LGBTQera |ERA1| (We're Queer)

Nov 27, 2019
83
Talked with my wife last night about whether her sister--who is constantly over at our place--was still a diet homophobe (or more accurate non-cisheterophobe), because I'm not keen on being in the closet in my own damned home. Turns out her sister was self-aware enough of her problematic views that for a while she was reading nothing but gay romance novels to acclimatize herself.

My wife is pretty confident she's successfully turned things around. Being successful in reversing course on her homophobia is admirable, but I have no idea where she stands on transness/non-binary. She's a JK Rowling nut, so I find it hard not to suspect her of being a TERF, but she also doesn't use Twitter or a lot of social media, so it's entirely possible if not likely she had no idea what sort of garbage opinions noted garbage person Rowling has.

Even if she still hasn't advanced quite that far, the fact she was open-minded enough to confront and change her views on a related subject scores points with me and makes me feel a little bit more at ease that she'll come around when I do start being more open about it.
 

MasaDrew

Member
Jun 20, 2019
60
Yeah, its entirely possible that if she isn't on much social media that she may just be a super fan of HP/Rowling and have no clue current events.

Question is how do you feel about her views once she is educated? Do you separate the art from the artist or on the other end of the spectrum?

Also yassss Seth can't wait play them.
 

Manipular

Member
Oct 27, 2017
532
Detroit, MI
Talked with my wife last night about whether her sister--who is constantly over at our place--was still a diet homophobe (or more accurate non-cisheterophobe), because I'm not keen on being in the closet in my own damned home. Turns out her sister was self-aware enough of her problematic views that for a while she was reading nothing but gay romance novels to acclimatize herself.

My wife is pretty confident she's successfully turned things around. Being successful in reversing course on her homophobia is admirable, but I have no idea where she stands on transness/non-binary. She's a JK Rowling nut, so I find it hard not to suspect her of being a TERF, but she also doesn't use Twitter or a lot of social media, so it's entirely possible if not likely she had no idea what sort of garbage opinions noted garbage person Rowling has.

Even if she still hasn't advanced quite that far, the fact she was open-minded enough to confront and change her views on a related subject scores points with me and makes me feel a little bit more at ease that she'll come around when I do start being more open about it.
I think it's good that she's made an effort to educate herself and change, but I'm not ENTIRELY sure gay romance novels are the answer lol. It's better than nothing, though.

Regarding the Rowling thing, I don't think her being a huge fan necessarily means she's transphobic. It's not as if the Harry Potter books have anti-trans rhetoric laced through them (at least, none that I've noticed). Plus, if she doesn't use social media, it's highly unlikely she even knows about Rowling's views.
 
Nov 27, 2019
83
I personally don't know where I stand on separating the art from the artist. I feel like every time it comes up, is in relation to something so egregiously beyond the pale that I absolutely cannot in good conscience do anything that might contribute to their financial benefit, but so far it hasn't been for any creative that I feel particularly strongly about. I guess if something like Bill Watterson coming out of seclusion to spout a bunch of racism happened, that would be a true test.

And yes to yassss Seth. I am developing an unhealthy fixation on the character. Just show me the summer alt costume in full, Capcom. I needs it.
I think it's good that she's made an effort to educate herself and change, but I'm not ENTIRELY sure gay romance novels are the answer lol. It's better than nothing, though.

Regarding the Rowling thing, I don't think her being a huge fan necessarily means she's transphobic. It's not as if the Harry Potter books have anti-trans rhetoric laced through them (at least, none that I've noticed). Plus, if she doesn't use social media, it's highly unlikely she even knows about Rowling's views.
Yeah, the romance novel angle is... Not how I would have gone about it, but if it works, it works. Good on her.

And rationally I know there's no reason to link her HP fandom to Rowling's transphobia. It's probably just my being paranoid and catastrophizing coming out as NB.
 

phonicjoy

Member
Jun 19, 2018
2,407
Hi guys. I thought I'd introduce myself here finally. I've come to realize and my queerness pretty late in life, and I've never really had to come out. I recently told my best friend so I guessed it was time to see what you guys were up to..


  • Your gender? Your sexual identity? Male, I guess. I dont "feel" my gender, so to say? I definitely look male though. Its definitely a blindspot for me in others as well, I find gender struggles really difficult to understand. I'm working on that though.
  • Your sexual orientation? Bi+ or pansexual. Pansexual feels a bit weird to say, I see gender but it doesnt really play a role in who I find sexually attractive.Not many people here know what you mean when using that term either.
  • Where Are You From? The netherlands
  • Where Do You Live? As above
  • How Old Are you? 30+
  • Favorite Type of Music? I like almost any type. Not that into modern pop, But I listen to classical, garage rock, indie, metal, punk, electro, some hiphop, I've been on Bombay Bicycle kick lately.
  • Favorite video game(s)? Mario 64, I'm really enjoying death stranding now though.
  • What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? I read quite a lot, trying to broaden my horizon, trying to get into photography, play guitar when I can be bothered to.
I've convinced myself I was straight for most of my life. I was intrigued by some guys, but I always thought that was just some sort of side effect of being an extremely horny teen. I kissed some guys in college (as a "joke") but nothing ever happened until I had a one night thing with a guy some years ago. I can finally place those feelings I had when I heard a guy at a party I was with my then girlfriend thought I was hot. Or when I get an obviously look from a guy thats cute.

My social circle is not homophobic but I dont have that many queer friends. I dont really know where to go for advice or support, and I'm not really interested in a blanket coming out to colleagues and friends that I'm not close with. I'm not romantically into guys, Ive never had those kinds of feelings at least, and my sexlife is my own. I also feel kind of guilty for struggling with this when actual gay people have no choice in the matter.

Im so very lucky to be dating an amazing bisexual woman who was overjoyed when I told her I had some experience with guys and really opened my eyes to what I've been missing in terms of social support or just people to talk to about this.

Coming to terms with my own sexuality has made some of my mental problems clearer. Hiding in plain sight is not ideal and I hope for all of the younger queers here that they will never have to do that. Be proud of how you feel, even though no-one can tell from the outside.

I hope this isnt too much of a word-soup..

Sexuality and gender are fucking difficult and I cant understand anyone wanting to place others inside some predefined box.
 
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kev.wav

Member
Oct 25, 2017
128
Can't promise to post much but thought I'd actually think about some of these
  • Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?)
    • M to nonbinary, he/him or they, either way
  • Your sexual orientation?
    • bi, tending towards women
  • Where Are You From?
    • OC
  • Where Do You Live?
    • bay area
  • How Old Are you?
    • late 20's
  • Favorite Type of Music?
    • techno or dance music in general, have heavy edm experience
  • Profession or Career interest?
    • coding
  • Favorite video game(s)?
    • Majora's Mask or Halo 3
  • What are your hobbies (other than gaming)?
    • I dj and produce electronic music, bread baking, lots of reading, crosswords
didn't really allow myself to consider that I might not be just straight til relatively later and since then haven't been in many life positions to explore it, but still would like to connect with some sort of community, so hi
 

WhySoDevious

Member
Oct 31, 2017
3,237
What is your response when you tell someone that they're not your type and they then want to go out to drink "as friends"?
 
Oct 25, 2017
376
Hi hi. Not sure why I never posted in here.


  • Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?) Male - He/Him
  • Your sexual orientation? Gay
  • Where Are You From? Born in MD lived in TX for a long time.
  • Where Do You Live? OC Cali
  • How Old Are you? 36
  • Favorite Type of Music? Punk/Ska
  • Profession or Career interest? Work in gaming. Marketing.
  • Favorite video game(s)? Warcraft II, Street Fighter, Heroes of the Storm, FF IV.
  • What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Watching hockey, traveling, working out, cars
Just here to say hi.

Also find it funny that I’ve adjusted my fitness and health drastically over the last few months. Self confidence is wayyyy up and people pinging me on various apps is wayyyyy up. Feels reassuring but also makes me hate how this world craves that
 

TRUE ORDER

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,900
Does anyone here live in Rome, Paris, Málaga or London??
I'm visiting some places :)

Hi hi. Not sure why I never posted in here.


  • Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?) Male - He/Him
  • Your sexual orientation? Gay
  • Where Are You From? Born in MD lived in TX for a long time.
  • Where Do You Live? OC Cali
  • How Old Are you? 36
  • Favorite Type of Music? Punk/Ska
  • Profession or Career interest? Work in gaming. Marketing.
  • Favorite video game(s)? Warcraft II, Street Fighter, Heroes of the Storm, FF IV.
  • What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Watching hockey, traveling, working out, cars
Just here to say hi.

Also find it funny that I’ve adjusted my fitness and health drastically over the last few months. Self confidence is wayyyy up and people pinging me on various apps is wayyyyy up. Feels reassuring but also makes me hate how this world craves that
Welcome to the thread!!
Congrats on your improvements :) and yes, this world can be somewhat harsh...
 
OP
OP
Sai

Sai

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
2,831
Chicago
Can't promise to post much but thought I'd actually think about some of these
  • Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?)
    • M to nonbinary, he/him or they, either way
  • Your sexual orientation?
    • bi, tending towards women
  • Where Are You From?
    • OC
  • Where Do You Live?
    • bay area
  • How Old Are you?
    • late 20's
  • Favorite Type of Music?
    • techno or dance music in general, have heavy edm experience
  • Profession or Career interest?
    • coding
  • Favorite video game(s)?
    • Majora's Mask or Halo 3
  • What are your hobbies (other than gaming)?
    • I dj and produce electronic music, bread baking, lots of reading, crosswords
didn't really allow myself to consider that I might not be just straight til relatively later and since then haven't been in many life positions to explore it, but still would like to connect with some sort of community, so hi
hey boo let's collab xoxo
 

Leo

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,205
Why not? I’m not attracted to most of my friends, doesn’t mean they are uninteresting to talk to.
That is not what I meant. Friendship can happen regardless of how attractive the person is, obviously.

I was trying to say that when a total stranger that you never met in person and only talked to you in a dating app want to be friends with you is because they have second intentions. They wouldn't ask to be friends with random people in the app, they only want that because they are attracted to the person. Do you think this person would open a chat with someone they found unnatractive and ask them to grab coffee and be friends?

Friendship happens naturally, I find it weird when people I haven't met and haven't talked much to ask to be friends.
 
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phonicjoy

Member
Jun 19, 2018
2,407
That is not what I meant. Friendship can happen regardless of how attractive the person is, obviously.

I was trying to say that when a total stranger that you never met in person and only talked to you in a dating app want to be friends with you is because they have second intentions. They wouldn't ask to be friends with random people in the app, they only want that because they are attracted to the person. Do you think this person would open a chat with someone they found unnatractive and ask them to grab coffee and be friends?

Friendship happens naturally, I find it weird when people I haven't met and haven't talked much to ask to be friends.
i misread you. Yeah, sure. Although I have tried to make friends though OkCupid, if I see that’s something they are looking for on their profile, and they seem interesting. Not by asking them for a coffee immediatly, no.
 

fireflame

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,003
a young teenager girl called Mila, 16 years old and homosexual, criticized violently islam. She is now getting violent death threats. Minister of justice, Nicole Belloubet in France said blasphemy hurts freedom of consciousness. Most people support Mila but that minister caused controversy by saying blasphemy hurts freedom of consciousness.
Everyone hasz the right to criticize religion and this scandal is quite huge.
Mia is getting threats both for criticizing religion and being lesbian. I thought it was worth posting this here.
 

CyberWolfJV

Member
Apr 5, 2019
3,250
Brazil
Hello!
  • Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?)
Male
  • Your sexual orientation?
Gay
  • Where Are You From?
Brazil!
  • Where Do You Live?
still Brazil ^^'
  • How Old Are you?
27
  • Favorite Type of Music?
Honestly.. uuh.. I can't say for sure, but I do listen a lot of video game music :p
  • Profession or Career interest?
Well, officially unemployed, but I do write for a friend's site and I run my YouTube channel
  • Favorite video game(s)?
So many... Super Mario Bros. 3, Sonic the Hedgehog (Master System), Crash Twinsanity, Street Fighter Alpha 2, Kingdom Hearts II, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and the list goes on
  • What are your hobbies (other than gaming)?
I like write about stuff I'm enthusiast, drawing and playing with my pet cat :p
 

DyByHands

Member
Jul 16, 2018
664
Ok, small story time:

So, I noticed this guy at work and I was instantly interested. A school yard crush, if you would. We dont technically work together but in the same building. I dont really ever even see him. I got his name and then found his facebook and instagram. I snooped around those and didnt find anything that pointed to straight/gay anything. So I dm’d him on instagram. I kept it pretty friendly. And never got any response. It doesn’t even say “seen” or “read” or anything. His page doesnt really seem active at all. Maybe it hasnt been opened, idk.
But whatever, im over it. So over it that I then found his twitter and a youtube. I know that may seem stalker’ish. But, thats how social media is. Now judging by the twitter and youtube this dude is straight, of course. And not just straight but like “bro” material with hints of homophobia. :(
So now I am wondering, did he see my dm and just kept on? Or is my dm still there waiting to be opened by this dude?
lol fml. I just had to vent here a little.
 

Leo

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,205
Ok, small story time:

So, I noticed this guy at work and I was instantly interested. A school yard crush, if you would. We dont technically work together but in the same building. I dont really ever even see him. I got his name and then found his facebook and instagram. I snooped around those and didnt find anything that pointed to straight/gay anything. So I dm’d him on instagram. I kept it pretty friendly. And never got any response. It doesn’t even say “seen” or “read” or anything. His page doesnt really seem active at all. Maybe it hasnt been opened, idk.
But whatever, im over it. So over it that I then found his twitter and a youtube. I know that may seem stalker’ish. But, thats how social media is. Now judging by the twitter and youtube this dude is straight, of course. And not just straight but like “bro” material with hints of homophobia. :(
So now I am wondering, did he see my dm and just kept on? Or is my dm still there waiting to be opened by this dude?
lol fml. I just had to vent here a little.
Just talk to him in person with a random excuse, and mention you had DMd him about that.

I wouldn't bother though, straight people have to realize they live in a world where queer people exist and can be attracted to them just like they are attracted to the opposite sex.
 

X05

Member
Oct 25, 2017
461
Hope it gets better. Cheering for you! ୧(﹒︠ᴗ﹒︡)୨
Thanks, much appreciated :D

Ok, small story time:

So, I noticed this guy at work and I was instantly interested. A school yard crush, if you would. We dont technically work together but in the same building. I dont really ever even see him. I got his name and then found his facebook and instagram. I snooped around those and didnt find anything that pointed to straight/gay anything. So I dm’d him on instagram. I kept it pretty friendly. And never got any response. It doesn’t even say “seen” or “read” or anything. His page doesnt really seem active at all. Maybe it hasnt been opened, idk.
But whatever, im over it. So over it that I then found his twitter and a youtube. I know that may seem stalker’ish. But, thats how social media is. Now judging by the twitter and youtube this dude is straight, of course. And not just straight but like “bro” material with hints of homophobia. :(
So now I am wondering, did he see my dm and just kept on? Or is my dm still there waiting to be opened by this dude?
lol fml. I just had to vent here a little.
Instagram has a "Seen" text after the last message if it has been read but not responded.
If it isn't there then he hasn't even opened the DMs.
 

DyByHands

Member
Jul 16, 2018
664
Just talk to him in person with a random excuse, and mention you had DMd him about that.

I wouldn't bother though, straight people have to realize they live in a world where queer people exist and can be attracted to them just like they are attracted to the opposite sex.
I need to.


Thanks, much appreciated :D


Instagram has a "Seen" text after the last message if it has been read but not responded.
If it isn't there then he hasn't even opened the DMs.
I know of the seen label but didnt know if its still a thing if you dont follow each other. My age is showing, lol
 

Ed.

Member
Oct 25, 2017
393
It is weird how so many gays in my life are obsessed with Halloween and horror movies in general. I have seen so many bad horror movies recently. The Turning was so bad.
 

Bee.Cups

The Fallen
I keep having co-workers getting obsessed with me. I'm very open about only liking girls and also that I don't date co-workers but it doesn't stop the guys from hitting on me.

One of the went particularly hard and even drastically changed his appearance overnight because of an offhand comment I made about not liking beards.
The guy I'm dealing with now said he's okay just being friends but keeps asking me to dinner anyways and I cam barely talk around him because he'll turn anything I say into a comment about how much he'd like us to be together.

There's not really such a thing as HR where I work and I can't quit because I'm an apprentice (not his).

Any advice?
 

lenovox1

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,142
I keep having co-workers getting obsessed with me. I'm very open about only liking girls and also that I don't date co-workers but it doesn't stop the guys from hitting on me.

One of the went particularly hard and even drastically changed his appearance overnight because of an offhand comment I made about not liking beards.
The guy I'm dealing with now said he's okay just being friends but keeps asking me to dinner anyways and I cam barely talk around him because he'll turn anything I say into a comment about how much he'd like us to be together.

There's not really such a thing as HR where I work and I can't quit because I'm an apprentice (not his).

Any advice?
You can't be fun or engaging around then anymore. You're going to have to turn blunt, and any passing comment from them has to first be ignored, then acknowledged as inappropriate.

It seems like they have a little competition going on, TBH, whether it's explicit and out in the open or private.
 

Bee.Cups

The Fallen
You can't be fun or engaging around then anymore. You're going to have to turn blunt, and any passing comment from them has to first be ignored, then acknowledged as inappropriate.

It seems like they have a little competition going on, TBH, whether it's explicit and out in the open or private.
The one who was changing their appearance actually got fired for unrelated things, and then this guy started hitting on me. Another guy let it go immediately which was nice.

Okay, so you think stopping being so cheery when dealing with this guy will help? I can definitely try.
 

daripad

The Fallen
Oct 29, 2017
600
Hello people.

Out of curiosity, what are you doing tomorrow with your partners? Did you plan something?

Also, single people can say what they're going to do tomorrow, it's Friday so some of you may go to a bar or something 🤷
 

lokiduck

The Fallen
Mar 27, 2019
2,911
Washington
Single here. I'm going to be playing a VD event in one of my games (what's left of it) and reading a book. I may also do something with my mom since she's sick and stuck at home with me, but we'll see.
 

RatskyWatsky

Pesky Therizinosaurus
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
8,705
Hello people.

Out of curiosity, what are you doing tomorrow with your partners? Did you plan something?

Also, single people can say what they're going to do tomorrow, it's Friday so some of you may go to a bar or something 🤷
I asked myself if I'd be my valentine and I said yes~



to celebrate, I'm making a dual layer chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream frosting topped with fresh raspberries



I think it's going to be a romantic day

 

daripad

The Fallen
Oct 29, 2017
600

Delphine

Baby, Pink is my favourite part
Moderator
Mar 30, 2018
2,365
France
In a couple here, just gifted a present to my SO and we ordered some fancy expansive sushis and ate it at home in a comfy way, watching TV shows. I'm now gonna bake an apple cake to end it all. Usually we're mostly chill about it, I just like to buy something if I have a good idea for something (which I had this year), but there are years where I have no clue what to offer so I just focus on making good food, baking stuff, or going to a restaurant if by miracle we're feeling social enough for that. It's nothing set in stone, and it depends on the mood of the moment, and might greatly vary from one year to the other.
 
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Thequietone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,530
I swear each year is worse than the last for me. I have to move soon again...and what makes it worst is that I owe a lot in taxes, so much that it's almost half of my savings. No one seems to want to help except this religious person at my job offered her place but I'm afraid even that won't be an option if she finds put I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community. I've been homeless before and while I'd rather find any alternative I guess it won't be all bad...I just hate putting my cat in a shelter because the street is no place for him but he is also very scared of any human that isn't me.
 

Marsy

Member
Dec 4, 2018
139
I swear each year is worse than the last for me. I have to move soon again...and what makes it worst is that I owe a lot in taxes, so much that it's almost half of my savings. No one seems to want to help except this religious person at my job offered her place but I'm afraid even that won't be an option if she finds put I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community. I've been homeless before and while I'd rather find any alternative I guess it won't be all bad...I just hate putting my cat in a shelter because the street is no place for him but he is also very scared of any human that isn't me.
Where are you now?
 

Thequietone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,530
California bay area with my brother but it's temporary. Like probably until March temporary. I don't make enough to rent on my own and people never even respond when I go through room mate ads. Most people are just telling me good luck and that's it. What'll probably happen is I'll be on the street again and I'll just have to find something for my cat. Sucks but if I survived it once I can do it again. My birthday is soon, what a great birthday present. So glad Im on medication because I don't think I could handle this alone.