It probably is all in my head. I've tried to stop thinking about it so much but I can't help it! lol
I'm 100% independent but I would at the very least want (need) the support of my mom (and my dad as well). Also, the friend I mentioned: that was the first time in my entire life that someone -- at least to my face -- suggested I was gay, and it caught me completely off guard.
Also, I'm really big into sports (my tennis league played the national competition last year) and although I can probably handle it, I'm sort of dreading when they find out. I wouldn't call them homophobic or anything, but I'm still a little nervous about it.
edit: I think I might tell my brother first and see how that goes...
The fact that people never asked you doesn't mean they never consider you could be gay. None of my friends ever asked me about it, but most of them told me they already knew when I told them.
My parents never asked me directly either, but, like yours, they had asked me about girlfriends before, and my dad told me he already knew when I came out. It wasn't easy, they were pretty elderly already at the time (60+) and my mom was very difficult in the beginning, to the point that I thought she would never change her opinion and accept me. She is a very difficult person all around and I never had (and still don't have) a good relationship with her (for reasons other than me being gay), but fast forward to today and she doesn't mind me being gay at all, she is actually really fond of my husband (as much as she can be fond of anyone). My dad was supportive since the very beginning, and has my husband like his own son.
Bear in mind that they aren't liberal people at all, they are even bigoted in many aspects, but this is just how things tend to be, you're their family, and, unless they have serious issues, they will want to still have their son in their lives, and will find their own answers to deal with the situation.
As for fear that some of your friends might leave you... Fuck them if they do. This is the oldest cliche in the world, but it's also the truest: if they don't support you, they weren't really your friends to begin with. When you come out you inevitable expose yourself to many different kinds of people, and you will end up making a lot of new friends and losing contact with others anyway. I lost one very close friend in this process (part of it was my fault, because he reached to me years after I came out and said he was sorry for stepping away, and at that point I didn't have the energy to try and work things out with him again, so are still distant), but I kept some of the best ones too, and made new ones as well.
I have openly lived as a gay man for a decade now, and you will find out it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme for a lot of people. I have worked in 4 or 5 different places and in all of them they knew about me, never had major problems. I do have to deal with unpleasant situations here and there, and sometimes things are much harder for us than they would be for a straight person, but this is part of being queer, unfortunately. On the other hand, we are blessed because we are all resilient people who learn to deal with these problems since early age, and that makes us strong to tackle anything that life puts ahead of us. There's something uplifting and incredible about living your life on your own terms, regardless of what rotten conformist society thinks. This is what pride is about. It's a crazy ride, but it's also a deliciously delightful one.
Good times are ahead of you, don't miss out anymore :)
