I hope no one needs any edits to the OP in the next 3 weeks...
Don't die plz.
I hope no one needs any edits to the OP in the next 3 weeks...
my AvPD
basically feeling like a space alien my whole life lol.
are you saying that Ditto isn't perpetually horny because i have something to tell you
I smiled fucking weird and suddenly made a sound like a vacuum losing suction.
GET IT sisPutting myself back out there on Scruff, Grindr, and Tinder. :X
I've gotten some bites (not literal bites, as that's not a fetish of mine) on the dating apps, but I never know how to continue a conversation through messaging. Plus, I have to work on my self-confidence. Years of being called "fag" and other unsavory insults growing up by a small group of people throughout school and never having been in actual relationship ever hasn't helped with that.
Since you bring up the hookup apps, I am kind of curious on people's thoughts on sexual racism, or I guess some people would want to call it preference.
Like I am sure some of you have seen things like this:
It's interesting that despite our history of being a marginalised group, there is an obvious gay racial desirability hierarchy.
I am sure this occurs with lesbians too.
Do people generally find this acceptable?
Do you find this acceptable and do it? What do you do to rationalise this?
Even if you don't find it acceptable in theory, do you still do it? Do you feel any dissonance from this?
(I am a gaysian, in a ltr with a gaysian)
Since you bring up the hookup apps, I am kind of curious on people's thoughts on sexual racism, or I guess some people would want to call it preference.
Like I am sure some of you have seen things like this:
It's interesting that despite our history of being a marginalised group, there is an obvious gay racial desirability hierarchy.
I am sure this occurs with lesbians too.
Do people generally find this acceptable?
Do you find this acceptable and do it? What do you do to rationalise this?
Even if you don't find it acceptable in theory, do you still do it? Do you feel any dissonance from this?
(I am a gaysian, in a ltr with a gaysian)
There is a huge problem I think with sexual stereotypes - Asians = undersexualised submissive bottoms, Black guys = hypersexualised dominant tops.Preference is one thing but might be a problem when it crosses over into a hard-set fixation. At the same time what is the difference between preferring bears, twinks, otters and preferring asians, blacks or whatever? I guess the root of the problem is when peoples preferences are based on racial stereotypes and the like and when people throw around racial slurs like "rice queen" in the video, that can never be okay. Also, the nature of hook-up apps as a quick and dirty tool for getting off hardly lay a good groundwork for more nuanced relationship-cultivating or thought. Sorry for the rambling, I don't really have an answer.
There was actually a study on this, I think there are quite a few probably."Preferences" are one thing. You can prefer body hair or no body hair, or prefer one sexual act over another. "Preferences" based in race are *almost* always based in racism, whether the holder of such an opinion is aware that it's based in a form of racial prejudice or not. To say that you're "not attracted to black men" or Asian men or whatever...to start, black people are not a monolith. There are literally millions of different black men and none of them are entirely alike. Same goes with any other example of race. To discount an entire race is racism full stop, because guess what, the only thing that they have in common is the colour of their skin--and even then, there are thousands of variations on even that. Like what is "Asian men" anyway? There are, again, hundreds of different ethnic groups in Asia, all of them quite different, and then billions of individuals total in every group. Russian is technically Asian in that it's on the Asian subcontinent. Not being attracted to black men or Asian men or Indian men or whomever, no matter how they try to rationalize their "preference" of skin tone in a sexual partner, is racism.
Basically, the same things that line up with someone being racist in general, similarly drive people being more racially selective in their choice of sexual and romantic partners. And the rise of apps has seemingly made it worse.Although some characterize discrimination among partners on the basis of race as a form of racism, others present it as a matter of preference. In May 2011, 2177 gay and bisexual men in Australia participated in an online survey that assessed how acceptably they viewed online sexual racism. Although the men sampled displayed diverse attitudes, many were remarkably tolerant of sexual racism. We conducted two multiple linear regression analyses to compare factors related to men's attitudes toward sexual racism online and their racist attitudes more broadly. Almost every identified factor associated with men's racist attitudes was also related to their attitudes toward sexual racism. The only differences were between men who identified as Asian or Indian. Sexual racism, therefore, is closely associated with generic racist attitudes, which challenges the idea of racial attraction as solely a matter of personal preference.
Since you bring up the hookup apps, I am kind of curious on people's thoughts on sexual racism, or I guess some people would want to call it preference.
Like I am sure some of you have seen things like this:
It's interesting that despite our history of being a marginalised group, there is an obvious gay racial desirability hierarchy.
I am sure this occurs with lesbians too.
Do people generally find this acceptable?
Do you find this acceptable and do it? What do you do to rationalise this?
Even if you don't find it acceptable in theory, do you still do it? Do you feel any dissonance from this?
(I am a gaysian, in a ltr with a gaysian)
Black guy here, I've seen all sorts of awful things. Especially since I am a bigger guy, , I get a lot of the "dom bbc" stuff from guys on the apps. As others already said, discounting an entire race is kinda insane and def racist. I love telling jokes about grindr racism in my standup because I can see the POCs in the audience laugh and the white gays clam up as if they don't know how often that happens.
Porn def has a big impact on the gay community - all the grindr tribes are from porn and are mostly based on white guy characteristics, ignoring other groups who may not be as hairy or have other phenotypical traits.
It can potentially point to being nonbinary or trans, but not 100%So, dumb question but I'm having gender thoughts and it's killing me.
I present as male (bald and bearded thanks) but I have an ever-growing desire to embrace more traditionally- or modern-feminine things (nail polish, skirts, wigs (I WANT HAIR AGAIN, DAMN IT), tunics, cloaks, shrugs, etc.). I'm not sure if I want to present as female when I do this—like, I don't want to shave my beard—but I also want to *feel* freer and more in touch with my feminine-side of things.
The question is, does this make me non-binary at all? I know it's a silly thing to ask, but in my constant search for identity, well, it's got me confused.
It can potentially point to being nonbinary or trans, but not 100%
Really only you can say what you identify as, gender is complex and personal, and with time you may find something that fits you, but no matter what you identify as you should present how you like for any reason!
(I'm also hoping to God I can hold on to my hair, my forehead is as big enough already >.>)
Edit I'm basically going though the same questions you are, and I'm giving you the same advice I've been told :v
LOL truIf it makes you feel any better, without the contrast of hair or a hairline, your forehead won't really look any bigger.
Haven't posted a pic here in a while so here I go
Anyone have big plans this weekend? I'm hopefully relaxing for once, but might see some friends on Sunday.
Anyone have big plans this weekend? I'm hopefully relaxing for once, but might see some friends on Sunday.
Forgive me for sounding thirsty but you look fantastic omg.Haven't posted a pic here in a while so here I go [edit: fixed]
Anyone have big plans this weekend? I'm hopefully relaxing for once, but might see some friends on Sunday.
ThequietoneI swear I saw someone in real life that was letters GAF/ERA but I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure which one of you it was and I am bad at that kind of stuff.
Yeah. That's why I chose my username. lol
Pic broken :/ No plans, praying that my new speakers arrive tomorrow so I can bomb some music in the comfort of my own home for the rest of the weekend.
Might go out on a date with a guy I've previously chatted with on Grindr.
Forgive me for sounding thirsty but you look fantastic omg.
No big plans for this weekend for me. My town has a large indoor garage sale tomorrow so I might go poke around there but that's probably going to be all of note here.