LGBTQera |ERA1| (We're Queer)

[MasaDrew]

FINALLY had an account created. I used to post regularly on the old forum (Masamuna) and have been lurking on here for some time.Its good to see some familiar faces!

• Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?) Cisgender Male
• Your sexual orientation? Gay
• Where Do You Live? Atlanta, GA
• How Old Are you? 33
• Favorite Type of Music? Alternative and Pop. CHVRCHES is always on rotation and I'm currently trying to digest the new Bastille.
• Profession or Career interest? I work in the automotive industry but do Art commissions on the side. I would love to be a full time artist.
• Favorite video game(s)? SOTN, FFT, FFVI, Soulcalibur 2, Nier Automata, Tenchu
• What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? I love to draw, sing and dance. I'm learning to cook.

I've been single for a year, dated off and on but ran into dead ends. I took up therapy a few months ago to really explore my own baggage and its probably the best thing ive ever done. Definitely feel more like myself again and the friends and romantic social links seem to come more naturally because of it.

 

[Kismet]

I'm going to remain single and try to abstain from sex. Let's see how long it lasts.

Weekend was great with the Greek guy. I f**d his brains out, but I felt so empty after. It's not a good feeling.
I need more time for myself.

 

[Deleted member 5127]

Guys, what do I do when someone is making serious threats on Grindr? I've been trying to calm him down because he scares the fuck out of me but this guy is seriously deranged.

 

[Kismet]

Report and block

 

[Deleted member 5127]

Report and block

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This is the second time he's doing it and he has several accounts, what scares me the most is that I'll stumble upon him IRL.

 

[Kismet]

Ok, that's scary. If you have info on him, name etc, not just pics... go to the police.

There are way too many crazy people out there. Better take care of yourself and report him if he keeps on doing it.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

Pride is fucking dead. It has become just another stage for corporations, authoritarians, and bourgeois motherfuckers to flex like they're our legitimate allies while covertly killing us or at the very least turning a blind eye. I have never gone to a pride before and at this rate I literally never will, because these superficial gestures aren't and should not be enough anymore. Fuck this era of political impotence forever.

 

[Canucked]

Pride is fucking dead. It has become just another stage for corporations, authoritarians, and bourgeois motherfuckers to flex like they're our legitimate allies while covertly killing us or at the very least turning a blind eye. I have never gone to a pride before and at this rate I literally never will, because these superficial gestures aren't and should not be enough anymore. Fuck this era of political impotence forever.

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This current edgy argument of corporations being in pride is kind of tiring. The fact that multi-million dollar companies are willing to say they support gay people and possibly anger their religious customers is a big fucking deal. I don't care if they're doing it for exposure, they're still standing there with us. It wasn't that long ago that no one stood in a parade except a few brave people and their brave friends. Most queer folk were afraid to go. If a bank wants to say they support us, I'm fine if they want to flash their logo.

What the hell do you want them to do? Nothing? Put down their rainbow flags and leave us exiled?

The fact that you say you've never gone to a pride before, but calling it fucking dead is kinda sad, because I've been in pride parades years ago where it felt like five people showed up. You don't even fucking know what it's like to be in that situation. It feels unsafe. Now I go and it feels like support. I wants my friends and family and community there.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

This current edgy argument of corporations being in pride is kind of tiring. The fact that multi-million dollar companies are willing to say they support gay people and possibly anger their religious customers is a big fucking deal. I don't care if they're doing it for exposure, they're still standing there with us. It wasn't that long ago that no one stood in a parade except a few brave people and their brave friends. Most queer folk were afraid to go. If a bank wants to say they support us, I'm fine if they want to flash their logo.

What the hell do you want them to do? Nothing? Put down their rainbow flags and leave us exiled?

The fact that you say you've never gone to a pride before, but calling it fucking dead is kinda sad, because I've been in pride parades years ago where it felt like five people showed up. You don't even fucking know what it's like to be in that situation. It feels unsafe. Now I go and it feels like support. I wants my friends and family and community there.

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I appreciate your perspective but youtube is the primary pipeline of (mainstream) online radicalization for the right, and they have shown that they will never take any accountability for that if they literally aren't forced to. And police presence will do nothing but disenfranchise people of colour. All forms of oppression are interwoven and mutually supportive and we're too fucking eager to pat ourselves on the back for what is basically optics. The slightest hiccup threatens to reverse everything because the rationale behind 'black people are bad' or 'trans people are bad' or 'gay people are bad' are all fundamentally the same. I honestly don't see how that's edgy, it's a legitimate concern. I personally can't feel recognized by a political sentiment with that much internal dissonance.

And I've never been to pride because of internalized homophobia and avoidant personality disorder. Now I feel like I'm ready to go but I don't even see the thing as legitimate.

 

[IvorB]

This current edgy argument of corporations being in pride is kind of tiring. The fact that multi-million dollar companies are willing to say they support gay people and possibly anger their religious customers is a big fucking deal. I don't care if they're doing it for exposure, they're still standing there with us. It wasn't that long ago that no one stood in a parade except a few brave people and their brave friends. Most queer folk were afraid to go. If a bank wants to say they support us, I'm fine if they want to flash their logo.

What the hell do you want them to do? Nothing? Put down their rainbow flags and leave us exiled?

The fact that you say you've never gone to a pride before, but calling it fucking dead is kinda sad, because I've been in pride parades years ago where it felt like five people showed up. You don't even fucking know what it's like to be in that situation. It feels unsafe. Now I go and it feels like support. I wants my friends and family and community there.

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Yeah I agree. Everywhere in London right now there are rainbow flags and that's great. My work place is decked out everywhere: email client, email signatures, JIRA the works. It kind of feels like people are at a stage of taking things a bit for granted to complain about this level of acceptance and visibility. Go to a country in Africa for example and see how gay people would think people are crazy to turn their noses up at that.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

^which we wouldn't have without political activism, but I guess it's better now so we can just stop with that and accept the instusion of libertarian technocrats actively or passively contributing to the disintegration of society for their own profit.

I think pride should be in the spirit of activism. If things are that much better then it really is just a celebratory party. Which, like, fine. But if we're not actively engaging with intersectionalism then we honestly have no strong ideological thrust or political philosophy to speak of in which case what is it that is even being expressed by pride?

 

[Canucked]

^which we wouldn't have without political activism, but I guess it's better now so we can just stop with that and accept the instusion of libertarian technocrats actively or passively contributing to the disintegration of society for their own profit.

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No one is saying to stop? But the idea that pride is dead because we haven't completely won yet is fucking crazy. This is the part where we keep going.

We ALWAYS have to keep momentum going. We have to show up. And we can't slash the tires of our allies who are showing up because we don't feel like enough has happened. And frankly, pride is there because of political activists and when other political activists in the digital age turn it into memes and judgement, it's a slap in the face of people who physically fought for this shit.

Let the people stand with you. And keep asking for more. Pride isn't dead. It's helping communities. Could the world be better? Yes! Will it be better if we turn our backs on people who are trying and say things like "pride is dead"? That will make it worse.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

No one is saying to stop? But the idea that pride is dead because we haven't completely won yet is fucking crazy. This is the part where we keep going.

We ALWAYS have to keep momentum going. We have to show up. And we can't slash the tires of our allies who are showing up because we don't feel like enough has happened. And frankly, pride is there because of political activists and when other political activists in the digital age turn it into memes and judgement, it's a slap in the face of people who physically fought for this shit.

Let the people stand with you. And keep asking for more. Pride isn't dead. It's helping communities. Could the world be better? Yes! Will it be better if we turn our backs on people who are trying and say things like "pride is dead"? That will make it worse.

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The point is it's not edgy to not want Alphabet to have a place of honour in a parade that is supposed to celebrate our self-emancipation when they're one of the primarily institutions steering our culture towards oppression. There are things to do but we apparently lack the concentrated political will to do them as evidenced by apparently like 85% of attendees being perfectly fine with Youtube and the police being present in that capacity? There will always be stuff to do but it doesn't help in doing them to be ideologically bankrupt, and I think we should call out more of our peers for being so passive because our own movement is the only one that can provide its own direction but by and large it looks like we're failing.

 

[Canucked]

The point is it's not edgy to not want Alphabet to have a place of honour in a parade that is supposed to celebrate our self-emancipation when they're one of the primarily institutions steering our culture towards oppression. There are things to do but we apparently lack the concentrated political will to do them as evidenced by like 85% of attendees being perfectly fine with Youtube and the police being present in that capacity.

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Your posts actually reek of internet edge.

Are some representations in the parade problematic? Yes. Do we throw pride out? Hell no. My niece is going with me this year. This is how she learns. What are you doing about it? Not even showing up to begin with. Complaining online? Thanks, but I'd rather have a corporations support.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

Your posts actually reek of internet edge.

Are some representations in the parade problematic? Yes. Do we throw pride out? Hell no. My niece is going with me this year. This is how she learns. What are you doing about it? Not even showing up to begin with. Complaining online? Thanks, but I'd rather have a corporations support.

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If that kind of 'support' satisfies you then I can see why you're so unbothered.

 

[Canucked]

If that kind of 'support' satisfies you then I can see why you're so unbothered.

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I am more bothered by inaction than action, yes.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

I am more bothered by inaction than action, yes.

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Not only do you have no idea what I'm doing, but imagine construing Youtube's response to the Crowder thing as 'action' in any meaningful sense. And our own community is too fucking weak to hold them to account in any meaningful sense, probably because we've mistook resting on our laurels for meaningful action.

 

[Canucked]

Not only do you have no idea what I'm doing, but imagine construing Youtube's response to the Crowder thing as 'action' in any meaningful sense. And our own community is too fucking weak to hold them to account in any meaningful sense, probably because we've mistook resting on our laurels for meaningful action.

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I don't know why you're being obtuse. Or what Youtube's actions have to be with standing up. Nothing youtube WILL EVER DO can invalidate or kill pride. They aren't even represented in the pride in my city. There are people and places having their first pride all over the place.

You're throwing the baby out with the bathwater because LGBTQ people aren't perfectly treated yet. THAT'S THE POINT OF PRIDE. To keep marching until things like that don't happen. To show young people that they have a safe space. We can fight new fights on new frontiers digitally and everywhere and keep going but you're over it because of capitalism? Because corporations?

Our community isn't too weak to fight it. It's just getting strong NOW. It's building. We need all the tools we can get. It's way stronger than ten years ago. Exponentially stronger than 50.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

I don't know why you're being obtuse. Or what Youtube's actions have to be with standing up. Nothing youtube WILL EVER DO can invalidate or kill pride. They aren't even represented in the pride in my city. There are people and places having their first pride all over the place.

You're throwing the baby out with the bathwater because LGBTQ people aren't perfectly treated yet. THAT'S THE POINT OF PRIDE. To keep marching until things like that don't happen. To show young people that they have a safe space. We can fight new fights on new frontiers digitally and everywhere and keep going but you're over it because of capitalism? Because corporations?

Our community isn't too weak to fight it. It's just getting strong NOW. It's building. We need all the tools we can get. It's way stronger than ten years ago. Exponentially stronger than 50.

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SF pride is content to include Alphabet under the supposed rationale of 'inclusion', not realizing that including Alphabet actually subverts the ideal of inclusion itself. And it's exactly the same with the police for the pride parade on my city. We seemingly no longer have the will to identify our enemies!

For the record I think the social recognition of pride serves a function. But reducing this to 'captalism' is out of touch.

 

[berzeli]

SF pride is content to include Alphabet under the supposed rationale of 'inclusion', not realizing that including Alphabet actually subverts the ideal of inclusion. We seemingly no longer have the will to identify our enemies.

For the record I think the social recognition of pride serves a function. But reducing this to 'captalism' is out of touch.

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So... um. If you what you wanted to rant about was Youtube/Google/Alphabet in regards to Pride. It might have been useful to include that in your initial post, because that initial post just reeks of vapid edge. And is so goddamn self-centred it makes my eyes almost roll out of my socket.

If SanFran Pride fucks it up, does that make something like Istanbul Pride a haven for those supposed "corporations, authoritarians, and bourgeois motherfuckers"? Pride isn't one cohesive thing for everyone or everywhere. If you don't want to go to Pride, don't go to Pride. Don't post some vague edgelord rant as justification for that.

 

[Canucked]

SF pride is content to include Alphabet under the supposed rationale of 'inclusion', not realizing that including Alphabet actually subverts the ideal of inclusion itself. And it's exactly the same with the police for the pride parade on my city. We seemingly no longer have the will to identify our enemies!

For the record I think the social recognition of pride serves a function. But reducing this to 'captalism' is out of touch.

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Look, I've been out of touch for 300 of my five thousand years of life. At one point I was super in touch. And I get it. It's frustrating to see these things happen then to cheer rainbows for a week. And I didn't mean to be harsh with you. I'm sorry.

But I wish you could see how excited my niece is to be with her uncles at pride. That right there is the point for me. I won't give up on it.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

So... um. If you what you wanted to rant about was Youtube/Google/Alphabet in regards to Pride. It might have been useful to include that in your initial post, because that initial post just reeks of vapid edge. And is so goddamn self-centred it makes my eyes almost roll out of my socket.

If SanFran Pride fucks it up, does that make something like Istanbul Pride a haven for those supposed "orporations, authoritarians, and bourgeois motherfuckers"? Pride isn't one cohesive thing for everyone or everywhere. If you don't want to go to Pride, don't go to Pride. Don't post some vague edgelord rant as justification for that.

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Fair enough, my feelings got the better of me. But how are y'all not mad about these people basically pissing on your leg and telling you its raining? Our political discourse is enabling it because we seem so tolerant of ambiguity.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

Look, I've been out of touch for 300 of my five thousand years of life. At one point I was super in touch. And I get it. It's frustrating to see these things happen then to cheer rainbows for a week. And I didn't mean to be harsh with you. I'm sorry.

But I wish you could see how excited my niece is to be with her uncles at pride. That right there is the point for me. I won't give up on it.

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I'm sorry too. Honestly I'm realizing that my emotional inhibition (a part of my AvPD) seems to have the consequence that when I do actually get riled up, I don't really have the 'adult' faculties to channel it in the most constructive way, because I've basically been avoiding or explaining away my feelings for most of my life.

 

[Canucked]

I'm glad we talked about it though.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

I'm glad we talked about it though.

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Me too.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

Happy ending :3

 

[Deleted member 18360]

Happy ending :3

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You finally got me to watch Claws last night btw! I'm only two episodes in, but I really didn't know what I was missing.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

You finally got me to watch Claws last night btw! I'm only two episodes in, but I really didn't know what I was missing.

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yessssss

 

[Sai]

all libertarian technocrats get the wall

 

[Manipular]

Finally got around to watching Pose. It's amazing. Bought the second season on Amazon because I don't have cable and can't watch it live lol.

 

[IvorB]

SF pride is content to include Alphabet under the supposed rationale of 'inclusion', not realizing that including Alphabet actually subverts the ideal of inclusion itself. And it's exactly the same with the police for the pride parade on my city. We seemingly no longer have the will to identify our enemies!

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Sounds like you have a beef with Alphabet being at Pride which is actually valid to me. I don't think that invalidates how important Pride is, as others have said.

 

[BadAlchemy]

Pride is a complicated thing for me too. For one I do have crippling social anxiety, and that does color my overall perception of it. Even with that I think it's positive, because for people like me, as much as I want to "blend in", not being seen is extremely dangerous. It's also helpful to see other people like me in the flesh. One can get a very distorted image of who we are and what we look like if it all comes from Instagram pictures and it can help a lot with body image stuff.

Pride also doesn't give me the deeper connection with people like me I'd like to have. Sometimes people talk about the later parties, but they tend to be pretty sexual, and I'm demisexual and if anything even less comfortable in those environments.

And yeah there's a lot of corporate tokenism and hypocrisy involved as well. I'm not happy about that, I'd prefer authentic engagement, but if someone acknowledges us they're more likely to listen than the many, many people who don't even go that far.

So I'm conflicted about it and I certainly don't get everything I would want or need from it, but I still think it's a Good Thing.

 

[Canucked]

I just don't click with any of the guys in the Dream Daddy game. They need Daddy DLC.

 

[Deleted member 42055]

Gaga doing incredibly public, visible Queen things. Meanwhile where's T Swift at? Hmmm I guess showing up publicly isn't part of her carefully curated persona this image cycle. Oh wait she has " "support the equality act " in her Twitter bio, thanks for the bone !

 

[Deleted member 18360]

Sounds like you have a beef with Alphabet being at Pride which is actually valid to me. I don't think that invalidates how important Pride is, as others have said.

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It's not just that, but yeah you're right. I guess I'm just generally scared that liberal or centrist politics doesn't have a very strong or compelling narrative anymore, as evidenced by the resurgence of the right and how challenging it has been to directly confront that, and ~85% of our community apparently being cool with corporate and police presence just makes me think that maybe our community should be better at identifying this as a crisis or what our commitment to our principles should entail. I didn't mean to throw the baby out with the bath water, it just feels like we're getting a pretty loud warning about what our future could be, and it feels like we should be just a little quicker to respond to it. But my anger and the simple way that I expressed it did overtake what was basically supposed to be polemic. But for how much shit pride has been getting this month, it should be clear that it's more important than ever.

Pride is a complicated thing for me too. For one I do have crippling social anxiety, and that does color my overall perception of it. Even with that I think it's positive, because for people like me, as much as I want to "blend in", not being seen is extremely dangerous. It's also helpful to see other people like me in the flesh. One can get a very distorted image of who we are and what we look like if it all comes from Instagram pictures and it can help a lot with body image stuff.

Pride also doesn't give me the deeper connection with people like me I'd like to have. Sometimes people talk about the later parties, but they tend to be pretty sexual, and I'm demisexual and if anything even less comfortable in those environments.

And yeah there's a lot of corporate tokenism and hypocrisy involved as well. I'm not happy about that, I'd prefer authentic engagement, but if someone acknowledges us they're more likely to listen than the many, many people who don't even go that far.

So I'm conflicted about it and I certainly don't get everything I would want or need from it, but I still think it's a Good Thing.

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Thanks, I appreciate this.

Sort of OT: does anyone know of any intersectionalist anarcho communist movements? (Why do I have to become such a fucking ideologue the moment I decide to develop an ounce of political sentiment lol...)

 

[OniLinkPlus]

En route to San Francisco for Pride!

Sort of OT: does anyone know of any intersectionalist anarcho communist movements? (Why do I have to become such a fucking ideologue the moment I decide to develop an ounce of political sentiment lol...)

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If you find anything, please let us know? A long term goal of ours is to set up some sort of queer anarchist commune. Likely a ranch where we can be self sustaining and expand to bring in as many queers as we can. We know Tenacious Unicorn Ranch is doing something like that, with a focus on it being a place for trans women.

 

[Delphine]

Finally got around to watching Pose. It's amazing. Bought the second season on Amazon because I don't have cable and can't watch it live lol.

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I love this show so much! I discovered it last year and couldn't stop promoting it every-fucking-where during the entire year, because I truly think it's a great show, an important one with so many needed representation. It's a breath of fresh air to me, really.

 

[DNAbro]

I'm in Annapolis for the first inaugural Pride parade and also my first time going to one.

It's really fucking hot.

Edit:Back home now. Started to feel bad which might have been a mix of anxiety and mild heat stroke.

Really glad I went though. Here is a cool dog I met

 

[Manipular]

I love this show so much! I discovered it last year and couldn't stop promoting it every-fucking-where during the entire year, because I truly think it's a great show, an important one with so many needed representation. It's a breath of fresh air to me, really.

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I had heard of it when it first premiered, but I didn't actually watch it until the first season came to Netflix, then I was hooked. I'm the same way now, talking about it to everyone I can lol. It's amazing. So glad it's getting a third season.

 

[Deleted member 18360]

If you find anything, please let us know? A long term goal of ours is to set up some sort of queer anarchist commune. Likely a ranch where we can be self sustaining and expand to bring in as many queers as we can. We know Tenacious Unicorn Ranch is doing something like that, with a focus on it being a place for trans women.

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Sure! Though I think we might be nationals of different countries? (I'm from Canada).

 

[Patsy]

Happy last day of pride month!! I've been meaning to do this since I made my account around E3, but got super busy :( Well it's here now! ALSO I'm still super new here and barely know how to do anything even though I've been lurking for ages without an account so please be gentle if I fuck up some formatting or something lmao

Your gender? Your sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?) I'm nb and use both they/them and she/her, don't really have a preference. Mostly use she/her myself though due to German not having neutral pronouns & generally being fine with my own femininity & calling myself a woman

Your sexual orientation? femme lesbian

Where are you from?/Where do you live? Germany

How old are you? Just turned 22 on the 26th! :D

Favorite type of music? R&B & Indie probably, but as a bosnian croat I'm very guilty of absolutely loving Turbofolk and older music from the ex-yu countries

Favorite video game(s)? Drakenier Yoko Taro owns my ass ngl

What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? Running, weight lifting and giving my dog an endless amount of love


I came out to my mum around this time last year and literally at 3am on NYE this year to my dad after years of being scared shitless of especially my dad disowning me (because most relatives are super strict catholics) and I genuinely haven't been the same since. Never in my life have I thought that my parents would be so supportive and love me so unconditionally. It gave me so much strength and made me love myself & my own lesbianism so much more than before. I still struggle with stupid comphet every now and then, but god loving women makes me incredibly happy. ; v;
Also just a tiny side note: Personally, I'm not okay with others using the q slur when referring to me - just call me a lesbian please. It's obviously fine if you reclaimed it and use it for yourself though!!

 

[Ambient80]

I'm attending my first Pride event in Charlotte in August, can't wait!! My man is driving down from Ohio to spend the week with me and we'll end that week at the festival/parade that weekend. So excited!!! :D Like any self-respecting bi man, however, I'm stressing over what to wear! Anyone know of any good sites for Pride-related clothing? Preferably one that sends some proceeds to a charity would be cool, but I'll check out anything.

 

[Deleted member 42055]

One of us
One of us
Hope everyone had a great Pride month

 

[RedHoodedOwl]

How is everybody dealing with this heatwave?

 

[RatskyWatsky]

How is everybody dealing with this heatwave?

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i am a cold blooded creature and need external heat sources to survive, so i like this heatwave

 

[Kater]

Finally got around to watching Pose. It's amazing. Bought the second season on Amazon because I don't have cable and can't watch it live lol.

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FX is killing it for me. Always Sunny's last season closed off with a beautiful firework and then I find this show. Been binge watching almost the whole first season while I was hungover and at home today. A rough time the way they portray it in the show but I so wish there were balls for me to visit where I grew up.

Patsy Hello Patsy! Good to see fellow mainlanders here. 😎

 

[RedHoodedOwl]

i am a cold blooded creature and need external heat sources to survive, so i like this heatwave

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I'm more like Mister Freeze without his suit.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

I'm more like Mister Freeze without his suit.

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cold is okay as long as I have several layers of wool/fur to keep me warm

 

[RedHoodedOwl]

I remember dealing with a heatwave without an air conditioner.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

I remember dealing with a heatwave without an air conditioner.

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sounds like heaven tbh