LGBTQera |ERA1| (We're Queer)

MasaDrew

Member
Jun 20, 2019
19
RE: Approaching guys. Generally I just take into consideration that in the worst case scenario of rejection Im no worse than before I attempted. I also keep in mind that theres as much of a chance that I dont want to pursue after trying to converse as he may, which evens out the nervousness.

So with the case of working out I may just find a moment to go up and talk about our shared interest, maybe ask for tips. If conversation is warm I branch out. At that point i've more than likely made an acquaintance or more. Getting over the fear of rejection is hard but doable.


Being single but looking for a relationship in the city is a process....frustrating sometimes. I know its not true but sometimes you just can't shake the feeling that half of the community is in an open relationship and the other half doesn't want to commit to anything. It'll happen when it happens, i'll just keep embracing my inner ho til it does.
 

beau_beaumont

Member
Nov 12, 2017
428
Lol I also just learned this back in April, hahah. My bosses daughter (13) asked me what the colors were cause she forgot, and I said there wasn’t one. She then googled it and proved me wrong!! Haha
Yeah. I didn’t realize it either until pride month at my work and they had all the different flags up on the wall in the break room.
 

Manipular

Member
Oct 27, 2017
477
Detroit, MI
On the topic of dating apps, I haven't touched Grindr on about 2 years now. Scruff is my go-to. I know all the apps have their issues, but even my worst experiences on the other apps would be just an average day on Grindr lol.

YMMV, obviously.
 

TRUE ORDER

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,285
So I was able to say "Hi" to the guy who caught my eye at the gym, at laaast!!

I know this could sound silly but I've always had an issue with self-confidence, so it was a huge step to do it, even though I used "are you using those wheights" as an excuse lol
 

MasaDrew

Member
Jun 20, 2019
19
On the topic of dating apps, I haven't touched Grindr on about 2 years now. Scruff is my go-to. I know all the apps have their issues, but even my worst experiences on the other apps would be just an average day on Grindr lol.

YMMV, obviously.
Scruff is my go to as its usually the most active. Ya'd think I'd get more mileage out of Growlr but like Grindr I seem to get more guys that are not my type or creeps. Tinder, OkCupid, and Hinge get a lot of attention too.

So I was able to say "Hi" to the guy who caught my eye at the gym, at laaast!!

I know this could sound silly but I've always had an issue with self-confidence, so it was a huge step to do it, even though I used "are you using those wheights" as an excuse lol
Baby steps! You're doing great! Soon you'll get them blushing then its a shoe in.
 

Nigthwizard

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
188
Costa Rica
So I was able to say "Hi" to the guy who caught my eye at the gym, at laaast!!

I know this could sound silly but I've always had an issue with self-confidence, so it was a huge step to do it, even though I used "are you using those wheights" as an excuse lol
Congrats on talking to him, you did great
On the topic of dating apps, I haven't touched Grindr on about 2 years now. Scruff is my go-to. I know all the apps have their issues, but even my worst experiences on the other apps would be just an average day on Grindr lol.

YMMV, obviously.
I never used grindr, too many creepy guys, I met my boyfriend on growlr
.
 

TRUE ORDER

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,285
Thanks to both of you!!
I'm glad that I did it, no matter what my mind thinks is always better to not be pessimistic.

He even handed me over the wheights and asked me if I needed the other pair he was using, don't want to make things out of thin air lol but it was a nice gesture.
 

Pirate Bae

X marks the spot
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
3,541
??
Happy for you, True Order! Gym love is the best love, lol.

Hi, been lurking for a bit. I identify as bisexual and am in a long term relationship with my gf. We have four cats :)

Nice to meet you all!
 

IvorB

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,583
So I was able to say "Hi" to the guy who caught my eye at the gym, at laaast!!

I know this could sound silly but I've always had an issue with self-confidence, so it was a huge step to do it, even though I used "are you using those wheights" as an excuse lol
Congrats, dude. Honestly breaking the conversation barrier is most of the struggle. Now you can have convo, flirt and explore if there is anything there. Cheesy gym lines are totally okay!
 

Arcus Felis

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,283
Happy for you, True Order! Gym love is the best love, lol.

Hi, been lurking for a bit. I identify as bisexual and am in a long term relationship with my gf. We have four cats :)

Nice to meet you all!
Welcome!

... You can not mention you have four cats and not post a single photo of them D: That's just cruel teasing!
 

TRUE ORDER

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,285
Happy for you, True Order! Gym love is the best love, lol.

Hi, been lurking for a bit. I identify as bisexual and am in a long term relationship with my gf. We have four cats :)

Nice to meet you all!
Thanks!! I don't even know if he's bi or gay but I'll try to find out lol

Welcome!![

/QUOTE]
Congrats, dude. Honestly breaking the conversation barrier is most of the struggle. Now you can have convo, flirt and explore if there is anything there. Cheesy gym lines are totally okay!
Thanks!!
I'll have to try and see how it goes, I saw him today but didn't have the chance/guts to say Hi.
 

Kismet

Member
Nov 9, 2017
1,122
So I was able to say "Hi" to the guy who caught my eye at the gym, at laaast!!

I know this could sound silly but I've always had an issue with self-confidence, so it was a huge step to do it, even though I used "are you using those wheights" as an excuse lol
Awesome!!!

I think I've talked to all the handsome guys at my gym. With some I've become gymbuddies. There's one that always wears headphones, though. So it's hard to communicate.

But the day will come.
 

TRUE ORDER

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,285
Awesome!!!

I think I've talked to all the handsome guys at my gym. With some I've become gymbuddies. There's one that always wears headphones, though. So it's hard to communicate.

But the day will come.
Thanks!!
The thing is I don't want to seem like a creepy guy or make a move and do it wrong or be somewhat awkward...

Also, it's difficult to know if he would be interested to have a little chat or meeting people like me lol
 

Kismet

Member
Nov 9, 2017
1,122
Just don't force anything. If you see there's no interest, move on and don't pay any attention anymore because you will only disappoint yourself.
I'm a very reserved person, but not shy. But it took a while to get there. I was very shy in my 20's. I just got more confident, but not arrogant. I do get quite a lot of attention, but I just don't care for it most of the time, or don't really pay attention to it. Many guys are like this as well.

Being single has boosted my confidence even further. When I was in a relationship I didn't really pay any attention when someone was flirting. But now, yes. I've dated some very nice and hot guys so far. And I'll keep on doing it. Currently not in the need for a relationship. But let's see which one sticks...

Talking about dating.... One of the guys had one of the biggest dicks I've ever seen. Good thing he was a versa because I'm not sitting on that. I don't like too big.
 

TRUE ORDER

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,285
Pirate Bae's cat looks really cute!!

Just don't force anything. If you see there's no interest, move on and don't pay any attention anymore because you will only disappoint yourself.
I'm a very reserved person, but not shy. But it took a while to get there. I was very shy in my 20's. I just got more confident, but not arrogant. I do get quite a lot of attention, but I just don't care for it most of the time, or don't really pay attention to it. Many guys are like this as well.

Being single has boosted my confidence even further. When I was in a relationship I didn't really pay any attention when someone was flirting. But now, yes. I've dated some very nice and hot guys so far. And I'll keep on doing it. Currently not in the need for a relationship. But let's see which one sticks...

Talking about dating.... One of the guys had one of the biggest dicks I've ever seen. Good thing he was a versa because I'm not sitting on that. I don't like too big.
Sometimes I think that it would be easier if I just go to him and say that I'm interested in get to know him but that's too difficult lol

I've never been on a relationship so don't know what to say hahahah.
 

Milo Rambaldi

Member
Nov 11, 2017
2,871
Florida
so in a weirdly positive Grindr experience: there's this guy on there I've been talking to who's a bit younger than I am (he's 27 and I'm 34) and we've kinda clicked. He was in town visiting his family and lives like 8 hours away but it's been weeks and we're still talking.

He's not my usual "type" being a pretty skinny, jock-ish body but he's nerdy and his personality matches what I like. He swears he finds me attractive for whatever reason so it seems like we're definitely gonna meet up the next time he's in town next month or whatever and hang out.

If I don't chicken out. At this point I don't think I actually will but I also keep asking myself if this is some elaborate long con because I've never actually interacted with a Grindr person in this capacity for this long. Regardless, he's at the very least really nice to look at.

Geez, Chris, get it together.
 

Ambient80

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
1,508
Charlotte Pride was great! There was a huge crowd. Everyone seemed to be having a great time, and it was really sunny out (and humid, but it’s N.C. in August soooo...)

Was a great first experience at a Pride festival. Now I wanna start going to more!
 

MasaDrew

Member
Jun 20, 2019
19
Pirate Bae's cat looks really cute!!


Sometimes I think that it would be easier if I just go to him and say that I'm interested in get to know him but that's too difficult lol

I've never been on a relationship so don't know what to say hahahah.
The worst case scenario is you haven't lost anything if he isn't interested. If anything you're building confidence by asking. Don't look at rejection as a way to define yourself, but rather a building block that leads to success. You'll find it easier to talk with guys, giving and receiving compliments and asking them out.

One guy may not be into you but there is ALWAYS another that wants to eat your butt like a cupcake.

so in a weirdly positive Grindr experience: there's this guy on there I've been talking to who's a bit younger than I am (he's 27 and I'm 34) and we've kinda clicked. He was in town visiting his family and lives like 8 hours away but it's been weeks and we're still talking.

He's not my usual "type" being a pretty skinny, jock-ish body but he's nerdy and his personality matches what I like. He swears he finds me attractive for whatever reason so it seems like we're definitely gonna meet up the next time he's in town next month or whatever and hang out.

If I don't chicken out. At this point I don't think I actually will but I also keep asking myself if this is some elaborate long con because I've never actually interacted with a Grindr person in this capacity for this long. Regardless, he's at the very least really nice to look at.

Geez, Chris, get it together.
Think of it as getting to know someone but have expectations set. Keep having conversations and just enjoy yourself.


As an aside, what helps me with talking to new people or being in crowds is holding to the idea that chances are I may not see most of those people again. It takes a lot of pressure off and allows me to be my usual dorky charmy self. I used to have an issue of caring way too much of what others think of me. It takes time to just...not give a fuck about that. A lot of practice.

I've been single for over a year. Lots of dates and some courting plus a quilt made of everyones red flags and I feel a lot more confident about myself. First dates rarely lead to second and sometimes I feel like a ghost hunter but you have to take it in stride I suppose.
 
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TRUE ORDER

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,285
The worst case scenario is you haven't lost anything if he isn't interested. If anything you're building confidence by asking. Don't look at rejection as a way to define yourself, but rather a building block that leads to success. You'll find it easier to talk with guys, giving and receiving compliments and asking them out.

One guy may not be into you but there is ALWAYS another that wants to eat your butt like a cupcake.

As an aside, what helps me with talking to new people or being in crowds is holding to the idea that chances are I may not see most of those people again. It takes a lot of pressure off and allows me to be my usual dorky charmy self. I used to have an issue of caring way too much of what others think of me. It takes time to just...not give a fuck about that. A lot of practice.
Thanks for your words!! I tried to say Hi to him yesterday but we didn't make eye contact so I got insecure and didn't try to do it again even though I was beside him at some point...

Since middle school I've had confidence issues "thanks" to some of my classmates who bullied me... sigh. I really hope it's not to late to advance and don't think negatively.