friends but no one I’d be interested in a real relationship with. I’m moving to NC soon so maybe better luck there lol
The only reason I even have Grindr on my phone is the "Explore" feature. You can always get a quick (if not always entirely accurate) view of the scene there.

NC seems... Promising. It's always helpful if you move to a city with a strong nightlife/social scene and a diverse collegiate student population, and the large cities in NC have that in spades. Not a lot of abs or models, but a lot of seemingly intelligent dudes in Charlotte, for instance.

WV, as a contrast, seemed... ...is dire the right word?
 
Oct 31, 2017
85
I weighed under 100KG this morning! This feels so weird, it's been so long since I was still skinny.
Congratulations! I know how hard it can be to lose a lot of weight and how great it can feel to (re)discover what it feels like to be in a body thats so much more lightweight. (Unfortunately for me I also know how it feels to regain all the weight you lost plus some, lol.) Keep at it its worth it!
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,871
Hello. I'm sorta new here, mainly in the fact that I've primarily posted in Games and not much if any OT, especially stuff like this. I apologize if this isn't the right thread to discuss these things, but I wanted to ask for advice about dating as a Bisexual, and in particular Online Dating (I know there's a dating thread).

So, basically I was wondering how best to approach dating as a Bisexual, from what I've been reading it almost seems more complicated than as a fully straight or gay person since there's some trepidation about Bi people (again from what I've read), so it makes me wonder for online dating in specific, if it is better instead of signing up as a Bi person to instead craft different profiles as a straight or gay person. But again, my knowledge of this matter is practically zero, so I definitely don't feel like I know anything.

That's only one issue. The second is that as it probably sounds, I'm so new to this whole Bi thing. And there's a lot of stuff as well that compounds everything which I'm not entirely sure I'm comfortable speaking of, even anonymous like so. I'm sure reading this already is generating a lot of "huh?" in your minds, so I will try to answer any questions I can to provide more detail and insight into my situation. Though for anything I feel is getting into uncomfortable territory I hope you'll understand if I'm a bit hesitant, and/or maybe will request speaking of it only through PM.

Again, will try to answer what I can, when I can, and apologies again if this isn't the best thread for this thing.
 
Oct 27, 2017
889
cant you just convert them
Maybe, but I think the entire new age phenomenon is symptomatic of an unwillingness to actually take firm positions w/r/t religion, spirituality, etc. Usually these people have a world view that is based more on a kind of aestheticism, which itself is fine (most of all existentialism, which I generally like, I'd describe as some kind of 'aesthetic world view'), the problem is more that new age stuff is a shallow and unreflective aestheticism, and no person is singly capable of curing someone of that. Conversion is really the same, it's a shift in a person's internal centre, it may be prompted by something external, but I don't think it can be directly caused.

Real talk though: I've been exposed to so much bro spirituality that my tolerance to it has seen better days.