LGBTQera |ERA1| (We're Queer)

Leo

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,302
So I know I'm going to regret posting....but

I'm gay (or bi...but gay seems a lot less complicated, lol). I'm currently 34 and haven't been in a proper relationship in a long ass time. The reason I say I might be bi is because growing up, I legitimately was attracted to girls. And I had a crush on a female friend of mine back in high school and spent a lot of my time scheming ways to be around her. A few years ago, I got jealous when I saw on FB that she was in a relationship. But anyway, as I got older, my attraction to girls faded and my attraction to guys increased.

Fast forward to a few months ago. I had an epiphany, and decided to act on my attraction to guys (sorta pushed to do this after my mom asked if I had a girlfriend for the millionth time). So about a month ago, I went on a date....with a guy. It was the most surreal experience of my entire life. In my head, I just kept repeating, "I'm on a date with a guy. I'm on a date with a guy." I enjoyed the date (or at least did a good job pretending to), but we said our goodbyes and that was that. So that was the first step. Now, I'm seeing this guy who lives in another city. We "met" on a dating app. I say "met" because -- ironically -- we're from the same hometown AND went to the same church as kids. Two gay guys meeting in church. Imagine that! lol

Anyway, I really like him and I think he really likes me. I don't know if he was joking but he said that he didn't think I was actually gay. Now that I think about it, he might have been trying to get me to make a pass at him, but he basically outlined everything "straight" about me. We were talking about something and I think I finally "convinced" him (I think it was porn related, lol). Anyway, I finally got up the courage to make a pass at him (I was slightly drunk, lol) and he was totally receptive...so that felt good. He was giving me every green light but I was just too nervous.

So, I'm trying to get up the courage to tell my family. I start to tear up every time I think about it because it's like walking into the unknown. And at some point, I want to be completely out (like marriage and a kid and whatnot). Which means that at some point. I've got to stop pretending that I'm straight. My friends joke that I have a secret girlfriend that I'm not telling them about. And my other friend keeps trying to set me up with this friend of hers. But I think this one friend of mine may have had a slight suspicion I was gay after she asked if I had a girlfriend....and then after asking if I had a boyfriend. I acted so offended and insulted which in retrospect is one of the most embarrassing and pathetic moments of my life. Then she profusely apologized. Ugh. But I wasn't ready then! Let her ask me now! lol But honestly, it would be so much easier if everyone suspected that I were gay so I wouldn't have to stress about coming out. I just feel like I'm going to be looked at completely different by everyone even though I'm going to be the same person. I mean, I'm 34, unmarried and not in a relationship or even dating (as far as anyone knows because I haven't told anyone about this guy). So on some level, people should suspect something, right? lol

Anyway, I think I'm just going to write a letter to my parents. I got the idea from this gay YouTuber I watch. I get to emotional every time I try to compose it. I'll eventually get it done (hopefully).

So I guess that by posting this to an online community that I frequent (where some people know me), I'm forcing myself -- on some level -- to get used to people knowing that I'm gay. I'm legit scared and I'm even tearing up a bit while writing this post knowing that I'm getting closer and closer to having to hit "post reply." It's that walk into the unknown again. But, I have to start somewhere I guess. Anyway, thanks to all who read this. If you have any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it (I've basically watched every coming out video on YouTube so I'm trying to soak up as much info as I can).
I might sound harsh, but, honestly, I think this is a bigger deal in your head then in reality. You're 34, sounds independent, and by what you said, most of your acquaintances have considered the possibility that you might be gay, specially your parents. This all contributes to a smooth coming out, and how you're gonna deal with the difficulties (if any) is really only up to you, cause, again, you're adult and independent. It's a very good position to be in, I think you just need to be firm and calm and go on with it.

I came out at 18, and that was 11 years ago, it's a different time now. Kids these days come out at 13, 14. You can do this. Good luck!
 

MIMIC

Member
Dec 18, 2017
3,732
I might sound harsh, but, honestly, I think this is a bigger deal in your head then in reality. You're 34, sounds independent, and by what you said, most of your acquaintances have considered the possibility that you might be gay, specially your parents. This all contributes to a smooth coming out, and how you're gonna deal with the difficulties (if any) is really only up to you, cause, again, you're adult and independent. It's a very good position to be in, I think you just need to be firm and calm and go on with it.

I came out at 18, and that was 11 years ago, it's a different time now. Kids these days come out at 13, 14. You can do this. Good luck!
It probably is all in my head. I've tried to stop thinking about it so much but I can't help it! lol

I'm 100% independent but I would at the very least want (need) the support of my mom (and my dad as well). Also, the friend I mentioned: that was the first time in my entire life that someone -- at least to my face -- suggested I was gay, and it caught me completely off guard.

Also, I'm really big into sports (my tennis league played the national competition last year) and although I can probably handle it, I'm sort of dreading when they find out. I wouldn't call them homophobic or anything, but I'm still a little nervous about it.

edit: I think I might tell my brother first and see how that goes...
 

Leo

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,302
It probably is all in my head. I've tried to stop thinking about it so much but I can't help it! lol

I'm 100% independent but I would at the very least want (need) the support of my mom (and my dad as well). Also, the friend I mentioned: that was the first time in my entire life that someone -- at least to my face -- suggested I was gay, and it caught me completely off guard.

Also, I'm really big into sports (my tennis league played the national competition last year) and although I can probably handle it, I'm sort of dreading when they find out. I wouldn't call them homophobic or anything, but I'm still a little nervous about it.

edit: I think I might tell my brother first and see how that goes...
The fact that people never asked you doesn't mean they never consider you could be gay. None of my friends ever asked me about it, but most of them told me they already knew when I told them.

My parents never asked me directly either, but, like yours, they had asked me about girlfriends before, and my dad told me he already knew when I came out. It wasn't easy, they were pretty elderly already at the time (60+) and my mom was very difficult in the beginning, to the point that I thought she would never change her opinion and accept me. She is a very difficult person all around and I never had (and still don't have) a good relationship with her (for reasons other than me being gay), but fast forward to today and she doesn't mind me being gay at all, she is actually really fond of my husband (as much as she can be fond of anyone). My dad was supportive since the very beginning, and has my husband like his own son.

Bear in mind that they aren't liberal people at all, they are even bigoted in many aspects, but this is just how things tend to be, you're their family, and, unless they have serious issues, they will want to still have their son in their lives, and will find their own answers to deal with the situation.

As for fear that some of your friends might leave you... Fuck them if they do. This is the oldest cliche in the world, but it's also the truest: if they don't support you, they weren't really your friends to begin with. When you come out you inevitable expose yourself to many different kinds of people, and you will end up making a lot of new friends and losing contact with others anyway. I lost one very close friend in this process (part of it was my fault, because he reached to me years after I came out and said he was sorry for stepping away, and at that point I didn't have the energy to try and work things out with him again, so are still distant), but I kept some of the best ones too, and made new ones as well.

I have openly lived as a gay man for a decade now, and you will find out it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme for a lot of people. I have worked in 4 or 5 different places and in all of them they knew about me, never had major problems. I do have to deal with unpleasant situations here and there, and sometimes things are much harder for us than they would be for a straight person, but this is part of being queer, unfortunately. On the other hand, we are blessed because we are all resilient people who learn to deal with these problems since early age, and that makes us strong to tackle anything that life puts ahead of us. There's something uplifting and incredible about living your life on your own terms, regardless of what rotten conformist society thinks. This is what pride is about. It's a crazy ride, but it's also a deliciously delightful one.

Good times are ahead of you, don't miss out anymore :)
 

Thequietone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,671
So I found out recently that my last ex has been going to bars and getting drunk and blabbing to strangers about my sexual preferences and other secrets I entrusted to them (plus lies). Shits just not right. It ended up getting to someone I know and now they're asking questions about what it's like to be bi. I'm fine with the questions but I'd obviously prefer coming out when Im ready.
 

MasaDrew

Member
Jun 20, 2019
69
It probably is all in my head. I've tried to stop thinking about it so much but I can't help it! lol

I'm 100% independent but I would at the very least want (need) the support of my mom (and my dad as well). Also, the friend I mentioned: that was the first time in my entire life that someone -- at least to my face -- suggested I was gay, and it caught me completely off guard.

Also, I'm really big into sports (my tennis league played the national competition last year) and although I can probably handle it, I'm sort of dreading when they find out. I wouldn't call them homophobic or anything, but I'm still a little nervous about it.

edit: I think I might tell my brother first and see how that goes...
What eventually got me around to coming out was telling myself that if people were going to bail out of my life after the fact, then they weren't truly worth having in my life beforehand. Admittedly it was harder to come out to friends but after the first one it just rolled out from there.

So I found out recently that my last ex has been going to bars and getting drunk and blabbing to strangers about my sexual preferences and other secrets I entrusted to them (plus lies). Shits just not right. It ended up getting to someone I know and now they're asking questions about what it's like to be bi. I'm fine with the questions but I'd obviously prefer coming out when Im ready.
Its cruddy yeah. There's only one ex that i've completely cut out of my life. After we broke up he twisted up an entire story in an attempt to spread negative things about me. Problem is most of the circles he ran around all knew me as well, and anyone that did believe him I didn't really know mariah carey style. Unfortunately he burned all of his bridges in town and now lives in California.

My last Ex...probably hear more about him than the other way around. I'm sure there's nary a corner of the Eagle he hasn't had sex in publicly.


-----------------------

In other news as of this weekend I have been dating this amazing guy for 6 months. Taking our time and really enjoying ourselves.

 

jeelybeans

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,825
While were talking about coming out, any resources? I know HRC has it's guides that are even specific to communities of color and religious communities. Any others people recommend?
 

RM8

Member
Oct 28, 2017
4,460
JP
Embarrassing dating nonsense ahead!

I'm seeing this guy I met about a month ago, I posted about our first date here. This weekend we'll meet for the 4th time, it's always been a blast and I don't feel like his attitude has changed in person. But it concerns me a tiny little bit that after our first date our texting became really, really slow. It went from 10 to 1. I also take my own time to answer, that's not a problem, but it was not like that at first, so I don't know... plus I feel like his texts became less flirtatious. This might be all on me tbh, I'm the absolute worst at flirting so he might feel like I'm not that into him? But really - we're planning a hiking trip next Sunday, the last text I sent was at 12:13, it's on read, and he hasn't answered at 21:26 :x

Which is fine. It might sound like it the opposite, but I really understand if he's busy and I don't demand people to text me. The thing is - I'm getting a lot of messages on Grindr now that I'm seeing someone, lol. And these guys message me a lot! I feel like communication with a guy I'm seeing, and who might be into me, shouldn't be much slower than my communication with these guys who I haven't even met.

Anyway - I'll just tell him straight that I like him this weekend, and worst case scenario, we remain friends and I date one of these guys I've been texting on Grindr :P
 
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MIMIC

Member
Dec 18, 2017
3,732
So there's this guy at work that I have a crush on. Before I came to the conclusion that I was gay, we were talking one day and he was like, "You look better with a beard." I didn't really think anything of it, but fast-forward to today and I'm pleading with God that he's gay, too. lol There's a VERY slim chance that he's gay (I mean, he very well could be....I don't know either way) so I'm not getting my hopes up. BUT.....today, he came by my office just to chat. Mind you, his office is downstairs and he has NEVER come up just to chat with me before. I mean, we are definitely office buddies so it wouldn't be crazy for him to come up to chat on a Friday. I always go downstairs to chat some people and I sometimes drop by his office.

When we were done, I tried to be very discreet and subtle and I said, "It was good seeing you." (I NEVER end conversations with friends like that). Discreet enough to where I could deny that it meant anything, but different enough to where I was saying, "I love you." LOL

He's like the perfect guy. Handsome, silly, smart, etc. We have a mutual friend, and I'm going to do a more in depth scouting report on him, lol.

EDIT:Last week, I made up an excuse to just drop by his office and had like a 10-minute conversation with another co-worker. After we were done, I walk by his office and saw on his board that he was out for the day. I was so pissed lol
 

Nigthwizard

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
301
Costa Rica
Embarrassing dating nonsense ahead!

I'm seeing this guy I met about a month ago, I posted about our first date here. This weekend we'll meet for the 4th time, it's always been a blast and I don't feel like his attitude has changed in person. But it concerns me a tiny little bit that after our first date our texting became really, really slow. It went from 10 to 1. I also take my own time to answer, that's not a problem, but it was not like that at first, so I don't know... plus I feel like his texts became less flirtatious. This might be all on me tbh, I'm the absolute worst at flirting so he might feel like I'm not that into him? But really - we're planning a hiking trip next Sunday, the last text I sent was at 12:13, it's on read, and he hasn't answered at 21:26 :x

Which is fine. It might sound like it the opposite, but I really understand if he's busy and I don't demand people to text me. The thing is - I'm getting a lot of messages on Grindr now that I'm seeing someone, lol. And these guys message me a lot! I feel like communication with a guy I'm seeing, and who might be into me, shouldn't be much slower than my communication with these guys who I haven't even met.

Anyway - I'll just tell him straight that I like him this weekend, and worst case scenario, we remain friends and I date one of these guys I've been texting on Grindr :P
Maybe he's getting used to be with you, I hope it works out.

So there's this guy at work that I have a crush on. Before I came to the conclusion that I was gay, we were talking one day and he was like, "You look better with a beard." I didn't really think anything of it, but fast-forward to today and I'm pleading with God that he's gay, too. lol There's a VERY slim chance that he's gay (I mean, he very well could be....I don't know either way) so I'm not getting my hopes up. BUT.....today, he came by my office just to chat. Mind you, his office is downstairs and he has NEVER come up just to chat with me before. I mean, we are definitely office buddies so it wouldn't be crazy for him to come up to chat on a Friday. I always go downstairs to chat some people and I sometimes drop by his office.

When we were done, I tried to be very discreet and subtle and I said, "It was good seeing you." (I NEVER end conversations with friends like that). Discreet enough to where I could deny that it meant anything, but different enough to where I was saying, "I love you." LOL

He's like the perfect guy. Handsome, silly, smart, etc. We have a mutual friend, and I'm going to do a more in depth scouting report on him, lol.

EDIT:Last week, I made up an excuse to just drop by his office and had like a 10-minute conversation with another co-worker. After we were done, I walk by his office and saw on his board that he was out for the day. I was so pissed lol
Why don't you try meeting him outside work and test the waters? Have fun!
 

CharGP02A

Member
Nov 23, 2017
1,737
Been recovering from Facial Feminization Surgery for over a week now. Recovery ain't nothing to fuck with. I was a puffer fish for a few days. Can't eat solids until next week. So far, no setbacks though.
 

MIMIC

Member
Dec 18, 2017
3,732
Maybe he's getting used to be with you, I hope it works out.


Why don't you try meeting him outside work and test the waters? Have fun!
Technically we have, but there were always other coworkers around. My boss had a housewarming party and he was there as well. Then 4 of us (my crush included) went out to this "cafe" afterwards for a few. And we've gone out to lunch a few times...again, with other coworkers. lol.

Also, I've been subtly dropping hints that I was gay (before I become more public and open about it) and he -- of all people -- picked up on one of my hints. And he asked me about it. But this was in front of a group of people. I had a bulletproof explanation all lined up (just in case anyone asked), so everyone just went, "Oh." If he had asked me one-one-one, I MIGHT have told him. But definitely not in front of a group of my coworkers. Not yet at least.

Anyway....

So....this Grindr app. I've heard so many wonderful things about it! lol I downloaded it the other day. Unsolicited ass/dick pics, faceless strangers messaging you....it's crazy. But I just presume that the app is mostly about hook-ups, but I figured why not give it a shot.

I get a message from this super hot guy....IN MY AREA. We chat a bit, Facetime a bit and just sorta size each other up. Before we FaceTimed, he sent me an unsolicited shirtless pic that did 2 things: 1) made me lose my breath lol, and 2) made me think he just wanted to hook up. So I explained to him that I wasn't interested in hooking up and he wasn't either (???) and is looking to date. Cool.

So the next day, I sorta invite myself over (since he seemed to be a pretty bold individual, I tried something bold myself). He's totally into it and asks if I wanna come over to watch a movie. I'm down and I'm getting ready to come over. We're on the phone at the time, and he tells me that he needs to finish an assignment for his class (he's in community college right now) and asks if we can do it tomorrow. I say cool.

Next day, I message him and he messages back....and then says that he just wants to be friends. I'm like WTF. I thought he was totally into me. So I'm super bummed and I ask him if I did something wrong. Then he drops a bombshell: he's a convicted felon. And he says that he didn't think a person like me would want to be with a convicted felon. And then he tells me what he did, and I'm like fuuuuuuuuuuucccccccc. And his story checks out; I looked him up online and sure enough, there he is. So I give it some thought and tell him that it's probably good that we just stay friends. In my line of work, it would look really, really bad on me (especially considering the nature of the crime) so, although it really killed me to break off the potential relationship, it's just something I had to do.

Thanks, Grindr! -___-
 

MIMIC

Member
Dec 18, 2017
3,732
Tried to pick up a minor when he was 21. He could have been on How to Catch a Predator -____-
 

Dany

Member
Oct 29, 2017
2,819
seattle
Myvhusband and I have been trying to cancel flights and hotels for our honeymoon in may.

I hope everyone here is ok! I'm a RN in Seattle. Let me know if your have questions please in what you do!!


I hope eve
 

Dany

Member
Oct 29, 2017
2,819
seattle
My husband and I have been trying to cancel flights and hotels for our honeymoon in may. So..

I hope everyone here is ok! I'm a RN in Seattle. Let me know if your have questions please in what you do!!

DM ME
 

RM8

Member
Oct 28, 2017
4,460
JP
Maybe he's getting used to be with you, I hope it works out.
Update time! I don't really have any gay friends here in Tokyo so I hope you guys don't mind me venting here :P

We texted a lot on Saturday, he sent me pics of his grandma so I guess things could be going way worse, lol. We went out today, we had Turkish food and then went for coffee. It was so much fun :3 And today was the first time he actually tried to speak a little bit in Spanish. We couldn't go hiking this weekend because it was snowy/rainy, so we left that for next week.

Anyway - I'll just tell him straight that I like him this weekend.
I did not :D Maybe next time. Everything was just so perfect today, I didn't want to potentially ruin that.

Thanks, Grindr! -___-
Wow that sucks :x Man, it's a shame because finding someone you like is already hard, and then these things happen. I honestly would have done the same.
 

MIMIC

Member
Dec 18, 2017
3,732
You cannot make this shit up. Met a guy earlier today (off Grindr, of course) and he had a very brief interaction with the convicted guy, too. Like....what is going on with my life right now? lol

Anyway, I left out some details, but we both felt the same way about this guy and concluded that we dodged a bullet. He was problematic even without the criminal past.
 

Nigthwizard

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
301
Costa Rica
In other news as of this weekend I have been dating this amazing guy for 6 months. Taking our time and really enjoying ourselves.
Congrats, you look great together. I love the dog's face on that picture

I did not :D Maybe next time. Everything was just so perfect today, I didn't want to potentially ruin that.
At least you had fun, you can tell him when you're ready.

You cannot make this shit up. Met a guy earlier today (off Grindr, of course) and he had a very brief interaction with the convicted guy, too. Like....what is going on with my life right now? lol
Maybe you should try to check your profile, it's looking like a pattern there...
 

MasaDrew

Member
Jun 20, 2019
69
Update time! I don't really have any gay friends here in Tokyo so I hope you guys don't mind me venting here :P

We texted a lot on Saturday, he sent me pics of his grandma so I guess things could be going way worse, lol. We went out today, we had Turkish food and then went for coffee. It was so much fun :3 And today was the first time he actually tried to speak a little bit in Spanish. We couldn't go hiking this weekend because it was snowy/rainy, so we left that for next week.
Sometimes decline in affection over text can happen. If you dig him and you're possibly taking it as a sign that the absence of that or frequency of communication is him pulling back then make it known.

Related but not really, I have a skewed view on affection. Thanks to emotionally abusive relationships in the past if someone isn't 'routinely' affectionate over a period of time it sets off alarm bells. Defensive mechanisms come alive. And for me, a guy whose love language caters more to words of affirmation, physical touch etc I can get sensitive to it. But at the same time i've been able to unpack a lot of that, as well as my own toxic behavior ie using affection to receive validation/affirmation.

My guy...is interesting. In person he really makes me feel really damn special. Over text - which due to schedules in distance makes up most of our convos until we visit - he'll definitely have his moments where hes super affectionate and talkative. And some days not. It took a while for me to recognize my own patterns of behavior and to realize that the switch just aint on all the time (for anybody really). Self reflection really helped and to be honest i'm really happy now.

Enough time has passed that I realized sometimes he's straight up aloof and oblivious, which helps XD
 

Thequietone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,671
So I'm officially homeless for the time being. Corona virus panic got to my sis in law and she threw me out tonight on short notice. (Im not sick) Gave my cat a big a hug and left him there. I won't carry him around with me, not fair to him. Gathered a couple of bags full of my stuff but most of my stuff is still there. At work currently and hoping a coworker offers a place to stay but if not I'll probably stay at hotel. Don't feel like sleeping on the street right now. She said I can come back after the virus stuff is over but who knows when that will be.
 

Sibylus

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,756
So I'm officially homeless for the time being. Corona virus panic got to my sis in law and she threw me out tonight on short notice. (Im not sick) Gave my cat a big a hug and left him there. I won't carry him around with me, not fair to him. Gathered a couple of bags full of my stuff but most of my stuff is still there. At work currently and hoping a coworker offers a place to stay but if not I'll probably stay at hotel. Don't feel like sleeping on the street right now. She said I can come back after the virus stuff is over but who knows when that will be.
Your sister in law is a fucking monstrous human being.
 

Thequietone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,671
Your sister in law is a fucking monstrous human being.
Seriously, what the fuck...
She's just scared. I blame the media. She can't work because of an illness she has, so she's home all day and in consequence she watches the news 24/7. I am not even worried about myself I've been homeless before and I had less resources back then than I do now. I'm mostly worried about my cat. I know he expects me to come through that door tomorrow and I won't. He only trusts me and I'm worried that he'll think I abandoned him. Corona virus makes it difficult to move too. They said they'll feed him and take care of his needs but I can't help but think he might not accept food from them. I've cried twice for him now.
 

MIMIC

Member
Dec 18, 2017
3,732
Maybe you should try to check your profile, it's looking like a pattern there...
Well I wouldn't call it a pattern. It's just very weird that we both somehow ended up chatting with the same guy.

Anyway....I'm officially gay (at least that's what I've been telling myself). Me and this guy hung out last night and I had a couple of firsts: never kissed a guy before and never did...other stuff with a guy before (lol, we didn't have sex per se....but, yeah).

He's a very sweet guy and kept asking me if I was OK or if I felt uncomfortable (he literally asked me at least a dozen times, lol). I'm still sort of processing what happened, but I did ultimately enjoy it.

So I'm officially homeless for the time being. Corona virus panic got to my sis in law and she threw me out tonight on short notice. (Im not sick) Gave my cat a big a hug and left him there. I won't carry him around with me, not fair to him. Gathered a couple of bags full of my stuff but most of my stuff is still there. At work currently and hoping a coworker offers a place to stay but if not I'll probably stay at hotel. Don't feel like sleeping on the street right now. She said I can come back after the virus stuff is over but who knows when that will be.
OMG, that's awful! Is there a backstory to this? (that you may have already posted that you can link to). Hopefully you do find a place to stay. I'm so sorry this happened to you!
 

Thequietone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,671
Well I wouldn't call it a pattern. It's just very weird that we both somehow ended up chatting with the same guy.

Anyway....I'm officially gay (at least that's what I've been telling myself). Me and this guy hung out last night and I had a couple of firsts: never kissed a guy before and never did...other stuff with a guy before (lol, we didn't have sex per se....but, yeah).

He's a very sweet guy and kept asking me if I was OK or if I felt uncomfortable (he literally asked me at least a dozen times, lol). I'm still sort of processing what happened, but I did ultimately enjoy it.



OMG, that's awful! Is there a backstory to this? (that you may have already posted that you can link to). Hopefully you do find a place to stay. I'm so sorry this happened to you!
Long story. I attempted suicide because of my ex and then she locked me up in a mental ward for over two weeks and my family didn't know anything. I came out with a determined will to live. Had therapy and medication prescribed to me (which Im about to run out of. Lost my medical coverage.) Been living with my brother and his wife for awhile. Tried to move out but it's difficult to afford a place by myself and my brother won't allow me to leave "with strangers" so room mates are out of the question. They wanted me out for awhile. Even though I don't think they can afford me not paying rent. She's paranoid about the virus because she watches the news 24/7 and believing conspiracy theories. So now I'm sitting here on the sidewalk with no place to stay. Hotel won't give me a room for another 7 hours which sucks because I worked graveyard. No one has offered a place to crash so I guess I have to try and stay awake until then.
 

MIMIC

Member
Dec 18, 2017
3,732
Long story. I attempted suicide because of my ex and then she locked me up in a mental ward for over two weeks and my family didn't know anything. I came out with a determined will to live. Had therapy and medication prescribed to me (which Im about to run out of. Lost my medical coverage.) Been living with my brother and his wife for awhile. Tried to move out but it's difficult to afford a place by myself and my brother won't allow me to leave "with strangers" so room mates are out of the question. They wanted me out for awhile. Even though I don't think they can afford me not paying rent. She's paranoid about the virus because she watches the news 24/7 and believing conspiracy theories. So now I'm sitting here on the sidewalk with no place to stay. Hotel won't give me a room for another 7 hours which sucks because I worked graveyard. No one has offered a place to crash so I guess I have to try and stay awake until then.
I can only imagine what you are and have been going through. I'm just glad that you're still here with us. Stay strong! Anyway, I would just try and camp out inside the hotel lobby until they let you get your room. I remember when my check in wasn't for a few hours and I found a spot with some chairs and just took a nap.
 

Thequietone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,671
I can only imagine what you are and have been going through. I'm just glad that you're still here with us. Stay strong! Anyway, I would just try and camp out inside the hotel lobby until they let you get your room. I remember when my check in wasn't for a few hours and I found a spot with some chairs and just took a nap.
Thanks. I'm glad I survived my attempt too. I actually got an airbnb that ended up being cheaper. Heading there now.
 

Thequietone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,671
It sucks your had to get through all of this.

You're so strong
That's good. I was gonna suggest hanging around a library or something but a lot of them are closing... :/
Thanks everyone. It's going to suck jumping from air bnb to the next, especially if this virus stuff gets worse, but it's better than the streets again. Every year seems to be worse than the last ever since my suicide attempt. I just want things to get better soon.
 
Nov 13, 2017
6,430
I hope we get to a place, as a society, where people who are HIV positive can come out on social media and be met with the same amount of support and kindness that people testing positive for COVID-19 are.
 

Thequietone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,671
I'm not sure if anyone wants an update on my situation, but it's pretty much the same as before. I reserved a second bnb to stay at but not really sure how long I can keep doing that. Still going to work, we're staying open at least until the 30th. After that though we're not sure. Probably staying open for the whole thing. I have a feeling my entire savings will be wiped out by this virus.

Edit: One of my coworkers came back from vacation and offered their place. They have a spare room. Im still taking the air bnb for the week because I can only get 50% refund if I cancel.
 
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Agar25

Member
Apr 12, 2018
7,365
Stay safe out there everyone, I really want to recommend this new show on Netflix it’s only six episodes from the comedian Mae Martin. It is very VERY good

 

Nigthwizard

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
301
Costa Rica
I'm not sure if anyone wants an update on my situation, but it's pretty much the same as before. I reserved a second bnb to stay at but not really sure how long I can keep doing that. Still going to work, we're staying open at least until the 30th. After that though we're not sure. Probably staying open for the whole thing. I have a feeling my entire savings will be wiped out by this virus.

Edit: One of my coworkers came back from vacation and offered their place. They have a spare room. Im still taking the air bnb for the week because I can only get 50% refund if I cancel.
That's great news.

I hope you can hang in there!
 

EdibleKnife

Member
Oct 29, 2017
5,070
Stay safe out there everyone, I really want to recommend this new show on Netflix it’s only six episodes from the comedian Mae Martin. It is very VERY good

Putting on my watchlist! Thanks for recommending it!

Speaking of distractions while staying in, anyone reading more and looking for comics, I recently found out about this database site called Queer Comics Database that is a search engine for LGBTQ+ graphic novels. Works as a search engine allowing you to search by genre, tone and even style.
 

MasaDrew

Member
Jun 20, 2019
69
Because of Atlanta's stay at home orders and murmurings of drivers getting fined if they don't have an Essential Workers Form I had to cancel seeing the BF in Chattanooga this coming weekend. Not the end of the world, and more importantly either of us could possibly be asymptomatic so staying home is the wiser choice. Still sucks.

It's weird how dealerships are considered "Essential", thanks to just the service and repair side of the business. I'm in registration so there's still a lot for me to do and ensure folks can drive legally when they need to. Sales is a ghost town, seems people have a enough sense that a luxury vehicle may not be the best purchase during this climate -_-

The self isolation has really hit the nail on the head of me being an introvert. Unless the BF or friends invite me to do something i'm completely happy coming home from work, exercising, working on art and playing games.
 

Shiloh

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,662
Because of Atlanta's stay at home orders and murmurings of drivers getting fined if they don't have an Essential Workers Form I had to cancel seeing the BF in Chattanooga this coming weekend. Not the end of the world, and more importantly either of us could possibly be asymptomatic so staying home is the wiser choice. Still sucks.

It's weird how dealerships are considered "Essential", thanks to just the service and repair side of the business. I'm in registration so there's still a lot for me to do and ensure folks can drive legally when they need to. Sales is a ghost town, seems people have a enough sense that a luxury vehicle may not be the best purchase during this climate -_-

The self isolation has really hit the nail on the head of me being an introvert. Unless the BF or friends invite me to do something i'm completely happy coming home from work, exercising, working on art and playing games.
Was going to come in here and complain about being on cooped up with the partner for so long as a mild annoyance, but being completely apart is by far a worse impact.

I hear ya on the introvert part. I'm more than happy to have my day be work, gym, cook, video games.
 

Sheentak

Member
Oct 25, 2017
570
Hey I have a bit of a problem and I was wondering what you would suggest.

This is a nice problem to have really but I just wanted eras opinion.
Basically in the last few years through common hobbies and university I've made quite a few good trans and lgbt friends and they have kind of included me in thier group. I really am enjoying thier friendship and we share a love for things like magic, pokemon all sorts of nerdy interests in a chilled environment.

They have now started to invite me to go to lgbt spaces, like lgbt bars and lgbt gaming groups. I know they mean well and they just want to hang out but I feel kinda wierd going into these spaces as a straight cis guy. Like I know those spaces are not meant for me but at the same time I don't want to seem like a flake.

Just wondering what trans and lgbt era would suggest I do?
 

Raydonn

Member
Oct 25, 2017
247
Hey I have a bit of a problem and I was wondering what you would suggest.

This is a nice problem to have really but I just wanted eras opinion.
Basically in the last few years through common hobbies and university I've made quite a few good trans and lgbt friends and they have kind of included me in thier group. I really am enjoying thier friendship and we share a love for things like magic, pokemon all sorts of nerdy interests in a chilled environment.

They have now started to invite me to go to lgbt spaces, like lgbt bars and lgbt gaming groups. I know they mean well and they just want to hang out but I feel kinda wierd going into these spaces as a straight cis guy. Like I know those spaces are not meant for me but at the same time I don't want to seem like a flake.

Just wondering what trans and lgbt era would suggest I do?
(Under non-covid timeline.)
If you enjoy their company, go. They just want to be inclusive to people they like. The only difference from an LGBT place from a regular place is that LGBT-phobia isn't tolerated at all, and you might be hit on by genders you aren't used to.
 

MasaDrew

Member
Jun 20, 2019
69
Was going to come in here and complain about being on cooped up with the partner for so long as a mild annoyance, but being completely apart is by far a worse impact.

I hear ya on the introvert part. I'm more than happy to have my day be work, gym, cook, video games.
Yeah, especially since weekend before last we used the L word. Feelings are at a high and knowing it'll be a minute before I see him again is hitting hard.

Atleast I have daddy Kiryu and Yakuza 6 to keep me company.
 

Shiloh

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,662
Hey I have a bit of a problem and I was wondering what you would suggest.

This is a nice problem to have really but I just wanted eras opinion.
Basically in the last few years through common hobbies and university I've made quite a few good trans and lgbt friends and they have kind of included me in thier group. I really am enjoying thier friendship and we share a love for things like magic, pokemon all sorts of nerdy interests in a chilled environment.

They have now started to invite me to go to lgbt spaces, like lgbt bars and lgbt gaming groups. I know they mean well and they just want to hang out but I feel kinda wierd going into these spaces as a straight cis guy. Like I know those spaces are not meant for me but at the same time I don't want to seem like a flake.

Just wondering what trans and lgbt era would suggest I do?
Roll with it if you're comfortable. Shouldn't be an issue, but yeah, as the poster said above, don't freak out if you get hit on because the defiant assumption is different in those spaces.
 

MIMIC

Member
Dec 18, 2017
3,732
So I'm thinking of getting buzzed/drunk and texting my brother the "news" (that I'm gay, for those who haven't been following my story). The other day, I had my message all typed out, but just couldn't hit the send button. I need some liquid courage. Before I typed my message, he facetiously texted me a news article about younger brothers usually being the gay one (I'm the older one) and I took that as a sign that I need to do it.

Hopefully I'll do it by Sunday :-/