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LGBTQera |ERA1| (We're Queer)

egg

egg

The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
6,565
jb1234 said:
Any update on this?
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There are still some things being worked out and done but I decided to let him stay with me for a while. With his family abusing him and his ex taking all of his things he honestly has nothing left to go back too. He's already started applying to different jobs and you can just tell he feels better.

There are people calling me crazy for doing it, telling me to leave him and let him worry about his own shit but I'm not like that. So right now everything is much better!
 
RatskyWatsky

RatskyWatsky

Are we human or are we dancer?
Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,931
egg said:
There are still some things being worked out and done but I decided to let him stay with me for a while. With his family abusing him and his ex taking all of his things he honestly has nothing left to go back too. He's already started applying to different jobs and you can just tell he feels better.

There are people calling me crazy for doing it, telling me to leave him and let him worry about his own shit but I'm not like that. So right now everything is much better!
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That's an incredible thing to do! You go gurl~~
 
Tethered Penguin

Tethered Penguin

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
1,024
egg said:
There are still some things being worked out and done but I decided to let him stay with me for a while. With his family abusing him and his ex taking all of his things he honestly has nothing left to go back too. He's already started applying to different jobs and you can just tell he feels better.

There are people calling me crazy for doing it, telling me to leave him and let him worry about his own shit but I'm not like that. So right now everything is much better!
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We need more people like you in this world.
 
Nigthwizard

Nigthwizard

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
634
Costa Rica
Tethered Penguin said:
For years, I always assumed coming out would be easy, and that the LGBTQ+ community was overblowing it.

Oh, how wrong I was.

The amount of hatred I've seen directed towards the LGBTQ+ community is absolutely repulsive. Like I fucking can't.

Today, at lunch, I was sitting across a table full of guys, who were talking about relationships.There were absolutely no signs of resentment or anger, just a simple, casual conversation about how much they want to fuck this one chick. Until someone decided to bring up one of my gay classmates.

The entire tone of the conversation then took a sharp shift.

They repeatedly attacked him and his friends, there was absolutely no (noticeable) remorse in any of their statements.

"Honestly, if this fucking fag even got a taste of pussy, the dumb shit wouldn't even know what he's missing out on."

I genuinely envy all of you, it really does take courage to come out.
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I don't blame you, I'm not fully out yet, but even though life is much better when you're out. You're free to stop pretending and hiding yourself and that's liberating.

egg said:
There are still some things being worked out and done but I decided to let him stay with me for a while. With his family abusing him and his ex taking all of his things he honestly has nothing left to go back too. He's already started applying to different jobs and you can just tell he feels better.

There are people calling me crazy for doing it, telling me to leave him and let him worry about his own shit but I'm not like that. So right now everything is much better!
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The world would be a better place if more people like you were on it.
 
Gradon

Gradon

Saw the truth behind the copied door
Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,461
UK
Eurovision is over this year and I'm quite intoxicated so I thought I'd post my Eurovision outfit to LGBT era, how is everyone? Did anyone watch it?

32286575_10156454065097148_6482573703845511168_n.jpg
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NotVeryFriendly

NotVeryFriendly

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,664
Has anybody ever dated anybody who's extremely involved in the kink community but not been really interested yourself? A guy I've gotten really close to has been very actively involved in the kink community for years and has engaged in some acts I definitely wouldn't have an interest in (and regularly has unsafe sex with a lot of people, sometimes lots of people simultaneously, sometimes while under the influence of drugs [not just weed]).

We get along really well, have a lot of similar interests, our personalities complement each other well, and we've gone on a lot of dates, but I'm really hesitant about being anything more than just a friend to him at the moment because I'm really not sure if we're sexually compatible (just because the extent of what he's interested in) and the huge amount of risky sexual behaviour he practices has me a bit worried. I don't think it'd really be fair to ask him to compromise that when he's so interested in it and has made so many friends through that scene, but I don't know if it's something I could ever really feel at ease with. It has me conflicted because normally for me it's the other way around (sexually compatible, but our personalities don't really align).
 
AliceAmber

AliceAmber

Drive-in Mutant
Administrator
May 2, 2018
6,635
NotVeryFriendly said:
Has anybody ever dated anybody who's extremely involved in the kink community but not been really interested yourself? A guy I've gotten really close to has been very actively involved in the kink community for years and has engaged in some acts I definitely wouldn't have an interest in (and regularly has unsafe sex with a lot of people, sometimes lots of people simultaneously, sometimes while under the influence of drugs [not just weed]).

We get along really well, have a lot of similar interests, our personalities complement each other well, and we've gone on a lot of dates, but I'm really hesitant about being anything more than just a friend to him at the moment because I'm really not sure if we're sexually compatible (just because the extent of what he's interested in) and the huge amount of risky sexual behaviour he practices has me a bit worried. I don't think it'd really be fair to ask him to compromise that when he's so interested in it and has made so many friends through that scene, but I don't know if it's something I could ever really feel at ease with. It has me conflicted because normally for me it's the other way around (sexually compatible, but our personalities don't really align).
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I would say remain friends. However it sounds like he could use a friend with a good head on his shoulders. Does he regularly get tested?
 

Manipular

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
579
Detroit, MI
NotVeryFriendly said:
Has anybody ever dated anybody who's extremely involved in the kink community but not been really interested yourself? A guy I've gotten really close to has been very actively involved in the kink community for years and has engaged in some acts I definitely wouldn't have an interest in (and regularly has unsafe sex with a lot of people, sometimes lots of people simultaneously, sometimes while under the influence of drugs [not just weed]).

We get along really well, have a lot of similar interests, our personalities complement each other well, and we've gone on a lot of dates, but I'm really hesitant about being anything more than just a friend to him at the moment because I'm really not sure if we're sexually compatible (just because the extent of what he's interested in) and the huge amount of risky sexual behaviour he practices has me a bit worried. I don't think it'd really be fair to ask him to compromise that when he's so interested in it and has made so many friends through that scene, but I don't know if it's something I could ever really feel at ease with. It has me conflicted because normally for me it's the other way around (sexually compatible, but our personalities don't really align).
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I was once with a guy who was pretty into BDSM, but I didn't find that out until after we had become official. We got along well and the sex was good, but I told him that I wasn't really into all that when he first revealed it to me. We coasted along well for a while afterwards, but I noticed him slowly slipping some of that stuff into our sex life. It started with a simple blindfold, which I didn't mind because I thought it was pretty hot, then turned into him suggesting a whip and maybe some restraints.

I (belatedly) realized where this was heading and told him we should probably just go back to being friends, which he agreed to and we remain to this day. I could never have asked him to give up that part of himself just to stay in a relationship, but I also knew that getting into BDSM was not for me at all. Since you're pretty certain that you could never be comfortable with that part of his sex life, I think you would probably be better off as friends.
 
NotVeryFriendly

NotVeryFriendly

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,664
Alice Malice said:
I would say remain friends. However it sounds like he could use a friend with a good head on his shoulders. Does he regularly get tested?
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EDIT:
Manipular said:
I was once with a guy who was pretty into BDSM, but I didn't find that out until after we had become official. We got along well and the sex was good, but I told him that I wasn't really into all that when he first revealed it to me. We coasted along well for a while afterwards, but I noticed him slowly slipping some of that stuff into our sex life. It started with a simple blindfold, which I didn't mind because I thought it was pretty hot, then turned into him suggesting a whip and maybe some restraints.

I (belatedly) realized where this was heading and told him we should probably just go back to being friends, which he agreed to and we remain to this day. I could never have asked him to give up that part of himself just to stay in a relationship, but I also knew that getting into BDSM was not for me at all. Since you're pretty certain that you could never be comfortable with that part of his sex life, I think you would probably be better off as friends.
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He gets tested every month, and he's also on PrEP, so it's not like he's being totally reckless and disregarding his health completely, but he definitely has a different attitude towards sexual health (and has much more extreme interests sex-wise) than me (and is much more apathetic about it) which is a shame because we're so well matched otherwise.

EDIT: Thanks! I think both of you have given some much needed feedback for me. I think I needed an outside source to tell me I probably shouldn't pursue it further for me to 'accept' the likelihood that it just won't work out long term.
 
Tanooki

Tanooki

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,420
Canada
RatskyWatsky said:
oh honey dont be afraid to live life
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Pringles said:
whynotboth.gif
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Well, I didn't really want to hook up with him yesterday either way. I wasn't feeling it too much.

I just figure that I've held onto my virginity for this long, that I might as well have my first go at it with someone that I truly trust and feel comfortable with. I think it's close to happening. But I'm actually kinda concerned because I'm fairly certain nothing will ever become of this relationship with him (because I'm way out of my league here), and I've already been catching some serious feelings. I think him being my first is just a recipe to hurt myself in the long run, but... idk
 
Tethered Penguin

Tethered Penguin

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
1,024
Ya'll I got a question.

Does it really matter who you gift your v-gift card to? Is the first time as significant/memorable as some say?
 
Tanooki

Tanooki

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,420
Canada
Tethered Penguin said:
Ya'll I got a question.

Does it really matter who you gift your v-gift card to? Is the first time as significant/memorable as some say?
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For me, it's more of a personal thing. I know that gay culture is all about hooking up and stuff, but the whole concept of sex makes me feel really vulnerable. Maybe after my first couple times it won't be such a big deal, but as it stands right now, I would definitely rather my first time be with someone I trust and am comfortable with, rather than a random hookup. It's more of a personal milestone rather than trying to make a special bond with someone. (Although, I think the latter will come regardless)
 
RatskyWatsky

RatskyWatsky

Are we human or are we dancer?
Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,931
Berordn said:
Nope.

In fact, it's probably going to be pretty terrible sex.
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yep and you don't want someone you like having to go through that shit with you. how mortifying for someone you like to see you in such an awkward state. wahjah to the max. best to do it with a stranger youll never see again
 
Berordn

Berordn

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 26, 2017
9,725
NoVA
RatskyWatsky said:
yep and you don't want someone you like having to go through that shit with you. how mortifying for someone you like to see you in such an awkward state. wahjah to the max. best to do it with a stranger youll never see again
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hey, I'm not saying that, just that nothing intrinsically valuable to the first time.

do it with someone you like obviously, but there's nothing particularly special about the first time
 
Tethered Penguin

Tethered Penguin

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
1,024
I guess ya'll are right.

It'll more than likely be a one and done thing, so there isn't any reason to hope for genuine intimacy.

I appreciate the answers.
 
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