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LGBTQera |ERA1| (We're Queer)

Oct 27, 2017
370
Detroit, MI
It's honestly great to see a gay male video game character. We're a very rare in the gaming world.
Yeah, that's because lesbians are much safer to market to the gaming crowd (that kiss scene during The Last of Us II would never in a million years have flown if it was between two guys), but even that isn't usually much besides fanservice for straight dudes to fawn over. S76 was honestly the last person I expected them to make gay.
 
Dec 22, 2017
245
I need advise please.

Recently I found a super attractive dude on Blued. We meet in real life. We clicked. He said he likes me, that I'm smart etc and we also schedule our next meeting... But he said that he's not into guys.

I have a feeling that he's bullshiting, he's on Blued at all place for godsake! Do you guys know why he said that? His reason for being in Blued is "to find guys friends". I'm very confused now lol.
 
Oct 25, 2017
6,959
hey yall and the lurkers

Its a new year. hope all is well.

I'll make this quick but for whatever reason you feeling down or anything. don't be afraid to chat it up with others. We have a community here and then there's the mental health thread.

With that said, we're coming up to the 2 year mark on January 16 when our own Pamplemousse took his life.

You're not alone, yall. :)
 
Oct 25, 2017
525
Canada
Heroicpiglet There are a couple of reasons that he could have said that. From my experience, guys looking for friends just translates to guys wanting nsa. He could also still be coming to terms/exploring his sexuality, or may actually be just trying to hoard gay friends. There's also the possibility that he's not interested in you, and "I'm not into guys, I just want friends" is his go-to for letting someone down gently.

Either way, you should be forthcoming and honest about your own intentions, and insist he does the same. If he sticks with the friends angle, then just put friend-level energy into him and continue your romantic search elsewhere.
 
Dec 4, 2017
571
London
Not just that we got a lead character, this is the guy who was the statue in the collectors edition
I've only ever played Overwatch on an early free weekend. Soldier 76 is the only character I really remember so it's pretty damned cool what Blizzard have done there.

I was always 50/50 on getting it, but I may well invest once I get tired of Battlefield 5.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,290
Munich
Ehm, so I have a question.
I encountered a homophobe on Twitter who is a religious fundamentalist. But I also believe that he is gay, like, he thinks not acting upon his SSA (same sex attraction, as he calls it) makes him not gay. He tries to tell himself that its a conscious decision(free will) by him not to act upon these urges, because they would be destructive. (he just cited some bullshit numbers about life expectancy when I asked whats supposed to be destructive about it).
I told him he is living a lie. His response:
You don't even know what a lie is. A lie is something that is untrue. Not acting on a particular urge has nothing to with truth but has to do with free will.
How do you talk to people like him? He is extremely hateful on the one hand, but its also obvious that this is more of a self hate inflicted by growing up in an environment where he was taught that what he is is sinful.
I don't know whether to just block him or feel sorry and try to engage further.
 
Nov 11, 2017
1,138
Florida
Ehm, so I have a question.
I encountered a homophobe on Twitter who is a religious fundamentalist. But I also believe that he is gay, like, he thinks not acting upon his SSA (same sex attraction, as he calls it) makes him not gay. He tries to tell himself that its a conscious decision(free will) by him not to act upon these urges, because they would be destructive. (he just cited some bullshit numbers about life expectancy when I asked whats supposed to be destructive about it).
I told him he is living a lie. His response:


How do you talk to people like him? He is extremely hateful on the one hand, but its also obvious that this is more of a self hate inflicted by growing up in an environment where he was taught that what he is is sinful.
I don't know whether to just block him or feel sorry and try to engage further.
I don't talk to people like this. It makes my life better.
 
Oct 27, 2017
437
Yeah, that's because lesbians are much safer to market to the gaming crowd (that kiss scene during The Last of Us II would never in a million years have flown if it was between two guys), but even that isn't usually much besides fanservice for straight dudes to fawn over. S76 was honestly the last person I expected them to make gay.
Just shows how society is clamored to straight men. They will always be the #1 interest.
 
Oct 27, 2017
370
Detroit, MI
I need advise please.

Recently I found a super attractive dude on Blued. We meet in real life. We clicked. He said he likes me, that I'm smart etc and we also schedule our next meeting... But he said that he's not into guys.

I have a feeling that he's bullshiting, he's on Blued at all place for godsake! Do you guys know why he said that? His reason for being in Blued is "to find guys friends". I'm very confused now lol.
Yeah, I've never heard of anyone who's not LGBT-aligned in some way going on a GAY SOCIAL NETWORKING APP just to meet guy friends lol. Plenty of ways for straight guys to connect otherwise. He also said he liked you. I'm guessing he got scared of his feelings for another guy and tried to cover for them with a lie.

I usually just leave guys like that alone, but he could also be looking for a friend to open up to about his attraction to men. Or he could just be bullshitting and playing head games with you.
 
Oct 26, 2017
329
Hey gang, my first post here might be a bit of a doozy. I consider myself an ally and a Q in LGBTQ (recently realizing, it still hasn't stuck with me). It's a moral dilemma, and one that I feel odd about, and rather would not ask Gaming for well.. obvious reasons.

I'm really interested in Dragon Quest XI and I really enjoyed everything about what I've seen and heard about it. But I'm conflicted due to the composer Sugiyama who is a war crime denier and anti-LGBTQ to the extent where he laughed at and dismissed the suicide rate of young folks in the community.

I've usually had an easy stance on stuff like this, where I just straight up don't support the individual (kanye west for example) or a corporation (Chic-Fil-A). Or games like Last Nite, Kingdomcome deliverance or now CDPR after their poor attempt (or lackthereof) of ass covering after several transphobic "jokes". It's easy for me to write them off. Where as here, it's seemingly just the composer, even though it's just one person, their presence is felt all throughout due to the OST, it's inescapable.

I'm conflicted, and I guess I'm curious where other likeminded people stand on topics like this. I feel like I'm being selfish and a traitor if I play this game because of this vile person.
From the Dragon Quest XI OT:
I heard Koichi Sugiyama is anti-LGBT, and racist. Is that true?
Yes. He is also a Japanese war crime denier, and it's terrible. Please read this thread for more information.
If you're really bothered by this, and you choose to pass on the game because of it, that's you're prerogative. Discussion about this particular aspect would probably be better relegated to the above thread where it can be more useful, however. You might also consider donating to a charity to offset your purchase, such as The Trevor Project or Human Rights Campaign, or another of your choice.
That's a good option, IMO.
The game is REALLY good and beautiful. The writing is fantastic and the localization team did a great job with Sylvando (gay character) and his troupe (the game had a very stereotypical Japanese representation of gay men, but IMO, it was fixed in the western release) to the point of making him my favorite character. He seriously has the best lines and dialogues.
I'm not done with the game yet and I already clocked more than 150 hours (it doesn't take that long to beat, tho, so don't worry about the length).


Also, HI! ^_^
Most of you don't remember or know me, but I'm glad to be seeing so many familiar faces and usernames still posting.
 
Oct 27, 2017
6,423
From the Dragon Quest XI OT:

That's a good option, IMO.
The game is REALLY good and beautiful. The writing is fantastic and the localization team did a great job with Sylvando (gay character) and his troupe (the game had a very stereotypical Japanese representation of gay men, but IMO, it was fixed in the western release) to the point of making him my favorite character. He seriously has the best lines and dialogues.
I'm not done with the game yet and I already clocked more than 150 hours (it doesn't take that long to beat, tho, so don't worry about the length).


Also, HI! ^_^
Most of you don't remember or know me, but I'm glad to be seeing so many familiar faces and usernames still posting.
Is Sylvando actually gay though? I keep hearing how it's just hinted at at best, and it's just "flamboyant" and "eccentric" not exactly committed to being an openly out character. I heard bits and bobs about his story.

I might grab it down the road as the sale has finished up, or if someone gifts it to me (or pre-owned down the road for switch). It's a shitty situation all round and I'm worried that it will always be in my head as I'm playing.
 
Oct 26, 2017
329
Is Sylvando actually gay though? I keep hearing how it's just hinted at at best, and it's just "flamboyant" and "eccentric" not exactly committed to being an openly out character. I heard bits and bobs about his story.

I might grab it down the road as the sale has finished up, or if someone gifts it to me (or pre-owned down the road for switch). It's a shitty situation all round and I'm worried that it will always be in my head as I'm playing.
He is.
I do hope you get a chance to play it :)
I'll double dip on Switch :P
 
Oct 27, 2017
6,423
Ehm, so I have a question.
I encountered a homophobe on Twitter who is a religious fundamentalist. But I also believe that he is gay, like, he thinks not acting upon his SSA (same sex attraction, as he calls it) makes him not gay. He tries to tell himself that its a conscious decision(free will) by him not to act upon these urges, because they would be destructive. (he just cited some bullshit numbers about life expectancy when I asked whats supposed to be destructive about it).
I told him he is living a lie. His response:


How do you talk to people like him? He is extremely hateful on the one hand, but its also obvious that this is more of a self hate inflicted by growing up in an environment where he was taught that what he is is sinful.
I don't know whether to just block him or feel sorry and try to engage further.
To me it seems like it's unneeded stress and baggage in your life. This person seems to have a lot of problems, and I'm not even going to talk hypothetical about their upbringing and what causes inner turmoil like this. It's a sad situation, and I don't feel like it's wrong to feel bad about the reasons as to why they are the way they are. It's sad, it's fucked up and they should be living their best, most positive life.

I'd personally just block and call it a day, not worth taking up space in your head and dragging you down with him. If they want help, they'll seek it. If you feel compelled and feel like you can make some breakthrough to help them though, go for it. Just don't put yourself at risk, they seem possibly dangerous. Be safe.

He is.
I do hope you get a chance to play it :)
I'll double dip on Switch :P
I'll grab it the next time I see it then. Thank you
 
Oct 27, 2017
1,195
The In-Between
Ehm, so I have a question.
I encountered a homophobe on Twitter who is a religious fundamentalist. But I also believe that he is gay, like, he thinks not acting upon his SSA (same sex attraction, as he calls it) makes him not gay. He tries to tell himself that its a conscious decision(free will) by him not to act upon these urges, because they would be destructive. (he just cited some bullshit numbers about life expectancy when I asked whats supposed to be destructive about it).
I told him he is living a lie. His response:


How do you talk to people like him? He is extremely hateful on the one hand, but its also obvious that this is more of a self hate inflicted by growing up in an environment where he was taught that what he is is sinful.
I don't know whether to just block him or feel sorry and try to engage further.
Seduce him. It’s the only way. Bring him to the rainbow colored light!

But for real...there’s not a lot you can actually do? Maybe down the line, this person will realize the enormous damage they’ve done to themselves and starts to undo it.

It’s...sad, and complicated. Because most likely, he’s going to hurt others with that kind of thinking. It reminds me of the ‘Gay Mormon’ where ultimately, he probably caused a great deal of pain to other gay kids in his same situation, only to have to apologize later for it.

It’s not right how religion has made it so hard for people to just live earnestly.
 
OP
OP
Sai

Sai

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,769
Chicago
What's the longest it has taken you guys to get over someone? Were time and distance the only things you needed?
5-6 months for my longest relationship, which was 3 years. Time and distance were the most important thing. He was basically excised from my life, and I stopped going to things that reminded me of him, stop listening to music he would listen to, and generally just tried to wipe him from my life. It worked after awhile! But the first couple months were miserable. I literally almost broke down just going by a restaurant that we would always go to lmfao
 
Oct 29, 2017
145
Hi everyone ! I've been a long time lurker since the days of gaf and finally decided to join the conversation, more so since I'm having some thoughts and need some advice ( so I'm sorry if I'm barging in with a help request ).

I'm turning 22 this month. I'm a college student originally from Tunisia and I'm currently living in Beirut, Lebanon. I identify as homosexual and being gay in the Arab world is extremely tricky. I've lived in the United States as well and can identify the big umbrella issues for LGBTQ+ individuals but the MENA region is excruciating due to the callous powers that oppress gay people. Everything, even the law itself, prevents you from existing and wrecks your life for doing that. As I grew up, I became more comfortable with myself and who I am and found a balance of being out in a selective manner that would allow me to have a fairly normal life without any " repercussions " on my direct affiliates ( family and co.)

Beirut is actually pretty open in terms of LGBTQ individuals, especially if you're a foreigner. Thus, I'm open and didn't really have any problems with that. However, I'm facing an issue of sorts :
I'm putting myself out there but didn't actually date a person yet and many people are pressuring me about this point while I'm sure of what I want. Because of the nature of gay acceptance in the MENA region, the gay population is more " underground " if that makes sense. That means that it's highly unlikely for me to just meet someone in a coffee shop and discover that they're gay and develop from there. I understand that's not how it happens even abroad but this led the community to be centered around Grindr and Tinder and be overly sexualized at that. I actually met many people from Tinder and had pleasant encounters but never felt like it will go anywhere.
Basically, my problem is somehow with how I perceive sexual relationships and dates in general. I really want to love someone and develop a genuine relationship with them in order to be physical with them. The cliched ice cream talks and movie watching of sorts. Everyone that I met is a hook-up magnet and my friends are convinced that I won't be able to find someone unless I " go for it " the first time and maybe someone will stick. I refuse to do that . ( and some of these friends imo are just embracing tolerance without having substance for it, one of them outed me unnecessarily and didn't understand why I was baffled by it, she was even offended that I scolded her for that lol) .
It becomes tricky when some people also link it to internalized homophobia which I hope isn't the case. I'm out and embracing it. I just have certain preferences for relationships that I want to adhere to, especially with the extra caution levels due to where I am.

I apologize if this is too long x) x) Thanks everyone <3
 
Oct 28, 2017
1,006
Is Sylvando actually gay though? I keep hearing how it's just hinted at at best, and it's just "flamboyant" and "eccentric" not exactly committed to being an openly out character. I heard bits and bobs about his story.

I might grab it down the road as the sale has finished up, or if someone gifts it to me (or pre-owned down the road for switch). It's a shitty situation all round and I'm worried that it will always be in my head as I'm playing.
It's heavily implied but I don't think it's ever stated directly. But between his relationship with his father and certain other characters that follow him I feel like it's pretty obvious. Love that game to death though and I do think he's the best character. Literally the only character in the party that isn't there by any form of destiny, it's just entirely his choice. The guy making the music is a shit head but the game itself feels very inclusive. It's just such a positive vibe game.
 
Oct 27, 2017
852
Hi everyone ! I've been a long time lurker since the days of gaf and finally decided to join the conversation, more so since I'm having some thoughts and need some advice ( so I'm sorry if I'm barging in with a help request ).

I'm turning 22 this month. I'm a college student originally from Tunisia and I'm currently living in Beirut, Lebanon. I identify as homosexual and being gay in the Arab world is extremely tricky. I've lived in the United States as well and can identify the big umbrella issues for LGBTQ+ individuals but the MENA region is excruciating due to the callous powers that oppress gay people. Everything, even the law itself, prevents you from existing and wrecks your life for doing that. As I grew up, I became more comfortable with myself and who I am and found a balance of being out in a selective manner that would allow me to have a fairly normal life without any " repercussions " on my direct affiliates ( family and co.)

Beirut is actually pretty open in terms of LGBTQ individuals, especially if you're a foreigner. Thus, I'm open and didn't really have any problems with that. However, I'm facing an issue of sorts :
I'm putting myself out there but didn't actually date a person yet and many people are pressuring me about this point while I'm sure of what I want. Because of the nature of gay acceptance in the MENA region, the gay population is more " underground " if that makes sense. That means that it's highly unlikely for me to just meet someone in a coffee shop and discover that they're gay and develop from there. I understand that's not how it happens even abroad but this led the community to be centered around Grindr and Tinder and be overly sexualized at that. I actually met many people from Tinder and had pleasant encounters but never felt like it will go anywhere.
Basically, my problem is somehow with how I perceive sexual relationships and dates in general. I really want to love someone and develop a genuine relationship with them in order to be physical with them. The cliched ice cream talks and movie watching of sorts. Everyone that I met is a hook-up magnet and my friends are convinced that I won't be able to find someone unless I " go for it " the first time and maybe someone will stick. I refuse to do that . ( and some of these friends imo are just embracing tolerance without having substance for it, one of them outed me unnecessarily and didn't understand why I was baffled by it, she was even offended that I scolded her for that lol) .
It becomes tricky when some people also link it to internalized homophobia which I hope isn't the case. I'm out and embracing it. I just have certain preferences for relationships that I want to adhere to, especially with the extra caution levels due to where I am.

I apologize if this is too long x) x) Thanks everyone <3
Hi. I don't think it's internalised homophobia at all. Sorry about the negative experiences like the outing.
 
Oct 28, 2017
2,286
St. Louis, MO
2019 is off to a good start so far. On Sunday night after watching Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse with my date, I got my first kiss with a guy. And moreover, first kiss in general. Was NOT expecting my first kiss to have tongue in it, but at the same time, I'm just glad it wasn't an awkward kiss.
 
Oct 28, 2017
2,286
St. Louis, MO
Thanks Tanooki. I don't think I'm interested in continuing things with this guy, so I want to let him down gently and let him know sooner rather than later. I didn't feel a physical attraction that much in person and, I definitely don't want to string him along, as that would be a really shitty thing to do.

That said, it was still a special night for me.
 
Oct 25, 2017
525
Canada
Phil32 It's really good that you recognize all of that. Lots of people grow an attachment to their first (whether it's first kiss, or other firsts) even if there isn't a genuine attraction. Experience is always good. I'm glad you had a good night! :) I'm sure the year has many more good nights coming your way.
 
Oct 25, 2017
111
Brazil
Hi Era! Here's my IBQ:
  • Your gender? Your sexual identity? Male
  • Your sexual orientation? Gay
  • Where Are You From? Brazil
  • Where Do You Live? Brazil - MG
  • How Old Are you? 32
  • Favorite Type of Music? Synthwave and something between progressive metal and deathcore.
  • Profession or Career interest? IT Programmer
  • Favorite video game(s)? Demon's Crest, Nier, Chrono Trigger, Samurai Shodown, Megaman, Castlevania
  • What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Baking, studying game design and sometime trying to make games.
Maybe later I'll vent here a little bit.
 
Nov 11, 2017
1,138
Florida
Hi Era! Here's my IBQ:
  • Your gender? Your sexual identity? Male
  • Your sexual orientation? Gay
  • Where Are You From? Brazil
  • Where Do You Live? Brazil - MG
  • How Old Are you? 32
  • Favorite Type of Music? Synthwave and something between progressive metal and deathcore.
  • Profession or Career interest? IT Programmer
  • Favorite video game(s)? Demon's Crest, Nier, Chrono Trigger, Samurai Shodown, Megaman, Castlevania
  • What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Baking, studying game design and sometime trying to make games.
Maybe later I'll vent here a little bit.
Welcome, welcome!
 
Oct 26, 2017
329
Entirely depends on the person. Some relationships end easier than others.
I know. But I was asking about specific cases, like Sai posted :P
I always like reading about others experiences.

If that's you in your avatar, you are very handsome. RPJ on the old forum was really fun, I made many cool acquaintances because of it. I'd participate, but I don't post/read/lurk that much anymore :P
 
Oct 27, 2017
370
Detroit, MI
Hi Era! Here's my IBQ:
  • Your gender? Your sexual identity? Male
  • Your sexual orientation? Gay
  • Where Are You From? Brazil
  • Where Do You Live? Brazil - MG
  • How Old Are you? 32
  • Favorite Type of Music? Synthwave and something between progressive metal and deathcore.
  • Profession or Career interest? IT Programmer
  • Favorite video game(s)? Demon's Crest, Nier, Chrono Trigger, Samurai Shodown, Megaman, Castlevania
  • What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Baking, studying game design and sometime trying to make games.
Maybe later I'll vent here a little bit.
Welcome to Era, fellow programmer!
 
Oct 25, 2017
79
I just wanted to post in here so that I don't have to search for this topic later. I like seeing my avatar on communities I like to keep track of.
Also, hi everyone.
 

Kismet

Banned
Member
Nov 9, 2017
563
Came back from Mauritius yesterday. Gay scene is non-existant there...

I wanted to go to a gayclub with my bf (he's a Mauritian), just to see how the LGBT-community is. But there was nothing.

Of course we enountered many gay visitors on the beaches. But no Mauritian gays. All in hiding for sure.

It's a shame. Even Albania (where I'm from) has gay clubs.
 
Oct 27, 2017
370
Detroit, MI
Came back from Mauritius yesterday. Gay scene is non-existant there...

I wanted to go to a gayclub with my bf (he's a Mauritian), just to see how the LGBT-community is. But there was nothing.

Of course we enountered many gay visitors on the beaches. But no Mauritian gays. All in hiding for sure.

It's a shame. Even Albania (where I'm from) has gay clubs.
That's a real shame. Have you tried using apps and the like to maybe organize some kind of grassroots gathering of local LGBT community members? Even something small, like just a dinner or something?
 

Kismet

Banned
Member
Nov 9, 2017
563
Yes, we tried Grindr. Didn't even use a profile pic. We wrote down that we would like to meet locals just for a drink.

But most people were just interested in sex. And some didn't want to go out in public with a gay couple. Afraid someone would spot them because the Island is small and "everyone knows each other..."

So we erased grindr really quick. Even without profile pic people are thirsty. Especially the visitors.