Well it is, but i don't get it why it's bothering you that much? Who cares what they think? If you are happy, that's all that matters.
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Well it is, but i don't get it why it's bothering you that much? Who cares what they think? If you are happy, that's all that matters.
Because people are so damned condescending. The shit about it being cheating or dismissive/unfair to your partner or whatever. You discuss it with each other. A healthy relationship of any sort is based on communication.
In this very thread I've seen people say that open relationships are somehow less than monogamous ones. I take issue with that.
Hmm, i still find it a bit weird, that you are so bothered by it to be honest. And people from both side are condescending, it's not just one side, you should not forget that. I mean, if you are happy and secure in your relationship, and it works for you, whatever that is, mono, poly, open, just don't give a fuck, and enjoy your life.
My Starbucks health insurance starts May 1st. Can't wait to finally get the facial feminization surgery. I work 60 hours a week (20 at Starbucks, 40 at IT job). I'm exhausted but I'm still alive baybayyyyyy
I do find it a bit disappointing that people in the other thread are so down on open relationships but I don't let their opinions affect me. My open relationship is going swimmingly, thank you very much, I don't need your acceptance or approval to validate my choices.
I dont see how pro open relationship people are being condescending. It's not like they are saying closed relationships are worthless and not true love like the other people are. And of course people are going to be hurt when others claim they dont actually love their partner
Anyway I'm happy to announce I'm finally in a happy relationship with a guy. We only started seeing each other 1.5 months ago but this is already the longest stable relationship I've had. I've been with people for longer but none of those felt like they had a future. This is the first time I actually miss being around someone
Anyway I'm happy to announce I'm finally in a happy relationship with a guy. We only started seeing each other 1.5 months ago but this is already the longest stable relationship I've had. I've been with people for longer but none of those felt like they had a future. This is the first time I actually miss being around someone
There are gays that are victims of hetero-normative propaganda, yes.
Yehh......
But screw all that, congrats! :D
100% yes. They're people you wouldn't want to date and find out their biases from later, but it still sucks and hurts, I know.
Even when you're dating someone for a long time, like I've been (almost 6 years!), people will question and wonder about your relationship right to your face (or even worse, your partner's), which is disgusting and sucks.
Yeah, this. But i guess people see what they want to see ^^
I always get baited into responding to open relationship threads, can't help myself
Congrats!! Wish ya the best
Even so - judge the people who said that - not every single person in an open relationship. I don't give two shits about "heteronormativity." I married my husband legally. I have the papers to prove it. We just also like having sex with other people. It doesn't mean I love him any less than I did the moment we started dating which was 13 years ago. Whoever is throwing shit around in that thread (both sides - just so I can prove I'm not blind, apparently) needs to stop it's literally nobody's business and everyone to offer their opinions based on their lives and personal experiences only.
But sweety, there will always be people who are against something, you just have to say fack em. The most important thing is, that you and your partner are happy. I'm full of Anime/Videogames Tattoos, i have to "defend" myself all the time, especially with gay guys, but i have come to conclusion, that it's not my problem if they accept me for me, but their issue. I love myself, so who cares. Just don't let it bother you, don't give them so much time/energy, it's a forum.
It's a forum, indeed. That's why I'm offering my views.
Hey LGBTQ Era, I'm Snowybreak.
Your gender? Your sexual identity? - Described below
Your sexual orientation? - Whichever one means everything.
Where Are You From? - The part of PA that juts up against Lake Erie.
Where Do You Live? - Same as above.
How Old Are you? - 24
Favorite Type of Music? - Psychedelic Rock
Profession or Career interest? - Kitchen Hand, Professional Dishwasher
Favorite video game(s)? - Kirby ATAM, Burnout 3
What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Flitting between hobbies like it's going out of style.
—————
Ok, so, I've been having a bit of an internal struggle throughout a large portion of my life. I was born a dude, have lived like a dude, and keep a dude identity, but at the same time, I've always felt there was something really off inside. As if I was either lying to myself, or that being male was only a part of my gender identity. I've recently been thinking of seeking out therapy on the issue, a friend referred me to the person who helped him through his transition, but at the same time I'm unsure if I could fully transition to female. Hell, I've been keeping a pretty long beard for almost ten years and just today I decided to just shave it all off and see what I had to work with underneath. It was a weird experience.
I guess my question is, would all of the above be filed under genderqueer? Or is there a different term for it?
Your gender? Your sexual identity? - Described below
Your sexual orientation? - Whichever one means everything.
Where Are You From? - The part of PA that juts up against Lake Erie.
Where Do You Live? - Same as above.
How Old Are you? - 24
Favorite Type of Music? - Psychedelic Rock
Profession or Career interest? - Kitchen Hand, Professional Dishwasher
Favorite video game(s)? - Kirby ATAM, Burnout 3
What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Flitting between hobbies like it's going out of style.
—————
Ok, so, I've been having a bit of an internal struggle throughout a large portion of my life. I was born a dude, have lived like a dude, and keep a dude identity, but at the same time, I've always felt there was something really off inside. As if I was either lying to myself, or that being male was only a part of my gender identity. I've recently been thinking of seeking out therapy on the issue, a friend referred me to the person who helped him through his transition, but at the same time I'm unsure if I could fully transition to female. Hell, I've been keeping a pretty long beard for almost ten years and just today I decided to just shave it all off and see what I had to work with underneath. It was a weird experience.
I guess my question is, would all of the above be filed under genderqueer? Or is there a different term for it?
People arguing against open relationships: "you just don't want to deal with serious emotions/commitment."
People arguing against monogamy:
"Let me make a facile reference to evolutionary psychology and call everyone into monogamy insecure/possessive."
They both suck. But people make glib and spurious arguments all the time.
People arguing against monogamy:
"Let me make a facile reference to evolutionary psychology and call everyone into monogamy insecure/possessive."
They both suck. But people make glib and spurious arguments all the time.
I guess the obvious observation to make is that of the two groups making the 'the other side is an idiot' arguments, those in the mainstream feel more justified in letting their asses hang out, which is to say they're way more blithe and don't even think about criticizing the opposing position because they know they have substantial support behind them. On the other hand, people arguing for the more 'unpopular' position tend to be more bellicose because they are less likely to bother making the distinction between individuals and the cultural phenomenon that they have beef with, probably because they feel obliged from their position to don their best opposition hat in practically all circumstances.
Basically, both are annoying for different reasons and it's really best to just chill on the whole thing, especially with threads that ask simple value questions that practically beg for basic black and white hot takes. I really don't know what else can be said tbh. Some people are just not prepared to have a serious discussion about x, and if that's the case it's foolish to take what they have to say seriously.
Basically, both are annoying for different reasons and it's really best to just chill on the whole thing, especially with threads that ask simple value questions that practically beg for basic black and white hot takes. I really don't know what else can be said tbh. Some people are just not prepared to have a serious discussion about x, and if that's the case it's foolish to take what they have to say seriously.
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Snowybreak with how you say you feel something is off sounds a lot like what trans people describe, and that is absolutely worth exploring
(I also wore a beard for several years then shaved it a couple years ago, also thought "wtf my face is weird" initially but now I can't imagine going back XD )
(I also wore a beard for several years then shaved it a couple years ago, also thought "wtf my face is weird" initially but now I can't imagine going back XD )
Well I'm glad to hear I'm not alone. I'm definitely going to be exploring whatever options are open to me.
The drag show at Fallout in Richmond was AMAZING. Absolutely amazing. Even taking away Brooke Lynn it was EASILY the best drag show I've seen locally with amazing and very varied performances by Chicki Parm, Jasmen Clitopatra and London Lestrange. But throw Ms. Hytes into the mix and the crowd was absolutely electric.
Her first song was Sorry Not Sorry which I'm sure is gonna be a signature performance for her for awhile at least. Her second performance, Dangerous Woman, was very fitting since Fallout is an Alternative themed club that has a lot of kink nights (I went to the show wearing a harness in fact). Shown in the 2nd video below, Brooke Lynn playing to the club/crowd by doing some moves in the cage near the stage. NOT shown in any video I've seen is when she hopped up on a ceiling beam, hung onto it with her hand using upper body strength alone and did moves and mid air splits for about 20 seconds. All while in ballet stance (wearing ballet heels? it was hard to tell). I have new goals to shoot for when I do chinups at the gym.
Ugh, I still can't get over it. What an amazing night.
Best of luck Snowybreak and we will support you however we can!!
That looks and sounds goddang amamazing Barrylocke
That looks and sounds goddang amamazing Barrylocke
OK sooo
I think I may finally be at the point in my life that I'm confident enough to attempt casual meets/hookups (but nothing long term unless it's friendships)
But I'm kind of in a weird spot as in spite of my questioning gender identity, I'm still essentially a man seeking women, buuut not really the kind of man most straight women would be interested in??
So I'm not sure if I should focus on general apps like Tinder or Bumble, or try to be more on queer sites....and also umm...what....are....the queer sites/apps that would be recommended?
I think I may finally be at the point in my life that I'm confident enough to attempt casual meets/hookups (but nothing long term unless it's friendships)
But I'm kind of in a weird spot as in spite of my questioning gender identity, I'm still essentially a man seeking women, buuut not really the kind of man most straight women would be interested in??
So I'm not sure if I should focus on general apps like Tinder or Bumble, or try to be more on queer sites....and also umm...what....are....the queer sites/apps that would be recommended?
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Talked with my parents, both are supportive. I am currently on cloud nine, life is good. Therapist referral in a week, then three months to lose some weight, and then hopefully I'll be able to start hormones by October.
Of course, this is if everything goes according to plan and my doctor and medicaid don't jerk me around.
I got 12 new tattoos 3 weeks ago, 2 on legs (hurt as a bitch), but i love them all so much.
The big ones are Hisoka and Garo (One Punch Man). I'm a bit skinny, but starting to feel really comfortable in my body.
The big ones are Hisoka and Garo (One Punch Man). I'm a bit skinny, but starting to feel really comfortable in my body.
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Sorry for the delayed update ERA, it's been 2 months since my last post!
After 5 months of being unsure about how my "Straight" Best Friend felt about me, I was finally able to confirm that my gut instincts were correct and there is an attraction. It all came down to one magical evening where he booked us in to a LUX session of Endgame (Gold class/ premiere screening) and organised for all food and drinks to be paid for the night, beforehand he insinuated that this was a date, but me being me just laughed it off as Him joking around. We went to the session he grabbed my hand during the film and nodded to make sure it was fine, I nodded back and we pretty much just cuddled during the session. After the session ended we went back to his place and was told to stay the night as he said I had too much to drink…. I only had about 2 standard drinks, but whatever I stayed the night anyways and the rest is history.
It's been 2 weeks since then and we've made it official and I've never been happier, I'd like to thank you guys for the support (especially you Gibbs) and reading all my long ass poorly structured post!
After 5 months of being unsure about how my "Straight" Best Friend felt about me, I was finally able to confirm that my gut instincts were correct and there is an attraction. It all came down to one magical evening where he booked us in to a LUX session of Endgame (Gold class/ premiere screening) and organised for all food and drinks to be paid for the night, beforehand he insinuated that this was a date, but me being me just laughed it off as Him joking around. We went to the session he grabbed my hand during the film and nodded to make sure it was fine, I nodded back and we pretty much just cuddled during the session. After the session ended we went back to his place and was told to stay the night as he said I had too much to drink…. I only had about 2 standard drinks, but whatever I stayed the night anyways and the rest is history.
It's been 2 weeks since then and we've made it official and I've never been happier, I'd like to thank you guys for the support (especially you Gibbs) and reading all my long ass poorly structured post!
I love your tattoos, they all look great!I got 12 new tattoos 3 weeks ago, 2 on legs (hurt as a bitch), but i love them all so much.
The big ones are Hisoka and Garo (One Punch Man). I'm a bit skinny, but starting to feel really comfortable in my body.
I'm so happy to hear this! Great for you two!
I got warm and cozy reading this post. Congrats! I'm happy for you both! :)
Thanks ERA Fam! next step is to start planning on how to come out to both out very, very, very Catholic parents. (YAY)
Don't rush things. For the time being, I would say it would be best to enjoy eachother's company and have a good time. Coming out to your respective families may be necessary at some point, but it would be way too soon right now, and could bring drama to your burgeoning relationship.
Now, I don't know all the details, but in my humble opinion you really shouldn't come out to your parents now.
Now, I don't know all the details, but in my humble opinion you really shouldn't come out to your parents now.
Most definitely, just got over my first hurdle and by planning I just mean actually thinking about it, but also in saying that our families are already catching on, both my Brother and Dad have made some pretty shitty comment about how much time we spend together...
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I am screaming!!!! I couldn't be more happier for you Inukage! This is the best news I've heard in a while, and this definitely is the fairy tale ending I was hoping to hear!
It sounds like the date that you thought was a joke went perfectly and it turned into what I expected. I get the vibe that perhaps he has flirted with ideas with you but you took it as a joke, but he finally made the move and it paid off. Just awesome! :)!
I am incredibly happy for you, and you deserve the best dude! I wish you and the boyfriend the best and all the happiness in the world! <3
Thanks Gibbs! <3
I'm so glad that it wasn't all in my head as it was starting to drive me a little mad. The lead up to the date night was insane, I was ready to explode with my feelings and make a move as there were a few moments where I was sure he was ready to say or do something, but was hesitant, so I was happy he took a gamble with me at the movies, it was perfect! (He also ended the night saying I love you x3000, which as cheesy as it sounds made me melt)
If someone told me this time last year, I'd be in the situation, I would have told them that they are delusional and this would happen as we weren't even on speaking terms at the time, but here we are and I couldn't be happier.
Next on the cards is our Japan holiday in December which I was excited for, but now I'm just dying to go! should be pretty dam special!
Thanks Sagitario :D
Yeah neither of us were sure about each other's sexuality, we both kept dropping hints, but neither of us were game enough to actually ask or try anything, well until he did.
Ikr.
People got offended because I said I didn't know ERA was so conservative, but is there a less offensive word for people that say I should end my relationship just because I'm planning to talk about sex with other people to my boyfriend? I was definitely the one taking punches there, but arguing with strangers online isn't really my thing.
I think it's a touchy subject cause people feel super insecure about it. Many feel the need to judge so than can empower themselves, away from the vulnerability of recognizing that they also might feel that their partners aren't completely fulfilling their sexual needs. It's a hard reality to face, the first thing people do is doubt if they really love their partners, and think that their relationship is doomed, so they choose not to think about it and say they don't believe in open relationships so it's easier for them to deal with it.
This is not of course generalizing about monogamous people (I'm still a monogamous person as of now), I'm just wondering about the reasons why some people would be so eager to judge.
